The next room was a long book-strewn corridor with more vending machines and another pair of bathrooms. At the far end was a pool with a bubbling fountain, large enough to swim laps in, headed by a stone statue of what looked vaguely like a Power Ranger with a triumphant fist raised to the ceiling. Along the sides of the room were two rows of doors. Three on the left were bolt-lined steel; the first was open, and he heard music coming out.

He made his way over. The floor inside was mostly clear of books, enough that he could see terracotta tiles underfoot. The music resolved itself into a catchy J-pop song. The walls were lined with pieces of electronics, dead insects, boxes of ramen, and plush dolls, all wrapped in plastic and dangling from hooks. At the far end was another doorway emanating a blue glow.

“Hello?” Roger called.

There was a rustle, and a young woman in mechanic overalls and a black-stained lab coat hurried out, pushing a pair of glasses onto her nose. Her hair was straight black and looked very Asian, but her eyes were green and the rest of her face looked more Caucasian. When she saw him, her eyes lit up and she smiled.

“Hey, how’s it going?” she asked.

“Hi,” Roger said, then, impulsively, “Quick, there’s a group of mercenaries coming.”

“What?!” said the girl. “Why?”

“They’re looking for the book of immortality. They haven’t shot anyone yet, that I know of, but if you want to lock them out, this is your only chance.”

It would be extremely inconvenient if she did, but he wasn’t about to let another innocent get captured by Michelle’s crew. The woman just snorted, though. “Oh great, another one. Well, I guess I’d better put the kettle on.”

“,” Roger said, having not expected that response. “Wait, so the book is real?”

“Sure,” she said, turning to lead him deeper into the vault. “It’s over-hyped, sure, but I can’t say it doesn’t work. So what about you? Are you friends with them, or running from them or what? I’m Sue, by the way.”

“Roger. Pleased to meet you.”

She turned to flash him a grin over her shoulder but didn’t break stride.

“And I’m nobody, I just happened to be going in the same direction. I just want to get out of here; I’ve been wandering lost for ages. There’s another girl with them who’s a tourist who’s also pretty lost.”

She nodded. “Yeah, it took me forever to find my way around.”

She descended a ladder set into a pipe. It opened into a cavernous, circular concrete room filled with computers, glass cylinders full of what looked like giant foetuses in soup, random bits of machinery, and yet more books. Three drone guns sat in corners of the ceiling. In one corner was a little kitchen, with a sink, stove, cupboards, fridge, microwave, and an electric kettle. She made her way over, filled the kettle with water, and set it to boil.

“What’s all this?” he asked, looking around.

“My workshop. This Library has every book ever written in any dimension, somewhere. In other words, if you know where to look and how to read it, you have access to the sum total of all human knowledge. See the lights? At first I thought they used LED technology, and it is similar, both use a quantum mechanical thing, but these lights are different. More efficient, and they never burn out, as far as I can tell. I don’t really get quantum, though.” She waved at a glass tube in one corner, filled with a pinkish liquid and what looked like a bundle of human arms. “I’ve been trying my hand at bioengineering. I’m already decades ahead of anyone back home. I’ve got a killer manga collection too.”

“Back up a sec,” he said, “what do you mean, in any dimension?”

“How much do you remember?” she asked. “Of back home? Because in my world, there was nothing like” she waved expansively “this. What about you, did yours have this sort of cyborg tech?”

“You made the gatorcar, then? The S in SW stands for Sue?”

“Ah … yeah,” Sue said, scratching her head with embarrassment. “I was messing around, learning the tech, thought, what are two things I can splice together, picked the first that sprang to mind. Didn’t really think it through, wound up with an angry biomechanical abomination, wasn’t really sure what to do. It happens.”

“Really,” he said. “You might not want to say that to the others when they get here. How did you even get it out there? It’s too wide to fit through a door.”

“Yeah, that bit was tricky. He didn’t eat anyone, did he? Or, you know, run them over?”

“No, but he frightened them pretty badly. Did you not hear the gunfire earlier?” Roger asked, not concerned enough with the gatorcar to press his previous question.

“This place has the best sound insulation tech out of any universe.”

“So why does it have the least convenient layout of any?”

“I’d like to say it was intended to discourage idiots who were messing with things they didn’t understand,” Sue said, “but nah, the architect’s just an idiot.”

“You know her?”

Sue laughed again. The kettle dinged and began steaming; she set out cups and poured. “You could say that. Do you take yours with anything?” She added four lumps of sugar to hers, then stirred in milk and cream.

