6 years ago from present time

“Come on, it’s one day in a year, you can afford to relax.” Maria pleaded as she leaned forwards, a smile on her face as she grabbed onto Gawain’s hand. “Look, I’ll take the blame if somebody yells at us, okay?”

He shook his head, his short ash coloured hair reflecting the abnormally bright moonlight from above, and his sharp features extenuating his hesitation as his broad shoulders somehow seemed to shrink.

“I have training scheduled-”

“You always have training scheduled! Come on, it won’t kill you.”

He let out a sigh looking down at Maria’s smile with a small one of his own. She took that as a sign of resignation and pulled him along the long carpeted hallways, looking out at the starry night. Bouquets of flowers lined the exit as she stared up to the brightly lit canvas above her; the festival of light was always wondrous, and the gleaming stars were getting brighter already. A gust of wind blew through her hair as Maria pulled Gawain onto a raft. “Did you go to the lower level last year?”

“No, I haven’t since I enlisted.”

She sighed and leaned back on the railing, muttering loud enough for him to hear. “You have no life.”

“Oh come on, like you can talk.”

“What do you mean!? I’m not the one who lives in the armoury.”

“Nobody even knows where you are half the time!”

She smiled and shook her head. “Idiot.”

“Dumbass.”

Maria chuckled and Gawain shook his head with a grin as the raft neared the end of the river, the water lapping softly underneath. She grabbed onto his wrist and pulled him down the steps in front of her, making sure not to let him run off. She heard him sigh behind her as she waded through the crowds in front of her and towards a small bridge in front of them. It went downwards and connected to a large courtyard filled with flowers. Maria knelt down and picked one, examining the blue glow of the petals. She turned back to Gawain, holding it out. “You want a flower in your hair?”

“Isn’t it just supposed to be for the women?”

“Yep.”

“I’ll pass.”

Maria laughed and put the flower onto her ear, playfully walking to his side and presenting it. “How does it look?”

“Good, now where are we supposed to go?”

“You’re supposed to compliment me more, and besides, we don’t need to be anywhere.” She grabbed onto his hand and pulled him along as he looked at the flower again, the grey of his eyes matching his hair. “You know, people are going to get the wrong idea about us.”

“Who cares? They can think what they want.”

He stumbled as she led him through the flower lined gardens, the blossoms glowing with vibrant lights. It was amusing how out of place Gawain was, but it was also concerning how stiff he acted when around crowds. “Gawain?”

“Yes?”

“Relax.” She turned around, looking him in the eyes. “It’s a holiday, you’re allowed to have fun.”

“We’re still soldiers-”

“Yes, but we’re also human. Anyways, you don’t need to keep an image of perfection.”

He stared at her for a second before shaking his head, a small smile present on his face. “It’s not like I’m trying to not have fun.”

“So I’m being boring then?”

“Sure, let’s go with that.”

Maria punched him in the arm and grabbed onto his shoulder, pulling him towards the main street with a smile. The lanterns burned dimly in the night, illuminating the stone bricks underfoot. The sound of bustling crowds slowly became audible as they walked further along. She felt Gawain’s steps slow and tugged on his wrist harder. “Nobody’s going to notice us, come on.”

He paused for a moment before relenting to her. “Just don’t get us lost.”

“You sure? It’s more fun when you’re lost.”

He just raised his eyebrows and followed her into the busy crowds, moving closer to her so their arms wouldn’t be so outstretched. Maria gazed out into the crowds, viewing the multitude of faces in front of her, all of them bearing an expression of joy. She smiled as well, strolling through and looking at the stalls which were vending out all sorts of items, from sweets, to flowers, to cosmetic accessories. Maria squeezed to the side to let a child pass, their parents following closely behind, holding each other in their arms. She looked back at Gawain, smiling even more when she saw the look of reminiscent joy on his face.

She walked up to a stall with sugar coated candies, looking at the colourful crystalline structure of the sweets. She pointed at them and smiled at the vendor. “We’ll take two.”

The vendor handed two small crystals to Maria as she handed him a few coins. Gawain looked curiously at the candy as she placed it in his hand, his voice cautious as he spoke. “What is it?”

“Eat it and find out.” She bit into hers, the crystal breaking off easily into smaller bits which dissolved in her mouth, releasing a swell of sweetness. It was confusing why they didn’t make these year round, but the fact that she could only have one a year made them taste even better. Gawain bit down as well, his eyebrows raising as he tasted it. “That’s… really sweet.”

“Want another?”

He shrugged. “Sure, why not.”

Maria paid the vendor for two again and gave him another as they started to walk further down the street. She looked back at Gawain, making sure he was still there now that she wasn’t holding onto him. He looked at her, meeting her eyes. “Any other plans?”

