Day 4 (1)

It wasn't as complicated as I thought it would be. The enchantment was simple, as Alfred had told me, it was a five lines that emanated from the wrist to the five fingers, ending in a spiral at the fingertips. I could tell Alfred had made this enchantment since it both had the flavor of a cultivator and the familiar sensation of his mana. Although it was pretty, just like the unnaturally delicate fingers of the hands, it wasn't hard to replicate.

I had inspected the other enchantments, four of them were what I could feel. Whatever material this was made of must've been refined and processed for the express purpose of handling magic, considering how small it was and how much mana was tucked inside it must be very expensive to produce. The most complicated enchantment was most likely the one used for moving the thing, and for the sake of experimentation I had tried to move the fingers of the hand using my own mana to see if I was right. But, I couldn't do it correctly no matter how many hours I had spent trying.

But this wasn't the point of my task. Focus, I had 29 days left if this day wasn't counted. Although I fully expect myself to be able to complete the task within that time frame I shouldn't make my job more difficult than it had to be.

Day 5 (2)

I had figured out how to move the mana inside whatever material the hands were made of. It had proved to be more difficult than I'd thought, I had enchanted things before but they were more often wood or stone rather than this clay like substance. And, neither the wood or stone responded in the way this clay had. With the wood it would take a decent amount of mana to make a proper enchantment, since it didn't stick to it well. And this worked the same for the stone. For this clay, if I used the tiniest amount more than I needed it would ruin the entire formation of the spell.

But that wasn't all. Creating straight, non-geometric lines as this enchantment required was an incredibly difficult job. With other enchantments the base spell is usually some sort of shape since that was both easier to visualize and to enforce. But with lines, for whatever reason forming it into shape required more than visualization. It was like having to draw a perfectly straight line, it wasn't feasible for those inexperienced. And I wasn't experienced, and neither did I have a straight tool to guide my mana.

I had to practice making straight lines within the little hands, each one being heavily scrutinized for their straightness. I would use the original enchantment as the model for whether or not the lines were straight. The more I practiced making the lines the more I realized how wobbly and imperfect my lines are, and how perfect the original enchantment's lines are.

Day 8 (5)

For the past three days I had been practicing my lines. I dreamt about lines, and when I awoke I immediately trained on constructing the lines. It had consumed me entirely, I've grown to both hate and love the perfect lines within the original enchantments, and absolutely loathe the ones I had made. But finally I had made precisely one line that I could call good enough. It was almost exactly as perfect as the original lines. All I had to do was replicate the same thing nine more times.

Day 9 (6)

Both hands were finished. The lines, at least. The spirals would be another problem, and it's one that I had begun to solve. The loops again aren't a straightforward geometric pattern, it was incomplete in itself and would have to be attached perfectly to the ends of the lines. I'd have to keep the curve of the line perfect, a task that I was miserable at. At first. But like with the lines, I got better with practice. I didn't give up, I kept going failure after failure.

Eventually I had figured out how to smoothly and neatly transition from the line and into the spiral. This is progress, and I would need to cherish it if I wanted to stay motivated. It's been a long six days.

Day 12 (9)

The spirals have been completed. Despite being smaller and taking up less space than the lines, they were much more difficult to complete. Figuring out the right distance and the right curve angle was excruciating, but eventually I had built up enough experience to intuitively create the designs. The hands were finished, I hand enchanted them both. And it did only take me nine days to complete! That was within expectations. The enchantment wasn't a difficult one.

I got off my bed and headed downstairs into Alfred's doll making room, knocking on his door and waiting for him to open. I hadn't seen him in the last nine days, I would wake up and make breakfast, eat, and then head back into my room. On a side note, I'd not use the herbs that Alfred had offered to me. And I noticed there was other kinds of meat within the cabinets, so I used those as well. On the fifth day I found a couple of eggs, a strange sight considering it is still the middle of winter.

If I had gained any weight I hadn't noticed, and if I had lost any, which would be more likely, I hadn't noticed either. It wouldn't surprise me to see a tummy that had gotten softer, but that wasn't the case either.

But that was a digression. Alfred had been taking his sweet time opening the door, and I almost knocked again, but right as I had begun to move my hand the door creaked and Alfred's face appeared.

