《Sent to the Slush File》Is the world shifting beneath me?
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I wave at the bartender until she looks my way. It only takes a few passes of my hand. Its good to be good looking.
Or it might be that there’s a total of three other patrons here. It its mid day isn’t it? I turn to peer through the window and nod. Its definitely still daylight.
She stops beside me and purses her lips.
“Pour me a drink.”
“You might want something to eat with that.”
“Are you suggesting that I cannot-“ I pause and peer at her as she multiplies before my very eyes.
Okay. Thats telling isn’t it?
“You’d best bring me a plate of whatever you suggest. Just bring the drink around quick yeah? I’m already empty.”
Something about the way she looks at me has me squirming. Maybe its the raised eyebrow, the flared nostrils, her thin lips turned into a full scowl. Does she like me? Perfect.
“Where’s my drink then?”
She breathes hard through her nose and walks away.
Ha. I’ve still got it.
From my pocket I pull an old bolt and move it about between my hands. Its smooth metal is something that none of the bumpkins in the room have ever seen.
I watch as she moves to the back and hear the rustling of the pots. Damn she’s forgotten me. Oh well.
Looking about the room I find only other solitary customer in the place. A small thing. A bit to thin for my tastes but healthy enough.
Standing, I make sure to sway with the building moving this way and that as I make my way over to her table and lean against the smooth stone of the table. I shove a hand toward her and she pulls her hand from her mug to place her onw in mine.
I lock my eyes to hers and bow. “Truly a pleasure, yours of course, I’m Cricket Coil but you can just call me Crick. Really its what everyone calls me.”
She nods though she looks unsure.
“We’ve met twice now. I’m Crane.”
I peer closer, she does look familiar. “Apologies miss. You meet alot of people while you travel about as I tend to. But when you’re right, you’re right! Ha! Crick and Crane, what a wonderful pair our names make.”
Slipping my free hand into my pocket I slip the first of my bands around my palm and smile at the girl.
Loosing her hand I toss the bolt into the air and as she follows it up I take hold of her cup.
She doesn’t notice.
Clenching my hand I pump power through the band and hold it beneath the bolt and it goes jumping back into the air.
“Why once I met this funnny fellow. A privateer which is just a fancy name for a pirate. He likes his colleseum fights. He told me this story about his fellow privateer. Aramas. I think his name is. Aramas was fighting for the freedom of a couple slaves and rained iron balls on his enemies.”
I pause for a sip the drink and switch the bolt to my other hand.
“Not a fan of slaves meself but one can hardly expect everyone to think the way you do of course. Anyway Aramas is trying to get the remaining ones to quit and most do see, they’d rather run then die. An’ this one guy, he doesn’t give up, refuses to. And this guy he starts yelling at Aramas to just snap the guys neck see.”
I catch the bolt long enough to mime the twisting one would use to break a neck and smirk.
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She’s utterly enthralled. I take another draft from her mug before continuing on. “Complete with the same movement that I just did see and Aramas apparently gets tired of the guy yelling at him cause he just graps the boy and crrraaaackkk. Snaps his neck he does.”
He winces.
“Cuz of that one action he brought down the attention of a sea lord on hiimself Aramas does. One moments actions set him for life.”
I lift the cup again. It’s empty. A pity.
I turn my gaze to the other table. The two of them are in an obviously deep discussion bordering on an outright debate reallly.
“Crick! I told you last time not to take my drink! You promised!” Crane snaps.
Did I? Huh. Doesn’t sound like me. At least not the last part.
“Right. Your are again right! Allow me to fix that right now. Barkeep I need two more drafts here!”
The kitchen door flys open and she walks out holding a sizzling pan in her hand. “Are you badgering my other customers battery man?”
Well she’s rather angry. Wait is she angry at me? Whatever for?
“My good woman I assure you! I have been the very soul of a gentleman!”
She doesn’t look like she believes me and points back to the table on the other side of the dining room. “Get over there and sit down! If you move again I’ll toss you out!”
“Dear lady, I am staying upstairs in an inn very much like this one! Should you send me scurrying form this hovel I’ll just return to that one! In fact I’ve half a mind to to so anyway.”
She snorts. “You're staying here. I’ve no problems with letting one such as you sleep in the streets.”
Right. There’s only the one place here. Raising my hands I walk sideways as the building teeters to the right and make my way to the table she indicates.
Huh. It looks like someone with the same initials as me has been here already. Well another pair of C’s should be a rather welcome thing than. Now how do I carve into the stone?
Pulling my knife I start to press it to the stone to make the first marks if for no other reason and pause. My knife is in poor shape. I never leave my tools like that. Dinn would murder me if I dared.
Did I lend my knife out?
Thats a pity. I’ll have to find whoever did it and introduce myself. I’m sure a small shock will teach them.
My mouth is dry.