“We’ll see where the crowd takes us.”

Gawain sighed and shook his head. “I see what Floyd was saying.”

“Hm?”

“Your plan never goes past five seconds in the future.”

She smirked as she brushed by a laughing group of men. “Sometimes it goes on for a bit longer.”

“Like when?”

“You’ll see.”

He narrowed his eyes, looking at her closely. “Are you saying-”

“Nope, not saying anything. Not at all.”

“You’re just trying to annoy me now.”

She snickered and motioned for him to go down a side street as she ate the candy in her hand. Maria looked upwards at the islands above them, the vines from the forest spilling downwards. Gawain glanced up as well, stretching his arms out. “Want to go up there?”

“Too crowded, you can’t see anything.” The wind blew softly as the sky became clearer, the deep blues swirling with light cyans. “It’s going to start soon, come on.” She moved forwards and into a small courtyard. Jogging to the side of a building, she grabbed onto a small wall in front of her, hoisting herself up and over. Gawain looked at her in confusion. “What are you-”

“Come on, hurry up.”

He took a second and smirked, shaking his head and following her. Maria moved along a narrow pathway and up a set of stairs, brushing her hand along the smooth stone wall beside her. The stairwell spiraled around and upwards, glimpses of the outside viewable from the small slits in the wall. She reached the top and turned around, waiting for Gawain to enter as well. He got up the last stair, looking around the room. There was a clear view upwards through a curved glass window on the wall with a couch and armchair in the corner of the room as well as a lamp on a small circular table. Gawain brushed his hand along the wall, looking around. “What is this?”

“Don’t know, just found it one day.”

He looked around, a small smirk on his face. “Is this where you disappear to?”

“Sometimes, most of the time I’m just walking around.” She flopped down on the chair, picking up a piece of paper on the table, examining the lines and looking up at Gawain.

“I got the cheeks wrong.”

“Hm?”

“Nevermind, don’t worry about it.” She placed the paper facedown and stretched her arms upwards. “So, what do you think? Better than the crowds?”

“I thought you liked the crowds.”

“Well, sometimes I do, sometimes I want to be alone. Besides, this was supposed to make you be more comfortable.”

He sat back on the couch, smirking. “Well, that was nice of you.”

He reached over to the paper on the table, picking it up. Maria tried to scramble for it but failed to reach it in time. He looked at it and raised his eyebrows. “Me?”

“Well, at least it’s recognizable, now give that back.” She reached for it, but he pulled it away, examining it further. “I think you got the cheeks correct, but the neck looks off.”

“Hey! Give it to me!” She snatched it away, keeping it close to her chest.

“That’s pretty good, I thought you only did flowers.”

“It was just practice-”

“Of me?”

“Yes! Obviously! I just know how you look more than anybody else.”

He laughed and leaned back, ruffling his hair. “Okay, okay, fair enough.”

He took a look at her as she took a cautious peek at the paper, his hands resting on the back of his head. “What is it about drawing that entertains you so much?”

“It’s not really too entertaining, it’s just something that can take my mind off of things.”

“So it’s more of a distraction?”

“Well no, it’s enjoyable to work on and get better, not just for the catharsis. ”

He nodded as the support beams above creaked. Maria stepped across the wooden floor, still holding onto the paper. “I first started because I wanted to make something that looked pretty rather than cutting something up, but I found that I just needed to keep a memory of something that already existed, not make something.” Gawain slowly nodded as she placed the paper down, looking out the window as the sky began to shift sporadically. “Just a few more minutes.”

Maria sat down beside Gawain, lacing her fingers and stretching them. She looked over to him, her eyes falling on the crest on the corner of his shirt. “It doesn’t feel like I’m a soldier.”

“Hm?”

“You know, just, being like this, not worrying, not thinking about…”

He nodded and breathed a long exhale. “Yeah, Indrid.”

Maria rubbed her eyes and leaned forwards. “She… was supposed to make it out.”

“We always are meant to make it out, that wasn’t on you.”

“But I could’ve done something, I didn’t think.”

“Maria, you couldn’t have known.”

She looked at him and put her hands to her forehead. “I’m sorry, we’re supposed to be happy right now.”

“Don’t apologize, it’s alright.”

Maria nodded and let her hand fall down onto her leg. “Thank you.”

“No problem.”

The air in the room went stagnant, the lanterns from the buildings glowing softly. Gawain tapped her shoulder, breaking the silence. “Your hair’s too long.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’ll get in the way during combat, you should cut it to regulations.”

“Oh shut up, you and your regulations.” She let a lock fall onto her hand as Gawain sighed. “If you don’t want to cut it you could braid it instead.”

“You could do that for me, just learn how to first.”

