《Queen of the Sun (Book 1)》Chapter 16 • Playing Games
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The sleeping viper curled around her hips was beginning to weigh her down. And he weighed like a ton of bricks. She might have bruises coming up tomorrow if she lets this on any longer. She tried pushing him away but the damned behagthi tightened his scales in resistance like it was turning himself to stone. There was no moving him.
Thankfully, Aidan offered a ride on his back but if the toll of having 15 children and two behagthis riding on him was affecting him, he didn't say.
"You doing all right, wolfie?" she asked him, "You know you don't have to pretend with me. If you're having trouble with your carry weight, you can mind-speak this and I'll help you around it."
There is no need. It takes half an hour on foot. If I go fast, it will only take us a good 10 minutes.
"Hah. You answered to wolfie. No take-backs." Then twisting to her back, she said "Hey kids. Want to learn a new song? I'm in the mood for country pop. It's good music for the road. Plus, I think wolfie needs a little motivation to get him going on his path."
Oh god no, Crow perked up from his sleep and slithered his nuzzle against her cheek, coiling around the throat over her scarf. Don't you dare sing.
"It will be good practice." she said out loud.
Starlight, if you so much as sing it will wake the dead. And then we'll all be in trouble.
Aidan scoffed which sounded like a stifled wolf laugh.
Her jaw fell open "You heard that?"
Of course. Aidan said, sounding smug.
She leaned closer to the wolf next to his ear, making sure the kids don't hear. "You do realize that we're going to need a private connection in our minds for our plan to work."
You're over-thinking this. Your plan is well and worthy, Aidan said dryly. Even I had chills upon hearing it. It can't possibly go wrong. We have explored every avenue it could go down to. Nothing would be a problem if we stick to the plan.
"Don't say that out loud. Here I thought you were superstitious."
What did I do?
"Do you really think saying out loud that nothing can't go wrong isn't at all like tempting fate?"
Bull-headed tribal talk. Your plan is sound. If not a tad bit overbearing but it should work.
"I'm being careful. I'm making sure it all goes down well with no surprises which is hard to plan for since I'm not exactly from around here."
Crow as a viper rested his snake head on her shoulder, I'll poison them for you. Just say the word.
Aidan grunted his agreement. No need to worry your pretty little head about it. I'm fast and he's deathly. Nothing could go wrong.
"At any chance, let's do our best to avoid any kind of trouble." She glanced back at the kids, "Are any of you by any chance hearing our mind-speak?"
Lann'a focused away from the vast scenery and looked forward, "Only from Crow. I don't hear anyone else." The kids murmured their assent, nodding to each other.
"Any idea why that is?"
Must be a tribal thing. Aidan muttered, pushing larger strides on the snowy path.
"I don't think so. You were able to mind-speak to the gatekeeper brothers and they're from the dark tribe."
Crow mumbled. Strange things abound us, starlight.
"You gotta quit saying that." she said, irritated. The way Crow was coiling around her shoulders had his tail-end snaking down under her shirt, iced-crisp scales against skin. She tried pushing him off but the damned snake turned his scales to stone almost immediately.
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The strangest things are often the most compelling, are they not? Starlight, I believe you are the strangest. I didn't think I had it in me to hold my own conscience when I was in full viper form. But here I am, thinking complex thoughts, conversing with you when it was next to impossible to do so. I'm supposed to be insane with a full beast on the helm whose raving mad tendencies can blow through legions of armies in a single day. And yet here I am. Completely myself. My beast inside me speaks in a way I can fully understand. Our communication together is coherent. It has never been like this. It's as if both beast and I are unbound from the touch of madness. If it wasn't for our mind-speaking, I think I may well have gone insane from paranoia.
"About that." she said, tightening a death grip on his tail end when it tried to sneak past inside her shirt some more. "How come you turned into a viper back in the throne room when you knew it meant losing your own conscience?"
I wasn't left with a choice, was I? Soon as I anticipated them encountering us, the viper spirit inside me surged into surface. Quite violently, I can tell you. Like it won't give me a choice in the matter, it had to come out. There had been no other way, no other thought that came to me but to put you out of harm's way, despite the risk it posed on my sanity.
Before she could say anything back, Lann'a asked, "How did the change feel like?"