Raising my hand I start waving it as I look for the barkeep. A fine woman she is. Did she slip into the back when I wasn’t looking?
“Oi barkeep! I need a drink! Top me off would you?”
The kitchen door swings open and the inn keeper wanders out. Taking a glass she fills it at a barrel and stomps over to me. Wow someone must have done something to infuriate her.
“My name is, ***, learn it already!”
“Apologies miss. I’m sure you’re having a difficult day if a customer has managed to wind you up so. Point him out, I’ll set him to rights.”
A fingers suddenly in my face.
“It’s rude to point you know.” I point out and shove my6 own finger into her face. “You see? Its not something one does if they’re polite in the slightest.”
She twitches once. Twice. A third time and walks away.
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Lowering myself into the seat I can’t help but notice the way she’s split into three. Maybe I need food to help absorb the alchohol? Than I can drink more!
“Innkeeper I need something to eat here.” I call just as the door swings shut behind her.
It blasts open with a massive BANG! And out she walks with a sizzling pan. SHe stalks around the table and slams the dish down in front of me.
One look and I can tell that it’s not right.
I take up the mug of ale that someone must’ve left behind, and they must’ve been in a rush as its nearly full and take a pull.
A wonderful honeyred taste meets my tongue. Heaven.
Sighing I relax into the chair and look at the food in front of me. Man this innkeeper is good! I haven’t even ordered yet!
But there’s something wrong. I point at the food and look at her. “I appreciate the thought and effort but this is still raw.”
I can hear her grit her teeth as she starts to reach for me and stand. If she wants a fight than— hey what are they doing?
At the table with the two women one jerks her hand back to her side. But the way the woman just itched at her nose is familiar. I’ve seen it.
A knot of anger twists in my stomach.
The shop door bursts open drawing everyones attention. Its a scrawny little thing. Barely looks old enough to call herself an adult really. Still flat as a board though. She walks in and draws herself up as high as she can before calling out.
“I’m looking for Cricket Coil. He’ll be the last surviving member of the trade delegation.”
Hey, I think I know that guy. His name sounds familiar. Still, just hearing the name gets me angry, what did the guy do? Must be a real ass.
Standing is stumble slightly as the building rocks. Must be heavy seas. But I’ve dealt with worse.
The flat as a board youth is in front of me.
“What do you want boy? Can’t you see I’m about to eat?”
I point at my food and blanche. Its only half cooked!
“I’m a girl really and the kings summoned you.”
The king? There’s a king? Pretty sure they went out of style. In fact, when was there a king last?” Baidor was the sixth, him and his need to be a master. Whatever that meant.
“Mister Coil?”
I look up to find there’s a youth in front of me. “Can I help you and It’s captain got it?”
He nods, “you need to come with me the King’s waiting!”
I blink. “Why would the King want to see me in the middle of the night?”
He grabs me. “It’s mid morning! This is your chance to go home!”
“Home. I miss home. If only the damned King would give me an answer I would be on my way already instead of wasting my time here!”
Suddenly a pretty young thing is at my side, though she still skinnier than the ones I prefer. “Crick I’m going to splash water on you.”
Raising my hands into the air I smirk. “You do that! Can’t short me if you can’t reach my ports!”
Wait did I just tell her where to attack? Naw. She wasn’t paying attention.
“***”
Cold, wet. I shiver. “What the hell!” I roar looking over at the innkeeper. “Do you have any idea how cold that is!”
She nods. “Get your drunk ass out of my place.” She snarls.
I sigh, doesn’t she get it? “As soon as the king sets up an escort like he’s been saying he would.”
Someone clears her throat and I turn to face a rather effeminate looking boy. “For the last time Mister Coil. The King has summoned you.”
I look at her and frown. “It’s Captain, and why didn’t you just say so!”
I gesture toward the door and the fools they stare at me like I’m some kind of demented bird in the midst of insanity.
Is the building tipping or is it me? Eh could go either way.
As the boy wanders out I follow after him stopping only long enough to shoot a wink at the innkeeper. She so wants me.
Than I’m in the sweltering air.
“Why the desert? You guys could have chosen nearly anywhere and you got the desert. Granted you chose the only spot in th desert with an actual oasis but still.”
The boy looks at me and shakes his head. “Sir I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Right, of course not. Country bumpkins.
“AAAAAAAHHHHHHH” A woman roars as she runs down the street toward us. It might have something to do with the other woman chasing after her with an awkward looking axe.
I can see that. I can also see there’s something wrong with her eyes.
As the first woman passes me I step into the path of the second and begin charging myself with power. Now I just have to make sure not to die.
She swings the axe in a wide arc.
Ducking down I let it pass over me without issue and press my hand to her stomach. There’s a loud ‘snap’ and she’s hurled back half a dozen feet. Perfect. She’s not dead. At least I don’t think she is. That’d be the last thing I’d need.