“I already have.”

“Since when?”

He looked over to her, a small smirk on his face. “My family runs a bakery.”

“What does that have to do with braids?”

“Braided bread.”

“Why would bread need to be braided?”

“I don’t know, it looks nice.”

She laughed and crossed her arms. “How about you make me some of that instead of fussing about my hair?”

“I don’t know if I can, the kitchen’s always busy.”

“You’ve helped the staff enough, just ask, I’m sure they’ll let you use it for a while.”

He shrugged and smiled. “Maybe, we’ll see.”

The night was quiet as they sat back on the couch, the small room filling with the distant sound of the breeze. Maria looked upwards, seeing the blossoming sky above them. Reds, greens, oranges, and purples mixed amongst each other, the light weaving like oil in water. She stood up, moving towards the window. Her hand touched the glass as her eyes stared into the boundless expanse above. Gawain moved beside her, staring upwards as well. “It’s beautiful.”

“See? I told you.” She looked towards him, moving her hand off the glass. “It’s better when you’re not alone, right?”

He stared at her, quickly averting his eyes after a second. She moved closer to him, causing him to take a step away. “Maria, people will get the wrong idea-”

“Nobody’s going to see us up here.” She moved closer. “Besides, is this really wrong?” He didn’t say anything as she touched a hand to his shoulder, her voice quiet in his ear. “Because I don’t want it to be.”

He laid his hands to her arms as she shifted her hand onto the back of his head, pulling him closer under the collage of light above them. Her lips met his as she moved her body against him, the warmth of his skin touching hers. His arm wrapped around her waist as she gripped onto his head. They parted for a quick moment before kissing again, holding onto each other as she pushed into him. She pulled back, her breath heavy. “Gawain…”

He looked into her eyes as her lips stayed parted. She grabbed onto him and pushed him into the wall, her hands moving under his shirt as she moved into him. He undid the buttons on her shirt as she removed his, her hands grabbing onto his bare skin.

Stay with me.

He turned her around and she felt her back hit the wall as the light from outside moved like a living painting, the beautiful patterns changing every second. A quiet gasp escaped her mouth as she arched her back, keeping her hand on the back of his head as his lips met her neck. She closed her eyes, letting him hold onto her.

I love you.

3 years later

Maria hugged Gawain as they lay beside each other on her bed, keeping each other in their arms. She moved her hand down his chest and smiled with drooping eyelids. “We still have time.”

“Yeah, but we’d rather be early than late.”

She pulled him closer in response, kissing him and running her hand through his hair. He chuckled and moved his hand around her waist. “Okay, fine, just a few more minutes.”

He held onto her body, keeping her close. The comforting warmth of his arms wrapped around her back as a breeze swept through her room’s open window. She let out a sigh as the wind whistled in the air. “Gawain, I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Hm?”

“The assignment I mean.”

He nodded and let her curl up close to him. “Would they let you stay?”

“Probably not.”

She pulled his shoulder enough to have his body half on top of hers. Her voice was a whisper of quiet remorse. “I killed a child Gawain.”

The papers on her desk rattled as he put his hand behind her head. “That wasn’t your fault.”

“I killed them, I did it myself. How is that not my fault?”

“You were protecting others.”

“We’re supposed to be protecting them, not ourselves. He couldn’t have been older than 15.” She grabbed him tightly, resting her head on his shoulder. “Why do they deserve to die? Why not me?”

“Maria-”

“What have I done to deserve to live?”

Gawain put his hand on her cheek, looking her in the eyes. “Maria, you’re a good person. The fact that you think you’re questioning this tells me you’re better than most people out there.” He touched his forehead to hers and stroked her hair out of her face. “I’ll be here with you the whole way.”

“That’s what Eric said.”

“You can’t blame yourself for every death.”

“I rushed in, I left him unprotected.”

Gawain shook his head as she let her tears fall onto the bed. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

“But what am I supposed to do?”

He paused for a moment. “Why don’t we leave? After we’re done with the assignment today I mean.”

“What?”

“You know, get a place in the lower levels, maybe even outside the city.”

“They wouldn’t let us.”

“Sure they would, we’ve been here long enough.”

She pulled him closer, letting her mind fantasize about the thought. It couldn’t be too hard to get a room, some place to stay. They could work in a store, or maybe in the fields, or even in one of the libraries which they frequently visited. “I… I would want that.”

He nodded and held her close. “Just make it through today, take it easy.”

She slowly gripped onto his shoulder before leaning upwards, interlacing her fingers with his. Gawain traced the scar on her cheek with his thumb and squeezed her hand. “Will you be okay? You didn’t get much sleep.”

