《Existara》Meditation and Delusion

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I get out onto the deck. The sky’s grey. We’re close. The usual time period for traveling from Existara to Crepitus is about two weeks. We were sailing about a week when I pulled my little stunt. Plus, I was out of commission for another two days at least. Yup. It’s a safe bet to make we should be approaching the exploded mountain range in the next two – three days.

“So, the dead one lives after all.” I hear the familiar gurgling voice announce my come back from the other realm. The Captain.

“Did you miss me that much, Captain?” I ask, sending a wink in his direction. I hear some of the cabin boys’ giggle.

“Don’t flatter yourself.”

“Whatever you say.” I look around. “May I at least ask how are the young ones doing? The Druid and the Shaman?”

“Somebody take this nuisance to where the others are.” The Captain gives the order. At least four youngsters materialize out of nowhere, all equally eager to escort me. I laugh. Cute.

“No need for you to go and look for us.” A soft feminine voice comes from behind the cabin boys’ wall.

“We are quite alright, Milady, glad to see you back on your feet as well.” The young Druid approaches me. The Shaman girl is right behind him.

“I’m relieved to see you both up and around.” I look them over. “I do apologize for putting you through such a demanding task.”

“Oh, it’s quite alright.” The girl seems a little upset.

“Walk with me, you two.” I make a couple of steps and wait for the casters to catch up. I guide them to the front of the ship. We find some privacy near the end of the bow, closer to the port.

“I have a feeling something is not right. Spill it.” I watch the boy avert his eyes from me. However, the girl speaks.

“The oldest Cleanser on the ship told us we won’t ever be able to cast spells again.” Excuse me?

“What?” I stand there dumbfounded.

“Ikweed said that because of the intensity and extremely high level of the spells we cast that night, we were left with only enough mana to keep us alive. No more. No less. We can’t use our spells or enchantments anymore.” Oh hell no.

“I assume you tried casting them. Didn’t you?” I ask again.

“Yes.” The girl continues while the boy just stands there. I feel he wants to be far away from this conversation.

“Sadly, all our attempts were in vein.” The girl tells me.

“We don’t blame you, Milady.” The male Noxian finally finds the courage to speak again.

“It has been great honor to be able to assist you in such a crucial time.” The boy gets embarrassed and falls silent again.

“Zaltem, was it?” I address the boy.

“Correct, Milady.”

“I’m sorry, I’m afraid with all the commotion last time we met, I did not catch your name.” I look at the Primerian girl.

“Aodynna.”

“Pleased to meet you, young ones.” I pause. “You may call me Breeze.” Both of them look at me a bit confused. “Now, let me ask you how much do you know of what you are?” The confusion in their eyes doubles instantly.

“I’m afraid I do not understand the question.” The girl looks straight at me.

“I asked you what are you.” I keep my voice low and calm.

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“A caster?” Zaltem decides to join the chatter.

“What kind of a caster?”

“An Elemental.” Aodynna speaks again. “Well, I am. He is a Ravo.” She adds.

“Partly true.”

“Partly?” Zaltem asks.

“I can see I am confusing you with these questions. However, I promise you, all will make sense, have patience for now.” I see their expressions change. They’re curious now.

“Aodynna, tell me, what happens to an Earth Shaman once they master their element?”

“They transform. The caster’s body becomes the element itself. The caster retains their body shape, but the whole essence of the caster’s being is overtaken by the element. “ Clever girl.

“So why didn’t you transform?” I ask her and see the wheels turn. I continue.

“You casted a powerful enough spell, right? You used the remaining energy of the earth that resonated in the wood. After all, the trees grow from the ground, no?”

“I honestly cannot say…” The girl is at a loss. Meanwhile Zaltem seems to be doing the math in his head...

“Let me explain then. You may have casted some powerful spells but that is only half of what happened.” I look at the boy.

“Zaltem, do you remember what I told you when casting the vines?”

His expression changes. “You told me to only worry about making them big.”

“Yes. Tell me. What are the key elements usually involved in the Vine spell?”

“Precision mostly and depending on the situation whether the Vines cast need to be hollow or not and...”

“Stop right there.” I hold my hand up. He shuts his mouth. “Why do we cast hollow Vines?”

“Hollow Vines are used in restoring blood flow. Right?” He answers correctly, but clearly doubting it.

“Correct.” I nod. “Now tell me, which ones are harder to cast: the hollow ones or the solid ones?”

“Solid.” He doesn’t hesitate on that one. Progress.

“How so?” I ask the boy again.

“Solid vine casting requires more mana because the inside of the vine must be filled up as well, which means the conjuring takes up that much more energy.” Good job.

“And which ones did you cast that night?”

The young Druid takes his time. “Hollow.” He says. I want to ask him another question but he gets ahead of me. “When you told me to focus on the size, I instinctively chose to cast hollow vines because that was easier even with the demand of making them big.”

I smile. “Correct.” I look at the Primerian.

“I have a feeling you might have figured out what happened on your part of the spell?” I ask her. Aodynna’ s hesitant. She’s looking down. Without raising her head, she speaks.

