I blinked, and my lips pulled up even as everyone did in fact look at me, "Ah, Nick, I didn't trip. I was held while your three friends hit me. I then managed to escape only to get a small scratch from your switchblade, which actually turned out to be deep enough to make my bone visible. I, personally, was going to let it go, not gonna lie," Is all I finished with, shrugging. I managed to keep my voice distinctly pleasant and smooth the entire time, as if I was a retail agent describing the fact that the interior walls of a house were a warm brown knowing that the color was the buyer's preference.

"There are cameras set up in the hallways," The Master said smoothly, and I watched, face once again blank, as Nick paled, cocky and stupid grin fading, "I have checked, and while she left out quite a bit of detail, in which she easily escaped and fought you all off, everything she says is true. Though I could hardly believe that boys such as you could be weaker than a girl who gets a D average in Gym class."

I gave the Master a glance. I had already started up the rumors by talking to my friend, there was no need to restate what we already know. Also I worked out over the summer, dick. Soon enough everyone would know not to mess with me. Fighting off five people, even if they were kids? I just hoped that no one started a rumor that I was the Master's bodyguard. Speaking with Andrea and co after this would be hell.

"Nicholas Kolemen, Liz Bethonny, Tobias Frederikson, Noah Smith, and Sebastian Jordan, please report to my office immediately. Bring your stuff. Your parents and the police have already been called," The Master said, and I finally got it.

Oh, he was enjoying punishing them. Wonder why, he never really seemed to enjoy punishing anyone, so why was he being so vindictive now? Maybe he was just in a bad mood from me sassing him earlier, which would also explain the assholic words regarding my gym grades. I simply followed the Master as he walked out, dogging his steps until I caught up enough to walk beside him. Looking at his stormy expression, I wondered if we'd meet the parents and police now. That'd be a hassle, I knew, so he probably wasn't looking forward to it. I'd need to apologize later for making him go through this. I'd also need to insult him back for being an ass and calling me out on my not-quite-great gym scores. Fucker.

I misstepped when I entered, and immediately went into the principal's office without pause, ignoring the curious glance the Master gave me as he stopped to speak. Oh god, there were at least three Karens there, from the ten that arrived. I could tell from the haircut, and the way they held themselves. I sat on the couch in relief, knowing he'd bring them into the meeting room. My dad entered the room, sitting next to me. I glanced at him. After I comforted and defended him when he accidentally set the neighbor's cornfield on fire, he'd been acting kinder to me. As I was only a dick to those that deserved it, to no one's surprise except my parents, I started treating him better as well. I idly wondered how many bruises he'd give me once that ended with an argument that I most likely wouldn't even be a part of until dragged into it.

"Heard you got in a fight," He said, sitting next to me.

I nodded, "Yeah. Had you and Monica not been in the military I'd probably be dead," I explained.

My dad didn't chuckle, "Oh, really?" He asked, low gravelly voice sounding a bit harder.

"Yeah. If you hadn't been in the service then Monica wouldn't have been, and if Monica hadn't been I'd never have known the best areas to deflect a knife. He almost gutted me," I said calmly, "Don't worry, though, I only got a cut on my arm, and I didn't try grabbing the knife, which I've been told you're not supposed to do."

My dad chuckled then, "No, you're not," He hesitantly raised his hand, then awkwardly set it on my shoulder, "Good job. Not many people can say they've fought off five people and won."

I stayed still, unsure how to respond. That was the first time he'd ever said good job to me for something I actually deserved, "Thanks. Thank you for being in the army so that I didn't die."

He chuckled again, "You're welcome."

We both avoided the fact that he had been enlisted, and hadn't had a choice. My sister was an idiot for enlisting, and I knew my dad thought so too. I wondered if World War Three- or, would it be called Two, now?-, which would certainly happen within my lifespan, would happen within my dad's as well. Hopefully not, he'd gone through enough, I'd think. He was still alive when the arms race began, the cold war starting up again as everyone started preparing for war. It was ridiculous, but hey, it made my time machine easier to make and find tools and building material for, so whatever.