“I’ll be fine, just give me a bit.” Maria swung her legs off the bed and rubbed her eyes, attempting to get rid of the bleariness. She smiled as Gawain stretched his arms upwards with a small grunt, his face lit by the sun. Her room was quiet as the curtains slowly drifted from the open window. She pulled her clothes on as she yawned and moved towards the door. Lightheadedness came in a wave, causing her to stumble. She caught herself on the wall, letting out a sigh as Gawain laid a hand on her back. “Hey, take your time.”

“I know, I know. Thanks.”

He moved ahead and opened the door for her, the light from the hallway blinding Maria as she exited her room. She suppressed a yawn and moved down the hall, looking back at Gawain as he stared downwards to the streets below. Her mind remained blank as their footsteps echoed in the empty corridor, the arched roof allowing the sound to reverberate down the length of it. After a few minutes of walking, they took a set of stairs downwards as muffled voices became audible.

The armoury doors stood open as Maria entered, listening to the meshed conversation from everyone inside. Floyd waved at her as he tinkered with a device on Aldrich who stood beside him, his helmet already on. Darren was sat beside Claire as they fit each other's armour with their spears laying on the wall behind them. Maria opened her cabinet and looked inside, pulling out her armour and putting it on. The breastplate fit on snugly as she grabbed her sword and paused, glancing down at it. Her hand ran over the dried blood stained on the sheathe and her breath caught for a moment as she realized it must’ve been Eric’s.

Maria sat down, her hands gripping tightly to the sword as she looked down at it. A hand touched to her shoulder, almost making her jump. She looked over to see Gawain who gave her a concerned look, his heater shield by his side. She shook her head with a smile and placed the sword down beside her. The distinct sound of metal shifting against itself sounded to her side as she turned to see a giant mass of plate mail. “Maria.”

“Haureulman.”

He leaned back as she picked up her sword and attached it to her belt. “I thought you wouldn’t show up.”

“I wouldn’t let you all leave without me.”

He smiled and nodded, his pure white hair falling over his light blue eyes. “I’m sure you would catch up if we did.”

He leaned back on the wall, his darkened steel armour gleaming under the ribbons of sunlight coming through the window. Maria examined it, noting the new dents and scratches on it. “It looks like you get even more every time I see you.”

“You could get a bit more you know.”

“I’d rather stay maneuverable, besides, I haven’t needed the armour yet.”

He smirked and shot a glance at her. “You saying I do?”

“Oh don’t start this again.”

He nodded and stood back up straight, his expression back to the usual frown. “We’ll be going in a few minutes.”

“What’s the assignment?”

He grimaced and turned away, flexing his fingers. “The usual.”

She watched him walk away, his movements swift. Haureulman had always been a soldier, even in the beginning. It was hard to connect the man he was to who he was now, not just because of the hair colour; ether had taken a toll on his body, but he kept going forwards. It was amazing really, more than she could ever hope to do. Her hand ran across the recently healed scar on her forearm, the skin still bearing a dark red line. She snapped out of her trance as Quill and Maurice walked into view, bantering with each other loudly. Maria smiled, at least some things didn’t change.

She got up from the bench and ran her hand along the wall, looking out the window and to the magnificent sunrise. Murmurs from the room over caught her attention as she slowly walked towards the sound.

“This isn’t right.”

“No, I’m sure, I saw it-”

“That’s not what I mean.”

She peeked around the corner to see Haureulman talking to Tylocke who stood in hs reconnaissance unit uniform, the navy blue cloak covering his light padded armour. She stepped out further, causing Haureulman’s view to snap to her. “Maria, you should gather the others, Duran is waiting.”

“What’s going on? I didn’t think we had more reconnaissance assigned to us.”

Tylocke looked over to her, his tired eyes flashing under the light. “Yes, well, it seems that the team assigned to you is lazy.”

“What do you mean?”

Haureulman stepped away, grabbing his poleaxe. “It doesn’t matter right now, we’ll see when we get there.”

Tylocke folded the map in his hand and stroked his unshaven face. “Haureulman, you have to believe me on this.”

“Yeah, I’ll keep it in mind.”

Maria followed Haureulman as he walked out of the armoury, looking up at his giant frame. She glanced around them as they continued moving down the hallways. “What was that?”

“Nothing, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Why was Tylocke directly reporting to you?”

“I asked him to.”

She shook her head as they went down the stairs. “You have that authority?”

“No, but he agreed.”

She mused about that to herself, she didn’t know Tylocke well, but he always seemed to have something to bring to the table. Half the time it wasn’t just information, he honestly could be a tactician. She kept seeing him around more and more, mainly with Haureulman. Maria sighed and looked away; delving into other’s business wasn’t polite. They reached the bottom of the stairs and she smiled as her eyes met Gawain’s and he walked up to her. She hesitated and reached out for him, looking around to see if anyone was watching. Grabbing onto his hand, she squeezed it tightly. “Stay close to me, alright?”

