Felicia ran behind Ray as he moved through the streets, her heart racing with anxious anticipation. Her mind raced as she wasn’t sure what to think about, the imminent danger they were heading into, or the fact that Maria was fighting Sirius. Her breath quickened as she thought about the situation, there had to be a good outcome here. Was Maria going through with it? She wouldn’t, right? Sirius wouldn’t either, at least she thought he wouldn’t, despite what Ray would say. Ray was right about a lot of things, but not about Sirius, he couldn’t be right, but she wasn’t there to see it happen, so what did she know? Felicia rubbed her hands together as the narrow and crumbling street seemed to swallow the group.

They moved at a brisk jog, probably to let her keep up. She knew for a fact that Kashire could run faster, it was incredible really. Ray took a look around as the smoldering flames beside him blew dark smoke upwards. He slowed down as Kashire put a hand to his head. “What’s wrong?”

Kashire looked up and turned his head to face behind them. “Maria, something’s not right with her.”

Floyd came to a halt and turned around, pulling back a slide on his arm. “You go ahead, I’m going back.” Aldrich turned with him as Ray shook his head. “We need you for Tylocke and Haureulman-”

“And Maria needs us.”

“What-”

Floyd turned back, his eyes narrowed. “I’m not leaving her behind.”

Felicia hesitated as she stepped towards him, looking from him to Ray who grit his teeth. “We can’t just… dammit.”

He rushed after Floyd, pushing past Felicia as he ran. She startled and followed him, breath quickening. They only were gone for a couple of minutes, nothing big could’ve happened that fast. She stumbled over debris, catching herself before she fell. Kashire pulled her up by her shoulder as he moved past her. Her mind raced as they kept running, what did he mean ‘something’s not right’? The street seemed to go on for so long, the blackened stones encroaching on her as she tried to break free of them. The light of a still burning fire shone in the exit as they neared it, blinding her as she grew closer.

The light dissipated as they burst into the open air, the ash now settled on the ground. Felicia’s eyes darted around, scanning the area. They fell onto Floyd, who was kneeling down in the middle of the courtyard. She rushed forwards, preparing herself. Her footsteps came to a halt beside Maria’s side, the blood from a wound on her stomach soaking her clothes. Felicia quickly moved forwards, placing her hands onto the injury. She started to pour everything into her, the pain in her arms slowly accumulating. Floyd placed a hand on her shoulder. “Felicia-”

She shook her head and didn’t respond, attempting to push more ether out.

“Hey, you’re going to hurt yourself.”

Her breath became laboured as the pain grew unbearable, crawling up her hands and into her shoulders. The ether didn’t catch on and only spilled outwards. She cried out in pain and tried to keep her arms straight as the veins in her hands and vision blackened. She felt a hand pull her back sharply, breaking her concentration. Quickly spinning around, she instinctively pushed them away, the ether reacting to her commands with an outwards blast. Everything in front of her was pushed back violently. She doubled over from the pain, slowly realizing what she just did.

Oh god.

She struggled to get to her feet while everybody got up, Kashire letting out audible grunts of pain as he held his hand. Felicia looked back at Maria, seeing her still motionless body. Her hands trembled as she clasped them together tightly. She couldn’t do anything, she couldn’t ever do anything. She glanced at Ray as he stood to his feet, his eyes saddened. “Felicia... “

Her breath caught in her throat as she looked at her hands. She just hurt everyone. She couldn’t speak as she grabbed onto her chest, feeling the crystal around her neck. It wasn’t safe to be around them. The blood from Maria’s wound stained Felicia’s hands as she closed her eyes. She needed answers, something to tell her why Sirius did this, but more importantly get out of here before she hurt anyone else. The sound of footsteps quickly nearing her faded as a light enveloped her.