“Zaltem had already began casting his spell when you asked me to help him.” I can tell she’s doing the calculations in her head.

“The divide!” The girl exclaims suddenly. “It was a divide between spells. We combined our magic energy to cast the vines and at the same time we shared the complicity of the spell, therefore, even if it took a lot of mana to cast the spell, we were still able to do it because we combined our magic energy.” Amazing.

“The traces of the Earth element were not strong enough to connect with my magic energy to take over already, even if the spell required an immense amount of mana. But once the spell was divided between us both that resonating energy became even weaker and that’s why I didn’t turn.” She looks down again.

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“That’s the same reason why Zaltem was able to completely engulf the ship in vines. I gave him the support his magic energy needed to perform a spell of such a magnitude.” She finishes talking. Nobody says a word for a few minutes.

“That makes sense.” Zaltem finally breaks the silence. “I did feel only part of the ship’s natural energy before Aodynna came to aid me.” He takes a moment. “And the vines were easier to conjure. Not to mention faster too.”

“Even so.” Aodynna has that same miserable look on her again. “This does not explain why we cannot cast any of our spells now anyway.”

“Right…” The Noxian agrees.

“Aodynna, I forgot to ask, is Earth your main element in training?” I ask the Shaman. Learning to use Air or Water type together with Earth or Fire is quite popular amongst Shamans, as they then can use support magic, together with offensive magic. Or vice versa, depending on the main focus of the caster. However, it is always recommended not to overdo it, as the potency of the spells have a tendency to drop when using more than one “element”. As much as Water and Air type Shamans are similar to Cleansers, there is a limit to their spells, since they use herbal mixtures to cast the spells, as well as using different enchantments to control them. That is why a Shaman cannot manipulate poison. Not unless they learn the right enchantment for it. But Air Shamans are usually there to provide support in a fight, rather than offer healing. That is the main difference between an Air and Water Shaman. On that note, Air Shaman spells are similar to gaining immunity to a cold. The more you are exposed to it in a short amount of time, the less effective the spell is. Those heals are great in the middle of combat, but sadly they do not last long enough, they are simply a temporary power boost at best. So, in reality the only “elemental” type Shamans are Fire and Earth.

Because of the ultimate Shaman spell, that is the Overtake where the caster is transformed into the element, there are more Earth Shamans than Fire. Simple reason – the last trial of the training, where the Shaman is able to obtain the Overtake is one of the two, depending on the element. Get buried alive for Earth types. Or get burned alive for Fire types. Similar challenges are set for Water and Air types as well, however, those two never seem to bear fruit… Earth Shamans have to endure being underground for a set time period. If they are able to absorb the power of the Earth with their magic, within the time limit – they pass the test and obtain Overtake. The idea is, that once you give yourself up completely to the element – you obtain the ultimate control of it, which allows the caster to transform and become invincible. Sadly, for a brief moment only. No power in this world is absolute. For Fire Shamans it is a similar task – enduring high heat for a set time limit. In this challenge the caster is surrounded by Hellish flames and has to absorb them with their magic, to be able to transform. However, withstanding the heat is, apparently, a lot harder than clawing your way out from a grave… So to speak. Hence why Full-Fledged Fire Shamans are such a rarity.

On the other hand, there are plenty of Fire Artisans, that are Fire Shamans. They create “Magic Flames in a Vial” for Mages to use. Conjuring something from nothing is not impossible but is Hella difficult, therefore, there are Magic Artisans that make Magic tools for casters. Like enchanting a tiny flame in a bottle. Of course, that is made using enchanted herbs. Same way medical herbal solutions are manipulated, as it is the enchanted herbs that are being manipulated and not the water itself. A Mage is not able to control an impure element, however, thanks to the nature of fire – the herbs eventually burn off, leaving only a flame, which can be kept alive by providing it with a regular supply of mana. Same goes for Ice. Otherwise it would melt too quickly. It is a lot easier to manipulate a tiny flame into a roaring fire, than making a spark out of thin air… Some also say that Shamans are a higher-level Mages. In theory – any Mage can master the Overtake – they simply don’t and no-one can blame them. The mortality rate of Shamans killed while in training of the spell is the highest one…

“What do you mean?” She asks me back. I’m confused.

“Which element is your main focus?” I ask again.

“All of them?” The girl gives me a blunt look.

“Come again?”

“Milady.” Zaltem joins the conversation. “I have suspicion to believe you are not familiar with the new training of the classes?” He’s trying really hard not to offend me. Cute.

“Perhaps you are right.” I agree. “Would you explain it to me, please?”

“To put it bluntly: Shamans now are required to learn all of the elements instead of focusing on one.”

“I see.” I wonder if that was the bastard king’s idea. “Never mind then. Moving on.”

“Which one of you can tell me what mana is?” I look at the children. Aodynna’s first to answer.

“Mana is a vital part of a caster. Without it, you can’t cast spells and, if depleted of it enough a caster may even die.”

“In other words, mana is a caster’s life force?” I ask her.

“Yes.” The girl agrees with me.

“Ok, then tell me, how does one regain their mana?”