My father. The Master. I wondered how they played a part in my life, each. My father, a man who simply hadn't been there for most of the beginning of my childhood. When he retired when I was somewhere from thirteen to fifteen, it was too late for him to get any meaningful relationship with any of us kids, seeing as it was then, at that point in time, a total battlefield. My father now, while still kind, again missed the opportunity to truly meet me, and see who I really am. So... If I were forced to choose on pain of death, I'd probably say the Master were more father-like, though in all honesty he felt more like a particularly annoying friend that happened to be my boss or something. Not that I'm getting paid. Should I get paid? I'll point it out sometime to the Master and see if he accepts the goad.

"Surgery go well?"

Anyway, now that the battlefield state of cutting words and raised voices and yelling and arguments was at an all-time high in my household in this universe, or should I say timeline? I dunno, but it was solely because of me. Had I just shut up and let them treat me like ass, maybe things would be better. I just made them worse, and now there's no escape for a longer period of time.

"Well, I'm here."

Meaning it will only get worse from here on out, fighting a cold war of bladed words and cutting inactions. I honestly only called him dad because he was making an effort to be nice to me. Or maybe the way he talked to me was because he was tired? The way his voice was lowered, softer, was that just exhaustion? I supposed I'd find out, since I knew the kindness between us wouldn't last once Elise, my mother, went back to her ways, and we got in an argument.

"Yeah, I understand that."

I was also proud of myself. While every single one of my family members have exchanged hands before, this is my first time ever doing so, and it was entirely in self-defense, not a single unnecessary hit on my part. No hair-pulling, no dirty tactics, no screeching like a banshee. Just... Me. I realize that I've digressed. Like a lot. I've digressed so far that I actually digressed right back on topic. Huh.

"We should probably go out there and join in the chaos," I said after another moment of silence.

"You sure?" He asked.

I nodded, "Yeah, you want to see the footage of me being a badass, don't you?"

He chuckled, as was the point of my out of character words, and we both wandered out, to the meeting room. We were just in time, it seems, as I watched Noah taunt me on the projector screen. The Master didn't seem too keen on the dick-sucking comment. The police, all of the parents, and the children involved all watched as I was grabbed by behind. There was only two camera angles, and I watched as I jumped and slammed my head back, watching the actual effect it had on Tobias. Looking over, I see that he has a huge bruise from his mouth downwards, and I feel a bit happier. My sister, Monica, who was there with my parents for reasons I know not, though I could guess, was looking rather smug. I wondered why, it's not like she ever taught me to fight or something. That was all me, the only thing she should be smug about is turning what had, at the time, been a perfectly normal conversation about getting kicked in the balls into a story about how it's best to take a knife to the outside of the thighs than the inside, which then, about a year and a half later, managed to save her baby sister's life. It ruined the conversation pretty fucking well though.

"Ooh," A few men wince as Nick goes down, and one of the cameras catch the knife being slid across the ground in its general direction.

They watch as I simply take a step back and hold my outer arm, where I had taken the knife. Instead of in my stomach. I... Honestly now that I see it, I'm surprised it only took about a minute for that all to go down, about half of which me getting taunted and then caught.

"She obviously goaded them!" A woman with bleached-blond hair, the Karen I saw that made me want to hide in the office, snapped, "My precious Sebby wouldn't do that unless she was a bratty and unschooled delinquent savage! She probably was jealous of my poor Sebby's looks and smarts, so she goaded him into the fight!"

I put a hand on my mother's and sister's arms, glaring at them for a moment, before speaking, "Ah, yes, too true. An all A student who is the principal's highly esteemed assistant could never compare to the uncultured, jealous delinquency of an unschooled child, would you not agree?"

The Karen looked caught off guard, before puffing up an nodding, "Exactly."

