Chapter 22

Corrin

A few minutes later Terrel comes back. “Would you come with me?” He addresses Will, politely keeping his distance.

Will lowers her chin at Sevina. “What about her?”

“They’ll stay here for a while. It’ll be safer for them and for everyone else.” He gives us a once over. “Bathroom anyone?”

Sevina pushes me to the door. “Terrel take him.” She pleads. “You know what’ll happen if you don’t. You know how hard it was for you to watch your sister go crazy.” Terrel tenses. “Please, don’t make me experience the same.”

I step back. “No.” But they’ll lock the door and likely shut off the light, and I’ll be a useless burden for Sevina to assuage.

Before I decide Terrel grasps my elbow and pulls me out of the darkroom. As Sevina disappears behind the closing door she grimaces in pain.

Terrel locks her in. “Quint, he’s yours.” He leads Will down the hall and I hear him order someone else to watch me. Moira’s brother struts to us.

“Well, well, two rats after all.” He eyes me violently.

“Follow Terrel’s orders.” Quint blocks his path to me.

“I am! Others would’ve killed him by now. Even the bitch got away easy. I could’ve roughed her up a little more, but I followed orders,” he snarls at Quint as he tries to shove past him.

Words rip out of me. “You hit her?”

“Yep.” He straightens proudly as if he saved the whole hideout by hurting Sevina. “What are you gonna do about it?”

Dense air collects in my lungs, squishing my insides. He beat her. “You’re a coward.”

“What did you say?” Moira’s brother grips Quint’s healing side, making him yelp, and shoves him to the side.

A strange sensation floods me. As if my past doesn’t matter, all the morals, all my deeds— insignificant.

The thug takes a stride toward me. My fist flies out straight into his nose, so fast he doesn’t even have a chance to reach me. His eyes roll into his skull and he falls backward with a heavy thud.

“Oh!” Quint calls out. “Shit!”

I shake my hand, prickling pain ebbing from my knuckles.

“Corrin?” Sevina’s calls me from behind the door.

“Sev.” I near the locked room, this sensation leaving me. What was that? I punched him willingly. Months ago I said to myself that I’m never hurting anyone ever again. Things change, don’t they? It’s as if I’m really adapting to this life. “Does it still hurt?” I lean into the door seam.

“No,” she says. I think she’s lying. “How’s your neck?”

“All right.” Inside the room, I hear her slide down by the door. On my side I squat too.

A silent moment passes, broken only by Quint’s ragged breathing and my inner worry, so prominent it might as well be a nasty din.

“I guess, I’ll try to sleep,” Sevina says.

“I’ll be here.”

“Actually, you should come with me.” Quint steps to me.

Moira comes down the corridor and her eyes fall on her unconscious brother. “What the hell?” She digs out her cell. “Terrel!”

Irritated Terrel comes back a few minutes later. Quint explains him what happened.

Torn, Terrel glances at me, sitting by Sevina’s door. “Quint, here’s the key.” He selects one from a bundle of keys at his side. “Take him to the roof and lock the door.”

“You should go.” Sevina’s muffled voice from the other side. “I’ll be okay.” Reluctantly, I stand and follow Quint.

The night is chilly and the roof blends into the gloom, but I don’t need a light to navigate to my nook under the piping. From my backpack I pull my sweatshirt, slide into it and lay on my mattress, sighing.

Why did I punch him? I didn’t come here to beat people. I can’t undo what he did to Sevina. The only thing I can do is to further ensure Sevina’s safety. But if he comes again I swear I’ll do worse than that…

No. Maybe I’ll just punch him again… nothing else…

Refusing to ponder about tomorrow, I turn away from Quint, who’s loitering nearby, and ease my cheek against the jagged side of my mattress, calling to mind my mother’s face and rich gold of Sevina’s eyes.

Hopefully, Will is on our side.

…

As soon as we wake Quint and I scurry to Terrel’s little room on the fourth level. Aida leans against the server room door, clocking the safety of her gun. Terrel must’ve persuaded her to hear us out. Sevina’s here too, her back against the opposite wall and her head low.

I jump to her. “Are you okay?”

She barely acknowledges me. “I’m fine.”

“Did they do anything to you?”

An artificial smile overtakes her lips. “No, but it’s been a difficult night. I haven’t slept well, but I’m fine.”

Will and Terrel stride in. Will sits on a stool in front of the desk, leaning on it with her elbows hitched up.