“Just milk, please. Does that mean you know the way outside?” He sipped the tea; it was strong and somehow sour, but the milk went with it nicely.

“Sure, but you don’t need to know her for that, you just need time and to be methodical about exploring. Give me a minute and I’ll print you a map.”

“You have one written in English? Oh thank you so much, I’ve been looking for one of those for ages.”

“Not a problem. I guess I could charge for it? Eh, who can be bothered, and it’s not like there’s anything I could do with money in the Library anyway.”

He looked up at the drone guns. “So I guess you’re the one who disabled the drone guns?”

“Hm?” She followed his gaze. “Oh, right. I call them Spray ‘n Prays. It was actually my old partner; he was better with digitals than me. I think you’d’ve liked him.”

There was a call of “Hello?” from upstairs.

“Your friends?” she asked.

“I don’t think that word means what you think it means,” he said, “but yeah, that sounded like Michelle.” He cupped his hands to his mouth. “Yeah, we’re down here!”

Three soldiers slid down the ladder, then Michelle, Aaron, and Jill, then the last three soldiers.

“Guys, this is Sue; she’s agreed to help,” Roger said. “Sue, this is Jill, Mich–”

“We’ve met,” Sue interrupted.

“… We have?” Michelle asked, nonplussed. “Where?”

Sue rolled her eyes. “Jeez, am I really that forgettable? Well, whatever, do you want some tea?”

“Tea,” Michelle said.

“Yeah, you know, the hot stuff you drink?”

“I know what tea is, it’s just completely not related to what we were talking about or what we’re here for.”

“Yes please,” Jill said to Sue. “What is that, assam? Milk and two sugars, if you have it.”

“Do you only exist to annoy me?” Michelle asked Jill.

“You’re the one who begged to follow me,” Jill said.

“You know, if she knows where the book is, there’s nothing to stop me from shooting you now.”

“Couple of things,” Sue said, handing Jill a cup. “One, don’t shoot anyone. I won’t help you if you do. Two, you know how in movies they always say not to shoot in an aeroplane or submarine? Because, I mean aside from all the usual reasons why you shouldn’t be shooting there, or anywhere really, if a bullet goes through the hull, it’ll depressurise and everyone will die?”

“This is a vault,” Aaron said. “It isn’t pressurised.”

“You’re not wrong,” said Sue, “but one of the tanks in here is compressed chlorine trifluoride, so for all intents and purposes …”

“Should that mean anything to any of us?” Aaron asked.

Sue looked to Jill, who said, “Let me put it this way. If you do shoot, I hope you hit me rather than miss and rupture the tank: I’d have a better chance of surviving. Sue, why do you have chlorine trifluoride?”

“Keeping my clean room clean. I’ve had to fabricate a lot of this gear myself.”

Jill raised her eyebrows. “You built a clean room single-handed?”

“Who said anything about that? There are plenty of people around the place. I rope them in to helping sometimes.”

“What do you mean, plenty?” Roger asked. “Aside from these guys, we’ve barely seen anyone.”

Sue frowned. “That’s … Are you sure? There are at least twenty just in this area, and they were around just yesterday. I hope they didn’t just run off without telling me.”

“Eyes on the prize,” Michelle said. “The book of immortality. Do you know where it is?”

Sue nodded. “You’re the one who’s looking for it? Figures. Yeah, I know where it is, but first, are you sure you want it?”

Michelle gave her an unimpressed look. “Are you going to hit me with that old spiel about humans needing death?”

Sue shrugged whatever. “Nah, I’m with you on that one. Dying sucks pretty hard. The question is, how hard does it suck for you? Can you quantify its exact suckitude? Does it suck so hard that you’d do anything to avoid it?”

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Well, yes, but you have a mental image that isn’t –”

There was a burst of static and a PA began speaking in the voice of the old hunchbacked man from the altar room. “Attention, please. There’s just been a fault detected in the Library fire suppression system,” he said matter-of-factly. “Could a mechanic please report to Engineering when you can, repeat, could a mechanic please report to Engineering when you can. Thank you.” It clicked off.

“Does that sort of thing happen often?” Jill asked Sue.

Sue frowned, uneasy. “No. I guess it’s not the first maintenance problem, but I’ve never heard anyone else use the PA before. I … really get the feeling I should go there and fix whatever it is.”

“Not happening,” Michelle said, motioning a soldier to train his gun on Sue. “We’ve wasted enough time blundering around blind; I’m not going to spend hours on a detour to fix a building I’m never coming back to. Besides, if there are so many others around, one of them can see to it.”