"Good afternoon, Sir Alfred."

"Yes, good to see you. Come in, I expect this is about the enchantments. Just so you know, I'm not allowed to give you answers or hints." Alfred gave a friendly smile. I couldn't tell if it was genuine or not, but regardless it was a welcome sight. I'm use to not interacting with others, although I'm not used to interacting with absolutely nobody, so seeing the sight of a friendly face wasn't so bad. I nodded.

"I've completed the enchantments." I raised my hand and revealed the two tiny doll hands protected within. Alfred turned his head quizzically and picked both up off of my palm. He, without making a sound, turned around and headed deeper into the room. He kept his attention trained on the hands as he sat down. I followed him and stood next to his table, fiddling with my tail in anxious wait.

I had thought I did a good job, but now that it was being scrutinized all the possible mistakes I may have done was starting to assault my mind. I couldn't control it, and I stayed there, shifting uncomfortably in place, waiting for Alfred to give me his acceptance or rejection. After what was probably a couple of minutes Alfred extended his hand outward to me, the one he was holding the hands in. I extended my hand out and he dropped the hands on top of my own.

"Rejected."

Ah. "Why?"

He stayed silent. I could feel the familiar sensation of blood running from my limbs, the cold prickling of lightening as it ran through my spine. I held the hands close to my chest and waited for an answer. "What did I do wrong?"

"I can't answer. Try again, Eithne." I had worked on this for nine days, nine painful days. And I didn't deserve to know what I had done wrong? Pain bit at my chest, like a tiny weasel had begun to play and twist itself inside of my bosom. This wasn't anger. At least, not towards Alfred, although he did have a part to play in it. It was unfair.

I left the room and quietly closed the door behind me, and went upstairs to try again. It took me a couple of hours to undo the enchantment, but each moment wouldn't be something I'd forget.

Day 13 (10)

Most of the day was spent on lazing around. I no longer had any motivation to do anything, I didn't know where I had went wrong. And Alfred had treated me so coldly, thrown away my hard work in but a moment. I felt hurt, and betrayed, and I didn't know why I had felt all of this. I knew I had to work on the enchantments, but I couldn't do anything. Eventually the thought of doing something else came into mind. But what? I could try going outside. But I didn't want to feel the pain of snow cutting into my skin. I liked being in my room.

I liked it. Had liked it. But that was only because I had something to do, and that thing was a constant task. The numbing sensation of cold wrought skin would be nice to feel every once in a while, maybe. I'll test the snow to see if it was hard enough for me to walk on, and then I will consider my other options. I put on my shoes, and my socks, and went outside. The sun was in its infancy, the blue sky apparent and the sky without clouds. It would be a good day to walk in most cases.

But a five foot tall snow wall stood in front of me. I was only two inches taller, and I could only barely see above it if I stood on my tippy toes. The trees were pretty, their sight a welcome one considering how long I had been cooped up inside the house. I tested the old snow stairs and found them to be still hard. I climbed them and tested the snow. It was fell a bit under my weight, but it wasn't as deep as last time.

I could walk on this. Not far, but I could. So I did.

I headed towards the plains, where there were no trees or obstacles. I wanted to see what the building I was living in looked like from afar, that would be a fun thing to do. I won't stay out here for long, the winter days are too dangerous to get lost in. And that's tripled considering the amount of snow I had to walk through. I was light, roughly a hundred pounds, so the snow didn't consume me as it would a normal grown man.

But I walked. For a while I did so, until I had reached the planes. I wasn't in the best of shape, I had been sedentary for a while, and the plains were a good distance away. By the time I was there, I was tired and in need of rest. I looked behind me and tried to find the house.

Only the trail of snow I had left behind gave me indication of where it was. A door could be seen in the far off distance, but otherwise I could've mistaken the building for a giant boulder. Technically, it was a giant boulder. How did Alfred carve a home out of that? And why? I suppose it'll last for a long, long while. And proper cultivators and magicians can live for several hundred years, right? That would make sense.

I looked around and tried to decide what else I could do. This wasn't a relaxing walk outside, this was a labor intensive tread through deep snow. My legs were cold and numb. I should go back inside instead. Yeah, that's what I'll do.

