Truck-chan vs. the woods.

System Memo

From: The Goddess System a priori alpha version.00257643

To: Mr. Spickles, low level managerial department of reincarnation.

Sudject: Daily report, reincarnations are up /

Average volume of souls today!

164,879 souls reincarnated. 164,879 infatuations. I’m working beautifully. ^_^

Truck-chan was staring at a tree. She used to have vinyl paneling. She assumed that came from these trees, but she was unsure of the mechanics involved, of turning one into the other. She looked at her naked body, which humans would have found very attractive, but for Truck-chan, she wanted to feel the wind on her paneling, while driving down the open road. These floppy lumps of flesh on her upper torso weren’t helping things in any way shape or form. They were useless. The goddess had told her that she was quite beautiful by human standards. But, she literally had the fashion sense of a truck. So she wanted paneling, wood paneling to be precise, and the feel of the open road on her tires. She looked down disappointingly at her feet. Oh to be a truck in a human body, what other trucks must have felt in this situation, she thought.

She punched the tree, but only felt an enormous pain in her hand. She began wringing her hand uselessly in great pain, when a dull thumping came from behind her.

It was a giant lizard, with saliva hanging from its enormous lizard mouth. It stopped 3 feet away, hissing and spitting, flaring its fleshy spines.

She faced the creature unafraid. She was a truck! No truck would bow to a lesser creature. She had run over thousands of his distant cousins on earth. She would run over this spiny limpdicked codswallop as well, as her old driver Ralph used to say. “I’m bigger than you BIOTCH!!!” she shouted, pretending to rev her engine. “Vrooom VroOOOOOm!!!,” she stared down the lizard. It salivated, its saliva melting a hole through the rock it was sliming down. Suddenly a rational thought emerged from deep inside Truck-chan's truck-ulent mind. I think that’s acid. Trucks are hurt by acid. SHIT!

She spun on her heel, and booked it full speed into the forest. Dodging and ducking and leaping over obstacles. Darting hither and thither, the lizard thumping somewhere behind her with its swayback steps. She started to feel the joy of the open road in the dense canopy. No truck has ever leaped over a log, or run pell mell through a thicket, she thought. Skin stinging from the thorny protrusions in said thicket.

No truck has ever done what I have done, she suddenly realized. She was both ashamed and also disappointed. Ashamed, by not staying true to her nature as a truck, and slightly disappointed in the drawbacks of being a truck in the first place. Reflecting on all the memories of people suiciding on her hood, something the goddess said finally clicked into place.

“You have awakened a unique power,” the goddess had said. “Everyone sentient you kill will reincarnate in another world. Your unique nature as Truck-chan has determined this. Since the news has gotten out, the suicide rate by Truck-chan has skyrocketed. I decided to subvert this societal trend, and place you in another world, as a stop gap measure. Hopefully enough people will go to hell after this, and the news will get back to the earth that Truck-chan has moved on.” The goddess smiled. Yup, thought the goddess, nothing could go wrong with this plan, nothing at all.

“Oh and one more thing,” the goddess said as an afterthought, “I’ve unlocked your magical potential just like all the other reincarnators,” said the goddess disappearing in a flash of light. “You’ll figure it out,” the goddesses voice rang out, in a small faraway voice that seemed to fade away slowly into the darkness.

That’s right I’ll just run over this stupid lizard, thought Truck-chan, as she ran headlong through the tangled bushes. With my shiny wheels, and metalic fucking body, “Goddess dammit!!!!!” she screamed. The lizard seemed to take this as encouragement, picking up the pace. Thumping closer and closer.

That just leaves magic, thought Truck-chan. Maybe I can transform into a truck, like in those movies my driver Ralph used to watch. She shouted, “Transformers, Robuts in De Skies.” …………………………………………………. Nothing

She panted heavily, starting to lose her breath from constantly pelting through the narrow forest.

“Fuck me sideways,” she said in a country twang, like Ralph always used to in a traffic jam.

Maybe if I imagine my engine, she thought. She visualized the 14.8-liter inline six-cylinder diesel engine, weighing 2,880 lbs. Imagined the pistons firing one after another, revving and roaring over the road. Imagining the fuel line going back into the fuel tank, and to her surprise, she saw a vast blue ocean of fuel in her mind. A near infinite supply of power, ready to turbocharge her mind and body. It was all ready to go, except, what should it connect to? What should she use all that power for. She had no wheels. “Aaaaaaarrrrghhh,” she cried out in frustration.