“With potions, minerals, herbs, herbal solutions, spells, even some of the fruit are known to have mana restoring abilities... I fail to see how any of this is going to help us restore our casting?” The Primerian has become impatient.

“Watch it!” Zaltem comes to my defense. Hello.

“What?” Aodynna’s ready to pick a fight.

“What do you mean “what”? Show some respect.”

“Why?” The girl scowls. I can see the anger stirring her up. “We have been standing around here for almost half an hour and we aren’t any closer to casting spells than we were this morning or last night when Ikweed explained the situation to us!” She’s clearly pissed off. She has a good reason though…

“Even so! Lady Deathbreeze isn’t someone you can disrespect like that. Don’t you know who she.. Milady.” Zaltem stops as soon as I put my hand over his shoulder. I shake my head.

“It’s alright.”

“But..” The Druid gives in. “As you wish.”

“Aodynna.” I look at the girl. “I can understand your frustration, but I promise you, you will be casting spells once again.” She doesn’t seem to believe me. I sigh.

“All what you said is true. However, there is another way to regain your mana. That can be achieved through Meditation.” Judging by their expressions, those two are thinking I’m nuts. Oh boy…

“Magic energy is everywhere. It surrounds us every step of the way. For that reason, you two were able to do what you did few nights ago and save this crew.” Their expressions slowly change. I keep going.

“By focusing your magic energy that is inside of you, you can learn how to attract the magic energy to you that is surrounding you already. Just as you focused on the resonating energy in the wood and pulled on it, you can do the same with mana particles and use them to restore your inner magic. That is the main reason how Mages are able to manipulate their Force of Choice. The truth is, this process is occurring naturally all the time, however, it is so weak you don’t even notice it. That is why you need to learn Meditation. Once you attain complete focus of your mind you will be able to speed up the natural process of your mana regeneration.” Their faces are finally lighting up.

“You see, the mana that you have left over from the spell keeps you alive. My guess would be that you received emergency treatment by the Cleansers, to restore enough mana, to keep you going until you will be able to get back on your feet. What these fast treatments do, is keep your life force going. That is all. You are able to walk, move, speak but that is where it ends. For a caster to be able to cast spells after exerting so much magic energy they need to attract the mana from the outside to aid the restoration. As I said. It is a naturally occurring process. Depending on how much mana you use up, it can be minutes, hours, days, months or even decades before your mana is restored enough to cast spells again. See, spell casting is a complicated process. Therefore, it takes considerably more mana and energy. But a caster can survive without casting spells. As long as there is enough mana keeping them alive. Like you two right now.” The kids look at each other.

“Moreover, if the body of the caster has not sustained any physical injuries the mana level will not drop any lower to what it is. That is why even in extreme states of exhaustion the caster cannot die. As long as the physical form is intact, there will always be some traces of mana left to keep the caster alive.”

“In other words: as long as the heart is beating, we won’t die from mana depletion?” Zaltem asks.

“Yes.” I wait for more questions.

“So.” The young Shaman hesitates. “How can we learn to meditate?” Aodynna finally is able to see some hope.

“Will you teach us, Milady?” The Druid hitches a ride on that tiny spark of hope.

“I can, if you want me to.”

“Please!” Both of them bow. I smile.

“Very well.” I pause. “We will continue our discussion later. I believe it is almost lunch time anyway.”

“Now that you mentioned it…” Zaltem looks kind of embarrassed there. Aodynna remains silent.

“How about we meet back here after the meal? I’m sure our cook has prepared something delicious for us to enjoy.”

“Sounds good to me.” The Druid seems in a better mood now. “What do you say?” He gently nudges the girl with his elbow. She waits a moment.

“I guess.” That’s all the Shaman says.

“Great. Then I’ll see you both later.” I bow a little to show them respect. “Enjoy your lunch.”

“We will, Milady.” Zaltem bows. Aodynna just nods. Good enough. I walk away from them. I’m curious to know what that old geezer Ikweed is calling himself a Cleanser for. He should know about the Meditation and he should have explained it to the kids. So why didn’t he?

“Where can I find Ikweed?” I ask one of the cabin boys.

“Second deck below, miss.”

“Thank you.” I smile at the Balli.

“Would you like an escort?” He’s trying to be smooth.

“That won’t be necessary, I appreciate the offer though.” I don’t wait for the kid to come up with something else. Second deck below. I‘m about to take the stairs when I collided with Crile. We stop at a screeching halt just inches away from each other.

“So, you pulled through.” He looks me over.

“Disappointed?”

He doesn’t answer. I’m a moron…

“I’m glad you’re ok.” Crile whispers as he walks by. His breath is too close. I dash down the stairs, shake my head and make the last step down.

“Which one of you is Ikweed?” That isn’t even a question. It’s a demand. A man in grey-ish robes stands up.

“That would be me, Druid.” I walk over to him and extend my arm.

“Deathbreeze, pleased to make your acquaintance. I believe you were the one to look after the youngsters after our little show a few nights ago?” He hesitated to take my hand. For a good reason too.