“So what’s the proposition?” Tall in the middle of the room Terrel asks me. “I assume you have something to say.”

“I’d like to hear it as well,” Will murmurs.

“We need to find a man named Dan.” I explained a part of my involvement yesterday when they separated us, but I’m prepared to do it again. “He’s my brother and the right-hand man of my father—”

“Okay,” Will intervenes. “So essentially you two want to take down the Kaynes family. Is that it?”

All, except Sevina, stick their gazes on me.

“Yes,” I let out. “But uh… peacefully.”

“Uh-uh.” Will’s mouth cringes to the side. “You, little shit, are very good at it. So, you find Dan.

What then?”

“I’ll talk to him, he’ll take over.”

“He’ll kill your father?”

“No, I’m certain there is a way for him to…uh, steal the position. He’s in the line for the family, anyway.”

“But you don’t know how?”

“Uh…no,” I admit. “But he’ll do it I’m certain. With our help, with Sevina’s eyes.”

Will sniffs, delivering me an antagonized once-over with an attitude of utter dominance. I do my best to neglect her by brushing imaginary dust off my sleeve.

“That’s it?” Terrel’s eyebrows rise. “I don’t think you would’ve disclosed your ‘plan’ to us if you didn’t expect anything in return. What’s the pitch?”

I don’t know what to say. I have no pitch. It just has to be done.

Sevina raises her head. “You help him and his brother will make sure this gang always has jobs. He’ll make sure you won’t have to fear for your lives each day.”

“We’ll get that, right? You…your brother will support us?” Terrel’s expecting expression bears into me.

I gape, but Sevina says. “Of course, he will. His family could support entire Safety Blocks if it wanted. Corrin’s brother is power-hungry, but unlike his father he’s not willing to kill innocent people.” The statement seems to please him.

Terrel scratches his chin. “Let’s say we agree. Willow can’t take in five new recruits for her supervisor. Three most, from what she told me.”

“This is so confusing,” I murmur. “So your supervisor does work for my family?”

“The crime scheme I told you about, remember?” Sevina says. “If Will’s supervisor takes us in we’ll be in the lowest ranks of your family. That’s what every working member of a gang aspires to be. We do too.”

Willow snickers. “You, of all people have no idea how your family works, pathetic. Crime family’s structure is this; there’s a boss, his hands, then his hand’s hands. And then half of those hands supervise thugs like my capo. My capo… my supervisor, oversees someone like me. And I employ you guys if I need it. You, gangers, are there just for the mob. It is a scheme like Sevina says. Some say even crime families themselves fall into it. There are stronger and weaker families.”

“Pyramid within the pyramid,” Aida voices, pivoting to Terrel. “It’s a game of power, Terrel, we don’t want to stick our noses in there.” For the first time Terrel ignores her.

“Yes, that’s what it is,” Will says. “A… the pyramid of power.”

“Yes, I understand now,” I utter, embarrassed I didn’t know this.

Will bites on her nail. “I can take three of you. My capo oversees minor deals and jobs. I’m the intermediary. If he likes you, he might consider taking you in. From what I know the boss is very strict with new people. No loose ends. So if you want to get in you’ll have to convince the capo first and it’s near impossible to do since I’m a former cop. He doesn’t trust me… or rather trusts me least of all.”

“I just have to look him in the eyes,” Sevina says. “If he’s the capo, he might know Dan.”

“It’s possible but hard to do. Three seconds isn’t that short. He doesn’t like his women looking at him,” Will says.

“I’ll think of something,” Sevina answers, her face still extinguished after yesterday. Now even a bigger challenge?

But, Corrin, what did you hope for?

I don’t know what I hoped for. I went without a plan. Again.

“And if he likes you,” Will continues. “You’ll inevitably receive some assignments. Even without looking into his eyes you’ll have to kill.”

“We’re not killing,” Sevina and I state, word to word.

The rest of the group exchange looks and Will huffs. “Okay.”

“They took you in without killing, didn’t they?” My neck stings as I speak.

“I’m an adult, we have history. I already proved myself when…” Will halts, “when I snitched. You’re a bunch of kids. And mob only takes kids they know will do what has to be done and will grow to be useful.”

“Can’t we just bust into wherever the boss is?” Quint suggests.

Will breathes a laugh. “Sure, mayhem. With no survivors. It’s like I’m the only sane person here, bloody God.”

“The only way to do it is carefully,” Terrel says.

“Beefs’s right. We’re already willing to risk our stable positions for this,” Will says.