“Was planning on it anyway.”

She smiled and gave him a quick kiss before walking over to where everyone else was standing. The others talked with each other, checking their weapons and adjusting their armour. Gawain walked over to Quill and Darren and joined their conversation with Claire sitting closeby, her spear lying over her shoulder. Maria looked to her side to see Floyd staring at her, a raised eyebrow and a smirk on his face. “Things are going well?”

“Mmhm.”

He chuckled and rubbed his head. “You really aren’t trying to keep it subtle anymore, are you?”

“Well, not everybody knows yet, so at least it’s not completely blatant.”

“Yeah, but it wouldn’t be too hard to figure out if they looked at you two for a few seconds.”

She shrugged and sheepishly smiled. “What can I say? It’s nice to have him around.”

“You make that obvious enough, you two are cute together.”

“Cute?”

“Yeah, you act cutely.”

She laughed and shook her head. “I never thought I would be described like that.”

“It’s not a bad thing.”

“I know, but it’s still odd.”

He nodded and sighed. “I’m surprised nobody’s reprimanded you two, but it’s technically not against regulations, is it?”

“I haven’t checked.”

Floyd glanced over at her with the same smirk. “Yeah, I figured.”

Aldrich shifted in place, looking at her through his helmet’s visor. Maria waved to him with a small smile, trying not to flinch from the sunlight reflecting off his armour. She walked up to him, looking at his great sword which he held with both hands, it’s tip on the stone floor. “You’re coming along this time?”

He gave a small nod, barely moving. She turned around, looking over to Gawain as he stood at the side of the group in the middle of the courtyard. The stairs on all sides of them led up to bridges which went everywhere, the water in them glistening as it flowed. Maria walked across the floor, watching the trees sway in between the massive columns supporting the ceiling. Her eyes fell onto Gawain as he ruffled through his pocket. She approached him and looked at the small leather bound book in his hands, the edges of the cover slightly bent but the pages still crisp. He looked up to her as he opened the cover. “I’ll use it more, I promise.”

“Don’t push yourself, it was a gift, not an order.”

“I still feel obligated.”

She peeked over his hands, seeing only a few pages filled out. He closed it and looked down at the simple brown cover as he put it away. “You’re ready?”

“Hopefully, you?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

Haureulman walked forwards, his helmet in his hand and poleaxe in the other. Blue pieces of cloth drifted behind him as he moved to the middle, looking up at the stairs in front of him with focused eyes. Duran moved down the stairs, his pace quick as his tired eyes wavered between everyone on the ground floor. The greyed stubble on his chin caught the sun as he started to speak with his usual commanding tone. “Everyone, your attention.”

He stood up straight, folding his hands behind his back. “You will head out to Liskarm to wipe out the insurgent movement stirring there. All personnel in the town can be considered hostile, and all measures are permitted. Any questions?”

Haureulman stepped forwards. “What threat are they to us? From the information we received, they’re just a group of villagers without training. Have they really done enough to warrant annihilation protocols?”

“They injured our scouts, their intentions were clearly stated with that. Besides, they’ve had multiple chances to go a different direction, we’ve let them run loose long enough.”

Haureulman frowned and nodded, returning back to the group. Duran scanned everyone with furrowed eyebrows, his head held high. “March forward, bring the city victory. Good luck.”

Maria pulled her locket out, examining the crystal embedded into the back of it. Gawain raised his eyebrow and looked down to it, a small reassuring smile on his face. She nodded and traced her finger around the edge of the smooth metal, focusing on it. Gripping onto the locket, she looked up to Haureulman who put on his helmet and nodded to everyone. The dark metal reflected the light unevenly due to the textured battle scars it had.

Only Haureulman, Aldrich, and a few others wore the city's plate armour, the responsibility of it being both a privilege and a burden. They were bound by oath, sworn by blood to serve the city as unquestioning weapons until their deaths. Aldrich fit that role perfectly, but Haureulman was more tentative. Duran gave him a look, one of hesitation as he turned around and started to walk away, his dark blue cloak softly drifting behind him. Haureulman held onto a crystal in his hand, glancing around at everyone slowly grumbling to himself with a sigh. “Let’s get this over with.”

Maria stole one last gaze at Gawain before concentrating and closing her eyes, letting the light envelop her.

~

Nausea took over as the light disappeared, her head swimming as she forced herself to stay upright. Gawain chuckled and patted her on the shoulder as she shook her head. “I hate doing that.”

“You’d think you would be used to it by now.”

