“Ditto who bug ram dimple chores, J?” Alfie asked, his voice coming from the direction of the ash pile.

Was he for real? But what he said almost made sense to Justine. “Did I program what?”

“Dimple chores.”

“You mean tasks? Like quests? You know I did.”

“Nee. Temple cheers.”

“I think he’s saying temperatures,” said Greta. “As in, it could get awfully cold if the sun is permanently stopped from shining on the planet.”

“Oh. Oh. No, thank God. I thought that might be too much for the players to worry about while also dealing with your shadow monsters in total darkness.” Justine tugged on one of the buds atop her head, though not hard enough to pluck it. The thing was definitely attached to her scalp. This was effed up.

“Ya, boy,” said Alfie.

“He’s got that right,” said Greta. “It’s good you didn’t program the virtual world’s temperature to respond to an absence of sunlight over an extended period of time, or we’d all freeze to death. Okay, then. Have either of you looked at your character sheets like I asked half an hour ago? Give or take 29 minutes.”

“That’s a good idea,” Justine said. “The way the game is programmed, we have less than an hour to make our beginning choices, before we’re stuck with whatever our character sheets say. Alfie, are you able to see yours?”

“Aye, matey. Finger licking good. Crimp asinine bots.”

“I’ll take that as a yes. Computer, show me my character sheet.”

The flashlight’s illumination dimmed as a translucent gray rectangle overlaid Justine’s view. Glowing white text appeared within the rectangle. She imagined the text scrolling, and it moved up or down accordingly. Good, that worked as she’d hoped. Justine turned her attention to the content.

Character Name: TBD, Player Name: Justine McAllister

Class: TBD, Level: 1, Fame: 0

Gold: 50

Body Stats: Unassigned

Mind Stats: Unassigned

Spirit Stats: Unassigned

Unassigned Stat Points: 10

Skills: TBD

Unassigned Skill Points: 4

“Right,” Justine said. “Starting at the top. Has everyone chosen a character name?”

“Mine was already filled in as Greta,” said Greta.

“Ash,” said Alfie.

“Your character name is Ash?” Greta laughed. “How did I not see that coming?”

“Aye, matey.”

“And you can call me Petals,” said Justine, pointing at the blooms atop her head. “So… onto class choices. Let’s coordinate here. One of us should be a Warrior, one a Wizard, and one a Healer. The Healer’s skills don’t have to be vocalized and doesn’t require much in the way of physical activity like wielding a weapon or a magical staff, so the Healer should be you, Alfie. That leaves Warrior or Wizard for the two of us, Greta. The Wizard is a complex type to play, and I already know all the details about the class, so it’s best if I take it, and you take Warrior. Sound good to everyone?”

“Bon appetite,” said Alfie, or rather, Ash.

“Sure, I’ll be a Warrior,” said Greta.

“Okay, moving on,” said Justine, aka Petals the Wizard. “We have 10 unassigned stat points each, and three stats to place them on. They can all go on one stat or divvied up. Once a point is assigned to a stat, it can’t be taken away short of losing all one’s lives, so let’s be smart about our choices and not too hasty. I don’t know how assigning any of your stat points to Body is going to work for you, Ash. I mean, I think we might need to buy a vase to carry you in. But if you want to experiment with putting points on Body, that’s your call, of course.

“In any case, first things first, this game being in the horror genre, we’ll want some points assigned to both Mind and Spirit, one to keep from going insane, and the other to resist possessions. Nothing we assign to our stats will allow us to resist attacks from level five hundred monsters, of course. Monsters like that will crush us like bugs. And I can’t even imagine what level five thousand monsters without limiters are capable of. But we will run into mooks around our level, and it would be nice to survive them. We especially want to avoid possessions, because that’s just another form of entrapment that’s worse than dying.”

“You don’t need to explain the whole game to me up front,” said Greta. “You and Ash already know everything about how the game works, and you can fill me in on the finer details as we go. Let’s not mess around and miss out on making all our assignments. Just tell me where to put my points.”

The flower-headed Wizard nodded. “You’re right. Okay then. A good distribution of points for a Warrior is 6 Body, 2 Mind, and 2 Spirit. Once you make those assignments, you’ll be distributing them further, but wait on that. Let me know when you’ve made the top-level assignments.” As for herself, Petals assigned 2 to Body, 6 to Mind, and 2 to Spirit. “Ash, did you make the assignment you usually make for Healer characters?” That would be 2 to Body, 2 to Mind, and 6 to Spirit.

“No.”

“Wow, you actually said, no, very clearly, that time. Good. Did you assign any points to Body?”

“No.”

“Great, so I’m guessing you put 8 on Spirit and 2 on Mind.” The extra points on Spirit would come in handy when healing or resisting possession. Petals probably would have done that if she were in Ash’s place.

“Three.”

“Ah, I see; 3 to Mind and 7 to Spirit?”

“Yes.”