“Stable?” Sevina’s restive voice. “You all call this stable? Lack of jobs, oppression, people killing each other. How is it stable?”

“More than it’ll be, Sevs.” Will’s tone toward Sevina shifts, growing gentle and solemn.

Sevina pushes from the wall. “Are you not with us, Will?”

“I admit, I want for his father to die, but I’m going where the best opportunities are.” Will shrugs in defense. “I’m not sure if this is the best one yet.”

“Maybe not for you. But Corrin and I are doing this with or without you.” Sevina nears the desk, propping on it with her arm. “And we’ll get to the top and when we do no one else will die.” Will’s face flattens as she meets Sevina’s eyes. “No one.” Sevina stays blank, but her shoulder gives an inconspicuous flinch.

Again? What are you doing?

I refrain from pulling her away. The room is oddly still as if we feel obliged to stay quiet while the witchcraft is in effect.

“You forgot what it’s like to fight back,” Sevina says to Will. “You flow with the stream. I did too. Believe me.” Barely affected by Will’s life, she straightens, her eyes sliding over us. “Aren’t we all going with the flow? All of us ready to accept whatever comes?” Suppressed rage spills through the calmness of her voice. She’s fed up with this. I am too. “No jobs. Training kids or not. All are conditions you were forced into.” She points at me. “This man, right here, can free you of that. He’s risking his life to do it. When was the last time at least one of you did that? I know you do.” She juts her chin at Terrel. “You’re not the only one. And I understand when you all scoff at people like him, like Corrin. No one ever had any reason not to. But now we do. I am the reason. I may not be much of a fighter, but I can and I will help. This power, it exists. It has to be used for good. If you’re against taking this opportunity let us walk and we’ll leave you in peace.”

Silence weighs on my shoulders until Willow breaks it with a huff. “A bunch of radicals, risking their lives to bring one kid back into his family.” Shaking her head she attempts to suspend her disbelief. “But the hell with it, I’m with you, Sevs. Had I known you have this power in my moment of rage I’d do the same thing this piece of shit did. Your powers are useful. And they might just get us everything we seek.”

No more objections are made.

...

“That’s all you got?” Beside the pile of our backpacks Will cranes her neck at the black crate of weapons, containing only a couple extra handguns.

Since we couldn’t risk anything linking us to the place we’ve left the hideout. Before we departed a haggle foamed between Terrel and another worker he left in charge, presumably over the mess Sevina and I made; we haven’t delivered more than fifteen units. I’m certain he refused to spare us more firearms too.

“Yeah, that’s all we have,” Terrel answers from the front, tinkering with the data between his tab and van’s console while Aida has the wheel.

We took the dark green van Terrel and I transferred the packages in, windowless and a little bigger than the one Sevina and I stole.

While we packed Lenore sprinted all around us, demanding answers. We’re leaving for a while— was the answer she received. Quint tried redirecting her prying. “I left you some pepper.” He patted her head.

She brushed his hand away. “It won’t work on me! Why and where are you leaving?”

“For a job. A longer one.”

To my relief Sevina giggled and pulled a coin from her pocket. “I’ll get you more quarters.” She flipped it to Lenore.

Lenore caught it. “You keep finding them everywhere!”

Sevina quirked her brow, a pleasant smile on her lips. “Yeah, I got x-ray vision.”

“Bullshit!” Lenore screeched.

If I looked at the floor all the time I’m certain I’d be finding money too. But despite Sevina’s openness with Lenore I haven’t got a chance to talk to her privately yet. Even now she sits on the bench, unresponsive to the fuss in the van. Her hands rest in the pockets of a heavy, sand-colored coat, and her head hides in a fur collar. I found this coat before leaving when I hunted for warmer clothing. Barely worn it caught my attention at once. I inched to take it, but gave it to Sevina and settled with a black parka I’m now wearing on top of my black sweater.

“I’m glad we won’t have to return to that place.” I attempt to converse.

“Yes. Me too.” Her answer is unaccommodating. Is she busy in her thoughts? Was she affected so severely by all the lives she saw? Is she in pain?

Once we arrive at the alleyway Sevina and I kidnapped Willow in, Will calls us outside to her car.

The wind hurls against our backs and Sevina hugs herself, strands of her hair sliding across her face. September’s drawing to an end and I didn’t even notice summer float by. I remember my last vacation with my mom. She flew somewhere warm every end of summer and winter, even when I didn’t come with her. I’m thankful I joined her for the vacation a year ago. At least on her last trip she wasn’t alone.