The lizard was hot on her tail. He/she/it was flopping and hopping, from massive foot to massive foot, claws outstretched, hoping for a pound of flesh from her naked pumping body. It had almost caught up.

Diving behind a nearby tree, she stumbled and almost fell on the roots. A thumping skid told her the monster wasn’t far behind. She ran around the tree, trying to keep it between her and the monster, but it dove past coming faster than she thought possible.

And it was at that moment, an idea crystalized in her mind. Desperation struck her as any mammal in the last moment before death. She connected the roaring engine in her mind to her right arm, throwing a clawed hand toward the monster. An excruciating pain tore through her muscles, as her arm started to rotate in its socket. Quickly becoming a whirlwind of blood and gore, but simultaneously tearing straight through the center of the monster. Tearing its guts out, and spreading its insides around the forest clearing. Immediately, she blacked out from the enormous pain.

The first thing she noticed was stumpy. That was now the new name for her right arm, or lack thereof, that is. Stumpy was leaking profusely all over the dirt. He didn’t look well at all, not one little bit. Yes her right arm was now a he, and he had a serious problem, or the problem was he’d lost most of himself in a dramatic self sacrificing maneuver.

“Thank you for your service,” she said. Saluting Stumpy with her left hand with military precision. What passed for military precision in a reincarnated truck, was not so much military, and definitely not much precision either. But it's what she could pull together given the circumstances.

She was feeling quite drained, seeing as stumpy was literally draining the life out of her onto the ground, it made sense. What she really needed was a mechanic, or whatever passed for that for humans that is.

“Medic,” she called, with military precision, or not. Depending on your definition, remember who we’re talking about here.

“Here,” shouted a short green dildo looking weirdo which popped right out of the ground, at her feet.

She shrieked!!!!

It shrieked!!!!!!!

There was a whole lot of shrieking going on. She ran out of air, and paused for breath.

So did it, copying her raised eyebrows, and surprised facial expression exactly in its little green mushroom like face.

She shrieked!

It shrieked!!!

She stopped………….and started again

So did it!

She stopped

So did it.

“Are you copying me,” she shrieked, this time in words. Angry at this wakamole of character, copying her every move.

“I know you are but what am I,” it shrieked right back at her, running around her in circles, giggling insanely.

Stumpy spurted an inordinate amount of blood into the dirt, and her vision decided to go dark around the edges. She tried to focus.

The little green mushroom person continued to dance wildly around her,giggling insanely while stumpy bleed out, and her vision wavered. Gritting her teeth, she wildly lashed out with her remaining hand. Catching the mushroom, despite its high energy antics. It screamed and screeched in her grip. Struggling and fighting against her strong left hand. It was as a child against her strength. It rapidly started to expand, its head ballooning ominously, bigger and bigger. Until it’s body literally exploded, covering her in atrocious green goo.

She coughed and spat out some of it. It oddly felt good. Cool and strangely comforting. Her wounds started to close. As the goo sept into her body, numbness started to spread to every corner. She coughed up blood. In it was a green fire, which wavered and flickered, like oil on water. Oil, she thought, exactly what a truck needs. Do humans need oil? She thought back trying to put together all the jumble of memories from all the humans she’d reincarnated on her holy hood. Humans used oil in salads, and then they ate the salads. So maybe this wasn’t so bad.

Then she remembered that humans were fragile, and she was no longer a truck. Aaaah to be a truck again. She must become a truck again. Whatever it took, whatever she had to go through to do, it didn’t matter. Whatever pain or suffering she had to endure, her resolve was paramount.

“I will reincarnate myself as the real Truck-chan,” she swore, blood leaking from her mouth. It was her dying wish. She remembered, the goddess had told her that any sentient being she killed would be reincarnated. So with her resolve set, and her goal determined, she staggered to her feet, her vision swimming, tears running down her face, covered in green goo and blood.

She screamed up into the sky as her imaginary engine purred to life and she connected it to her neck. Enormous pain hit her like a truck going 70 miles an hour, down the highway. The pain plowed into her skull, like a freight train, as the enormous magic supply she inherited from not one, but many isekai’d individuals, literally spun her own head right off her shoulders. At this very moment, various gods and devils got chills down their spine, and they were afraid. Something had gone wrong with the multiverse.