“Pleasure.” Ikweed shakes my hand. “I assume a handshake isn’t all you wanted?”

I smile. “Very insightful of you.” I pause. “I was wondering if you could spare a moment of your time? Perhaps you would like to join me for a walk around the deck? Get some fresh air?” I squeeze his hand just a little.

“Something tells me I don’t have a choice. Do I?” Ikweed whispers. I give him my psychotic grin. “Very well. Let’s take a walk.” He get’s his hand out of my grip and shakes it.

“Perfect.” I let him walk in front. “While we’re at it, you can tell me all about why you convinced those two young casters that they will never use magic again.”

“I was being fair with them.” The geezer doesn’t even hesitate.

“By lying to them?”

“What do you mean?” He asks me quite calmly. Now I’m seriously getting pissed.

“I was under the impression you had the brain capacity not to play coy with me.” I look at the elderly Cornutese Cleanser. He refuses to cooperate.

“I have no idea…” I grab him by the neck with my paw.

“You lied to those children and now you are yanking my chain around.” I lift him to my eye level. “Why don’t those kids know about Meditation?” I glare at him, my eyes burning with rage. He tries to speak. I put him down.

“What you are talking about hasn’t been practiced for years.” He’s catching his breath.

“How so?”

“The King removed Meditation from the training long ago. It was deemed as unnecessary.” His voice a choking whisper… I may have over did it… Wait. Unnecessary? What the?

“Explain. Now.” I demand.

“As you know, Meditation is a time-consuming process. Because of the large amount of time it requires to master this particular skill, it was deemed a waste of the Masters’ time and energy. So, it was removed from the training. Instead, the new recruits would be told to conserve their mana, to not waste it carelessly, if they wanted to cast spells for as long as they lived.”

“That still does not explain why you did nothing to help the children, if you saw how low they were on mana?”

“Was I not clear?” The geezer put some more resentment into the question. I raise my eyebrows. The Cleanser sighs.

“The young ones foolishly wasted their mana. They threw away all of their teachings for you. For that they are paying the price.” That’s it.

“They wasted their mana? For me? They are paying the price? What delusions are these?” I growl at him. “If those children did not do what they did, there is a pretty damn good chance you’d be fish food.” I snarl at Ikweed.

“In fact, by now, you’d be even less than that.” He’s not fond of that little remark. I figure this is as good of the moment as any to end the conversation. I have to make this right.

“Milady.” A familiar voice calls out to me. I turn.

“Oh, it’s you two. Great.” I look at the young and bright casters before me. “How was lunch?”

“Delicious. Lady Grindella outdid herself again.” Zaltem’s obviously in a chattier mood, now that there’s hope to regain their powers. I imagine a nice meal had also something to do with his newly found speech. I glare at the geezer. He bows his head slightly and backs away…

“I’m glad to hear that.” I glance at the girl. “And what about you, Aodynna? How was your lunch?”

“Good.” She’s showing a bit of resistance there still. Can’t be helped.

“I see. Well then. If you are ready, we can begin. Do remember. This won’t be easy and it will take time.” I wait. “Any questions before we start?” Not a peep.

“Great. Step one. Close your eyes.” The Druid shuts his eyes instantly. The Shaman takes a moment to think about it. But closes her eyes as well.

“Now. Try to block out as much of the outside world as you can, focus on the sound of my voice. Let it be your guide.” I take a deep breath.

“Imagine your mind being a pond. Except right now there is a small storm raging in the middle of it. The water is restless and unclear. Try to calm the storm down.” Their expressions shift slightly as I speak.

“Try to imagine how you scatter the clouds with your hands. As you do so, you see how the water in the pond is calming. Focus on that. Make the water be still and clear.” I give them a minute. “Tell me, is the water clearing?”

Neither one says anything. I wait a little and ask them again. “Is the water clear?”

“Yes.” Aodynna whispers. Her face appears to be calmer as well. Progress. Zaltem, on the other hand, seems to be struggling a bit. His expression says it all.

“Focus on the water. Scatter the clouds over it. Clear your mind.” I keep my voice low and steady. I give the kid another minute. “Tell me, is the water calm?”

“Yes.” The boy answers.

“Good.” I stand between the two. “I want you to step inside the pond. Don’t be afraid. Just step into the water.” I wait. “Tell me, what do you feel?”

“Nothing.” Zaltem answers me.

“Good.” I look at the Shaman. “What do you feel?” I ask her.

“Nothing.”

“Good.” I step forward. “I want you to imagine yourself slowly sinking into the water.” I see a slight confusion on their faces but that’s only to be expected. No worries.

“Imagine being slowly pulled underwater.” I wait. “Tell me, what is happening?”

“Nothing.” The girl answers.

“Nothing.” The boy agrees.

“Great. Open your eyes.” I see them slowly come back out of the tiny trance. “That is all.”

“What? I don’t get it?” Zaltem’s confused.

“Is this a joke?” Aodynna quickly goes from angry to furious. I smile.

“No. This is all there is to the Meditation of Mana Regeneration.” I sense how lost they are.

