Roman didn’t understand exactly how he came to be at the food court of Emmerson Mall, but he was. The moment he arrived home, he and Declan were whisked out the door again by Evelyn in some frenzy about wrapping Christmas gifts. He supposed that’s why Declan suggested they go to the mall, but Declan didn’t seem too interested in anything.

The Emmerson Mall was the same no matter what day you went. The temperature, the fluorescent lights, the oddly colored tile floors, not a thing changed about it except for the never-ending loop of Christmas music that took the place of the normal radio friendly pop songs. Even the people looked the same, all worked up about whatever holiday shopping they had to do. Roman frankly didn’t care for it all. There was something off about shopping centers, perhaps it was how nothing felt permanent. Neon yellow and green chairs lined the food court tables. Roman couldn’t remember the last time he had been to the food court. However, he did remember it looked just like this; a time capsule of the 90’s. Kitchen grease and fried food combined to make an odor that reminded him of the bottom of the sink but it didn’t deter him from eating his fries.

Declan picked his burger apart, tossing the tomato off to the side with a repulsed expression. Staring at him, Roman's mind wandered. A twinge of guilt panged in his stomach. It was hard for him to be a proper older brother. He never quite knew how to act at the best of times and at the worst of times he was disconnected from Declan. It wasn’t Declan’s fault; he wasn’t a brat or anything of that nature. Their parents just preferred him. He was easier to deal with and happier too. Sometimes and secretly Roman resented Declan for it but he assumed Declan probably resented him for similar reasons. Eating a fry, Roman considered himself for a moment. He hated how he wasn’t a role model for Declan but rather a road map of what not to do.

“What did you get mom for Christmas?” Roman asked with a fry hanging from his mouth.

“A necklace.” Declan replied quietly while he picked the lettuce out of his food.

“Ah sick, put my name on it.”

“No.” Declan rolled his eyes and pushed his tray away from him, clearly uninterested in the meal. “Just get her something yourself.”

“Why? It’s not like the woman likes me.” It was a true enough statement.

“Tone down the teen angst. Buy her a gift. She birthed you.”

“Didn’t ask to be born.” Roman scoffed and checked his phone. Three missed calls all from Sam and 30 texts from Fletchers filled the screen. Ignoring it he looked back at Declan who was wrapping up his food. “Fine, but I am putting in no effort. You can pick her out something.”

“Sure, we can just pick out some earrings to match the necklace I got her.” Mama’s boy, Roman thought to himself.

After dumping their trash and putting the trays away, they started to wander around the mall in search of a jewelry store. Declan, unlike Roman, knew exactly where they needed to go and yet Roman still led them. A few quick paced laps around the mall put them at the Gold Lodge Jewelry. It was an upper scale place with dark marble tiles, gold trim around the displace cases and a large mirror hanging behind the front counter. The man behind the counter was like a walking suit, lacking anything of note besides the fact he owned an expensive suit. Roman guessed his personality would be much the same.

“Excuse me sir,” Declan started while Roman placed his hands on the displace case leaving smudge marks unintendedly. “We’re looking for some earrings for my mom. Emerald preferably.”

Smiling, the sales associate walked a few feet over and pulled out a small case. Cracking it open and placing it on the counter, the man’s smile stayed stiff and unnatural. Roman glanced at the selection of earrings, noticing the small variety. Most were small stud earrings while a few were in the shape of a teardrop but nothing that reminded him of his mom. The gems did however have a strong shimmer.

“These are synthetically made emeralds. Nearly impossible to tell the difference. Perfect for a tight budget that will allow you to buy that special woman in your life something that will really set her apart.” The sales associate said with his voice laced with fake enthusiasm. Roman rolled his eyes assuming the man must have made commission on his sales.

“That’s nice…” Declan paused looking at the case. “Could we look at some real emeralds? My mom would know if we bought a fake.”

“I assure you these are almost identical.” The man pushed the case towards them again.

“She’s a designer. She would know.” Declan reassured.

“Okay. I’ll be frank, we don’t carry affordable options for children.” The man snapped, his cheery façade falling away. “You dad gave you what? A hundred dollars? Our lowest item with genuine emeralds is nearly four hundred.”

“Sir, I think I know my own budget.” Declan was surprisingly polite.

“Listen, kid.” He said looking over Declan’s shoulder at an older couple. “I make commission and you are wasting my valuable time.”

“Please, sir.” Declan maintained his pleasant behavior while Roman grabbed his wallet.

