Avaria panicked and snapped her eyes open as she woke from the cold darkness, feeling a clot of blood in her throat suffocate her. She coughed violently, falling off of Merrick’s shoulder and hitting the ground, feeling the pain return. Merrick picked her back up, his arm even darker than before. “Come on, just a little further.”

“What did I do?” She looked up to him and whispered under her breath. “I killed somebody, didn’t I?”

She tried to recall what her last memory was, only remembering the bewitching pull of the ether, a pull which was still present. She looked over, seeing a warm blue glow hitting the ground. Her mind started to go blank as she felt herself drifting. Pain in her back built up as she tore herself from Merrick's arms. The wings came back out, bursting from her skin once again. She fought to keep herself from losing control over her body, focusing on Merrick’s voice.

“Just a bit more.”

He lent her a hand, but she shook her head and got up herself, holding her arms close. She stumbled towards the blue light in front of her, feeling it gently wash over her. Slowly staggering, she collapsed to her knees beside a pillar. She supported her body with one hand, resting her legs on top of one another. In front of her hovered a giant crystal, not like the grotesque blackened ones in her back, but a pristine blue gem, elegant and gentle. The edges of it were held by intricate metal structures which swayed across the room. She reached her hand out, feeling a warmth flow through her body. She took a breath, finally not feeling claws within her throat. Her vision cleared as she stared at the light, seeing blue tendrils move into her fingertips. It looked so beautiful, so familiar. She lowered her hand and looked over to Merrick. “What is this?”

“The central crystal, now come on, we’re moving.” He started to turn, but stopped as he saw her stirring in place. “Avaria?”

“Merrick, why do I feel like I recognize this all?”

He grimaced and turned away as she continued. “Back in those gardens, back in that forest… and… the girl. Who was she?”

“We need to go.” He moved closer to her while avoiding her gaze. She shook her head as she felt the wings disappear into ethereal purple streaks which floated into the air. “I can’t, this is too much for me to ignore.”

He grit his teeth and shook his head. “You’re better off not knowing.”

“So it was then, this is part of my past.”

“Avaria-”

“Who were they!? What is this place!?”

“You don’t-”

“That girl, why did she look so familiar, why do I feel like this?” She got to her feet and grabbed onto his arm as he walked away from her. “Merrick, please.”

He stopped and let out a frustrated sigh, ripping his arm away. “You have no idea what you’re asking for-”

“That’s the problem!-”

“-and you don’t know what it’s going to do to you.” His eyes burned into her as she pleaded. “I can’t pretend like it’s nothing-”

“You don’t have to, just move forward.”

“I’ve been looking away for so long-”

“So have I,” His breath shook. “And that girl isn’t dead is because I was watching for you, so-”

“Why can’t I know?-”

“That’s not your life anymore.” He turned away again as she followed him, done with remaining calm. “That’s not for YOU to decide!”

He stopped and tilted his head upwards, his back still turned to her as she kept going. “You care, I know, but that life was still mine.” She tried to move in front of him but he started to briskly walk again. “Merrick, it’s not up to you to keep this from me.” He started to walk faster as she chased him. “Merrick!-”

“SHE’S YOUR DAUGHTER!” He roared and spun around, infuriated.

The room echoed with his words. The air died as she took another moment to process his words, shifting her foot back. Merrick placed a hand to his forehead, lowering his voice. “Her name is Felicia, she’s your daughter Avaria, you were taken from her just over three years ago.”

She slowly put her hands to her mouth and whispered to herself. “And I almost killed her.”

He nodded as she took a moment, feeling her heart pulse frantically. “She… all these years… oh god, I have a daughter.” It made so much sense, her eyes, her hair, it looked so familiar, but she never thought it was because of herself. She stopped suddenly, slowly speaking under her breath. “Who did I kill?”

He shook his head and looked away. “I don’t know.”

“Does she know that…?”

“I don’t know, she probably thought you were dead, but…”

“But what?”

“She knows you're alive now.”

Avaria quickly shook her head and started to move forward. “I-I need to see her.”

“They’re going to kill you.”

“I don’t care-” She felt his hand grab tightly onto her shoulder and pull her back, hissing. “This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you.” He put both of his hands on her arms. “I won’t let you do this to yourself.”