“In order for you to be able to restore your mana to what it once was, you need to be able to let yourselves be pulled underwater in your minds. See the pond, that I told you to visualize, is your mana source. For you to regain your powers, you need to drown in it. Once you have imagined yourselves being completely underwater your mana will be returning much faster. The more of your body is underwater, the faster the restoration occurs. And here is the hard part. Not many can master this technique. To be able to let yourself drown is a scary thing. Most people manage to go half way and are satisfied. They are able to regain their mana quick enough, nonetheless. This method is based on letting go of the illusion of control. When in battle, or in any life-threatening situation, the one thing you cannot be concerned of is how to divide your mana equally among the spells you want to use. Mana is here to serve us. Not the other way round. Mana is a raw energy that surrounds us every moment of our lives. And it never runs out. That pond you are standing in, in your minds, will never dry out. The only reason we stop casting spells is when we die. As casters, it is your priority not to sustain physical damage to the body, as your bodies are the vessels for the mana, your magic and your powers. That is why we have spells do defend it.” I see the wheels turn for both of them as I speak.

“So, from now on, all you need to do is practice imagining yourselves how you are being pulled under the water. It won’t be easy. You will have doubts and reservations about it. But work at it and you will cast spells again soon.” I pause. “The Meditation will work faster if you resist it less. Do not be afraid.”

“So then once we manage to go underwater completely, our powers will be restored?” The girl asks.

“If you succeed. Yes.”

“And once we achieve that state, we will never run out of mana again?” Aodynna’s becoming more eager.

“No. You will have to repeat the Meditation every time you will feel the need to restore your mana quicker. But if you do master Meditation, you will be able to use it faster and easier. In other words, master it, and what could take years for you to restore your mana, will take days instead. Perhaps even hours or minutes.”

“So then to what extend are you able to use this technique, Milady?” The boy asks me.

I smile. “I manage to pull myself completely under. In fact. I do it constantly. After every spell I use. Just so if it there’s trouble I can be ready.”

The Druid seems to be impressed. The Shaman. Not so much.

“Is that why you were able to pull off what you did?” Aodynna asks the ground.

“Yes. If I am able to, I use Meditation whenever possible. Of course, it requires a lot of concentration, so doing it when fighting in my beast form is not always possible… This time wasn’t easy either but I was standing still the entire time casting – so, I was able to use Meditation as well. I’m sure my mana would have run out a lot faster if I haven’t done it…”

“Amazing…” The boy’s eyes sparkle yet the face has a blunt look on it.

“All I ask is that you would be patient.” The children don’t answer me.

“I will leave you to it. Feel free to ask me for help if you’re having trouble with this, alright?”

“Of course.” The boy bows.

“Sure.” Aodynna still seems a little skeptical. Oh well.

“Good luck.” I smile at them.

“Lady, Deathbreeze?” I hear a voice behind me.

“Yes?” I look at the young Balli girl.

“The Captain wishes to see you.” Huh. Weird.

“Very well.” I walk to the bridge. The Captain’s not there, only the navigator.

“I was told the Captain wishes to see me, however, I fail to locate him, I assumed he’d be here.” I speak to the Cornutese.

“He’s in there.” The man answers pointing behind him.

“Thank you.” I walk over and knock on the doors.

“Yeah.” A muffled sound comes from the inside of the cabin. I push the handle and the doors open.

“What is this about?” I ask the back of the giant Primerian-brute-like Captain.

“It took me a while. But I finally put the two and two together.” He speaks without facing me.

“Do you expect me to congratulate you?”

“Don’t mock me, Druid!” He finally makes the effort of turning around.

“I wouldn’t, if I had any clue to what is this all about.”

“Deathbreeze Skyrider. Or should I say Gazarria Stardust.” Shit. “Heir to the Noxanda’s throne.” He’s grinning now. I don’t like that grin. Creep.

“Congratulations.” I clap my hands as slow as I can. “Anything else?”

“A lot of people thought you were dead all this time.” He starts to walk toward me. “And lot of people worship you.”

“You flatter me.” I give him my deranged smile. The Captain laughs.

“Not at all. Just stating a few facts. One more is that, a lot of people would pay mountains of gold, if they ever found out that you are alive still.” I’m lost.

“Ok, I’ll bite, why?”

“So, they could kill you.” He whispers it right into my ear. Ugh. Creep. I’m about to ask why when I hear a familiar voice.

“I warned you what would happen if you came near her like that again.” Crile. How? Never mind.

“How did you get in here.” The Captain is not amused.

“I’m an Assassin. Remember?” Crile pushes his blade against the brute’s throat.

“I’ll have you hanged for this.” The brute snarls.

“About that.” I step in. “I’d like to know what makes you think that there are people out there who would pay to get me killed.” I ask the Primerian.

“I imagined you’re smarter than that.” He grins at me

“Watch it.” Crile twists the captain’s arm. I take my own blade out and press it on the inside of the brute’s thigh.

“Spill it before I spill you all over the cabin floor.” I glare at him. “Who are those people?”

The captain hesitates for a bit but gives in.