She sighed and raised her eyebrow at him as he took his hand off her shoulder, pulling the shield on his arm upwards. The grass around them was sparse, with stray bits littering the uneven dirt, barely even alive. Claire swept her hair out of her face, leaning her spear against her shoulder as the cold wind rushed into them. “Nobody’s here.”

She and Darren walked forwards on the path as Haureulman stood up straight, towering over the others. “Careful, we haven’t looked ahead yet.”

The group moved forwards along a barely visible path, with infrequent trees placed along the desolate landscape. Maria looked towards the town, catching sight of barely held up wooden walls and a broken gate. She narrowed her eyes, realizing the doors on the walls were open. They moved forwards cautiously, eyes scanning everything. The streets were empty, the buildings decrepit, the air stagnant. The footprints in the ground were faded, barely visible in the mud. Floyd twisted a dial on his arm, examining the broken buildings around them. It was a ghost town, or at least that’s what it felt like.

Maria carefully followed the footprints, the dirt distorting the shape of them. A large amount of them stemmed from a single area, a short building with small shut doors. She motioned to Haureulman who nodded and took the lead with Aldrich as he put his hand to the entrance. Maria followed close behind, Gawain moving in front of her and drawing his shortsword as he raised his shield. Haureulman kicked the doors open, the wood splintering as they violently swung inwards. The light from outside poured through, the dirt floors inside roughly casting shadows. Maria’s breath caught in her throat as she caught sight of a black mound in the middle of it.

She walked forwards, kneeling down and hesitantly looking at a charred hand. Her gaze shifted upwards to the pile of corpses, the mangled and burnt bodies contorting amongst each other, their faces in a frozen gaping scream. She scanned the hand by her feet, noting how small it was as she stood up, backing away while shaking her head. “Disease.”

Gawain nodded grimly. Her eyes staring at the blackened wood of the structure as they walked out of it. “What was this building?”

“... It looks like their grainery.”

Maria shot a glance at him, shaking her head as the desolate buildings sank into the mud around them. The villagers couldn’t have left this place, they wouldn’t make it to the next town over. Quill and Darren moved towards the town square, their weapons ready. Haureulman shook his head as he exited the building, muttering to himself. “He was right.”

“Sorry?”

“Be on guard.”

She nodded and gripped onto the handle of her sword, cautiously treading beside Gawain. The wind whistled as Maria took a deep inhale, scanning everything for irregularities. A small hiss slinked through the air, emanating from the well in the middle of town. Quill raised his sword, cautiously approaching the noise. Maria remained hesitant as Gawain raised his shield.

A sharp snap and a thundering roar of fire burst outwards, the shockwave from the blast sending Maria stumbling back and falling down. Her ears rang, the sky looking deathly pale above her. As the droning wail in her ears subsided, it was replaced by a chorus of roars. She quickly rolled backwards and onto her feet, hands on her sword as she scanned the burning air around her. Claire pushed past her, quickly scrambling to Darren’s side and checking his pulse. “Shit, shit, shit, hey come on, get up, get the hell up.”

Maria ran forwards, but was interrupted by an arrow landing near her feet, then a few more. The roofs on the buildings now had archers, their arrows clumsily whistling around them. Gawain grunted and blocked one, moving in front of Maria and grabbing onto Claire’s shoulder, pulling her back. Quakes from a horde of footsteps came from in front of them as a mob of bodies ran towards them. Haureulman pulled up his poleaxe and Aldrich stepped forwards, readying themselves.

Maria looked over to a body which must’ve been Quill’s, the features of his face burnt and bashed inwards. She didn’t get the chance to stare more as a woodcutter’s axe swung towards her shoulder. Instinctively, she ducked under it and slashed the attacker’s body. They slumped over, their dirtied and ripped clothing sprouting blood. She heard a cry of pain beside her as Maurice took a knife to the arm. He was surrounded, the mob messily surging towards him. A greatsword swung in front of her as Aldrich cleaved 3 people from the group into pieces. He moved with a precise tenacity, his sword twirling as if it were a knife.

She watched the fountain of blood spill out as she sliced her sword across the chest of a dagger wielding opponent, easily dodging their attacks. None of them had armour, and their weapons were either farming equipment or common self defence devices. She looked over once again to where Maurice was, only to see his trampled corpse covered in gore; however, most of the mess wasn’t his own. Aldrich stood above where there once was a mob, his armour glistening with a slick red sheen. Gawain pulled his sword out of the opponent and yelled above the roar. “There’s too many, this is more than we were told!”

