《Redshirt: The Journey》Redshirt- The Blender
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“Damm man, hold up.” Redshirt barked out.
Jumping Filo turned, “What’s happening, do you see something?” He pulled out the rusty iron club that Mother Mellissa gave them. The thick, 2 foot long, club looked like a toy in Filo's massive hands
“What, no.” He responded while pulling off his armour, “actually there was this blonde kid sneaking through the woods though, but I was saying- “
“And you didn’t think that was important information.” Filo said watching Redshirt continue to remove his armour.
“Na man, he was covered in blood. You know, like I don’t want nothing to do with a man who be like, you know casually walking around covered in blood.” Redshirt spoke as he felt the cold morning air on his bare body. “But listen that’s not the point, this armour yeah, it kills, it’s pinching my skin man, and it’s cold, and the sound of metal on metal is disgusting.”
Filo began to laugh, “Of course it’s annoying, you’re not wearing anything underneath the Palladium armour.”
“Are you wearing clothes underneath?”
“A gambeson, plus my compression suit.”
Redshirt blinked at the fully armoured face of Filo.
Filo stared back at Redshirt in his butt-naked glory.
Redshirt blinked again, “There- There’s a lot I could say right now. Alright, but I’m not going to say any of it, okay.” He took a deep breath in and out, “Could you please pass me the bindle. Thank you.”
The bindle was made out of multi-coloured cloth and beautifully stitched, while the wood had intricately carved patterns running along the staff, another gift from Mother Mellissa and Sir Archibald, wrapped up the cloth was barley the size of his head, but as Redshirt unfolded it, he needed Filo to grab the other two corners and place the bindle on the floor.
“They packed all of this in well.” Filo said as picked up multiple wooden containers filled with leftovers and extra snacks.
Filo opened one container and began to share the assortment of sweet candies, dried berries, and salted nuts.
They snacked on the food for a few moments, Redshirt still buck naked in the wet air, eventually they finished their snack and looked at the bigger-on-the-inside bindle cloth.
“They packed this very well.” Redshirt continued as he grabbed his red tracksuit and began to put it on.
“Very, very well.” Filo finished as he reached past a bronze axe and picked up a thick blue book.
Filo flicked through the book, hummed, and began to read, all the while Redshirt struggled to put his armour back on.
After a good while he had the armour on, and the two of them continued to walk towards the city waterlogged city.
"So what was in the book?"
"A comprehensive introduction for the historical development of this new fantasy world." Filo answered back, still flicking through the book. "Would you like to have a quick purview?"
"Na. Thanks though." Redshirt responded, looking at what he guessed was a snail, of course most snails don't have their shells inside their slimy bodies. Still it was pretty cool, in his own opinion.
Filo was silent for a moment or two, "Fair enough, if you do have any questions, don't hesitate to ask." He spoke without a hint of a condescending atttitude.
Redshirt felt his lips split open, and a pearly white smile snuck out as he looked at Filo.
As they walked down the road grew muddier and muddier, the surrounding forest grew wetter, small streams ran through the trees, river reeds blew in the morning wind, and upon a larger creek sat three figures.
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The pair reached the three fishers, only a few minutes away from the wooden bridges that led to the waterlogged city.
“Oi look, there’s some rookie Ironboots.” A weathered frog woman spoke, pointing towards Redshirt and Filo.
The frog woman sat on a log, her round body covered by brown linen garments, her bare head soaking up the drizzling rain, on her left lounged an old human woman, a brown poncho resting upon her weathered head, and upon the right sat a young woman with webbed fingers and skin closer in texture to the frog woman.
The half-human half-frog? woman placed her fishing pole on the wet ground and hopped over to the pair.
“Definitely rookies.” Her voice starting smooth and ending with a croak.
“Good morning fine ladies.” Filo began.
No one responded.
“May I ask why you believe we are rookie soldiers?” Filo finished.
The three women begin to laugh.
“First of all, no Ironboot is up before noon, much less patrolling.” Huffed the old woman.
“Secondly, you didn’t come over for protection money.” Croaked the frog lady.
“And finally, even the Ironboots have enough self-awareness to realise they are not soldiers.” The half-frog girl shook her head.
“So, what are we then?” Filo asked
“Guards-Idiots” The frog lady and the old woman said at the same time.
“A mix of both.” Shrugged the youngest.
“Some could even say that guards and idiots are the same thing.” Laughed Filo.
No one responded.
The three women went back to fishing and promptly ignored the two, so they continued to walk to the city. More and more people were on the road, the majority wearing brown clothes, a mixture of frog people, half-frogs, and humans. Most wore wellies or other waterproof footwear, and other clothing to keep the ever-present wet out.
Where’s all the men? Redshirt questioned internally, out of the hundreds of people that they have walked past, there has been less than a dozen males, most of them children, with the odd doddering old man thrown in. Redshirt realised he didn’t care enough to ask and decided to turn towards the now quiet Filo.