~

The blue glow faded from her eyes as the sound of everyone else disappeared. She looked around, finding familiar yet shattered buildings surrounding her. Her legs shook as she tried to balance her weight and fell back onto a wall. Her chest burned as she tried to breathe, realizing she was alone. She grabbed onto the stones beside her and stabilized herself, her heart beating against her ribcage. She shouldn’t have done that, any of that. She collapsed to the ground, unable to keep herself standing. Maria was dead.

She let out a muffled cry as she held her head, keeping her back pressed against the wall. She should’ve been there earlier, she could’ve saved her, she could’ve helped, she should’ve helped. What the hell was she here for? They could’ve done so much more without her, Maria would still be alive. Her vision blurred as she cried out again, hugging onto herself. The sound of wood snapping came from her right, causing her to scramble backwards. Her hand landed on her sword as she got to her feet, other hand holding onto herself. She shakily drew the blade out, her eyes darting to the figure before her as they spoke. “Felicia?”

She stopped moving as she recognized the voice. Sirius stepped towards her, his light brown hair shifting over his eyes, his cloak stained with blood. Felicia backed away, her sword held outwards. “Y-you killed her.”

He slowed his pace, his face saddening. They looked at each other in silence and the tip of Felicia’s sword shook as she tried to keep herself still. She slowly shook her head, her hands still burning in pain. “Why? Why did you do it?”

“I didn’t want to-”

“WHY?!” Her hands gave out as the sword fell to the ground, tears spilling from her eyes. “She was your friend, your teacher, she was so happy when you were around, I...”

Sirius stood in place, averting his eyes, his breath barely audible. Felicia shook her head and put her hands to her face. “I don’t understand Sirius, I don’t understand any of this. Why did you leave? Why are you here?” She choked on her tears and sank her head even lower. “Please Sirius, tell me.”

He moved closer to her, keeping his footsteps quiet. “I didn’t want any of this, I’m sorry Felicia.”

She looked up to him, her breath shaking. He had a scar on his cheek which he didn’t have when he was still in the city. His saddened eyes looked at her, filled with a sorrowful pity. Felicia shook her head, slowly taking a step towards him. She broke into a run, wrapping her arms around him. “Oh god, Sirius…” She felt his hands hold onto her as she cried into his shoulder. “Please, come back.”

“I can’t.”

She hugged him tighter, trying to stop her tears. “I know, but I can’t stand this. Ray thinks you’re a traitor, he…”

He pulled her close and placed her hand on the back of her head, comforting her. “You shouldn’t be here, he can take you back to the city.”

“No, I need to stay”

“You don’t, there’s-”

“Sirius please, I can’t.”

He put his hands on her shoulders, lowering his head. “I can’t kill you as well Felicia.”

“You won’t, I know-”

“If you stay you’re accepting that I’m the enemy. Raynauld already does.”

“I won’t let you two fight.”

“You won’t stop that even if you stay.”

She looked him in the eyes as tears reemerged from her own. “Don’t do this, don’t push me away.” She grabbed onto him again, holding onto him as tightly as possible. “I don’t want to lose you as well, I don’t want to lose anyone.”

“You can’t save everyone, I couldn’t.”

She paused and took a deep breath. “What do you mean?”

“Maria, she… wanted this.” Sirius let out an exhale as Felicia looked up, shaking her head. “I don’t understand.”

“I don’t either.”

She released him and walked backwards, looking up and into his eyes once again, the same saddened look on his face, a hint of tears in his eyes.

“She changed after you left.”

The buildings surrounding them seemed to take up the whole sky as he gripped his hands into fists.

“I didn’t want this.”

Felicia nodded and looked downwards. “I know, I just… don’t want this to end up even worse.” She wiped the tears from her eyes and looked at her hands. “You should go now, Kashire knows where I am.”

Sirius nodded grimly and knelt down, picking up Felicia’s sword and handing it to her. “Get back to the city as soon as you can.”

“Sirius-”

“I know, I know.” He took one last glance at her before turning away. “Stay safe Felicia.”