Maria grunted as she plunged her sword into a man’s chest and felt his ribcage break under the stab. She pushed him off her sword, frantically looking around at the chaos. Aldrich shielded Floyd as he got up, holding his injured arm while Haureulman roared with a swing of his poleaxe. Claire struggled to remove her spear from the stomach of her opponent as more people advanced on her. Maria’s gaze was broken by an arrow whizzing by her face, barely missing her head. She turned around, quickly cutting the throat of a person dashing towards her. They fell to their knees as the crowd continued to roar. Haureulman and Aldrich were holding most of them off, but there were too many.

A sharp pain sprung through Maria’s leg, causing her to falter down to her knee. She turned around, raising her sword to strike only to be met by a small set of scared and tearful eyes. Her breath caught in her throat as she examined the child in front of her, an oversized axe in their small hands. Their face was dirtied, their hair matted in blood. They fell back on the ground, closing their eyes and letting go of the axe embedded into her thigh. A hand reached from the ground, clawing at her leg. She looked down at the frail hand which softly grasped at her, the skin pale and smooth. A young girl coughed up blood as a red mess gurgled from her throat. Her eyes were locked onto the child, her hand pleading as it trembled. The girl’s arm fell away as Maria’s breath shook.

“Oh god.”

She tried to stand, her leg springing with pain as the axe fell out of the wound. Her eyes darted to the bodies littering the ground; all of the faces were permeated with either rage, fear, or sadness. There were all sorts of people, young and old all around her, both alive and dead. They weren’t trained, they weren’t prepared, they weren’t ready to die. The tip of her sword hit the dirt as the slaughter continued. Darren’s body laid still, his eyes open wide and gazing into nothingness. A faint whistling came from above as long streaks flew through the air. Maria felt a hand push onto her and her vision was blocked by a blue cloak. Gawain grit his teeth and seethed in pain, holding his shield up as two arrows pierced his leg and side. “You good?”

His breathing was laboured as he knelt beside Maria, blood dripping down his forehead from a cut. She looked down to a wound in his stomach, the cloth ripped across the entire length of his body. He didn’t have his sword and had an arrow in his arm as well and the shield had multiple more embedded into it. She grabbed onto him as more hostiles emerged. “Gawain, you’re-”

“No time for that, come on.”

Haureulman slammed his poleaxe into the ground, growling to the group. “Get ready for transport.”

Claire pushed herself off her knees with the end of her spear. “What? We-”

“We’re leaving, now.”

She got up, clumsily moving towards the centre of the town as the next wave of the mob rushed in. “We need to bring back the bodies, they-”

An arrow pierced her throat, jutting out the other side as the rest of the volley fell into her chest and the ground beside her. Haureulman cursed, pulling out his crystal. Maria got up and attempted to run to her side, but only made it a few steps before she was stopped by the wound in her leg. She cried out, feeling pain shoot up her body as a group of men ran at her, weapons raised. An arrow flew over the crowd and into her shoulder, sending her stumbling to the ground. Gawain’s shield moved in front of her, blocking the blows from the men in front of them. She looked up to him as he grit his teeth in pain, holding onto her with an injured hand. “Sorry Maria.”

He grabbed onto the crystal around his neck, concentrating his energy. The sound of tearing flesh punctured the air out as he cried in agony, clutching onto Maria’s body. She looked down to see the tip of a knife protruding from his chest, the edge of the blade slick with his blood. “Gawain, stop, you’ll-”

He grabbed onto her tightly and whispered as a flash of light enveloped them. “It’ll be alright, I love you.”

~

Maria gasped as she opened her eyes, her head swimming from the transportation. She felt a weight fall off of her as the sound of metal hitting the floor echoed through the cavernous arched ceilings above. Blood coated her hands and chest. “Gawain-”

He slumped over on the floor and his head lethargically rested against the ground. Maria crawled over to his side, her breath shaking. “We made it, come on.”

She placed her hand onto the open wound in his chest, the knife now gone. She grabbed onto his shoulder, holding on tightly. He expended too much ether; the teleportation took a lot from him, and it wouldn’t be easy to heal. Her hand brushed his cheek, feeling no response. She grabbed onto the sides of his head, rolling his face upwards. His eyes stared blankly, his lips stayed parted.

“No, please.” Her choked breaths grew quicker as she held her hands as tightly as she could, unable to stop them from shaking. “Please Gawain, I can’t…”

Her words were a whisper as the wind blew softly over them. A familiar roar and an explosive smash sounded to her right as Haureulman slammed his poleaxe into a pillar, breaking the marble. Maria continued to hold onto Gawain, cradling his body. Her tears fell onto him as she kept trying to will him awake. “Please.”

Her vision blurred and the blood pooled onto the pristine floors, running underneath her already blood soaked sword.

I did this.

She let herself cry out to him, keeping him close.

It should’ve been me..

