Smack! The bank teller’s hand connected so forcefully with my left cheek that I could have sworn a thousand demons put their pointy weapons together into one forceful, soul-crushing jab.

“What!” I yelled defensively. “I just asked for you to go on a date with me and the strapping Adventurer’s Guide. You don’t have to kiss him or anything.” I rubbed my red cheek, unsure of how I was actually feeling pain. I pulled up my health and realized that it had only done one damage out of my one hundred health points. Man, I’m going to have to make sure I don’t actually get hit by a thousand demon spears.

“Well...” started the other sister, “she’s married to a prince and I don’t think he would like her going on a date with a freaky old man. Sorry hun, you are pretty cute and all, there’s just no way that she would agree to it. But I think that red mark on your face was probably enough for you to realize that.” She gave me an evil smile, clearly looking me up and down. The third sibling didn’t say anything, but had an obvious frown on his face.

I turned around and walked away from the bankers. “Hold on to that for me won’t you?” I asked Billy on my way out.

“Of course, of course lad. If you get stuck just remember who you are and how you got that sword in the first place,” Billy answered cryptically.

“Uh.. Yeah of course.” I said reluctantly. What does that even mean? I stepped out onto the road and took a look around. I was just outside of Landalof Castle. Landalof was a neutral city and home to no other than Princess Alana.

With no weapons or skills of any kind I knew that it was going to be rough. Hardcore characters had no access to training, trading, or other luxuries that other players did. It was actually pretty cool, it had just been awhile since I had been on rock bottom.

I continued to walk down the street and looked around. The town of Landalof was mostly inhabited by new players who were still figuring their lives out. It had a general store, a church, and a few other unimportant buildings. The most important part about Landalof was that they had NPC trainers that could teach new players skills.

You see, without a trainer, it takes a lot longer to learn basic skills in swordsmanship, magic, and archery. There were even craftsmen and gatherers for players to get a jump start on earning their profession. I had only ever used them on my first account that wasn’t hardcore, but I had a feeling that with my unique situation I could convince them to help me.

I walked up to trainers’ area and saw that it was busy indeed. There were countless trainers, and even more players, running about hitting dummies with wooden swords, smithing daggers, and shooting off basic magic attacks. I walked up to a swords trainer, but before I could, something grabbed me from behind and dragged me out the door.

“Your kind ain’t welcome around these parts,” growled a behemoth of man. Pulling up his name it said he was Brutus the axe trainer.

“Or do I?” I asked, nervously spewing off the first stupid comeback that came to mind. The man looked me up and down. A confused expression washed over his face.

“Do you?” he asked, almost more to himself. It was as if moving out of pre scripted lines made him realize that in reality it would make no sense that I couldn’t receive training. He then decided to go back to his original instincts and tossed me out the door.

My body hit the ground and I lost ten life points. Quite some time ago they made actions you could take more complex, but I didn’t remember ever taking damage from slaps or from being thrown to the ground.

I hopped up and dusted myself off, ready to start my dreaded climb back to the top of the leaderboards. If I wasn’t one of the best, I wouldn’t be able to scare the scammers and lurers enough. Then again, it didn’t really seem to matter. I had killed what felt like millions of them and they always seemed to come back.

I made my way west towards the beginning training grounds, which was a small squarish pen with low level training dummies on three sides and a guard in the middle. The guard actually was “skilled” with every kind of combat, so he allowed players to learn to adapt to various situations.I thought back to my first month, getting lost in a wave of nostalgia.

***

I pictured myself swinging a large wooden sword against the dummies over and over. You see, base classes can be discovered by practicing various skills, but when and if they arise is actually quite random, even more so for hardcore players. After giving up on the dummies, I spent a great deal of time trying to procure a certain spell. One of the guard’s “modes” was that he would cast Protect on himself, allowing him to to reduce the amount of damage he took from any attack. I eventually earned enough affinity with him for being there and he taught it to me. An idea had begun to worm itself into my head.

Every day for a few weeks were more or less the same. I’d take out my Basic Wooden Shield and then skirmish with the guard over and over, letting him beat on me until my health fell into the red. I casted Protect over and over as well, but it didn’t do much really at how low of a level i was in it. I’d then make my way over to the river, catch some fish, cook it on a random fire, restore my health, and start all over. Eventually, after taking what had to have been my billionth attack from the guard, a notification appeared. I pulled it up and was relieved my hard work finally paid off.

You have discovered a rare base class called: Protector: You are semi skilled with a shield and have a knack for casting protective charms on yourself. Note: Following this path could lead to the classes: Bulwarker, Defensive Witch, and Spell-Shield. As usual, other classes could also be discovered. Good luck!

***

My thoughts shot back to the present as I reached the pens. I took a deep breath in, taking note of the smell. It was earthy with a hint of hay, most likely from the training dummies. Wow, I thought, I’m really going to have to ask Steve how I can smell and feel pain. I knew he said the game was prepped to switch over to fully immersive VR, but no other companies had produced technology that advanced. I wondered if I was a special case or if they were really that far along.