“I really think this is a bad idea,” Sue said.

Michelle folded her arms. “I really don’t care.”

Sue hesitated, looking at the gun. “You’re not the only one who likes being alive. Why d’you think this place is so empty? Why isn’t it overflowing with immortals?”

“Whichever idiot keeps letting gatorcars loose probably has something to do with it,” Jill noted, looking at the foetus tanks and probably making an educated guess.

“The gatorcar isn’t important,” Sue said quickly, “but think about it. A treasure that gives eternal life? You’re not the first to think of questing for that, and you wouldn’t be the first to think of bringing it back home, copying it, and selling it for top dollar. So why do you think nobody’s ever done it?”

“Why don’t you just tell me instead of answering my questions with more questions?”

“She asked,” Jill said softly.

“Because I don’t want to,” Sue said bluntly. “You seriously get under my skin sometimes, and you’re even worse to my friends. Because an old woman who’s much nicer than you asked me not to talk about it. Because if you think about something for a minute, instead of just bulling through with your looks and money, you might improve as a person. Lots of reasons, really.”

“What’s this about an old woman?” Roger asked.

Sue shrugged. “Someone I met earlier, a local. I didn’t catch her name.”

“We met someone who wanted to talk to her a while back.”

“Last I saw her, she was hanging out near the exit, so you’ll probably bump into her when you go there. But if you want to be sure, I also have a line to the PA system; I managed to hack it from here. Do you want to broadcast a message?” Sue offered.

“You did? That’s great! Please and thank you.”

She went back over to her computer and typed for a minute; a printer half-buried under a pile of paperbacks hummed and spat out paper. “That’s two copies of the map, with the best routes marked for the exit and the immortality repo.” She hit some more keys. “And that’s loaded the PA. Roger?”

“You’re just giving me a map?” Michelle asked. “How do I know it’s accurate?”

“Because … normal people have better things to do with their time than draw up fake maps in advance to foist off onto visitors who may or may not ever come?”

“I meant, how do I know this doesn’t lead into some deathtrap or dead end like the boiler room.”

Roger ignored them and went over to the computer. The interface was familiar, easy, written in English instead of whatever the official computers had. Even the keyboard was a qwerty. He hit the GO button.

“Attention please,” he said. “Could Charlotte Abercrombie please go to the bottomless pit room, repeat, could Charlotte Abercrombie please go to the bottomless pit room? Or if you’re not sure what I’m talking about, just stay where you are, and I’ll come and find you.”

“That’s an interesting name,” Jill said.

“He told it to us, remember?”

“I was there,” she said, managing to sound sarcastic and offended. “I just think it’s an interesting mixture of names. Something French with something Scottish, don’t you think there’s a story there?”

“Look,” Sue was wearily saying to Michelle, “if you don’t want my help, don’t ask for it. I’m not stopping you from searching on your own.”

“I don’t want to wander this stupid place for the rest of my life,” Michelle said in her most patronising voice. “I want a guide who knows it already, and I want them to come with me so I know for sure that I’m going to the right place.”

“You sure have a knack for teaming up with people who don’t like you,” Jill said.

“Do you have anything useful to add?” Michelle asked.

“,” said Jill.

“I definitely don’t,” Roger said, “so would either of you mind if I left? I’ve been here long enough.”

He and Jill looked to Michelle. “I don’t need either of you if I have her,” she said, indicating Sue.

“Come back and visit later?” Sue asked.

“Uh, sure,” he lied. “Jill?”

“I think I’d like that. Thank you.” She fetched their map from the printer, checked it, and did a double-take. “Uh, Sue? This goes through an elevator.”

“Oh you are joking,” Michelle said.

“It’s fine,” Sue said.

“No it’s not,” Roger and Aaron said together.

“That elevator is fine,” Sue repeated. “Most elevators have interconnected shafts, so that if one goes down, they can cycle in another car, fix or replace the broken one, and put it back in, all without anyone being stuck anywhere, see? But that means you can bring down the entire network with a single … well, yeah. But that one shaft is isolated, I guess as a defensive mechanism against attack from the outside. I can one one hundred percent guarantee that it’s safe to use.”

Roger and Jill exchanged glances.

“If it’s not safe,” he said, “that pretty much rules out us coming back and visiting.”

“I won’t hold it against you,” Sue said. “I guess I’ll see you in a while?”

“Okay. See you later.”