“Half a century ago, a faction was formed, called the “Anti-Death”. As in “Anti-Deathbreeze Skyrider”. These people are the descendants of the Fallen Ones. This faction holds you responsible for the demise of their relatives. The ones who fought the Great Battle. They believe it was your carelessness that led to so many deaths. Back then, the faction did all they could to locate you. After years of wasted effort, the searches died down, since nobody could actually find you. Eventually, you were declared dead officially as well. Nevertheless, there are some who believe you are alive and that one day they would have their revenge.” He looks at me.

“And here you are now.” The captain smiles. A chill runs down my spine.

No. This can’t be. “Did you know about this?” I look at Crile.

He doesn’t answer me. I ask again. “Did you know?”

“Yes and no.”

“Explain.” I glare at him. The captain laughs.

“What’s so funny?” I ask him.

“You’re supposed to be some kind of a legendary being, yet to me, you seem just a pretty little thing who thinks she’s so clever when you’re not at all.” That’s the last thing the captain says. I shift my arm into a hoof and ram it right into the brute’s stomach. His eyes almost pop out of his skull as he takes one last glance at me and lands on the floor.

“What was that just now?” Crile asks me.

“What? As if I was going to let him mock me.”

“Not that! The arm!” He points with his knife.

“Oh? You mean this?” I shift my entire body into a rhino. The ceiling almost crashes over us. I feel the boards’ creek under me and shift back.

“That’s new.” Crile’s impressed. I can tell.

“It’s not much use in battle, but it has its advantages.” Whoa. Hold it. What’s happening here?

“Anyway. Back to my question.” I give him my hard stare.

“Not like this. Use the stone.” Crile waits a second. Oh fine. I nod.

“Right. Like I said. I didn’t know about it for a long while. I investigated the rumors but as the numbskull there said, everything died down as quickly as it started, since nobody could find you. And to my understanding – they tried, hard.”

“I see.” I knew people hated me but to form a faction out of it. This is bad.

“Is the king aware of the Anti-Death league?”

“Vaguely.” He hesitates.

“What?”

“I don’t need to tell you, that if what the idiot said is true, then announcing your comeback into the Royal Army will endanger your life. Maybe even Laira’s and Marcus’s as well.” Yeah. He doesn’t need to tell me that.

“Perhaps. The thing is. People are already aware. I’m pretty sure even before I crashed the Congress meeting the rumors were spreading about my comeback. The hunter that was sent after me. This trip. Everything. It has already begun.” It dawns on me.

“The hunter!” Oops. The words escape my mouth.

“What about him?” Crile asks.

“He had to track me down somehow.”

“Right.”

“But if supposedly nobody knew where I was, how did he know where to start?” Man, this a pain.

“Someone had to be keeping track of your movements from rumors and claims from the people that did see you. Let’s face it. You had to encounter people at some point. And Emerald is not easy to hide. Plus. There aren’t any sabers left. So – spotting you might not have been as difficult.” Crile has a point.

“Still. I avoided cities. We lived of the land. Anyone I ever helped were lost souls I encountered in the middle of nowhere. There were maybe a few times when I fended off a village or two from bandits but everything was done at night…” Oh no.

“Tahon!” Now it’s making sense.

“What about the King?” Crile stares at me.

I'm about to share my thoughts when we hear a moaning sound. The captain’s coming back from his knock out. I ready myself to clock him again but Crile’s faster that time. The brute collapses again.

“You were saying.” That actually makes me smile. Damn it.

“Tahon. I know him from about thirty years ago. He was just a brat back then and he tried to steal from me, when I was in town getting some supplies. I caught him. But instead of beating him up, I asked him for his name and gave him some gold… He was a kid so I didn’t see him as a threat. But he must have followed me back to where Emerald was…”

“What makes you think he followed you?” Crile seems suspicious of me.

“Because I had a vague feeling I was being followed. Except at that time I figured I was just being paranoid and shook the feeling of… But that would make sense.” I try to make sense of the whole situation…

“He was a child back then. So, his magic energy would have been either very weak or…”

“Or non-existent at the time at all.” I finish Crile’s sentence.

“That would have made it hard to track him if you weren’t looking for him specifically.” Crile’s on point. Again.

“Sadly, you’re right.”

“That does make sense. If Tahon saw you with Emerald thirty years ago, he could have been trying to find out if it was a dream or not.”

“A dream?” I look at Crile confused. He blushes just for a mere eye blink. Oh my…

“An illusion.” He looks away. “Call it what you will but a legendary saber for a child might have seemed something out of a fairy tale. It’s a safe bet to make that he had been traveling around a lot. So perhaps he overheard something here and there and eventually connected the dots.”

“It’s a theory. But that does not explain how he got to be the king.”

“Actually, it does.” Crile has some kind of a grim look on his face.

“How so?”

“Do you remember a Mage named Dicata?”

“Oh, my Gods yes! He was such a pain! Wasn’t he one of the advisors for old man Bell?”

“Yes, he was.” Crile smiles. “Anyway, it was his idea for the King to hold something like a tournament in order to pick out a successor.”