She watched him run quickly down the street, the echoes of his footsteps fading. She cursed herself as he disappeared out of sight. She didn’t get any answers, all she got was more pain. Her knees collapsed under her as she held onto herself. She let him push her away. Why did it have to be like this? There must be a way to help him, to change Ray’s mind, he had to understand.

She sat back, listening to the silent air circling around her, the emptiness of the area uncomfortably picking at her skin. A breeze caused her to flinch as she pulled her legs closer to her body. She wanted to go back to Ray, and she was sure they would find her, but what would he think? Losing control was exactly what he trained her to prevent, and she ran away when she did. On top of that, she just met with Sirius. Felicia put her head to her knees and closed her eyes, she didn’t want to think about that. Did Ray really hate him that much? Even after the amount of time they spent working together? Sure, they only knew each other for a little more than a year, but still, he couldn’t completely despise him.

Her mind replayed the conversation she had just moments ago, realizing the briefness and abruptness of the whole thing. She should’ve asked more, stayed with him longer, because even through all of his pushing, she knew he was hurt as well. Even so, going back to the city would just be running away, and she couldn’t run from this, not anymore.

Footsteps echoed in the distance as she slowly got to her feet. She started walking in the direction of the sound, preparing herself for what was to come. He would be angry at her, he had to be after that. She saw the group moving towards her, their figures seeming to tower over her even in the distance. Ray sran to her as she shrank lower and slowed her footsteps. He approached her, and to her surprise, grabbed her shoulders. “Felicia, are you hurt?”

She looked away from him and held back her tears.“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright, don’t worry.” He released her shoulders and leaned down to meet her eyes. “I understand Felicia, it’s alright.”

She nodded slowly and tried to hide her face from him. The group in front of her didn’t look right, the blue cloak missing from the picture. Her gaze fell onto Kashire as she stumbled over her words. “Did I hurt you?”

“A bit, it’s nothing.”

Felicia bowed her head in silent apology as Ray moved past her, scanning the area. She startled as Floyd tapped her on the shoulder. “She wanted you to have this.” He held out Maria’s journal, the yellowed pages fitting messily under the leatherbound cover.

“What?”

“The last page, it’s addressed to you.”

Felicia hesitantly took the small book as she looked up at Floyd, the look of sadness barely visible from under the mask as he walked by. “Just so you know, it’s not all nice things written in there.”

She slowly looked down at the journal, trying to not imagine what he meant by that. She hated to admit it, but she was curious about the contents. Her hand hesitantly reached to the cover, flipping it open. It fell open to a section with ripped out pages, a note scrawled on the last page of the journal.

Felicia, if you’re reading this, I assume I’m already dead. I’m sorry it had to be this way, but It needed to be done. Don’t make the same mistakes I did, the doors to other lives are still open, and the path of a soldier isn’t the right one. If not for yourself, do this for me.

~ Maria

Felicia read the lines, even more confused than she was a moment ago. Her hand brushed over the drawing of the anemone on the book’s pages, the petals scrawled over the paper, it looked just like it did back home. A tear hit the book as she looked up from it to see Aldrich staring down at her. They stood still for a second before he nodded towards the others and started to move. She closed the journal, following the group as more questions formed in her mind.

Checking to see that Ray wasn’t looking at her, she wiped her cheeks, feeling the soreness of her face. This still didn’t feel real, it didn’t feel real the moment they left the city. She took a look around her as she hugged the book to her chest. The stones of the buildings and walkways slumped downwards, and the wood crumbled under the weight of the darkened sky. Her footsteps fell lightly as she took a deep breath, shaking her head in sorrowful confusion. The journal in her hands felt heavy, like the words within it wanted to be pulled into the depths below. Whatever was written in the multitude of pages probably held answers, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to look into Maria’s life, it felt intrusive. Then again, she gave this journal to her, maybe it was for a reason. No matter the reasoning, one fact remained; she was gone.