I retraced my steps back into the Alfred's home, all the while trying not to break any new snow or accidentally overstep or under step each step I took. Better to walk through trodden snow rather than carve a new path, it's easier that way. Even despite that the way back was as hard, if not harder, considering I had to walk up a hill rather than go down hill as I did last time. But I persevered, and with numb legs made it back into the house.

I went up stairs and into my room, took off my shoes and socks, and tried to think up something else to do that day. I could continue to study the hand, but I don't want to work right now. I was wasting a day, sure, but if it meant getting back my motivation it might be worth it.

What else could I do? Figure out the light enchantment, or the fireplace enchantment? No, no more of that. That left only two other things. Eating, which I wasn't up to, and inspecting the dolls. The dolls aren't a perfect remedy for a boring day, but they're not bad. I like looking at them, although I won't say that out loud. I'm a lady, after all. No longer am I a big eared kitten.

So I spent the rest of the day observing the dolls. I felt for each one's enchantments as well just to see if they had any, all of them did. Most had enchantments similar to what Alfred had wanted me to do, and similar to what was already enchanted on the single hand. Some had more than that, but I wasn't paying much attention to any of it. I just wanted to watch, to look. The dresses were as pretty as each of the dolls' faces.

Day 14 (11)

I woke up that day with some motivation to continue. Watching the enchantment in the hand, observing how each one interacts with the other. The mana transmission enchantment daintly connected to the movement enchantment, and the entirety of it was encased within a hardening enchantment, and in the center of the entire structure laid an enchantment I couldn't figure out. Perhaps it was to soften the material? Make it more elastic? I've never seen it before, but I suddenly got the idea after enough pointless staring.

I had doing nothing but stare at the enchantment. I didn't get out of bed, instead curled myself into a little ball and sat in a corner. I didn't get up to eat breakfast, and perhaps a couple of times I had fallen into sleep while observing the enchantment. It moved sometimes, elegantly. As if it was breathing rather than in deformation. But the entire structure stayed as it did when I first saw it. It's beautiful, not as beautiful as the hand that contained it but beautiful. I wanted to mimic it.

But I had already tried, to the best of my ability. Alfred didn't think that was good enough. Many of my things aren't ever good enough, not to the villagers and rarely to mom. There's something wrong with me, I didn't have any motivation and I kept spiraling into depressive fits. But it's alright. I don't want to suffer that rejection again.

So I stayed and slept holding the little hand of the doll, and I dreamed about enchantments.

Day 15 (12)

Once again the motivation began to seep in. Not a deep one, but it grew throughout the day. I had figured out something while I had slept, I didn't need to mimic Alfred's spell to the smallest point. I wasn't a cultivator, I was a magician, even if not a proper one. My abilities differ from his, and I should make adjustments from this fact. I can make the enchantment, but it won't be a perfect copy.

It'll be my enchantment, based off of my understanding of how magic works.

I hope Alfred would accept it.

So I spent the day figuring out how to make lines once again, not trying to mimic the lines I saw on Alfred's. Not the taste, or aesthetic, but the shape must be the same. There were other things I had forgotten to check, that being the composition of the structure of the spell. What magics composed it? Water and wind, and very tiny amounts of earth. The water acted as the medium, the earth as the shell, and the wind as the access point. That was easy enough to figure out, and I imagine the exact composition would be more or less the same regardless of who makes it.

I made quicker progress on the enchantment than I did last time, but there were many quirks that I had to figure out. How do I make sure the enchantment sticks? For a light aligned cultivator, forcing it would be enough. But for me, who is aligned with the dark, I had to make sure the mana was balanced enough with the entirety of the material or else it would be rejected. More experimentation is needed.

Day 20 (17)

I worked out all the kinks in the enchantment. The spirals were troublesome considering each growth of the enchantment within the material required me to readjust the entirety of the material's mana balance to maintain, something I had to do only twice for each of the lines. It took ours to complete each line and spiral, and subsequently took me days to complete both hands. But I had done so. But I was too scared to be rejected again.