“It’s my life-”

“No, it’s not anymore, you aren’t who you were-”

“How do you know?” She broke away from his hands and stared into his eyes. “You knew who I was before, so who was I to you back then?”

“Avaria-”

“What else are you hiding?” Her hands trembled as she tried to look at him clearly. He struggled to maintain her gaze and let out a heavy sigh. “I…”

She patiently waited for him to continue, watching the emotions crawl across his face. He tried to get his words out but failed to manage a sentence. She sighed, making her tone gentler. “I need to know Merrick.”

“... You used to be a scholar and researcher in the city, and you used to go out to help struggling towns with agriculture and heal their townsfolk and… you had a lot of ether. Tylocke saw that.”

She took a moment to think over the implications of his words. He closed his eyes and shook his head, clenching his hand around the handle of his sword. “He and Haureulman, they hired me for a job, and they gave me a lot.”

“... You kidnapped me.” She looked into his eyes, hurt. He nodded slowly. “Yes, and I handed you over to them.”

“But why did you betray them?”

“I…” He stuttered and put a hand to his forehead, almost turned around in order to avert his eyes. She moved closer to him, reaching her hand out to his. “You felt guilty, right?”

He backed away from her hand and shook his head. She kept moving forward, trying not to cry. “Merrick, I’m sorry.”

“W-what?”

“You were as confused as me, r-right?” She slowly grabbed his hand and held it loosely. “You couldn’t have known or understood, but…”

He removed his hand from hers, shaking his head. “You shouldn’t be apologizing, you shouldn’t be justifying what I did.”

“I’m not justifying anything. I’m trying to forgive you.” He hid his face from her again as she finished her sentence. The crystal’s light hit his blackened arm as she tried to get closer to him. “You were taught to not feel, but the you I’m with right now feels a lot more than you would admit yourself, and I…” She wiped her eyes from the tears. “I want to forgive you, so badly.” She gripped her arm and looked down. “But I’m going to need some time Merrick.”

“Avaria-”

“You took me from her, you took her away from me. I know how it feels now Merrick, and I can’t ignore that.” She closed her eyes as her tears rolled down her cheeks, dropping onto her bloodstained shirt. “I can’t.” They stood in silence, bathed under the blue glow from the crystal. She reached her hands to her chest, feeling her heart slam against her ribs as her body shook. “I’m a mother, how could you have not told me? What has she gone through because of me?”

He slowly nodded, keeping his mouth closed. Avaria walked forward and past him, wiping her face again. “I-I need to see her.” She heard soft footsteps follow behind her and quickly turned around, staring him in the eye. “Don’t, please.”

“... I won’t let them hurt you.”

She shook her head and spoke with a broken voice. “You’ve hurt me more than they could.” She turned away before she could see his expression and picked up her pace, not apologizing as she left him behind.

~

Avaria’s breath shook as she maintained a brisk walk, trying not to think too much. Her heart raced as the air blew against her blood stained skin. The shirt she was wearing was in tatters with the amount of rips and cuts on it, and it was no longer white. She slowed her steps as the room opened to a corridor. In the middle of it sat a man in black plate armour with a poleaxe on his arm. She stopped moving and started to take a step back. His helmet shifted up to her as he leaned his elbows on his knees. “... Go.”

“W-what?”

“I said go.” He didn’t move from his spot and remained on the broken pillar he was sitting on. She slowly stepped towards him, keeping her hands at her sides. “Haureulman?”

“What.”

She remained a good distance away from him, keeping his gaze. “Why are you-”

“Do you want me to kill you instead?” His voice was the usual growl, but everything was different about him.

“... You don’t want to?”

He turned his gaze downward and sighed. “I’ve already told you, I never wanted to. I did what was necessary.”

Avaria slowly moved closer, causing him to shoot a glance upward. “You-”

“Why was this a necessary step?”

He stared at her as she kept moving closer, but didn’t move for his poleaxe. “... The crystal, the one you just came from. It’s what Tylocke wanted.”

“Is it what you want?”

“Maybe, I don’t know.”

She stopped in front of him, watching him in sad wonder. Slowly moving forward, she took a seat on a piece of rubble opposite to him. They were close enough that he could easily reach out and grab her if he wanted, but he remained still. “Why are you still here? Shouldn’t you be searching for him?”

“I… No.”

