《Odd Jobs for a Occult Handyman》Pizza Poltergiest Part 2
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“I dunno like about a week ago, me and my cousin just finished setting up the kitchen so I could practice making pizza dough for when we would open. I was kneading some dough in the mixer while he was in this weird office in the back of the kitchen. We didn’t need it, so we decided to convert it into like a dry storage, which makes so much more sense you know” Isaac said talking more and more animatedly with his hands.
“It was filled with all this junk and shit from the original owner who I heard killed himself in the kitchen back in the 90’s. That was like 20-30 years ago and this place hasn’t been used since and why we got such a kickass deal! This is like my dream, you know. Running my own kitchen and being an owner is like and my cousin is like super smart and shit. So we both saved up and got some loans to start this place when he found it on the market for super cheap” Isaac ranted but stopped when he looked down at my foot tapping.
“Sorry I’m a fidgeter” Winston said his ear turning a bit red in embarrassment.
"So my cousin is in the back office pulling junk out, and going through it in case we could use anything or if he found anything cool. Then he starts like yelling for me like DUDE DUDE DUDE I need your help! He was then yelling about finding something hidden under this huge ass desk and that he needed help moving it to get to it. I was done kneading the dough, so I quickly put some saran wrap on the dough, totally messed the dough up. Forgot to oil it so it probably would have stuck to the saran wrap. I would take you back to the old office to show you what I’m talking about but I’m kind of to freaked out to go back there” Isaac said.
“What has you too afraid to go back there” Winston asked quickly. He was really getting into Isaac’s story and wanted to know what they found.
“Don’t laugh, but I think the guy who killed himself is haunting us and its our fault that he is back” Isaac said then taking a longer than needed sip of his coffee.
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“Why would I laugh? Have you seen my business card?” Winston stated while pulling out a business card and walking it over to Isaac.
It said:
WINSTON SHADY
OCCULT HANDYMAN
Problem with ghosts, ghouls or the
garbage disposal?
Call me
Winston was really proud of this card and loved the looks it got when people read it.
“Keep it, I ordered way too many, also ghost can’t do anything during the daytime. Sunlight really hamper being from the other side so we will be safe if we go check out what you are talking about. What was hidden under the desk? Winston asked while he started to move the paint cans away from the barricade.
“So, we got this heavy ass desk out of the office, and underneath where the drawers were, was a weird safe door. It didn’t have a lock, just this weird knot that I cut off and kept. When I opened it up there was some weird ash at the bottom. No money, no drugs, not even a recipe book, nothing! I was pissed, so we pulled the box out of the ground, dumped it out in the garbage and then we decided to take a safety break. We put the box and knot on this counter and left” Isaac went on as we continued to move tables and chairs out of the way.
“Safety walk?” Winston ask while scrunching his face.
“Kitchen lingo for us to destress by taking a break to take a shot or smoke weed. You know, make it safe for other people to be around us. Wanna take one?” Isaac said laughing.
“Uh, no thanks” Winston said unsure of what type of job this was going to be.
“I’m going to need some liquid courage before going back there and it’s rude to not offer” Isaac said standing up and stretching his back.
Most the chairs and tables were out of the way now and Isaac stopped moving stuff. He walked back over to the coffee to pour himself another cup. He then pulled out a bottle of whiskey and poured it into liberally into his coffee.
“Cheers” he said taking a large drink of coffee without even a grimace.
“Did you keep the box and knot?” Winston asked moving the last table out of the way.
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“Yeah I did, its down here is the cool shit to keep box. Jace also found the whiskey in the office” Isaac said while reaching down under the counter to rummage around for it. He stood up holding an intricately tied rope.
“May I” Winston asked holding his hand to Isaac.
“I have seen this type of knot before. If I remember correctly, it’s for binding something, but not ghosts. I just don’t remember what” Winston said while turning the knot around in his hands.
“I dunno man but me and Jace locked up and walked down the street to this little bar called Whisk to grab a drink. We only meant to have one, but we ran into friends and ended just calling it a night and hung out” Isaac said then took another large drink of his spiked coffee.
“So why do you think this place is haunted?” Winston asked not quite following the story as he turned the knot around in his hand. He was still trying to remember what the knot was for.
“I’m getting there, we locked up and called it a night. When we showed up the next day, there was dough everywhere. The dough I forgot to put away was all over the ceiling, like it exploded. We cleaned it up and I started another batch and made sure to put it away until the next day. We then finished up for the day and when we showed up the following day my knives were stuck in the wall. I thought Jace was messing with me and did that to my knives and we got into this huge fight about him messing up my knives” Isaac said getting a little louder as he talked about someone messing up his knives.
Isaac went on with his story talking about how everyday they showed up something else was trashed or ruined. They had even called the cops, but they were no help to them. It had escalated every day until last night when Isaac volunteered to stay the night and work on the front area and find out who was messing with them and possibly hit them with a metal pipe they found in the alley.
“Last night I was getting some painting done, drinking, and waiting for someone to start something. I heard something in the kitchen and grabbed my pipe to scare whoever was screwing with me. I ran into the kitchen, all pumped up and shit, feeling like a straight gangster! I went in there all pissed and ready to mess someone up and right in the middle of the kitchen there was this guy there with his back to me. But he was floating, and he was kind of transparent. He then spun around and pointed at me and screamed OUT OF MY KITCHEN! I was totally freaked out and threw my pipe at him and he kind of just burst into light. Then everything just went crazy lights started flickering and the ovens started opening and closing and the island worktable slammed into me, and I just bugged out and left” Isaac stated in almost one breath. He quickly poured another coffee that was mostly just whiskey.
“If you left how did you end up back here?” Winston asked.
“I got super wasted last night and I also forgot my phone here so I couldn’t call an uber. I came back called an Uber but I had to wait a bit for it. I somehow decided that it was a reasonable idea that the table and chairs would stop a ghost and if I was hidden under the painter’s tarp, I wouldn’t be seen. And then I must have passed out” Isaac said then checked his phone. “I also missed my Uber, obviously.”
“Well from how you described your ghost, you would actually call it a poltergeist. And you would have had no problem with any ghosts if that pipe were mostly iron. I think, well, yes I can help you” Winston said still holding the knot.
“You actually believe me?” Isaac said incredulously.
“Occult Handyman remember” Winston stated pointed a finger at himself, just as lightning flashed through the newspaper covered windows. Thunder rattled the window in their frames and sheets of rain came down harder, hammering a staccato rhythm on the ground. “Well that’s ominous” Winston stated flatly.
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