I stepped into the center and greeted the guard. Quickly pulling up a status window, I noted that I had 0 affinity with the guard, or in other words I was neutral with him.

“Greetings Salford!” I yelled, already getting used to being able to speak freely. “How are you doing today?”

The man jumped back, obviously startled because no other players were in the training area. Most people didn’t play hardcore anymore because regular mode had become easier and easier. Most people could learn a few skills form the trainers and have a class in only a couple of hours. I liked the challenge of hardcore mode and it usually meant that you could get your hands on better classes.

“Uh, hello Adventurer. Sorry, you caught me off guard. What can I do for you today?”

“Ah, you might not remember me, but years back I spent a great deal of time here in a past life.”

“What’s the name?” He asked as his shoulders relaxed and his sword lowered. He wore steel armor from head to toe and the only uncovered spot was his face. He had tufts of hair peeking out of his helmet and bold blue eyes.

“Kyogos. Does it ring a bell?”

“Ah yes of course! I have heard your name come up many times since we first met. Not a lot of the Adventure’s seem to like you though. Any idea why that is?”

The NPC seemed to retain a lot more information than I would have expected. I began to question how limiting my years of playing on the computer were. “Well, that might have had to do with me hunting down the worst of them in the most degrading ways I could imagine,” I answered and then shot him a twisted smirk.

“Well, uh, yeah that explains it. I never had a problem with you though.

A notification went off so I pulled it up. Having remembered you, Salford will now trust you and is more likely to offer you greater assistance than other adventurers. Affinity with Salford: Friendly 4,500/6,000.

Ah, so the bastard did like me, huh? I thought. Then again, he did get to beat on me for free, so I was glad that it meant something.

“To be honest, it was quite fun beating you up over and over again.” the guard said cheerfully. “You ready to go again? I just found out my wife has been cheating with a prince.” Salford stepped back, raised his sword and feinted slashing at me.

I attempted to avoid the blow out of habit and he stopped right before the blade would have split my neck in half. Not having thought about it, I focused on the guard and information appeared over his head.

Salford The Training Grounds Guard Level 100 Item Quality: Average.

“No wonder you were able to beat the snot out of me old Sal!” As I said Sal’s name, I realized that he was the one that Billy was talking about. “Oh, hey. Sal?”

The guard looked up, still laughing. “Yeah, what’s up?” Honest curiosity washed over his face.

“You know Billy the Adventurer's guide, right?”

Sal’s eyebrows raised and his eyes grew wide. “Uh… Yeah, why? Do you?” He seemed more afraid than I’d thought anyone would be of an old man who dressed like he was going to an underground disco party.

“Oh, well, he thought you were trying to prank him by using me in some way. For a second he didn’t believe it was me.”

“Oh, no, no I wouldn’t do that, definitely not.” he said, calming down a bit, but still on edge. “Why, does he still think that?”

“No, not at all. I'm living proof that you didn’t. There’s a signed document with my name, password, and pin that guarantees that. I just want my stuff back and he made me broker a deal with him that I can’t exactly fulfill.”

Sal nodded, which I took to mean to continue on. “The problem is that he wants me to get a date with the Bensley twins, but when I asked I got smacked harder than an angry momma demon and then found out that she is engaged to Prince Luke.” Sal’s eyes popped open even wider as I finished speaking; his jaw even flopped open wide enough that a fish could have fit right in it.

“That’s the bloody fricken prince my wife is sleeping with!” yelled the enraged guard. “Let me tell you all about it.

***

“So he wrote her a letter and left it under her pillow and you somehow happened to find it because you were fluffing the pillows?”

“Yes, exactly!” Sal yelled back, clearly happy I was on the same page.

“Okay, okay. What I don’t get is why he wrote a letter in the first place. Like, he was going to get away scot-free and yet he left behind evidence with his signature on it?”

“I don’t know lad. What can I say? The damn guy is next in line to be king and he thinks he can do whatever he wants without suffering any consequences.”

I got notified by the usual beep that I had a new notification. I pulled up the window and saw that my quest was updated.

Billy’s Bargain

Salford the training guard has informed you that his wife is sleeping with Prince Luke, Princess Alana’s brother!. This information might be useful in securing a date with Tylia and her sister Beth. Good luck!

Sweet, at least there seems to be a way to get my stuff after all, I thought. I had almost forgotten it was a game; obviously there was going to be a solution, most quests did and if they didn’t they were time definitely dynamic quests. I pulled up the next notification.

Saving Sal

Your old time friend Sal found out that his wife is cheating on him with Prince Luke. Seeing as you are good friends and you would benefit as well, you could help him be free of his wife, potentially allowing you to gain a traveling ally and other unknown rewards. Difficulty: medium. Good luck adventurer!

I envisioned accepting the quest and it was instantly added to my quest book. I closed the menus and grinned in excitement. Sal just sat there looking at me like I was mad or something. “It looks like we are on the same page buddy. We need to let off some steam and then brainstorm a way to solve both of our issues. Sound like a deal?”

Sal didn’t bother answering. He pulled a shield out of his sack, tossed it to me, and then charged. I didn’t even have time to re-learn the protect spell…