So another day I had spent looking at the dolls. I had gotten brave enough to pick some up, and play with them, always being very gentle and careful not to break them. I've grown to be found of some of them, and certain personalities of the dolls had started to show itself.

Day 23 (20)

Or three days spent playing with the dolls. It won't be four, I'll make certain of that. It surprised me how little time Alfred spent outside his room, the only evidence I could find whether he left his doll creation room at all was I that the dolls would return to their original positions after I had woken up each day. Alfred didn't scold me for moving them, which I was thankful for. Perhaps he didn't scold me because we didn't meet face to face anymore.

But too much time had passed. Today is the day. Rejection or acceptance. You won't be accepted as an apprentice until you give Alfred the hands that he wants. I believe in you, Eithne.

Thanks, me.

I was standing in front of the doll workshop door, breathing in and out as I scrounged up the courage to knock. I lifted up my hand and finally did the motions, feeling the wood tap against my knuckles gently. I waited.

The door open and Alfred appeared behind it, like he always does. I was too nervous to do anything but wait for his verbal commands. My tail was wrapped up and holding my left hand, and my right was holding the little doll hands. This time I'm absolutely certain he'll accept me, the enchantment is as perfect as I could get it.

"Come in," I nodded and awkwardly made my way inside, my limbs needing to be commanded each movement, an awkward affect exuding from my walk. Alfred didn't mind, and as was traditional he had me go inside before he walked past me and into his working table. I followed close behind him, as always. Alfred sat down on his chair and gave me his hand, palm raised up. I gave him the tiny hands, and he began to inspect them.

I stood for what felt like half an hour. Member an hour, my sense of time has been screwed with ever since I've been trapped inside this house. I don't know whether I should be happy about this, the first assessment had me be rejected in less than five minutes. This had to be a good sign, there was nothing else that could explain it.

"Rejected."

"Why?"

Alfred didn't answer. Neither was I thinking. My mind was beginning to shut down and anger was starting to seep into the space my mind had left. It's one thing to be rejected while giving a good reason, and another to be rejected just because. I'm a lady, and a lady shouldn't resort to violence so quickly. Let's try reasoning.

"Tell me why." That didn't come out as polite as I wanted it to. Alfred didn't look at me, instead played with the tiny hands of the doll. He shook his head. "Is this some strange oath? A ritual? Tell me."

Alfred nodded. "That I can speak about. I'm not allowed to speak about anything related to your enchantment other than rejection or acceptance. Forgive me, Eithne."

He sounded sorry, and for some reason that was enough to quell my anger. "Give me." I extended out my hand and waited for the doll hands to return to them. I would prove Alfred wrong. There was nothing wrong with my enchantment, it should've been better than the one he himself had made. Why did he reject it? Was I missing something? Was he intentionally kicking me out? I'll pass and make him eat his words.

Alfred placed both of the hands into my palm and went back to his own work, ignoring my presence and most likely waiting for me to leave. Expecting me to leave. In silence I walked out, and I closed the door with some sound, not too much as to disturb any of his pieces but neither was it soft enough to not make a loud sound. I knew better than to anger him or to force him into disciplining me, I think this would be enough of a show of discontentment.

Just you wait, Alfred.

Day 28 (25)

I had spent the last five days figuring out what it was I was missing. I had ran through every line dozens of times, broken and recreated them until I could create it in my sleep. It still took time to create each of the lines and spirals making up the enchantment, but I didn't have to focus. Where it would normally have taken me three hours to complete a single spiral and line, it would take me one hour now. It wasn't magically possible to speed up the process, this was as much as it I could get it to with my current method.

But that meant nothing. I was able to recreate what had already been rejected. I was missing something here, if I were to accept Alfred's word in good faith. What was I doing that the original enchantment was? In my anger I had decided to recreate what had already failed, trying to wait for something to reveal itself despite me doing the same action over and over. Nothing would change, I needed a different perspective.

And the only perspective that offered itself to me belonged to the original enchantment.

So I moved on to the hand and studied it once again. I felt the enchantment, the way it forced the material to bend and shape itself to it. This was something I hadn't done. But I wasn't going to try to mimic his method again, I would never succeed. It would either succeed through using my own method, or I would fail entirely. So I'll rule out that possibility for now.

