《The Struggles of a Modern Vampire》Journal Entry 4 - Richard tries Tinder
Advertisement
I burned my bedding.
It happened a week ago. I didn’t want to admit it, but I must.
I wanted to feel the touch of a woman again. Since I was subjected to the debauchery of the Prawn Hub, I have felt myself longing for company. Ergo is fine, yes, but he isn’t one for conversation. He’s good for hanging clothes on and he’s incredible when it comes to staring contests (our longest was three weeks), but alas, I desire something more.
A female.
Usually, I don’t fraternize with cattle. They are for eating and playing with; However, it has been a while.
When Ergo came back from the charity collection, I asked how to best find an unmarried female that I could spend the night with. For a zombie, he is surprisingly well versed in the subject.
“Tinder,” he said in a vacant yawn. Personally, I don’t see how firewood can help to attract a possible mate. But then again, times have changed.
I opened up the eyepad and I must tell you, my cold blood began to get hot under my cravat.
So much cattle for the picking. Young, old. Blue eyes, green eyes. Black, white, and everything in between. It was like a catalogue for the eyes. A buffet for lusting, like picking which slice of steak you wished to have at the village butcher.
So many unmarried women on show just waiting to have their flowers taken. More impressively, the paintings which they had of their faces were so lifelike! I must find what artists they have. I asked Ergo if Michelangelo was still available as he owes me a favour. Who do you think kept the Guardia away whilst he painted the Sistine Chapel?
“Dead,” Ergo said, amidst mid sweeping of the basement. Damn, I thought. He still owes me a sack of barley.
My spirits were deflated. How was I to attract a mate if I didn’t have someone to paint my picture to display on the market? I instructed Ergo at once to paint me. To my surprise, Ergo told me to wait whilst he went to check the storage cupboard in the next room.
Advertisement
Four hours later, he returned. A camera. A huge brown box-looking thing that if dropped could kill a small child. I wondered why I had ever forgotten about it?
My spirits reignited, we lit all of the candles and I posed in my finest garments on the staircase. I let my hair down and stood proudly with my cane. The same look that made Queen Mary Tudor swoon in 1554. Ergo took the photos and to my dismay, they came out blank. Of course, I thought to myself remembering why I had put the blasted thing away. I don’t have a damn reflection.
I decided to use a photo of an aristocrat instead. It seemed fitting, however, I looked better.
Then, it was time to fill in my biography. Thankfully, I was quite the scribe back in my youth -
Dearest lover,
I hope this message finds you well. I wish to fornicate with you and dance with you in my castle grounds under the stars as we speak of tales of old whilst drinking the finest red wine and grapes fresh from the vineyard.
I wish to make you mine, less you are already betrothed then I shall send a goat to your husband for the misunderstanding.
I crossed that part out. I ate the last goat two nights ago.
I shall send your husband a parcel of fine cheese.
That should do it. All I had to do was sit back and wait for the virgins to come to me.
Three nights passed before I got a message. I was sleeping inverted, hanging from the castle walls. Ergo came to find me holding the eyepad. He told me the news and I rushed to him, snatching the device from his hand and vanished like a gust of wind up to my chamber, slamming the door with a terrible rattle.
“Raven,” I mouthed. “Raven wishes to meet me.”
I was overcome with joy. I replied at once, and we were set to meet the following night.
Advertisement
I ordered Ergo to clean the dining room and to prepare us a fine meal. I lit all of the candles and I prepared my bedchamber with wine, grapes, and cheese. I was so nervous. It really had been a while. Ergo fixed my gown and I had him wear his burial garments from 1804. A little dusty, but they would do just fine.
A rapping of knuckles on the door and my mouth turned dry. She entered, and I was struck with Cupid’s arrow. She was tall with pitch-black hair and lipstick to match. She had metal sticking out of her face and the word ‘SINNER,’ inked along her throat.
I welcomed her in and was surprised when she didn’t curtsy. Still, I let go of my old beliefs.
I doffed her coat and placed her at the table where we ate fresh lamb and drank wine. She didn’t speak much, just eyed me curiously.
“So,” I said. “No husband?” She placed the cutlery down.
“I don’t like marriage.” I nearly choked on my food. “Nice house,” she said, eyeing the decor.
“I’ve been here for three hundred years.”
“You’re old.” I didn’t let the comment vex me. I imagine if this young lady hasn’t ever been touched by a man before, given the absence of a wedding ring, I imagine her courtship is as virgin as her.
After the meal, we went to the study where I recited her Shakespeare’s King Lear in its entirety. In the final act, she moved to me and kissed me. Well, dear reader, my appetite for flesh became ravenous.
At once, I picked her up in my arms and carried her up the four flights of stairs to my chamber. Ergo had taken her bag and placed it by the bed. Undressing her, she had metal stapled into her nipples and dare I say not a single hair on her body below her eyebrows. It was all rather bizarre, but I didn’t care, and given how friendly she was being to me, I could only presume she didn’t care either.