“Right, Laira and Marcus mentioned something like that. The King didn’t have an heir of his own.”

“Yes. And so, a series of challenges were held and Tahon won them all.”

“Which is not suspicious at all?” I roll my eyes.

“Yeah, well it wasn’t as you think. At the time Tahon was well known as one of Dicata’s lead apprentices, so in reality, nobody really batted an eyelash after he was announced the winner.”

“So Tahon’s a Mage?” It clicks to me.

“No.”

“No? Then what is he?”

Crile’s expression says more than his silence.

“Seriously? Is it that bad?” I ask him again. The longer Crile keeps silent the more worried I get.

“He’s a Mancer.”

“For real?” Wait. “But if he’s a Necromancer. And Dicata was a Mage? What am I missing here?”

“He’s a Hell class…” Crile doesn’t even look at me.

“Well ain’t that perfect!” I throw my hands into the air. Necromancer’s are the rarest class of them all. For some reason only Primerians possess the ability to become them. But that’s nothing new. Only a Noxian can be a Druid. And most Earth Shamans are Balli. Perhaps that has something to do with the origins of the races. No-one could really explain it… The Necromancers had two types. Conjurers’ and Hell class. The first type used their own bodies to conjure things: chains, staffs, knifes, the only limit was the imagination and the pain. They used the bones in their bodies to multiple and to manipulate them. Some spells are universal and can be learned. Like Bone-Chains. This spell requires chants from Grimoires because it has to be maintained for a period of time to be effective. This part is similar to Cleansers. Other spells like casting a sharp spike out of the body, takes mere manipulation. Kinda like Mages do. And the rearranging of the body is similar to a Druid’s shapeshifting, which hurts. Constantly and unbearably. To be able to withstand that kind of a pain, always, one must be dead. There is no other way to describe it… That is the reason why the Necromancer class was named after the dead. Now Hell type Necromancers are able to transform their entire bodies into giant skeletons. The transformation usually is followed by a sea of flames. Depending on the level of the power, the color of the flame varies from bright yellow to bright blue. The blue flames being the highest rank. The spell is similar to the Shamans’ Overtake. As powerful as it is – it cannot be cast for an extended period of time. The spell, apparently is believed to be some sort of a gateway into Hell. The skeleton, that is the transformed caster, is able to manipulate the flames to burn everything in their path, leaving nothing but ashes behind them. Trick is – those flames cannot be put out by anyone else, except a Mancer. Making Mages and Shamans useless against them… Most Hell class Mancers are used as a last resort spell for mass destruction. Reason being, because Hell class Necromancers are so rare and so powerful. Legend has it that the Hell Flames is the most powerful spell in existence. Possibly only a Celestian could rival that power… No-one really knows…

“So, the asskisser Mage took a Mancer under his wing? Why?”

“Dicata saw something in him. Why do you think it was his idea to hold the contest?”

“Wait. Dicata’s dead. Isn’t he?”

Crile looks at me. “Yeah. He died shortly after the tournament.”

“What happened? He couldn’t handle the excitement?” Oh right. “Tahon killed him, didn’t he?”

“Now that I think about it – there is a chance. He wasn’t under any suspicion at the time, but now. It would make sense.” Crile pauses. That makes me uneasy for some reason.

“What?” I ask.

“Do you remember a Mage named Yacta?”

“Can’t say I do, why?”

“She fought the Great Battle with us.” This keeps getting better and better…

“And?”

“She was the one who got the survivors out of the castle. Right after…” Crile doesn’t want to finish that sentence.

“Right after I slaughtered half of the remaining forces.”

“Breeze…”

“Don’t.” I don’t want to get emotional about it now. “What’s done is done. So then what happened? After Yacta got everyone out?”

“She weltered away into dust. Right in front of us.” I can see the horror in his eyes. ”Yacta was named a Holy One. They build her a statue and everything. The History knows her as the one and the only, who attempted and successfully executed a Live Being Teleportation of such a magnitude. Even, if technically, she used Wind Manipulation, to create a Tornado around everyone and use that to get everyone out safely.”

“Wow. That’s amazing.” I’m stunned.

“Yes.”

“But how is this relevant?” I’m confused as much as I’m amazed.

“Yacta was Dicata’s daughter. “ Crile doesn’t even raise his eyes to look at me. That says it all.

My jaw drops. The realization of it all comes crashing down on me. I get it all now. Dicata blamed me for his child’s demise. Just like the rest of them. He must’ve somehow gotten to know about me being alive from Tahon. That would be the only reasonable explanation why a Mage would take in a Necromancer as his apprentice. Dicata probably thought that by appointing Tahon as Bellheim’s successor he would have more power to search for me. And to get his revenge…

A knock on the door makes me lose my trail of thought.

“Captain? Is everything alright?” That’s the navigator’s voice.

“Breeze. We need to leave.” Crile holds his hand to me. I know what it means. I hesitate. Another knock.