We follow Will to her rusty sedan with quite a long rear. It’s remarkable this…thing still holds. She unlocks the trunk with her thumbprint, but it’d be easier to pry it open.

Before popping the trunk Will observes the alley for people and I draw myself away on instinct. Sevina steps in front of me, shielding me with her shoulder. Right, she’s the only one who knows what I’ve been through…

The lid snaps open with a shiver-inducing squeal, and we all, except Sevina, let out a synchronized chorus of whistles at the stash of firearms. Like a puzzle the trunk is filled with handguns, Uzis, rifles, silvery and black, old ones with decorated handles and newer ones that need programming to fire.

“You said you were just a thug,” Sevina lets out.

“Thugs have to get by too.” Will chooses one of the guns for herself; we didn’t return hers. “No one’s here to protect me as the boss.”

“Fair enough.” Terrel reaches for one, but Will slaps his hand.

“These are too expensive for you.” She lags for a second. “Actually, the hell with it.” She takes the handgun with a sleek wooden handle, passes it to Terrel and grabs a silvery one. “Might as well die with the fancy toys.” Her hand pivots to me. “A special one for you. Nice and shiny, you’ll be able to marvel at all the blood on it.”

I eye it. I got used to the black handgun I have right now and have no intention of picking a new one. It takes a solid amount of resolve to hold it and feeling its shape against my back at all times is even worse.

Naturally, Will enjoys immersing herself in my faltering as she snarls. “Take it while I’m holding it.”

I do. I know I have to. Might as well choose a different colored one. A grin smears Will’s lips as she watches me grudgingly handle the gun.

“Sevs.” A small handgun lands into Sevina’s hands, a more fitting one than the one she now carries. “And this.” A switchblade follows, and another, smaller knife in the holster.

“Really?” Sevina murmurs.

“You’re the reason we’re doing this. So protect yourself.” Will fixes Terrel and Aida with an authoritative scan. “We all have to protect her, got it?” Terrel and I nod.

Aida, who stood silently until now scoffs. “Yeah, looks like we have a new boss now.”

“I’m not the boss,” Sevina says. “Corrin is.”

Will not so subtly contains her laughs of mockery as she pulls two shoulder holsters and two waist holsters that look like straps. “That’s all I have. I saw you were carrying it all in your pants. It won’t do.”

“I’ll carry it in my pants,” I tell her.

“No, you won’t. Quit bitching and put it on. What kind of a boss are you going to be if you can’t even carry your gun properly? Who’s gonna follow you and who’s gonna fear you? Oh, wait, you won’t.”

“She’s got a point,” Terrel says.

“I…my brother’s going to be the boss.” Only now do I comprehend that if we accomplish our goal I’ll have to take my place. No matter how this adventure ends I’ll have to run our family with Dan.

Like you always wanted, Corrin.

And hey, like I always wanted I’ll have my first scar to prove to others I’m worthy.

A worthy moron indeed.

And when I take my place beside Dan I’ll ensure no one else dies or die trying.

Will shuts the trunk. “Get ready. I’ll contact my capo.”

Back at the rear of the van Sevina holds up the strap, stretches it. “It has pockets everywhere, how do I put it on?”

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out with your eyes and all.” Aida wraps hers around her waist. Waist straps were intended for Aida and Sevina, and Terrel and I took the shoulder holsters. I’d prefer a strap.

“I can show ya.” Quint attempts to no avail. Though he knows Sevina saw his dirty thoughts he’s still going after her. He’s persistent, I have to give him that. But Aida’s taken so what’s the guy left to do?

Sevina hides between the open van door and the corner of the alley.

I round the door. “Need help?” She stands insecurely in her dark sweater with her elbows drawn close to her sides, almost embarrassed to make a bad impression. “We can switch.”

“Ugh, no. It works.” She lifts her shirt, exposing the strap wrapped tightly around her waist. “Okay?” She bares her teeth, doubtful. “I think it’s the right side. The pockets are confusing.” She picks at one.

My attention locks on her curves and my stomach flutters. Over the next few seconds I become keenly aware, that Sevina, in fact, is a woman. And a very… feminine one at that. Sure, she’s curvy, I knew and saw that, I taught her how to fight, and she dipped her hand in my hair, which to call beyond relaxing would be an understatement. And, of course, she hugged me once in a dark corridor and touched my back, but all it was, was a gesture of shock value to snap me back. I was focused on different things to notice her as a woman.