I nodded, gesturing towards her, "Well, that's good that you agree that your son is an uncultured and jealous delinquent," I smiled kindly and fakely, "Since it's obvious you don't even know your own kid's grades. Didn't you hear him agree that good grades could only be gotten through sexual favors? That sounds awfully jealous to me."

I then let go of both my sister and my mother and take a step back as the Karen lunges, and watch the ensuing chaos with a smirk, standing next to the Master, as was my place. The Master gave me an amused smile, before schooling his face when the Karen was handcuffed. I didn't feel bad for using the duo as meat shields. They happily tried attacking her until Karen Major got arrested. That was something, at least they weren't Karens. Right? Yeah. Good job fam, you may be semi-abusive dicks, but at least you aren't Karens.

"Straight-A student is cutting it a little close," The Master says after a moment, not able to continue until the police return.

"Eh, no one counts Gym. Plus, it's not my fault you tend to have a lot for me to do during that time. It's literally a participation grade, I'm not that bad at Gym to get a D in it without outside interruption. Not to mention I ended last year with all A's," I defended. The Master shrugged.

"I didn't really notice, but you did get all A's at the end of the year, didn't you?"

I nodded, "Yeah. I got a before-school gym pass and did whatever the hell the teachers wanted me to for a better grade after January."

The Master nodded. We both silently observe the disgruntled parents, the sulking children, and my sister, for whyever she decided to come. I had forgotten that my family wasn't aware of my role as esteemed assistant of the principal, and suddenly, after the one cop that had been preventing the two from going after the woman let them go, was facing an inquisition.

"You're the assistant to the principal?" Monica asked.

I blinked slowly, and nodded once, hoping if I stayed absolutely still they couldn't see me.

"Why didn't you tell us this?" My mother asked snippishly.

Because you're a bag of dicks and I'm under enough scrutiny as is from my peers, I don't need to be ripped into when I get home. Ah, but too late, right? Get bent, bitch. I took a breath, "... I didn't think to," I suddenly blurted after a pause, and I frowned at myself. Right. Great argument, dumbass, now I'll have entire fucking issues based solely around "keeping secrets" from them. Damn it, I'm such a fucking idiot! Only the Master takes note that I'm upset, and I take note that he takes note, and watch helplessly as he gives me the "we're talking about this later" look. I nod once, subtly.

I then, looking around the room, see Monica eyeing the Master. I take a long, slow blink, eyes going to the exact other side of the room. No. No. Fucking ew. No. I glanced at the Master, and was glad to see that he didn't take any particular note of her. Oh thank fuck. Oh thank NOT fuck, actually. Thank anything BUT fuck. Oh thank the Fucking God of Olde that he did not allow those two to be into each other. Okay.

The police arrive once again soon after my freak-out is done, and I miss the amused glance of the Master, having noted my absolute horror at the looks Monica was giving him, and also seen that I had been staring intently at him before relaxing.

"So, as you can see, officers," The Master gestured to the projection screen, ignoring the glowers of two- no, make that four, Karens, two being the more elusive and harder to make out of a crowd male Karens, "My student here has been unjustfully attacked, and I'd like for these children to go to a detention facility."

I silently scoffed, meeting Monica's eyes as we both roll ours in silent agreement. He may seem hot, Monica, but he's an idiot when it comes to the American justice system. Trust me, if he wasn't naive he'd probably have you three in jail.

"We... Need parental permission to send children to detention centers without it being court-ordered."

"Of course, and I'd also like to know where the paperwork is to sue on my- the Lynn's ward's behalf," The Master said, and I stare at him silently. His? Did he literally just almost call me his minion in front of police? Or was he about to say his ward? Either way I do in fact believe me to be more his than Elise or Glen's, but alas, what could I do about it? The same as I've always done, I figured. Ignore my own opinion, because it mattered about as much as free dirt did. Maybe less. Probably less. I'd certainly take free dirt if I had an HQ, but I'd not take me even if I was free. Actually free dirt sounds nice. I could use a pile of free dirt in my life. Make a nice level platform for forts and stuff in the yard.