If it's not the enchantment, then what could it be? I doubt Alfred had expected me to enchant the hands with all the enchantments inside, he hadn't told me to. So I'll rule that out. Then if it's not the enchantment, and it's not the other enchantments either, than that would rule only one possibility. It was how the enchantments interacted, but given that I didn't need to enchant the doll hands with all the enchantments, it would be how that single enchantment interacts with future enchantments. Ones not yet implemented.

So how does this hand do that?

Day 31 (28)

It took me several days to figure out what the enchantments were doing to each other, and what allowed them to work together. Normally an enchantment that needed to do two things or more at once would require the combination of multiple enchantments, but the hand had four different enchantments within the same material that weren't combined into one, and somehow all of them were in sync with each other. Nothing was attached with anything else.

But the secret on how they interacted didn't lay in the enchantments themselves, it laid in how the material was prepared. Previously I had been forming the mana within the material to be balanced only with the enchantment that I had placed within it, meaning it would reject anything else or would require me to recalibrate the mana in order for it to accept and not reject the enchantment. So all my work, and the next two days, would require me to figure out how to do this perfectly.

Day 33 (30)

It was night, I had opened the entrance door to check to see if I had passed by the due date by accident. Luckily, I hadn't. Not really. There was still a possibility of Alfred rejecting my work because I was late, but that all depended on whether or not he considered this to be the thirtieth day or the thirty-first. I knew I shouldn't have been wasting time by idling outside of the workshop, holding and rechecking the enchantment within both hands, but I couldn't help it. I was scared.

This was my last chance, if it was a chance at all. I was sitting in my usual chair, staring at both of the hands while I looked, searched, obsessed over any possible mistake I could've made. But there was none. I had spend three times as long making the lines and spirals to make sure they weren't imperfect in anyway. I had spend twice that in making sure that the material was as neutral as it could possibly be in order to allow it to accept new enchantments.

This was all I could come up with. If this was rejected, then there wasn't anything I could've done better. I may have spent more days looking at dolls than I should've, and that may lead to my downfall. If I had overlooked a single mistake here, that would be it. No more retries.

With the weight of possible failure on me, and the weight of what was worse, of possible rejection, I got up and gently picked up both hands and placed them into my palm. Neither of them were bigger than my little finger's tip, they were small and dainty things. Half of the challenge was making sure my mana was delicately controlled enough to create such elaborate patterns inside. The other half was making sure I didn't lose them by accident.

I walked over to the door and held out a fist and knocked. I waited. Alfred appeared, as he always did, behind the door. He looked a slightly tired, a massive surprise to me considering I have never seen Alfred look anything but his in optimum state.

I gulped in empty air and prepared myself. "I've completed the enchantment, yeah. Please check it." I handed him the hands and he retrieved them from me without a word. He didn't wait for me to come in, but rather left the door open and seemingly implicitly invited me inside. "Excuse my intrusion," I whispered. I'm sure Alfred heard my tiny voice. My tail was wrapped around my left hand, a habit I've begun to pick up.

Alfred had made his way to his seat and I next to his table. We stayed in silence for what felt like hours, but what I had intuitively guessed to really have been no more than ten minutes. Alfred had an intense look on his face, the tiredness having vanished. A deadly stoicism overtook him instead, one with an energy that I could almost taste and see. More likely my nerves were playing tricks on me, I wanted to know what was in his mind and he wasn't showing anything.

Alfred placed the hands down on the table and wiped his hands clean of some ephemeral thing, his hands were already clean so I didn't know what he was doing. The man didn't look at me, instead he closed his eyes and leaned back on his chair and sighed. My heart felt as if a void had replaced its position in my chest. It hurt. "Alfred?" My voice was pathetic, even I could tell.

"Accepted."

How was one supposed to react to this? "Really? Really really? It's not overdue or anything, yeah?"

"You've said 'yeah' twice now, are you trying to pick up a new verbal tic, Eithne? Yes. you've passed."

"Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you thank you!"

I grabbed Alfred's hands, both of them, and dragged him off the chair. A task that was proving to be much more difficult than I thought, he must've been at least twice my weight and I was never one to have much muscle. But for whatever reason he obliged my pulling and got up, a confused look on his face. I hugged him as tightly as I could, I didn't know how else to express both my gratitude and my happiness if not through a hug.