“So?” She adjusts her weapon, knife, and one extra magazine. “I strapped it tight, but it feels loose too. I think all’s in the right places.” I blink. God, how will I look into her eyes now?

Holding my breath, I let my hands slide across her waist. “It’s the right side.”

“You’re blushing.” I gulp at her words, retracting my hands to myself. “It’s okay.”

“Okay?” I lift my eyes at hers, a lock of hair slipping on my forehead. I blow it away.

She shrugs. “You’re a man, I get it.”

I almost burst out laughing and she smiles too. I had no idea such acceptance in this world even existed.

I run my hands over the strap. All holds where it has to hold.

It that abs…

Corrin, set your mind straight.

That I do when I notice a dark purple blotch on her skin. “You’ve got a bruise.” I lift her shirt and gasp at the amount of unnatural color on her belly and ribs. “Oh, my God.”

“I’ll be fine.”

I rest my fingers on her skin. “You might have a cracked rib. Is it hard to breathe?”

“I’m fine.” She grasps my wrists, forcing my attention on her face. “Corrin. I’m fine. It’s not as bad as it looks. I can breathe.” She releases me and smooths her shirt, then pivots to leave but my insides clutch and I refuse to take her words for an answer.

“Sev.” I pull her short by her elbow. “You told Terrel not to make you watch, that it’s painful to see someone you care about go through something you have no idea what to do about. You watch after me, you don’t need to ask anything about me to help me. But, Sev, I don’t have powers, I don’t know what’s wrong with you and it drives me crazy.” Not once the words have felt sincerer.

“You care about me?” Her eyes flit to mine every second.

“I do, yes. How can I not after all you’ve done for me.” I lay my hands on her shoulders. “But, please, please don’t leave me in the dark.”

She leans against the side of the van. “I am okay, Corrin, truly. I’m still myself. Still scared. I feel like shit, a part of me still lingering in those lives. They’re still fading.” Her gentle tone emanates honesty. “But at the same time. It’s easier. It’s as if I’m getting used to using my power. And after those men, I think I know how important it is that we succeed. Important for everybody.”

“We will.” Subconsciously, I touch a scarf I’m wearing, and the bandage underneath I’m hiding.

Sevina reaches for it. Since I demanded the same thing from her, no matter the shivers, I let her uncover it.

“You have to rebind it. It’s bloody.” She focuses on my neck. I look around for Will, the last person I’d want to see round the van. “Hang on.” Sevina vanishes behind the door and returns with a med kid. Holding it in her one hand, she opens it and awkwardly scrutinizes some tubes. I think she never patched anybody up in her life.

“It’s that one.” I point at the tube of surgical ointment. I could do it myself, but for some reason I lift my chin and let her undo the bandage. She crinkles her lip. “Is it bad?”

“Swollen.” She scrutinizes the wound, her hands warm against my skin. I wonder if she likes caring for me or does it because she has to?

A deeper sting in my neck forces me to shiver.

“You got to visit the doc. Will might’ve done some damage,” Sevina says.

“It’s fine. I can breathe.” I mimic her previous words. We both scowl, full of awareness of other's thoughts.

“We’ll visit the doc as soon as we can. You’ll check your neck and I my ribs, deal?”

“Deal.”

It’d be great if she liked me. I’d never have to worry about telling her things. Imagine how many couples quarrels could be avoided if one of them knew the other's reasons? That’d be amazing!

“Smiling at my ineptitude,” Sevina mumbles, clumsily bandaging my throat.

“I’m not smiling.”

“Uh-huh.”

For a moment I think sharing this thought would shed some light on our relationship… partnership, but then it dawns on me it’d be immature and Sevina’s in no mood to jest, no matter how much I miss it. Instead, I ask what I’ve been dodging in my head for a while. “Is Willow going to kill me? Did she really mean it?” No matter how I think I deserve to perish the deepest instinct prevails—I want to live.

Sevina’s fingers flit around my throat. “She thinks she will. But, Corrin, Willow’s not a killer. She felt awful when she cut you and she tries to convince herself her revenge is sweet. It’s not.”

“Sev.” I lower my chin, face to face with her. “If you have a choice to kill. Don’t ever do it.”

“I had to choose.” Her voice is low. “And I didn’t. And I won’t.”

Something tells me I was her choice.

“Okay,” Will calls from around the van. “I called my capo.” I just toss my scarf around my neck when she darts from behind the door. “You two and Terrel. I’ll get you to him.”