Even through the helmet, she could see Haureulman’s surprise. “Had enough of him?”

“I’m not sure.”

Haureulman let out a low chuckle and nodded while looking down. “I’m not a replacement for him.”

“I’m not-”

“It was a joke.”

She looked up with a mixture of shock and embarrassment. “...You aren’t going to go to the crystal?”

“Would you try to stop me if I did?” He tilted his head before answering it himself. “Nevermind.”

Avaria shifted and crossed her legs, placing her hands on top of them. “You were after the soldiers, weren’t you?”

He nodded and looked away.

“T-they can’t all be-”

“I know, but the ones who aren’t die. The rest are brainwashed.”

She took a second to look at him. “... What happened?”

“The only piece of good that was left is gone, don’t get involved unless you want to suffer more.”

Avaria looked at him and struggled to find her words. “There’s a girl in the group, she… I… Her name is Felicia, and… she’s my daughter.”

Haureulman looked up for a moment. “Yeah, I figured.”

“You can’t say-”

“That she deserves to die? That she’s evil? I’m not saying that, but that girl is a weapon who’ll be used by the city. She already is.”

“I won’t let that happen.”

“How? They’ll kill you and you won’t kill them.”

“They have to listen.”

“They never do.” He stared at her and sighed, looking to his hands. “The last person who would have listened to you is dead, presumably to protect the girl.”

“... You knew them?”

“... Yeah. I did.”

They sat in silence, the air circling around them. Avaria shifted forward, reaching her hands out toward Haureulman’s helmet. He jolted back, but didn’t reach for his weapon. She continued moving, her hands unbuckling the straps. The metal was heavy as she lifted it off, revealing snow white hair and orange eyes. He looked at her, their eyes meeting face to face for the first time. Avaria weakly smiled and stared at him. “I always knew there was somebody under all the armour.”

“It’s not time to get sentimental.”

“You’ve seen me enough, you know better than that.”

He smirked and turned his face away, his pale skin crawling with black and purple veins. “Maybe.”

She placed the helmet on the ground and fiddled with her hands. “I never hated you, I hope you know that.”

“It pisses me off.”

“Huh?”

“That you’re able to stay so detached.”

“When you’ve died as much as I have, things start to shift.”

He glanced back at her and nodded. “... I can’t apologize.”

“I know, I knew that from the start.”

“Be honest, you wanted me to die.”

She contemplated it for a moment, tilting her head to the side. “Maybe, but I never held onto it. Hate just destroys.”

He shook his head, grumbling. “Why did you have to be so pure-hearted?”

“It’s just how I am.”

“You’re just going to die again and again.”

“What else is new?” She smiled a little, but wasn’t able to maintain it for more than a second. “...Haureulman, I need to save my daughter.”

“I know.”

“I can’t let her be hurt more than she has been, and…”

“You don’t want me hurting her.”

“Yes.”

He breathed a sigh and closed his eyes, slowly nodding. “Maybe you’re right, that the hate is destroying me, but I can’t stop now.”

“Do you hate me?”

He flicked his eyes over to her and grimaced. “... No.”

“Then can you spare her?”

“Not if she’s part of the city.”

“Is it the city or the people that you hate?”

“... I don’t know at this point.”

“Can you give me a chance to reach her?”

“And do what?”

She shrugged her shoulders and shifted as the wind blew through the sunken corridor. “I don’t know.”

Haureulman leaned back and looked up with a long exhale. “Fine. I’ll give you a chance.” He motioned to the end of the corridor. “Merrick probably wants to see you, he’s been watching for a minute. I’m surprised he hasn’t attacked me already.”

“I… can’t talk to him right now.”

Haureulman raised an eyebrow. “Finally given up on him?”

“Never.”

He chuckled and got up from his seat, grabbing his helmet and moving toward the central crystal. “You never change, do you?”

She got up before he left, calling out. “Haureulman, I-”

“Huh?”

“I… I’m sorry things ended up like this.”

“I’m not somebody who you would ever get along with.”

“You never know until you try.”

“I’ve always been like this, don’t get hopeful.”

She sighed and looked to the floor. “A bit late for any of that anyways, right?”

He nodded and turned back around, his blackened steel disappearing into the shadows. Standing up straight, she continued her walk down the corridor, not looking back at the shadows looming behind.