I doubt I can explain the death to the king.
Pulling my flask from my pocket, I pop the top and take a long drink. The bitter tea washes across my tongue and I can’t help but atake a deep breath as I feel myself begin to relax.
Bending down I peel open the warrior womans eyes and wince. The white of one has changed to a swirl of pink and yellow.
Rush. A drug made by mixing the remains of a vile worm with several chemicals, boil them down see them dry and inhale. In the space of breaths the effects will kick in. Increased brain output from reflexes to power output. Looks like drugs have made their way into the city.
Not something that’s going to end well. Especially when the king realizes whats going on. The mans proven himself to be every bit as dangerous as any number of overly aggresive creatures.
I really don’t want to be the one to tell him.
“Thats the third this week I just wish I knew what was causing it. Between that and the stabilizers.” The effeminate boy shakes his head.
Stabilizers? Arent those the gadgets that they wear in their ears? I wonder whats wrong with them.
Asking would be wrong. I turn the idea over in my head before shrugging.
Doing it anyway.
“Whats happening with the stabilizers.”
The boy freezes before sighing. “A few of them have started breaking down.”
Well there’s not much they can do about age wearing out the mechanics. And seriously the bumpkins weren’t supposed to be so reliant on the things anyways! Either they’d figure it out, or they’d die.
But such was the way of things.
Beside I doubt all of them would die. Chances are those that survive will become like the halflings. Powerless.
“Can we go now? I’d like to get home eventually.”
The boy nods and breaks into a fast walk.
Its not long before we stand in front of the throne room and the boys all but shoves me in. It’s almost like he didn’t enjoy my company.
The king waits until I make it to the middle of the room before he begins speaking. He doesn’t even bother allowing me to offer a shallow bow.
“I am tempted to keep you here until another delegation comes. However, it would hardly do our agreement any good would it?”
I have no clue as to the agreement, but I shake my head. The more he thinks I know, the better protected I am.
“As such I have selected the fastest team of scouts available and they will be escorting you to the borders of the crescent city.”
Scouts? Right because you don’t want to waste resources by sending warriors when you might need them to defend the town? Gods I wish his sons were here. Any of them would be better.
Even the one that carries a stench about like a method of attack. Well maybe not.
Nonetheless I incline my head. “I appreciate your aid highness.”
He nods and stands. “Your escort will meet you outside the chambers as you leave.”
“I’ll leave as soon as logistics are in place highness.”
The king doesn’t respond beyond waving his hand at me to meander off. What am I stew meat? What an ass. Still, I’m not about to ignore his dismissal.
Turning I stalk from the room and find myself immediately set upon by a well wrinkled woman in white. Everything about her screams danger to me. Damn who knew old people could be so badass!
She presses a long box into my hands. “Prince Vandal had this commissioned before he left. I doubt he’d mind if it were turned over to you now.”
As soon as she mentions the prince I know what it is. The sword. Sliding the lid to the side I take it in. Its shorter than the priinces that I saw but still of decent length and has a bell guard above the handle.
She’s going to love it. I can almost hear her now even! “Thank you so much big brother!”
Ah, it’s going to be a day worth savoring.
I start forward still lost in the depths of my daydream when I bump into something. Takinga. Moment to focus I find its once again the old woman.
“Look I appreciate your giving this to me but—“
She cuts me off by raising a hand. “His highness Prince Vandal has recently began gathering various animals. Howeve the King in his wisdom has seen fit ot decimate them all. As such I would like to order more as part of a rapid delivery.”
Wait the King went nuts and killed all the animals? Huh. I take the money she offers and tie and tie it to my belt.
Doing Vandal a favor can cardly hurt. In for a penny and all that.
“Does the species matter?”
She narrows her eyes at me but its a valid question! Marsh rats sit in the palm of ones hand and can be bought on the cheap where as auroch’s are massive and even one can be costly.
I tell her as much and she taps her chin. “Spread the sizes around and we would of course appreciate more traps.”
“Of course.”
Looking past her I find eight individuals including the girl from the inn. What was her name? Crane? Sounds right.
Crane looks furious.
She stalks forward and shoves a chalk slate into my hand.
“Write up your requisition and turn it in before tonight. We’ll leave tomorrow at first light.”
I don’t bother covering my snort. “I believe that this is a task belonging to the one to whom it was given.”
She looks confused.
“That’d be you.” I say with a sigh.
It takes her a moment but she’s smiling. She extends her hand and I move to place the slate there only to see her blur. Her knuckles meet my face.
My jaw cracks, pain erupts and suddenly there’s two of her.
Did she just smack me back into being drunk?
She rubs at her knuckles as she turns away. “You’re the one who knows the way, the path, the likliehood of hunting and foraging! You’ll fill it out properly as we will all be recieving the same as you.”
“Right than. We leave tomorrow morning.”
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