"Are you alright?" Alfred asked me as I tried to glue my face on his chest. Am I? Why was I so excited? What was this feeling welling up in my chest? I hadn't felt this way for anything but for when mom would give me a gift on my birthdays. No, this was a stronger feeling, a more intense one. If it was any more intense I think I would be in pain rather than in excited euphoria!

but I had every reason to be happy, an acceptance would mean many things for me and my future. The first, I would probably become a proper magician thanks to Alfred's guidance. The second, I wouldn't die out in the woods or become some slave to some perverted noble in the near future. The third, my work had born fruit, my anxieties weren't founded in reality and I could finally be accepted by Alfred. The thought of being accepted by him give me tingles by the thought of it.

I don't think I'm thinking straight. I nodded heavily on his chest, finally answering his question.

I might've been hugging him for too long, since he grabbed my shoulders and pushed me away. He looked me over while still holding on, lifting up my chin as if he were examining me of anything odd or strange, and then let go. Clearing his throat he took on a serious attitude once again.

"Anyway, like I said, you're accepted. On the brink of time too. I'm finally allowed to speak to you about what the test was about, follow me."

Alfred moved past me and I followed him closely behind. He was taking me back to the kitchen, probably to have me sit instead of stand for what he was about to say. I couldn't stop my tail from swaying gently, and I had to grab onto it and hold it near me in order to prevent it from hitting any of the dolls. I didn't need my tail or my ears to know I was excited, as both my face and my mood was shining. I'll figure out why I'm so happy later.

I sat on the my usual chair, and Alfred's his, and waited for him to speak. The hands I had enchanted were on the table already, since he had brought it over, and he was fiddling with the hand while beginning to speak. "I had expected you to fail."

What a great start. It shocked me, but gradually letting the words settle and their meaning seep into my core, my smile grew.

"The test was to see how sincere you were about learning and becoming my apprentice. I didn't expect you to succeed. You have, and there's no reason why I shouldn't accept you now. I won't comment on the quality of the hands, I'm sure you know them as well as I do, and I have nothing to say about them. Without my guidance you've met my standards, I praise you for that. So let's move on to what your apprenticeship will mean, and what your oath will be."

Alfred began a lecture, a lecture that had lasted several hours and had managed to wear down on my mood to the point of only being mildly giddy rather than euphorically ecstatic. He told me about the history of his craft, his teacher, his friends, and where I had fit. Then he spoke about the oath and the importance of keeping them. The last bit I definitely knew, if an oath is broken the backlash will be directed at the spirit of the oathbreaker, possibly destroying him on the spot, or greatly weakening his mana output if it didn't. It depended on the severity of the oath.

If the oath requires sacrifice then it has a strong possibility of increasing a person's mana and strength if the oath is adhered to, therefore it's a popular method of gaining strength through sacrificing some sort of worldly pleasure. However, the oath I was to swear to didn't involve much sacrifice, only that I stay true to the path of my craft. There are various other oaths that have been passed down through generations, but this is the one that was essential. Alfred also suggested me two other oaths, one involving following a code of honor, and another to abide by his word when I felt it to be true.

Oaths, as it turns out, aren't an exact craft. Magic in general wasn't, although some magicians and cultivators have been working to resolve that issue. I swore to all three of the oaths. I trusted Alfred. I may not like him, but that didn't lessen that trust I had in him.

If this was a mistake, I would regret it for the rest of my life. But for now, I am happy.

"In truth I had already accepted you by the first of your enchantments. I hadn't expected you to complete something of that quality in less than thirty days. You've given me one by nine, and given me something that rivaled, and in some ways exceeded, my own enchantment by thirty. You're gifted. It's with pride that I will teach you."

I couldn't contain my smile anymore. I don't know what is the best way to express my happiness, but tackling him and roughly rubbing my head against him didn't sound like the best idea. So I shifted and moved in my seat until the excitement abated, which felt like forever. Alfred had a soft smile on his face, but nonetheless got up and suggested for me to follow him. He'll begin my training immediately, he said.