“Great.” Petals grimaced. “Can you say more than one word at a time correctly?”

“Adorn things exclaim.”

“Okay, one word at a time it is.” The female developer-turned-player shook her head. “Now we need to divvy up those top-level points to sub-stats. Greta, if you look at your sheet again, you’ll see that each stat has five sub-areas now: Off, Def, Init, Bal, and HP. That’s Offense, Defense, Initiative, Balance, and Hit Points. In the HP field for Body, you should see 12/0. That’s because you’re a Warrior. I’ll have 6/0 and Ash will have 7/0. On the Mind row for HP, you’ll have 6/0, I’ll have 10/0, and Ash will have 7/0. On the Spirit row for HP, you’ll have 6/0, I’ll have 8/0, and Ash will have 10/0. The numbers before the slashes are your basic hit points, and the numbers after the slashes are the total modifications to basic hit points, positive or negative, due to buffs, debuffs, and damage taken. All the other stat fields show 0/0, the first number being the basic value and the second one being the accumulative effects of buffs and debuffs to the basic value. For your Body stat, you have 6 points to distribute among its sub-stats. Put 2 on Offense, 1 on Defense, 2 on Initiative, and 1 on Balance. I’m putting 1 on Defense and 1 on Balance. Ash doesn’t have any Body points to assign.

“On the Mind row, Greta, assign 1 point to Defense and 1 point to Balance. I’m putting 2 on Offense, 1 on Defense, 2 on Initiative, and 1 on Balance. Ash, I’m guessing you’ll put 1 point on Defense and 2 on Balance. Is that right?”

“Yes.”

Petals chuckled. Balance, from a perspective of the Mind, indicated one’s mental stability, or sanity. She could understand why he wanted an additional point for that. Existence as a pile of ash must be pretty mind boggling. “Okay, next. Spirit point assignments. Ash, are you doing 2 on Offense, 2 on Defense, 2 on Initiative, and 1 on Balance?” If Petals had 7 points to assign to Spirit, that’s how she’d do it.

“Yes.”

“Let me guess,” said Greta the Warrior. “I’m doing 1 point on Defense and 1 point on Balance. What does Balance do as a Spirit sub-stat?”

The Wizard shook her flowery head. “Put both your Spirit points on Defense. I’m doing the same. Balance on the Spirit row is to keep you from drifting to the side of evil. If we encounter any temptation-style monsters, they’re likeliest to go after the Healer, not us. That’s why Ash needs the point in Balance, but we don’t really.”

Greta smirked. “I can’t see any kind of monster trying to tempt a pile of ash to do anything.”

Petals laughed in agreement. “Moving on to skill selections. Greta, take 1 point in Sword, 1 point in Bow, and 1 point in Shield. The other point use at your discretion, but if it were me, I’d put it on Sword. Or Bow, if I was more in the mood to play an archer type. Since you’re new to all this, I’d recommend putting the fourth point on Sword. I’ll take all 4 of my skill points in Spells. Ash, are you taking 3 points in Heal and 1 point in Oust?” Oust was the Healer skill that covered a lot of areas in ridding a body of evil spirits, poisons, and other bad things that could invade a character’s person.

“Yes,” replied the ashen Healer.

“I put my fourth point on Sword like you suggested,” said the Warrior.

“Great. Let me assign spells really quick before we move on to equipment.” Petals made her selections by rote. Zap 1, an offense spell that could be used close up or at a short distance. See 1, a spell for determining the true nature of nearby obscured or magical items. Move 1, which increased the mobility of a nearby target. She wondered if it could help Ash. Last was Access 1, which could help navigate narrow passages or open nearby closed containers or doors. All her spells were level 1, which meant they had little chance of working against higher level magic, but she had to start small and work her way up. “Done. Okay, then. We’re ready for equipment. Ash, go ahead and buy a vase for 1 Gold. I know what you’d buy with the rest of your Gold if you had a body to walk around in, but as a pile of ash, I don’t think a cudgel, buckler, or suit of armor will do you any good. So, if you don’t mind, could you spend your extra Gold on the best sword it will buy for Greta?”

“Okay.” A vase appeared next to the flashlight lying in the ashes, along with a bastard sword, a step up from the traditional long sword a beginning Warrior was likely to buy.

Petals leaned over to snatch the weapon and handed it to Greta. “Do you have 9 Gold left, Ash?”

“Yes.”

“Would you mind spending 5 of it to buy me a dirk?”

“Okay.” The small weapon appeared atop the ash pile.