She grabbed her bag and went to the bathroom. I sat splayed over the Persian bed sheets in my naked form and awaited her return eagerly.
She returned, and I began to wonder what I had gotten myself into.
She was clad head to toe in leather and underwear pulled so high she must be able to taste it. In her hand, she had what I can only describe as a cat of nine tails. She turned and bent over and I cannot dare say what she had inserted in herself. But it glittered.
She moved to the bed and witnessed my slack jaw expression. She laughed and removed the instrument and tossed it on my chest. I jolted, and the silver glittery horn lay discarded on my pillow.
She descended on me, and I can only describe what happened next as savagery.
I have been burned at the stake. I have been tied to the rack. I have been hung, stabbed, dragged along city streets tied by my legs to galloping horses, and nothing can compare to the unholy insubordination that I was subjected to. When she had taken everything I had to give, she took one of my candles and inserted it in herself, and then did the same to me.
She left just before dawn, and I lay there staring at the ceiling of my four-poster bed. I have never been a fan of holy water, but I feel I need to bathe in it.
I burned the candles and the horn that same night. Along with my bedsheets.
I think I’m in love.
R.W
Advertisement
- In Serial6 Chapters
Son Of A King
In the land of Alkebulan the rules of the ancestors' reign supreme. What happens when a king saves a twin who was meant to die...
8 154 - In Serial13 Chapters
Pistol Sunday
Deep within the heart of the bustling megacity of New Dwarden lies the symbol for life’s innate need for ingenuity and adventure. Under the city’s many winding gears, towering metallic homes, and exploding pistons, are the mysterious Midnight Trains. While the train’s purposes aren’t entirely known by the public, most know them as the divine bridge between the spirit world and the land beneath their feet. Some say the trains were gifted from the spirit world in an effort to achieve complete harmony between spirits and humans alike while some note a more nefarious construct of warped human desire. Nevertheless, it is known that when a ticket to board a Midnight train is printed, the passengers must “oblige”. Tonight’s ticket is a very special one and with it comes a request for a journey beyond the tracks. Welcome aboard the famous Whisky Sunday on it’s most infamous of nights. Book Cover by "Steam Junk", find "Steam Junk" at https://www.pinterest.com/pin/298293175288781763/
8 186 - In Serial29 Chapters
Kim Jae eun | BTS 8th member
This is a story about Kim Jae eun , the only female member. How will she survive in the music industry?, how will she react to other idols disliking her ? How will she react with members being overprotective? How did she react when she realized 2 idols were her siblings? Or how will she cope with he father's passing ?Read and find out ! ⚠️requests are open ⚠️⚠️please don't be silent readers ! Comment! ⚠️❤️Also if you need a book cover I can make one for you ! ❤️
8 117 - In Serial23 Chapters
Flutterdash: Star Player
Fluttershy is a quiet, shy girl at Canterlot High. Her friend Rainbow Dash is the exact opposite, loud, extroverted, and a star athlete. When these two best friends fall in love, can they survive the trials that come with being a couple in high school?
8 84 - In Serial80 Chapters
The Healer Demands Payment!
THIS STORY IS NOT MINEFOR OFFLINE READING PURPOSES ONLY我們醫修救人要錢Author: Tang Shan Yue 糖山月Translation from: Aerial Rain(aerialrain.com)In the past, there was a small cannon fodder who wholeheartedly dedicated herself to the medicinal path.Only after dying once did she learned that even if she was brilliant, she could only be an insignificant side character used to emphasize the female lead's limelight. Any relationship with the male lead and other supporting male characters would bring her bad luck.When going out to collect some medicinal herbs in Qingfeng Valley, she kindly rescued a male side character. The man woke up and saw the female lead and became eternally grateful to her instead. He thought that the monster that hurt him was brought by the small cannon fodder so she was punished.The cycle repeated and eventually everyone she saved blindly loved the righteous female lead. Ultimately she was killed by one of the men who was entangled with the female lead.......So after her rebirth, she began to firmly adhere to the principle of 'pay me first, then I'll cure you'.Male cannon fodders who love the female lead, charge them triple fee!Male side characters who ambiguously entangled with the female lead, charge them 10 times!Male lead, the most important one, charged him 100 times!She single heartedly insisted on using money to distance herself from those men and drew a clear boundary between them. But her ability was too high, that the male lead and side characters from all over the world always came to her for help...She finally became the richest person in cultivation world!***If you can, please read this on (aerialrain.com) and support the translator❤.
8 143 - In Serial42 Chapters
Solangelo
This is a cute solangelo story after what happens in blood of Olympus. Enjoy!This is completed! (And really old if u hate it I don't blame u I have recent books that are MUCH better)-this was written when I was 11-12. I am much older and have become a much more skilled writer-
8 128