Patting Filo’s shoulder, Redshirt spoke, “Hey man, it happens to the best of us.”
The palladium armour fully encased Filo, but it was obvious from his posture how embarrassed he felt.
“Why didn’t you speak?”
“Didn’t have nothing to say.” Redshirt shrugged.
“Are you not curious about this new world. We do not even know the name of this place.”
“Yo excuse me, you with the big hat, what’s this place.” He called out to another older woman waiting in line for entrance across the bridge.
Jumping she turned “The city of Melitine, praise the Dawn.” She said doing a weird salute, her hands in a o shape above her head.
Seeing this the line all began to copy the hand signal, with a mix of fear and wry amusement. In a few moments a pair of young women, two frog people, in metal shoes and a silvery cloaks walked over to where Filo and Redshirt were standing in line.
“Good morning, sirs…” The taller one trailed of waiting for their names.
“Redshirt.”
“The Philosopher.”
“Ah codenames, from the Dawn Palace I assume.” Spoke the shorter one, “We’ll not pry into your personage, but noble blood does not mean as much outside, especially here in Melitine. Follow your orders, don’t overreach, and for dawn’s sake do not support the Truth-Bound.”
“As if the false Righteous are any better. At least the Truth-Bound respect traditions.” The taller woman muttered.
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“Water-Watcher Callista return to duty. Now.” Commanded the shorter woman, as Callista gave her superior a glare and walked off.
“Come I’ll take you to the Water-Lords and get your postings.” She led them over the bridge, with a proud gait, many people of the city instinctively moved out of the way, Redshirt guessed it wasn’t out of mutual respect.
“You will refer to me as either Water-Lord Tyann or Dame Tyann.” Dame Tyann commanded the two.
The wooden bridge carried them over a raging river that encircled the city, from the bridge they could see the unwalled city.
“Welcome to Melicent, water-logged, crime ridden, and overpopulated, still it is home and the regional capital of the core province.” She said pointing to the multitudes of dinghies, canal boats, and larger boats that moved through the city, the wooden buildings suspended on stilts, deeper in the city a few of the buildings were hanging from ropes tied to other buildings.
“Welcome to Woodside.” The bridges taking them through public areas across the city, “A residential district, the nicest in the city to be honest.” Pointing them to a large building situated in the middle of the Woodside district, “That right there is the Governor’s palace, some travellers find it confusing that the prosperous live on the outskirts, let me hear your guesses why that is.”
Redshirt didn’t know enough to make a guess so he began to think, which is something he didn’t particularly like doing, obviously they don’t fear an attack from outside, probably not for being closer to the Palace, potentially it could be the way the city naturally grew, but then they would just relocate, could be the way the water flows… probably not. Man, I’m just gonna pretend I can’t speak. Redshirt decided in the few moments of silence as Dame Tyann waited for their answers.
“It is only a theory of course, but I assume that the water, which is obviously the life blood of civilization, is flowing from the Palace, down the hill, and eventually leaving from the other side of the city, and therefore this clear water is much dirtier on that side of the city, which most likely means that part of the city,” pointing towards the rotting buildings surrounded by brown water that people swam through, “is where the proles reside, and therefore the majority of the criminals reside. Well, that is if the local laws are focused upon maintaining the status quo by targeting those in a precarious socio-economic situation.” Filo spoke with surprising pose and eloquence, which Redshirt noted was a stark difference from his normal manner of speaking.
Nodding Dame Tyann walked into a giant wooden hall, the carvings around the hall inlaid with precious metal, she rubbed one of the carvings and turned towards Filo, “Water-Captain Philosopher you will be seeing that precarious socio-economic situation in depth very soon.”
“Pardon Water-Lord.”
“That part of the city, Browntown, unfortunately has a distinct lack of Ironboot presence, that will be your jurisdiction, you have a good mind, you’ll have to use it over there.” Turning towards Redshirt she continued, “I’ll still take you to the other Water-Lords, find something… suitable.”
Inside the building lay a great hall, seats surrounded a lowered plane, Water Lord Tyann led them in, upon the plane stood two Ironboots and a third kneeling frogman, his body covered with bruises and cuts, around the hall sat hundreds of Ironboots sectioned of into six distinct groups, with what must be a Water-Lord sitting at the forefront. The majority of the groups had around a few dozen too a hundred members, though the sixth grouping of guardsmen were only ten in number, and without a Water-Lord probably Filo’s new jurisdiction Redshirt thought.
A shout brought his attention back to floor, “The verdict?”
“Death.” The room echoed back.
The prisoner began to thrash and plead, “It was only a little theft; I’ll have the tax soon, I promise.”
His pleading was in vain, four guards walked in, cloaked in black, they carried a thick grey tub, as they walked down the stairs water sloshed onto the feet of the watching Ironboots.
