12

The intrepid heroes, after a quick siesta,

And fiesta, travel to old barn McDonald's

No time to marvel at the farm's flora/ fauna

They use Duff's spare keys, to whom McDonald farm willed

As his rightful heir and successor. Duff don't care

About the farm though. The tavern's his rightful lair.

"All right," Thor says, reading the sacred chalk drawn glyphs

On the inside of the barnhouse walls. Mockingbird burps.

"Silence," Thor thunders, "can't make a single mistake."

"Yeah, quiet," says the Bird, "or you'll get the damn herps!"

"First the sacrifice," Thor says, hidden pockets provide

He magicks a fire, exactly ten square feet wide

"Oranges and lemons for Saint Clement's" he chants,

"Five farthings for the bells of Saint Martin's," he rants.

"Eh?" says Mocking Bird in glee,"did you say farting?

If I could do that, I'd make the sea a parting!"

"Demon bird," Thor hisses, "just be quiet and still

Or I'll roast you with parsley, sage, rosemary and dill!"

Thor throws in the fire his various offerings

While Mocking Bird mutters his vulgar proferrings

Thor dances around the fire, "ringa ringa Rosie,"

He then falls down and begins the final sacred chant

Thunder roars with his splendid syllables, "Ee Ai Ee Ai..."

Mocking Bird completes the magical ritual, "Uh Oh!"

13

The Yggdrasil is summoned! Its branches swallow

The adventurers like a matador's "Toro".

Their destination reset by the bird's outburst

They disembark far away from Valhalla! "Curst

Curst curst curst demon bird!" growls Thor, spitting out sand,

"Look where you've brought us, this vile and deserted land.

(When we reach there, Sæhrímnir's food you'll share)"

From this scene let us move to one quite contrary

And witness the happenings of Anna and Mary!

----fade out---

----fade in ---

Scene: A colourful Parthenon, surrounded by

Arguing philosophers and yellow brick roads

Beautiful princesses and existential toads

Dueling dualists and material reductionists

Platonic caves filled with luminosity inherent

By stony induction. "Welcome to Utopia!"

Mary says to a newly arrived Anna.

14

Anna recovers quickly, though her head hurts bad

From eager Mary's incessant profound chatter,

Her nurse's bedside manner, makes Anna real mad

Anna cries, "Stop, just stop! Can't bear this mind batter,

Weltanschauung, sine qua non, sensu strictos and propaedeutics, prima facie and otiose percipi!!!

If you're not going to read me the Three Musketeers

Then let's go out, I need to get off my sore derriere!"

Mary acquiesces, with one final "a fortiori!"

They set off to see Shorty, the cowboy philosopher

Rival of Demosthenes, the Demagogue whisperer

"Shorty knows everything about...oh, everything,"

Mary explains, "He'll tell you why we're here better."

They pass by Merlin, a greybeard on a young face

Who lifts his pointy hat, with grace, finesse and zing

They nod their heads to his very polite howdedo.

Anna is quite fascinated, watching the passersby

She stops to watch Plato argue with Thoreau,

She could watch this forever she thinks... Until

She sees nude Nietzsche playing the didgeridoo

15

Cowboy philosopher Shorty

Greets them with a drawled, 'how-de-do'

Mary responds quite politely

But Anna is still haunted by Nietzsche's didgeridoo

"So you want to know whereabouts here is,"

Shorty says, after tea and lemon tarts

"Not a simple question, worth a treatise,

But I'll put it simply, lest I stop your hearts

We first thought it was heaven, when we arrived

Melange of different ages and amazing minds

But then Nietzsche came, and so we then divined

Menage neither heaven nor hell, a space outside time

Where the laws of the universe sometimes go on break

And we've even got an overly pink candy floss lake"

"So, why are we here?" asks Mary.

"Profound question,"Shorty replies,

"The answer could be twenty three

Sent here for a purpose, you were

Just what it is, I'm not sure

Perhaps you'll find an answer in China Town."

16

"China Town!" said Anna, "that's near my house Back to Liverpool, My own home sweet home Where nude men don't keep staring at my blouse" "Ignore the naked man and his syndrome," Said Shorty the fastest mind in the West "His mind is taken up by too much gloam He stares at people, puts them to the test Tries to save all from the abyssal dome Nietzsche's brilliant but his mind's now a mess Leave him be and enjoy the scenery Remember your goal and do not digress China Town's not in Liverpool deary" Mary then said, "tell us where we must go Give us a map before you grow weary" Shorty marked a path for them to follow On a map of space-time he gave to them "This will avoid places of Death's shadow Where I lost my true love, my darling Clem" They took the map and then said their goodbyes They bade farewell to Utopian skies