Casually, Roman tossed his black credit card on the counter. He knew well the connotation it carried with it. The card was an exclusive and invitation only card that was a way for rich people to flex their wealth in a slightly more subtle way; it was like his mother always said ‘money talks, wealth whispers’. Part of him was bitter at how he was acting like his parents but the large part of him wanted to show up the walking suit.

“I’ll need to see some ID.” The man gave a dry laugh. “You can’t just bring in your daddy’s card-”

“Is this satisfactory?” Roman held up his driver license. Scooping the license out of his hand, the man inspected it carefully. He mouthed Roman’s name as he read the card.

“I am so sorry, sir. I didn’t realize you-”

“Sure, you are. Can I see a different sales associate now?” Roman didn’t even look the man in the eye as he spoke.

Sulking, the man walked off and returned with a petite woman who wore the same overly energetic grin. Roman zoned out as Declan detailed the type of jewelry their mom wore from the exact tone of metal to the cut of the gem. The women pulled out a delicate pair of emerald earrings set in silver that seemed to catch Declan’s interest.

“Would these make her happy?” The woman sounded a bit like a robot trying to sound human.

“Yes, that would be great.” Roman returned the artificial smile while looking at Declan.

“Okay, your total is-” Roman cut her off as she rang in the earrings.

“Don’t worry about it.” Instantly, he regretted saying it.

The women didn’t mind much but the entitlement in his voice spoke volumes. Looking in the mirror behind her, Roman saw the version of himself that strangers encountered. A resting contemptuous expression in combination with an aggressive stance created an image of himself that he didn’t quite like. As he slid his card in the machine, he looked back up at his reflection but saw a more disturbing sight. Just outside of the shop was Helga playing with her long brown curls as she waited. A soft smirk played at the corner of her mouth as she slowly waved at him. Wiping his card out, he thanked the woman. He quickly grabbed the gift bag and Declan’s arm before trying to shuffle him out without Helga following. Looking over his shoulder, he couldn’t see her but once he looked towards the exit, he saw her small wave again. How did she get in front of us? Roman questioned silently.

“Hey bunny.” She roped her arm around Roman’s elbow and looked up at him with doe eyes.

“Hello.” Roman tensed his entire body, slowly trying to take his arm away.

“Who-” Declan started off, shifting backwards. Discomfort was painted across his face.

“A friend.” She snuggled closer to Roman. Sliding her hand up by his head, she tried to run her fingers through his hair, but he flinched away. “Aw, come on.”

“Hey Declan, can you wait here a minute?” He pleaded.

Declan nodded as Helga hauled him just far enough away that they couldn’t be heard. Entirely unsure of what she wanted, Roman imagined the worst. As he opened his mouth to speak, Helga got closer to him, her hand once again landing close to his face. Stepping back Roman hissed,

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to save your life.” She reached out again but Roman grabbed both of her hands.

“By coming on to me in front of my little brother?”

“I need your hair-” Without hesitation, Roman pulled a few strands of hair from his head and handed it to her. “That was unexpected.”

“Is that good?” Roman didn’t understand magic well enough to understand the purpose of hair nor did he care enough to learn.

“It’ll do.” She tapped her foot against the tile. “I would have expected you to be the one to put up a big fuss.”

“Do whatever you want, just ask. You don’t need to be so weird and creepy about it.” Pulling away, Roman started walking back towards Declan.

“You’re being surprisingly agreeable.”

“You showed up at a public place while I was out with my brother. Hardly had a choice.”

“Do you want to know what I’m doing?” She asked.

“No.”

“I think you are my favorite.” She paused as she started walking off. Funny, I didn't think she could do that. “Goodbye, Roman.”

Catching back up with Declan, Roman noticed he wandered off to one of the claw machines that were scattered randomly through the mall. Flicking the joystick, he guided the claw to hover above a pink stuffed bear. Declan clicked the button as he looked back over Roman. The two exchanged a quick conversation only by expressions; Declan with a quizzical look and Roman’s typical head shake to say don’t ask. Declan retrieved the pink bear from the machine and tossed it at Roman.

“Ready to roll?” Roman asked, catching the bear. It was cute with its little heart eyes and soft fur.

“Sure.”

The parking lot was emptier than before. Old shopping bags, and fast-food wrappers rolled across the asphalt as if it was the tumbleweed of suburbia. As much as Roman loved late nights, the dark sky brought him no peace but rather a sinking sense of dread like he wasn’t meant to be there. Loneliness floated around them, isolating them from the people in the mall. Where the mall was alive and thriving with people, the parking lot was desolate, only meant for a moment's use never meant to stay in. Pushing the dread away, Roman unlocked his car.