Ever seen lightning booming in a heavy storm? It's a lot like being struck by lightning. Nerve-endings get frayed by heated sparks of fire. Each part of your body burning fiercely but only for a second. Next thing I knew I was piled under my clothes as a viper snake.
I can relate. said Aidan.
She scoffed, "Aidan's first change wasn't anything as efficient as yours did, Crow. His was more unnecessarily dramatic?"
He made an indignant sound. It proved effective for the occasion. Ask my parents. They're the King and Queen.
U'tu talked to Lann'a about their conversation when her eyes widened and she said, "I want to hear about your first change, wolfie."
When he didn't answer right away, River nudged him by his fluffy ears, "Come on, wolfie."
The children followed suit, "Yeah. Come on, wolfie." they said in a sing-song tone, then started snickering to each other like little imps.
She took pride in that, a sensation of approval washing over her. It was the closest thing they ever came to sounding in harmony. And it was a progress she was happy to hear.
But the wolf only grunted in annoyance, Crow aren't you the least bit mad about River abducting you?
I came from a prison stronghold, Aidan. I would have given River the world if it meant getting out of there. And I certainly don't mind being abducted in the warmest nest ever.
"Isn't that sweet?" she said dryly. Imagining that she must be the first woman he has ever seen in god knows how many years.
You aren't wrong in that. Crow said curling against her cheek, nuzzling it. So warm.
"Don't get used to it." she said, wishing his voice wasn't even more devastating in mind-speak. "When we reach the sun tribe, there will be plenty more women to look at."
Looking forward to it, he drawled and River decided to clamp her mouth shut tight. Something in his tone held an invitation to it. Despite what he said about being free of madness, a strong intuition prodded in her guts, telling her that dancing with a viper prince could be a special kind of insanity that will take years to untangle out of.
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After a few minutes Aidan mumbled. Only a behagthi could think up something crazy like a plan like that.
"I like to think that I've done enough to earn the benefit of doubt. Let's try to see if it works. No harm in trying."
Yeah. Like war. he muttered in a sarcastic tone.
She whispered to him. "Hush. I don't want to hear it from you. I'm not taking it from someone whose guilty of child endangerment."
They are trained warriors. Stop underestimating them, it's starting to sound like an insult.
"No kid who is barely even ten years old can pass as a warrior when they aren't even grown into adulthood yet."
Says you.
"Get used to it. Mama's home and she's getting this house in order."
What?
"It's something I heard on tv."
Do I want to know what that is?
"Not today. We're here." she said back to the kids, pointing at the large gaping hole on the ground.
Lann'a frowned, "Is this where you bury us?"
U'tu chuckled, "No, there is a big wooden box over there on the side to bring us down to the tunnels. It's where the dark tribe gatekeepers live. It's safe there."
Chestnut head kid pulled Lann'a closer to whisper, "Be cool. I'm taking my chances to miss a beating today. Do not mess this up for us."
Lann'a squinted at him, "I'm not messing up. I'm asking pertinent questions."
"I don't mind it." U'tu said good-naturedly. "Let's head on over to that box."
The wooden box they had arrived from earlier was shaped like a tall rectangle and it looked every bit like a primitive elevator.
"It don't look like it's going to fit all of us in here." Lann'a said to U'tu.
Then they looked to River.
Shrugging, she said "We'll just have to go by batches"
It took two comings and goings until 15 kids were safely underground. The children heard what River was telling but they finally believed when U'tu reassured them. It was U'tu they trusted so he had to be present on all four trips in the up & down elevator rides. She watched the curious mechanism of an elevator disappearing into a darkened hole in the ground the whole time, figuring out if anything was defecting out of function. By the time she turned around, Crow and Aidan were already transformed and fixing their clothes.
"You forgot your scarf," she told Crow, balancing on her tiptoes and wrapping it around his neck.
"He won't need it. Since it's humid down there." said Aidan
"Have you seen those gatekeeper brothers wearing sweaters?" When he knitted his brows, she continued, "Those thick woolen outfits they wear?"
Aidan rested his hands on his hips, "The cold wasn't even that bad. Not as bad as in the snow tribe."
Fitting the ends of the red scarf inside his closed jacket, she rolled her eyes at Crow smirking at her. "Snakes are cold-blooded. They don't do well in the cold."
His fanged viper smirk faltered, "No one knows that but vipers themselves. That is an inner sanctum secret." he said with a husky tone.
