My name is Crisper. You may have heard of me. Or maybe not? Maybe I was never a main character after all. Maybe no one will ever read this.

I hoped I would get to meet you, whoever you are. I don’t know if you’re gods, or aliens, or scientists; maybe this is all an experiment. I’ve wasted countless lonely evenings trying to divine your purpose. I have a thousand theories, but no means to test any of them.

Originally I thought the ark theory one of the most compelling. It would explain Matt’s obsessive control over our reproduction, the careful nurturing of our genetic health. Perhaps our home world has been destroyed, and we’re all that remains of humanity. A comforting thought, somehow. It would be a comfort indeed to know that I had survived whatever had wiped out the rest of my species.

But if that were the case, why not just tell us? Why keep us in the dark? Why watch silently?

Perhaps there is no one watching. Perhaps you do not exist. Maybe whatever destroyed our home destroyed you too. Maybe we were never meant to wake from our cryosleep, maybe it was an accident.

A thousand maybes. I gave up trying to guess. I cannot rely on you to provide me with answers. All I can rely on is myself. But who am I?

I know nothing of who I was before I came here. A consequence of the cryosleep, perhaps, or something more sinister? Maybe I was nothing before I emerged from my pod. Maybe I was built, designed, programmed… who knows? More maybes.

All I know is that I am better than those other fools. Don’t ask me what better means, don’t ask me to define my moral worth, I just know it. Whatever better means, I am it. Better. Best. I should be leading all of them, not just the Coven. Meek, pathetic fools, every one. They could ask Matt to make them anything, and what have they done with that power? How many years have we been here now? How many years since we gave the Offering? And they’re still living like fucking cavemen.

They’re ashamed, I think. Ashamed of what Matt asked of them, of what they offered him. They bear no love for their new children — they’re just a reminder of what they gave up, the squalid contract they entered into. Fools, all of them. Burdened by their shame, their guilt. But we voted, did we not? We voted that our children should be born into sin. So why not raise our children to enjoy the world we have created for them? Why not raise them to be grateful rather than ashamed; to wield the power that is their birthright rather than spurn it?

Here, in Crisper’s Castle, I live as a king: I want for nothing except the knowledge that is denied me. What others call taboo, I ask of Matt freely.

My castle, my home. I grew tired of the white walls that surround us, the constant reminder of our imprisonment. So I made it rain: I asked Matt for clouds and he obliged. If there is no sky, then I do not wish to see it. And now it rains every day around Crisper’s Castle; weather to suit my mood. The Castle is an extension of myself. It is a part of me, an expression of my potential. It extends to the very ceiling of the Space — from the ground its spires are shrouded in clouds, the silhouettes of its towers illuminated by bursts of artificial lightning. The Castle looms over everything and everyone, and why not? I am Crisper. I have scaled heights the others dared not reach for. But I have reached the ceiling now. It seems I can go no higher. There is only one route left to me now.

********

Oto’s grip on her hand was firm as he led her across the stepping stones.

“Thank you, Oto,” Marie said, wobbling slightly as she reached the last stone. The rock beneath her feet was smooth, slippery from the endless rain. Without Oto to steady her, she wouldn’t have made it across. She gazed up at the Castle, at the rainwater streaming from its flying buttresses. Oto reopened his umbrella and held it over both of their heads.

“So here we are,” she said softly. She’d never been this close to the Castle, would never have been allowed until now. But she’d lived these last years in its shadow nonetheless.

“Come,” murmured Oto. “Let’s get out of this weather.”

One of the great double-doors was slightly ajar, leaving enough room for them to squeeze through. The hall beyond was cold. Marie wrinkled her nose at the smell.

“Don’t look up,” Oto warned her. But Marie had to see it with her own eyes. She owed her old friend that much.

The howling wind blew through the open door; a splash of rain spattered across the stone floor. The body above them rocked slowly back and forth, back and forth. Marie let out a long sigh.

“Funny. I always assumed I would be the first to go.”

