One of the worms ceased its wriggling and turned on him squarely from his mother’s collarbone.

Worm 1: It’s bloody freezing in here.

Worm 2: Stop moaning.

Worm 3: He ain’t wrong.

Ultra Worm of the Left Armpit: Cease your squabble, I bring news of –

Worm 2: Fuck off Ultra Worm.

Worm 3: Hey look! He sees us, or whatever.

Worm 1: Pathetic really.

Worm 2: Reminds me of the time he forgot the ammonia.

All worms: Reminds all of us.

Worm 1: Shhhhh now. We can’t let that out the bag.

Worm 3: Oooooh if Old Ma D had known about that.

Worm of the ear: Don’t worry she can’t hear anymore.

Worm 2: God bless her.

Worm 1: Flights of fancy every now and then can get one into a spot of bother can’t they?

Worm of the eye: It’s too much looking within.

Worm of the navel: Is that a dig at me?

Worm of the eye: No, no, why would you–

Worm of the navel: Everyone is always having a dig at me.

Old Ma D: Now, now, my wormies. No worries here, no worries at all…

A voice boomed out from crackling speakers: “Hey, dickhead. I said ‘Collecting truths outside the system is a lonely business sometimes’.”

Reality suddenly became very easy to tell apart from imagination. Djaer was met with a look of pity and hatred burned into the face of his new second-in-command as she hunched over the ‘Live Mic’ switch for the onboard tannoy system. Truth outside the system – he got the joke all too well. He wondered whether he should reprimand her now for her insolence or wait til they were further out. Yes, wait until later, then he’d definitely castigate her better. Oh she wouldn’t know what castigation had hit her, oh boy.

Djaer casually polished his identity patch and settled for his best attempt at a veiled threat: “Good one. You know, I have personally disembowelled 3 different mid-ranking entities in the last year alone.”

She just looked embarrassed.

This wasn’t right. He’d done the maximum socially-acceptable amount of inveiglement and took advantage of family connections to be gifted his esteemed position at W.A.S.T.E. Unincorporated as sole crewmember on this disposal vessel… That made him, de facto, captain. Now some glorified assistant was going to disrupt all of that.

“Tick tock old timer,” she pointed at the twinkling snowflakes that signified the cryo levels on the heads up display.

“Why in heaven’s name did you set a countdown?!” Djaer exclaimed.

A tear thawed and fell from her cheek. “Hardly much company if they all stay frozen, are they?” That warm-bitter smile returned, “If humans concern you at all, it’s probably best to keep out of the daydreams and with the problems at hand.”

Djaer couldn’t help himself – in his inner vision he saw the worms all nodding sagely at her good advice.