The flowery Wizard confiscated the dirk. “Thanks. I’m spending 20 Gold on a suit of leather armor and 30 Gold on a magic staff. Greta, buy a suit of leather armor for 20, a medium bow for 20, and a buckler for 10. Specify the color you want for each item, if you have a preference. My armor will be pink, to go with my flowers.” She willed her own inventory to appear, and a 10x10 grid of items and empty slots replaced her character sheet. “You can see your inventory the same way you called up your character sheet. Just will it to appear, or to disappear when you’re done with it.” Petals willed her newly purchased pink leather armor and staff to equip. The staff appeared in her right hand and the armor replaced her slacks and top. The armor was basically a body suit, tight-fitting and thin but durable. Her original clothing appeared in a single inventory slot, the top and slacks together, while her homemade necklace with seashells took up another slot. She had a flashlight that she left in inventory, since they didn’t need its extra light at the moment. The dirk occupied another inventory slot. She’d leave it there until she needed it. “Okay, then, Greta, will your buckler to equip, and it will vacate your inventory to appear in your non-weapon hand. Do the same with your armor. Your nurse’s uniform will go into your inventory and the armor will replace it. Did you see how it worked for me?”

“Done.” A green buckler appeared in the female Warrior’s left hand, and a green body suit replaced her green nurse’s outfit. “Why do I get fantasy RPG vibes from this game so far, rather than contemporary horror? I mean, the so-called armor isn’t fantasy-like, but the buckler and sword sure are.”

The Pink Wizard nodded with a laugh. “The concept is that everyone starts off as a fantasy RPG nerd, disassociated as it were from the contemporary world, which slowly encroaches upon them in a terrifying way. You’ll see. But first, the two basic rules for survival. First, don’t go your separate way. Ever. Second, don’t make out with anyone, not even an NPC. Strays and the promiscuous are the two kinds of people who get picked off first.

“Before we head out of the safe area, everyone, please, review your character sheet one last time. Once we leave the safe area, we can’t make any changes, or assign any points we forgot to assign until we gain a new level. Believe me, it’s happened more than once that someone got a little too hasty and failed to assign a point here or there.”

She willed her own character sheet back into view. It popped up to replace her inventory grid.

Character Name: Petals, Player Name: Justine McAllister

Class: Wizard, Level: 1, Fame: 0

Gold: 0

Body Stats (+2): Off: 0/0, Def: 1/0, Init: 0/0, Bal: 1/0, HP: 6/0

Mind Stats (+6): Off: 2/0, Def: 1/0, Init: 2/0, Bal: 1/0, HP: 10/0

Spirit Stats (+2): Off: 0/0, Def: 2/0, Init: 0/0, Bal: 0/0, HP: 8/0

Unassigned Stat Points: 0

Skills (+4): Spells 4

Spells: Zap 1, See 1, Move 1, Access 1

Unassigned Skill Points: 0

Everything looked good. “Does everyone have 0 unassigned stat points and 0 unassigned skill points?”

Both her companions replied in the affirmative.

“Very good.” Petals dismissed her character sheet. “So, let’s do something about you, Ash. Are you able to move about of your own accord?”

“No. Tried.”

“Okay, I want to cast a Move spell on you. Are you a willing recipient?”

“Yes.”

The Pink Wizard aimed her magic staff at the pile of ashes. Concentrating on the desired effect of his being able to move freely about, she whispered the name of the spell with force.

A stream of pink and yellow petals shot from the end of her magic staff, swirling around the ash pile. After five seconds, the stream faltered for another three seconds and then ended.

“You feel any different, Ash?” The Wizard silently hoped he did, for the better.

The ashes drew up into a column one foot tall, sprouting limbs and a knobby head with sunken, empty eye sockets. Fingers extended from the arms, unaccompanied by thumbs, and the fingers of the right hand wrapped around the handle of the flashlight on the ground. The ash golem attempted to lift the flashlight, but the fingers grasping the accessory broke off, falling to the ground in small, individual piles. The little piles flowed together like amoebae to form a single pile, which flowed over to join the ashen humanoid figure, flowing over the surface of the body, up the leg and chest and then down the arm, to reform the lost fingers. A fissure spread across the thing’s face where a mouth would be. It opened and closed to form words. “Let me see if—”

Ash’s lower jaw fell off. The fallen ashes crawled over three inches of rocky ground to rejoin the golem’s main body. The jaw reformed, but didn’t move in an attempt to finish the sentence it had begun. The golem moved one leg, and it miraculously stayed attached. Setting the lifted stump onto the ground, the golem shifted its weight onto the moved leg and then moved its other one. It took three steps in this manner, and on the fourth step, both legs crumpled beneath it. “Ugh,” said the golem, and its lower jaw fell off again.

“Just get in the vase, Ash,” said Petals with a sigh.

The broken golem collapsed. The ashes flowed across the ground to the nearby vase and up its side, dropping into its depths. “Arrgghh.” Echoes of Ash’s frustration emanated from the vase. A pseudopod of ash raised to peer over the rim of the vase. “Fine. Let’s. Go.”

The Pink Wizard grabbed up the vase, tucking it under her left arm. She fetched Ash’s flashlight and held it in her left hand. Grasping her magic staff in her right hand, she planted one end of it on the ground and struck a pose, facing her custodian. “It’s a good day to die. You heard the man. Let’s go.”