Unlike most of the things his father bought him, the car wasn’t flashy. It was a basic starter car that any normal teenager would have. Roman preferred it that way. Plus, it was green and he loved green far more than he loved some random make and model of a vehicle.

“Hey bunny!” Declan mocked as he got on the passenger side.

“Oh, don’t you start with that shit.” Roman replied.

Starting the car, he couldn’t help but think of how much has changed. Despite everything, it was better. He had friends who cared about him, even if Fletcher was an insecure prick. Last year, he was getting plastered in an empty lot with Warren and whoever else decided they weren’t totally insufferable. It wasn’t a bad time, but he always had to have a buzz on to have any fun. It was different with the other boys; There wasn’t any work required to have a good time. He also had a car now which was pretty sick.

“Uh…Roe?” Declan’s voice quivered.

“What?” Roman noticed Declan set his jaw. His eyebrows raised and his eyes wide. He tried to analyze Roman before he spoke.

“What are you doing?” He said softly letting his eyes drop down to Roman’s arms

Looking down, Roman saw his right hand with a death grip on the key while his other hand white-knuckle the wheel. His arms shook out his control and his vision blurred. Not again, he cursed silently. Trying to stop moving proved futile as the shaking only got worse. The car walls twisted in on him. He could hear the windshield shatter as the metal frame clawed its way inward. Squeezing his eyes shut, all he could do was pray that it’d be over soon

“It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real.” Roman repeated to himself completely forgetting Declan was even in the car.

“Roman?” Declan called out but he sounded so far away.

Opening his eyes again, he saw the car had reassembled itself but in the distance was a familiar and bloody figure. Roman didn’t have to be any closer to know it was Davis. In the blink of an eye Davis was gone and everything was normal again. He started the car.

“What the hell was that?” Declan spat

“I’m claustrophobic.” Roman blinked away some tears before reversing the car out of the parking spot.

“Okay, since when?” Declan sounded skeptical. “Should you even be driving?”

“It started after I got back from camp…And I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine.”

Roman didn’t respond, favoring to drive in silence over an interrogation. Declan however rattled off statistics about car accidents and reasons why Roman shouldn’t be driving. If it wasn’t for the quiver in his voice, Roman would have said he was faking it just so that he could drive the car but there was something honest in the ramblings.

“Can I ask you something?” Declan took a deep breath.

“I don’t think I have the option to say no.”

“Why did you go to camp?” It was a hollow question, something he should have already known the answer to.

“Oh. The dirtbi-”

“Don’t.” Declan sounded tired. “Don’t lie to me.”

“What do you mean?” Roman wasn’t lying. At least he didn’t think he was.

“Moms said it was more than that.”

“I guess I don’t really know.” He lied and pulled the car down a side street in an attempt to get home faster.

Roman knew exactly what answer he was looking for. It’s the underage drinking, drug use, manic behavior and the late-night screaming matches that had become a staple of nights at his mom’s. It was easier to chalk it up to one thing rather than the laundry list of wrongdoing because that meant he didn’t have to admit something was wrong with him.

“What was camp like?”

“It was alright.”

“Why do you insist on lying?” Declan huffed

“Why do you insist on caring?” Roman asked as he sped up. “My shitty camping trip isn’t really a story to get you into the festive mood.”

“I don’t care. I need to know.”

“Why?”

“I just do!” He snapped.

“Okay!” Roman said through gritted teeth, “Lots of hiking and dehydration, no shelter. Staffers don’t give a rat’s ass about you. I lost weight, sleep and just about anything else you could imagine. Oh, and you learn pretty damn fast that every bad thing that ever happened to you is your fault. Doesn’t matter if it wasn’t. It is now.”

“But you're better now?”

“No.” Roman stopped as he pulled the car into the driveway. “Why do you suddenly care? I’ve been home for months.”

“I guess I’m just worried.” He shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “I don’t want to mess up and end up there too.”

“Dad wouldn’t let that happen.” Roman had a thin dry laugh but Declan kept his head down. “Is this a real concern of yours?”

“Yes.” He admitted with a soft nod.

“Yikes.” Roman didn’t know what else to say “Don’t worry about it. I won’t let that happen.”

Declan mumbled a thanks as he got out of the car. Alone finally, Roman checked his texts from Sam. He got the gist that Sam was attacked by Helga’s birds but didn’t understand why Sam would make such a big deal out of it. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen regardless of how much they resisted. Roman decided it was best to deal with it after Christmas break.