《God Chef Rordon Gamsay》God Chef Rordon Gamsay: Chapter 3
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As I am resting against this tree, I hear footsteps off to my right slowly approaching.
“Yo, is this guy dead?”
“He can’t be, it doesn’t look like there are any wounds on him!”
“If he was dead, he’d be pretty weak considering it would’ve been goblins to kill him.”
“Ay man, you dead?”
One of the unknown voices calls out to me, I respond my opening my eyes, hopping up, and by replying with, “Yes, you doughnuts!”
“Wow, no need to be rude” one of the unknown voices replies.
“Sorry I sounded rude, a force of habit. So anyway, who are you guys?” I apologize and wait for their response.
“Ah, I’m Char, a bard, and the leader of this rag-tag group!”
“Mija, magician.”
“Jesse, I’m the priest of this group. Because these boys would die without me.”
“Mallory, I’m a fighter, pretty skilled one at that. At least that’s what I’d say.”
“Nice to meet you guys I’m Rordon, what are you doing out here?”
“Oh we’re just passing through on our way to Hafeld, we just got done with a quest.” [Char]
“We just got done with a big quest! We bagged about… 36 goblins from a goblin encampment to the east?” [Mallory]
“It was 43 actually…” [Mija]
“37, 43 what’s the difference?” As Mallory shrugs her shoulders, I spot a small group of people moving towards us in the distance. “Hey guys, you might want to check those people coming up to us” As I finish saying that, the group calls out to us
“Hey there friends, I see you have some goblin corpses there! Mind if I take ‘em?” The unknown man lets out a guttural laugh1.”
“Hell no dude? We don’t even know your name, so just piss off” [Char]
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“Ah thanks for reminding me, my name is Sige! The rest of the people in my party don’t really matter. Hand over the corpses, or you’ll be the corpses.” Sige states this in an authoritative voice and begins to take out his bardiche2. The light from his weapon gleams into my eyes, slightly blinding me, while Char starts his reply.
“Well then Sige, I’m sorry to say tha- FUCK YOU MAN, THESE GOBLINS ARE OURS YA CUNT”
A few seconds pass, then Sige yells “GET TO YOUR POSITIONS”, his party spreads out around myself and the adventurer’s group I’m with. Mija starts to chant something, I don’t know what it is, but I assume it is magic. Char comes close to me and asks “Can you act as a rearguard so the enemies behind us don’t get Mija? Mallory can handle the ax-wielding leader.”
“You got it!” I reply quickly and move in to protect Mija. Four people start to come towards us, Mija finishes his casting “PARALYSE”. The four people originally coming towards us fall over, and I finish them off. As I am finishing them, I turn behind me to see Mallory being flung off, blood trails from her while she flies through the air, and hits a tree.
“Who’s next!” The barbaric man yells, I rush towards him as he starts to swing down his weapon onto Char. I bring myself, and my sword under his vicious swing and block it. I’m driven downwards by the sheer force of his swing.
Again, Sige swings towards me, I deflect it with the back of my blade, the collision of metal against metal screams in my ears. He staggers for a moment but keeps pushing forward. Another swing, and this time it grazes me, the tearing of fabric is heard, and a pain in my arm appears. Sige hits me with the handle of his weapon, pushing me backward into a nearby tree, and then I’m grabbed by my collar and held against the tree. A sudden burst of power comes from within, strong enough to have me properly wield my sword, and stab it into his chest while I’m held. Sige looks down to see his wound, the clothing surrounding the area is wet with blood. He slowly loosens the grip on my collar, and starts falling backward, the life seemingly drained from his eyes.
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As he falls backward onto the ground, I see something black leak out from behind his eyes and float off into the air. I turn around to hear Char yell “Holy shit, you took out a bandit leader! That’s at least an Advanced ranked quest!” When I go to face him, a searing pain shoots through my whole body, causing me pass out in the middle of the forest, while Char and Mija check up on Mallory.
DING! Level Up!
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The Ginsu Mage
Currently in queue: Episode 13 in progress. Set in the Aurora: Apocalypse universe.Updated every Friday. If it's not updating, I'm working on my other fictions.If nothing's updating, I ran out of whiskey. Be patient. The Gunsu Mage is a hot mess of garbage that should not be taken seriously by anyone. It’s a vaguely-GameLit spoof of Isekai wa Smartphone to Tomoni (In Another World With My Smartphone) where the MC ends up in another world and fused with his kitchen applicances, mashed up with fantasy western elements. Dungeons & Dragons meets the Wild West in an alternate high-fantasy timeline. Guns & Goblins. Cowboys & Wizards. Locomotives & Dwarves. Don’t expect great writing, accurate numbers, or common sense. Hell, don’t expect anything — just relax and let it happen.
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