I keep falling down, letting go of someone’s hand

Someone reached out for me and I let go

But who?

A face blurred and colors faded into miserable grays

Again, I fall, each crash into the floor was splintering the bones in my back

Again, I fall, an accidental let go,

Hold onto her hand tighter, why did I let go?

But it seems, all along I was not the one falling

“Sharon!” the helpless noise escaped my mouth

Holding onto my hand, or so I had thought, but I missed grabbing her by seconds

I let her go, I let her die

And with a spine-shattering crack, she falls

“SHARON, SHARON!!” I scream

My throat feels so raw

Unmoving, her body lays there, blood pooling under her and leaking from her nose and mouth, terror immortalized in her eyes

I failed, I let her die

“SHARON, SHARON!!” I scream, all in vain

Tears and pain crushed me, dripping down my face and pressing down onto my chest, the hurt almost as bad as the emotions

Sobbing, could feel the pressure worsening on my chest, whimpers from my throat, and the overwhelming guilt pulverizing my chest even more

“This can’t be just a dream. This is too real.”

Closed my eyes, desperate to ignore the scene before me

Opened them again, and found myself somewhere new

Cliff edge, covered in icy snow and surrounded by the harshest blizzard

“Where am I?”

Breath short, air cold and seemed oxygen was lacking

How high up am I?

Alone? Isn’t that the way it should be, as it was before?

“So what did it matter right?” Someone said someone’s voice that didn’t belong to me

Overwhelming feelings from a wordless voice whispered in my head

“A short walk to a shortstop wouldn’t be so bad.”

Closer I walked to the edge, the violent snowstorm swirling beneath

“I don’t want to do this. No I don-”

One more thing, another pin pushed under the skin

“LET ME GO! PLEASE DON’T HIT ME!”

“I know what’s best for you.”

“GET OFF ME NIKKITA!”

and I jump off into the windy night