“Breeze!” Crile urges me one last time. Oh, screw it. I take his hand. He pulls me to him. Wraps his hand around my waist and pulls us both down into the shadows. The feeling never changes. Bone chilling to the very core of your soul. As if being buried alive. But all that never mattered to me. Crile was there. Being in his arms always calmed me down. I was never scared of the Shadow Realm. Until now. I feel uneasy and mortified. Crile’s embrace just seems to be making everything worse. I want to get away from him. There isn’t enough air for me. My head hurts. My heart races. My body feels like a raging sea. I’m shaking. My vision blurrs.

“Breeze. Relax. It’s over.” A muffled voice tries to reach out to me but I can’t understand it. My chest aches. I gasp for air.

Breeze is shaking like a leaf. I feel her trembling under my arms. She never did that before. No matter how many times I pulled her under. She never. Yet now she’s shaking uncontrollably. I feel her heart beat faster. She looks like she’s suffocating.

“Breeze. Relax. It’s over.” I push her away from me. She doesn’t react.

“Breeze. Easy. It’s over.” I look at her. She seems disoriented. I pulled her to me again.

“Breathe. Slowly. Just breathe.” I hold her.

“Starlight.” I hear What? “Starlight…” Breeze is mumbling something to herself. I can’t make it out. Something isn’t right. I touch her face. She’s burning up! Suddenly she collapses in my arms.

“Breeze! Damn it.” I pick her up and lay her on the bed. I check her again. Scorching hot. I take a dagger out and laid it on her chest. I look around. I don’t have any water. But I do have my light chain armor. I put that on her head. I hope the cold metal would help the fever. It worked once before with ice. So maybe the cool metal would work as well. I know it’s not the after effects of the Shadow Realm. She has a fever. If the Realm had affected her, she would have been pale as snow. Would have felt like one too. I check her again. Still hot. I think I know what is going on. It happened once before. She had a nightmare. So horrible it made Breeze burn up and hallucinate. Delusion Fever. That’s what Starlight called it then. I guess she realized a few things just before we fled the Captains quarters. And the intensity of being inside the Shadows was too much for her to handle all at once. Last time she had Delusion Fever she went on a rampage. I’m not sure if it will happen again but I’m not willing to risk it either. So, I choose not to go looking for water. But that just means Breeze will be out for a long time. I have to do something. But what? I open the cabin window. Maybe some fresh air will help her snap out of it. Breeze looks restless. I take the stupid metal off of her.

I grab her by the shoulders and shake her. “Wake up! Breeze, wake up!” Nothing.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper and ram a dagger into her thigh. She wakes up screaming. I cover her mouth.

“Easy, Breeze, easy! You were delusional. I had no choice. Calm down.” I try to keep my voice low. Her eyes are terrified but she doesn’t struggle. Her breathing slows. I let her go.

“What happened?” She’s coming back to her senses.

“Best guess – you got to the same conclusion I did just before we had to flee. The Shadow Realm didn’t do you any favors and you got a fever. You looked like you were suffocating… You mentioned Starlight too.”

“Delusion Fever.” Breeze’s voice is barely a whisper. “Thank you. You can go now.” She says to me. Me? I smile.

“Breeze.” I look at her.

“Right. I should be the one leaving.” She gets up and almost falls to the floor. I catch her.

“Take a minute to recover. It has been rough for you lately.” I sit her down next to the open window.

“You should probably patch that up as well if you have the strength.” I point to her bleeding leg.

“Oh, yeah, right. I’ll do it as soon as I’m back at my room.”

“Seriously?” I could not have sounded more disappointed with her even if I tried.

“What?” The surprise on her face seems legit. I sigh.

“Fine. I’ll do it then.” I get some herbs and cloth out of my bag.

“Don’t even think about it.” Breeze struggles, well, tries to anyway. I grip her by the ankle.

“Don’t be a child. Sit still. You can close it up later yourself. It’s better if no one sees you like this.” I carefully lift her robe and tear the side of the leggings, so I can see the wound clearly.

“Fine. You already stabbed me. What other harm can you do?” I feel the anger and misery behind that sentence. I guess it can’t be helped. I tend to her wound. It takes all of my strength not to kiss those luscious thighs. The soft skin. I feel Breeze flinch under each and every touch of mine. I have to admit, seeing the muscles tense like that even just for a second makes me feel proud of myself for some reason. Now’s not the time!

“I know what you’re thinking.” I say to get Breeze’s attention and to distract myself as well.

“Is that so?” I hear the contempt in that one too.

“You’re thinking why did Tahon choose to kill Dicata? Was it because somewhere along the line he realized you’d be of better use to him alive? Or is there something else we don’t know about? What is the Grand Plan?” I’m about to finish up tying up the bandage when I steal one last chance to brush my fingertips down her thigh. I feel the desire stir. Damn it.

“Yes. I am thinking that.” Breeze sounds as her usual warrior mode. “I’m also thinking, how long does it take to tie a damn knot?” She sounds a bit more anxious that time.

“All done.” I tied the knot and gave the leg a light tap, right on the wound. Breeze growls at me. I chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” She’s pissed. I can tell.

“You are.” I sit down on the bed looking at her. She doesn’t say anything. Neither do I. Soon after she slips out the window and flies off.

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