The grey tub was place in front of the frogman, they grabbed his head and dunked him, I don’t think a frogman can drown, the Ironboots clearly knew this however, and one of the black clothed Ironboots drew a knife and slashed it across the struggling frogman’s throat.
The water bubbled red.
The room was almost in a celebration, more similar to a North London Derby, than watching a man die, Redshirt thought while still copying the actions of those closest to him.
Filo however played no such act, but it was obvious Redshirt’s friend was holding in his thoughts.
Eventually the body was dragged out of the room, and the pandemonium abated.
A Water-Lord with long flowing grey hair spoke, her very voice commanding attention, “Now that is dealt with, are there any other matters to bring before the assembly before the day begins in earnest?”
“Yes Water-Lord Kallisa.”
“Ah Tyann we were wondering where you were, I thought all your little boys had lessons in the morning, but ah what do I know.” Tittered a different Water-Lord, this one clearly much younger than the others, and one of the only males near the front of the assembly.
"Sweet Dewy you speak of boys as if you are not one yourself. I wouldn’t be surprised if you found yourself on my menu.” Water Lord Tyann shot back while the majority female room began to laugh and jeer themselves. A few males looked visibly uncomfortable, though most at least pretended to laugh along.
Filo also joined in the laughter, Redshirt did not wish to throw dirt on his friend’s name, but he guessed that most of the meaning behind what was being said was flying over Filo’s head. Though Filo might have joined in for the same reason Redshirt did earlier, to fit in. He didn’t have the mark of Filo yet, he seemed so aware one moment, and incompetent the next.
Still, he was a nice guy and that was all that really mattered.
Redshirt hoped that what Water-Lord Dewy was saying was an exaggeration, or she was using the word boy as an attack against the youth of Water-Lord Dewy, rather than an actual description of her preferences.
“Yes, yes very entertaining but get on with it, Lord Tyann, some of us actually have work to do.” Spoke a heavily scarred woman, the gills on the left side of her neck completely shredded, her voice raspy, and her eyes constantly darting around the room.
Almost everyone over the age of 30-ish had a few scars however the Ironboots behind the grizzled Water-Lord took it to an almost sickening level.
The Water-Lord standing with the attention of the entire hall upon her gestures to Filo, “Fellow Watchers the palace has finally deigned to acknowledge the vital role we play in the glorious Empire.” Tyann began while she gestured for Filo and Redshirt both to join her in the centre of the hall.
“The Basileus,” doing the same salute from earlier Tyann continued, “Praise the Dawn- “
Redshirt was ready this time and joined in with the rest of the room in their own copying of the salute.
“-in his limitless wisdom, aided by the Truth Bound and the rightful heir Amasis Thiophane- “The Water Lord paused, seemingly shocked by the ardent hisses and jeers that came from sections of the rooms “have rewarded our prestigious order with two fine additions to the water watchers of Melicent.”
“Hear, hear.” Bellowed a nondescript Water-Lord seated near the smallest division of Ironboots.
“It has been too long since Browntown had a true dignified presence ruling over it, so The Philosopher, noble and well-bred as he is, shall be our new captain of the Browntown water watch, under my command of course.” Polite applause rang threw the room as Filo took his seat in front of the smallest and most raggedy group of Ironboots in the assembly.
I pray he does well over there, Redshirt thought as he saw one of the Browntown Ironboots mutter “Welcome to hell.” As his friend sat down at the head of his group.
“Now esteemed Watchers I place the onus of direction of this young boy in your hands.” The Water-Lord bowed, primarily towards to the side of the room furthest away from Filo and his Browntown command.
Redshirt looked around the room, most seemed disinterested in him, though Water-Lord Dewy kept rolling his eyes as Tyann strutted around the room, there was some conversation about him being sent to basic training, working within the assembly, or even joining Water-Captain Philosopher in Browntown, Redshirt hoped for the latter.
“The blender.” A whisper from the very top stand, directly behind Water-Lord Kallisa’s command.
“Blender.” Picked up across the room.
“Blender.” Another croaky voice joined in.
By the fourth repetition the word seemed to be surrounding Redshirt.
By the tenth repetition the room shook with exuberance, in an almost religious like state of exaltation like when they killed that Frogman, Redshirt thought as he debated if he could make it to the doors without being stopped.
Water-Lord Tyann held up her hand, her eyes glittering as the room went silent upon her command.
“Stand, for this Redshirt here to earn his stripes, in the Blender.”
The room exploded in noise. Out of the hundreds, only a single Ironboot lay in their seat.
The chant was picked up again.
“Blender!”
“Blender!”
“Blender!”
Quest Given Rewards Attract the Attention of the Mantis A Prestigious Position within the Dawn Palace Survive the Blender Singular Trait Gained Ensure that the Other Victims Survive 14/14 Secondary Trait Gained Reach the End of the Blender ???
Oh, piss off.
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