Tomorrow, I receive a visit from Nanaya. This woman is my main subordinate and, on paper, my « daughter ». She has, like me, been given the responsibility of being a love and war goddess, with one part of our country under her authority. To describe her, let's say that our lady has an Aprian origin. Every genuine pure-blooded Aprian has black skin. Consequence of the old Murrean expansionist doctrine. It was considerably faster and cheaper to conquer a galaxy by placing the bulk of all colonial infrastructures along a habitable planet's equator.

We are talking about a time long before there were any Gold and Silver Trails, of course. Setting up a space elevator was still the only sustainable transportation method for mankind. The logical outcome was a change in pigmentation of all populations to a darker hue, with for noticeable exception those systems whose star brightness stay very low. Nanaya was born during the first expansion age, which makes her one of the oldest among us. Besides this brief biography, physically she has... a certain weight. Each of her boobs is big as my head! Her face seems to be covered with an everlasting smile.

More importantly, she's the only person here that I count as my friend. Now yes, I remember, « the Aprian and the Reinir » is an opening for a famous joke. However, why should I care? Nanaya masters our tea ceremony, flawlessly, and understands the galaxy's diplomatic norms. Understandable, you might say, for an ambassador. What stands out most about her personality on a daily basis is her indestructible optimism. People worship her for that. She is greatly loved by southerners, probably also because they share a similar skin color. A mutual attachment.

My servants enjoy pointing out that we are complete opposites! Ishtar white and thin, Nanaya black and fleshy. My wrathful temper, her infinite patience. Of the gods, she was the first to come at me without wanting to change anything in my behavior. Our conversations are always compelling, you know. So, I have a riddle. What do you think is the main topic for love goddesses? The answer seems so ridiculously obvious it's almost cliché. Any ideas? Yes! Here it is! We talk sex. Constantly. There is no truer romance than the one that doubles as foreplay for lover's sports!

Sexuality might seem insignificant, yet underestimating its influence destroys nations with astounding efficiency. A paradoxical field, at once omnipresent and invisible. Our existence depends on this thing. Sometimes we even strike and kill for it! Reluctantly, of course, but what does that matter to the victim? We allow ourselves plenty of excuses when it comes to sex, discreetly, under the guise of modesty. That said, it is the norm for our species, when you think of it: everything is harmful, except the real danger. A murder has been committed? Let's quickly condemn those knives, which « corrupted » the gullible killer! Societies cherish irresponsibility as a guilty pleasure. Anyway, I digress.

Did you expect a different kind of entertainment? This world's populace underestimates the qualities of healthy conversation! It takes a sharp mind to renew this kind of discussion for centuries. Plus, honestly, we are both awfully frustrated singles to begin with. A flaw made worse by our Eloah nature. Understand that with age, minds get accustomed to feelings. Pain and pleasure decrease in strength. On the other hand, we gain stamina.

I can race for several months without running out of breath. What do you think all of this says about our sexual performances? I'll be blunt: the best human partner will be as memorable as a summer breeze. Gods require, and can afford, much more in order to achieve their satisfaction. A regular intercourse, in Elohim's eyes, could last three weeks. This is the minimum required to reach just one orgasm. In order to be truly « successful », it is necessary to obtain between 8 and 12!

In practice, this means months of absolute dedication. Do you know any mortals who can offer that? Only an Eloah is likely to have suitable capabilities. But, intimate relationships are extraordinarily rare between my kind. I'd be lucky if it was only a mechanical trouble. My problem goes beyond that. I am strong. Ridiculously so. For me, even thinking the wrong way is enough to turn a grown warrior into bloody pulp. I can rarely « let go ». To put it simply, sex is like juggling eggs with a wooden paddle. One tiny mistake and someone will have to clean up all over the hallway.

That's why the subject fills our minds so much. We are jealous of human simplicity. We tried various techniques to moderate our... « multiple stresses ». Most of them having to do with quantity, to put it delicately, since quality is out of reach. Conclusion? Nothing. Elohim must endure permanent dissatisfaction, since they are unable to enjoy each other. We are talking about immortals' intimacy, mistakes remain engraved for a long time. When all is said and done, each one occupies his boring eternity as well as he can. These impulses lead us to many stupid decisions, very often.

For example, the event that decides the next kings. It was conceived by Nanaya, almost as a joke, to distract us. Basically, we have a spear fight with a candidate prince and, if he turns out to be interesting enough, we let him win without appearing too obvious. His victory will usually end in a more straightforward conquest of our charming and very receptive self. The game then consists in finding out to what extent we can make what will comes next bland for him. Our qualities as actresses are unmatched. I had mentioned that reinirs love euphemisms?

The result of our childish hobby? Queens hate us and the husband deploys treasures of imagination when describing his monumental virility to the scribes. Size does not count, my loves. We feel nothing, even with the most gloriously gifted among you!

To answer that question before it gets into your heads: yes, we have attempted it with each other. Unfortunately, since the World-Bird has a bloody sense of humor, we lack compatibility. That's an expression to say it never works. Nanaya is far too heterosexual and I... it requires some complicated arrangements. I am designed like that. So we revert to talking, tea and an unhealthy voyeuristic inclination towards our followers. They frolic freely while we live by proxy.