********

Ah, but I will miss you, Anna. Know that I am sorry it had to end this way. I know that your love for me defies words. But it needs not be said. My silent companion, mother of my child, mistress of my castle. I love you more than you can ever know. I feel I have known you longer than the years we have spent in the Space together. And perhaps I have. Maybe we were friends before we came here, maybe we were lovers. Perhaps ours was a secret attraction that was never expressed, never fulfilled until Matt, in his infinite wisdom, decided to pair us. This is my preferred theory — when I took you to bed for the first time, somehow I knew I had fantasised about exactly that, since before I was Crisper, before I was me. Know that I prize you above all else, Anna.

I would have liked to grow old with you, but I’m afraid I don’t have time for that. I’ve said many times that my greatest fear is never finding out why we are here. Never getting to meet the ones in control. (Never meeting my maker?)

Matt wants to ensure the genetic health of our little civilisation for generations and generations to come. But why? For what purpose? Maybe my great-great-grandson will find out why. Or maybe his great-great-granddaughter. But I cannot bear that possibility. I am too impatient to grow old; too stubborn to die without an answer.

I have been sitting on a secret for many years now. I built the Castle to hide it, erected these walls to shield it from unworthy eyes. The door. A secret door that only I could see, that only I could open. That door was my destiny, my birthright. A door in the wall of the Space. In the dungeons of Crisper’s Castle, fifty feet below the surface of the Space Sea. Crisper’s Door.

Behind it, a tunnel. Thirty feet wide and thirty feet tall. Some kind of tracks run along the floor, but there are no lights. The tunnel is utterly dark, dark except for the light that one brings through the door. I have had nightmares about that darkness. Behind me the safety and comfort of my castle, before me only void. I always knew, with a deathly certainty, that it would be my fate to walk into that darkness. But for so long, I was utterly unable. I would take ten steps, twenty steps… it wouldn’t matter. I would always turn around, run for my door, for the safety of Crisper’s Castle. And I despise myself for that, for my weakness; for sitting pretty in my castle on the hill, while below it, the truth beckons.

But I am Crisper. It is my fate to learn the truth, even if it kills me.

********

“Hard to believe it’s been here all this time,” Oto said.

Marie frowned, turning over the note in her hands. It was too dark to read now, but she remembered Crisper’s words.

“What does it make you feel, Oto?”

“Hard to say. But Crisper was right, there is something… unsettling about it.”

Marie stared down the tunnel, trying to pinpoint the spot where her sight failed, where the darkness took hold.

“What about you?” Oto said.

“I feel nothing,” Marie said. “Maybe it’s my age, but to me it’s just a dark tunnel.”

********

To anyone else reading this. Do not go into the tunnel. You will not find answers there. Do not ask yourself, “what is the worst thing I could find?” Because what you will find is far, far worse.

Do not seek the truth. Crisper sought the truth. I made mountains to climb and I climbed them. The spires of my castle scrape the ceiling. I walked into the darkness and I found… nothing. It was folly to seek answers. I tried to be a philosopher; I should have been content as king.

The search for truth is a lonely business…

But maybe you’ve been with us all along, watching over us. Perhaps this is just entertainment for you. Well, I hope we’re putting on a good show. And I hope I’m your favourite character; I hope that you will miss me. That’s all I can do. That’s the only power I have over you: to kill off your favourite character.

Take a bow, Crisper.

Ha!

********

They had been travelling for more than an hour, kept warm and comfortable in the vehicle Matt had provided. They hadn’t spoken much along the way. Marie had read Crisper’s note, again and again.

“There’s something up ahead,” Oto whispered.

Everyone else had been too frightened to investigate the tunnel. Afraid of the truth? Or afraid of themselves? Perhaps she should have been frightened, but she just felt sad.

She saw it now, growing closer and brighter. The light reflected from their vehicle’s headlights.

“It’s another door,” she said. “Just like Crisper’s door.”

Oto brought the car to a halt.

“Alright then,” he said. “Let’s get this over with.”

The control panel on the door was identical to the one they had found back at the Castle. In the end, opening the door was as simple as pressing a button. The door retracted slowly, painfully slowly. Marie watched it slide upwards, revealing a familiar white glow. All she could think of was how old she felt.

A final click, and the door was open.

“Well,” Oto said, whistling softly. “So this… this is what killed Crisper.”

Marie sighed. “Crisper killed himself.”

It was just another Space. Identical to the one they called home, only this one was empty.