The sound of footsteps echoed as Duran’s voice sounded over the ringing in Maria’s ears. “What the hell-”

Haureulman roared at him, his voice like thunder.“YOU DID THIS!”

“Haurelman, calm-”

“YOU sent us into a town of refugees to FUCKING SLAUGHTER THEM!”

“What are you saying?-”

“Oh, I wasn’t supposed to know that, right?”

Another crack echoed sharply as he slammed his poleaxe into the ground. “What the hell were we there for?!”

“Stand down.”

“They were starving, we didn’t even need to kill them, they would’ve died within days-”

“I SAID STAND DOWN!”

Haureulman reared back and slammed his fist into the already damaged pillar beside him, storming away from the courtyard. The thuds of his boots hitting the ground echoed dully amongst Maria’s whimpers as she held onto Gawain. She continued to cry as Duran’s footsteps moved away and back up the stairs. Gawain felt so heavy in her arms, his unmoving body warm to the touch. “I’m sorry.” Her mind went blank, and all she could do was crumple inwards. “Gawain, I’m sorry.”

How many had they lost fighting civilians? How many families did she execute? Neither side was an army, neither side was prepared for a war. All she brought was more pain, more suffering. Gawain wouldn’t be like this if she wasn’t there, if she wasn’t so stupid. He would still be alive if she wasn’t.

Maria shook as she slowly put Gawain down, his eyes still unfocused and staring in empty solitude. There was nothing she could do, just as usual.

I’m sorry

Her hands landed onto her sword, the handle slippery from the mess on the floor. The blade felt heavy as she raised it. Still on her knees, she tilted her chin upwards, closing her eyes as she felt the steel meet her neck. This was selfish, but that didn’t matter. She heard quiet footsteps from behind her as she took a deep inhale inwards, her chest rattling. The pain from the blade pushing into her throat pulsed up to her head as she slowly started to pull downwards. Her hands gripped tightly as she forced herself to complete the movement, a white pain bursting from the wound. The blood from her own neck ran down the length of the blade and onto the floor, mixing with the already existing puddle. She pulled even further, feeling the sword run down her collarbone.

Her hands gave out as she tried to pull more, the blade clattering to the ground as she felt a warmth envelop her. She feebly grasped onto Gawain’s arm, his body still unmoving as vibrations from quickly moving footsteps neared her. Vision blurring and fading, Maria took a final look at Gawain before letting herself fall into the darkness.

I’ll be with you soon.

~

Birds chirped outside as sunlight streamed into the medical ward, the empty and dusty room quietly sitting in somber silence. Maria lay on a small white bed, opening her eyes and making sure for the fifth time she was still alive. It felt like a dream, like a nightmare she would wake up from. She was indeed awake, but not in the way she wanted to be. Ironic, the one person she failed to end up killing was herself.

The creak of a door echoed through the room as her unfocused gaze remained on the wooden supports above her. A chair skittered across the floor as Floyd sat down beside her with a new scar on the underside of his chin. He took a moment to look at her, his eyes deafened. “Hey, I…”

His words trailed off, the silence eerily drifting between them. He slowly pulled something out of his pocket, laying it on a table beside Maria’s bed. “I thought he would’ve wanted you to have that.”

She slowly turned her head to see Gawain’s journal, the one she gave to him, the one he promised to write in more. She turned away, fighting away the tears in her eyes. Floyd continued speaking in a quiet tone. “Haureulman, he… he’s gone now, along with Tylocke.”

He shifted his hands, interlacing his fingers as muffled sounds of birds chirping played in the distance. “They found contraband in Tylocke’s quarters, ether reaver chains, oni essence, research on dimensional warping. They think Haureulman was also involved, and… yeah.”

Maria nodded slowly, unsure if she was properly processing anything being said. She turned her head slowly, feeling the bandages on her neck twist. The medical ward was empty; usually people who got injured could heal themselves with ether or just died on the battlefield. Her voice was dry, almost a whisper. “Did you do that?”

Floyd glanced to his side, his eyes falling onto the window. A small metal bar sat in the middle of the frame, welding the two halves together. He returned his gaze to her, holding her stare for a second before facing downwards and placing a hand onto his forehead. “... Fucking hell Maria.”

They sat in silence in uncomfortable recognition. Floyd slowly stood up, moving his hand towards her, but he quickly stopped himself. He took one last look at her before moving away. “Get some rest, you have time off.”

The door creaked shut as he left the small and lonely room. Maria’s gaze fell onto the journal once again; the plain brown cover and white pages miraculously weren’t bloodied. She reached a shaking hand outwards, picking it up and pulling it close to her chest. With a trembling breath, she let the tears come out and closed her eyes. Her small and quiet wails of anguish filled the air, drowning under the whistling wind and chirping birds.