"I know many things." she said mildly, feeling proud at the fact that her innumerable hours binging documentaries overnight was getting a little payoff.
She was about to pull away when he grabbed at her wrist, pulling her even closer that she had to look up at him in his grey steely eyes. Then he muttered deep in this throat. "Are behagthis usually this knowledgeable?"
She fought to gain her balance after going weak in the knees, hoping no one noticed. Giving him a cocky smile, she began to pull her wrist back and said, "Nah, it's a River thing."
His gaze went searching into her eyes, a predatory glint in his expression. Fight or flight instincts took hold, and her instincts told her to fly the fuck away. Renewing her struggles to break free of his hold, she threw a few strings of curses about snakes under her breath.
The ineffectual pull-and-tug of her wrist with Crow had Aidan clearing his throat. "Won't the children worry if we take any longer?" he called after them from inside the elevator.
"Yes, that's right." she said meaningfully as she pulled harder. She was glaring and shooting daggers at Crow with every hard ineffectual tugs. If only looks could kill, she thought. I would have triple murdered this damned snow behagthi.
He gave a full-on devilish grin before he released his hold, causing her butt to land on a pile of snow with a hard grunt.
As he went on ahead, he peered over his shoulder to glance down at her, "I'm not who they say I am."
"What in the freaking hells do you mean?" she nearly shrieked, struggling to get up from the heavy snow, making sure to stomp hard on her heels so she doesn't lose balance on ice powder terrain.
The damned behagthi didn't answer. He regarded her in silence after she trudged through the snow successfully towards the wooden elevator. Then without missing a beat, she pulled down a lever on the side of the elevator, causing the blocks of concrete weights to groan as it shifted to lift from deep underground.
"What was that?" Aidan asked in a rush after the wooden box of an elevator had made a startling sound with a jostle, closing them in a claustrophobic space as it started to climb down at a snail's speed. His gaze went to all directions, observing every nooks and crannies.
In a straight deadpan tone, she said. "Don't worry about it." As the groans of the concrete blocks echoed loudly inside their elevator box through a deafening roar. She sighed, realizing that this must be his first time.
Both of them clasped her arms in a vise-like grip at the same time. The elevator hadn't made this kind of sounds before with the kids. If this were her first time riding in a closed box like this, she would have worried too.
On her left, Crow said to her in mind-speak. I knew it. Those cursed brothers would not have let us get away.
Followed by Aidan saying on her right, I knew this was a fucking death trap.
River fought back the creeping doubts that was beginning to set in. Their acute fear tempted her built-in paranoia over safety, but she knew better. "Relax. The children have been through this a couple times already and they fared well enough."
She had been in old vintage elevators before. The apartment building from where she was renting had a roaring resistance much like this one. Of course, it absolutely terrified her the first few times. But she had gotten used it. Plus, her apartment building's elevator had a worse bark than this old thing. The difference is that this wooden elevator had a turtle's pace. She gave an internal sigh at thinking that it might take them longer than a couple of minutes to get underground.
It hadn't made sounds like this before. Do you think this old thing might have been over-used? said Aidan in mind-speak.
Perhaps it might have something to do with our combined weights? said Crow.
Were the guys afraid to speak up out loud in the open? Thinking a single note of word will cause the elevator to disentangle? She bit back a smile as an idea sparked in her head. She had to do it now before both of them could hear her forming thoughts about it. "Never in my wildest imagination would I have known that the ending chapter of my life can sound so terrifying like this." she said, digging in deep to her Shakespearean experience back at a high-school play where she served as a lighting technician. She originally auditioned for Juliet but had only made the cut for technical support.
Shrugging off their grips on her arms, she reached for their hands instead. "If this should be the place for my grave. If this should be my final resting place—" she said trembling, then while taking a deep centering breath she sent a brief fuck-you to her drama teacher. "Then my spirit, my very soul, will rest free of guilt and grief if only shame itself will not follow me into my resting place. This is why, no, this is as it should. I must unburden myself with sovereign confessions I haven't told anyone before. But I have to tell you. To both of you. Only then will I be free of it."
What is it? Aidan asked, his grip tightening when the elevator trembled with another horrifying groan.
In a deep exhale, she gave him a tortured look before shaking her head. Then she searched for Crow in his intense gaze, "I can't. You must do it first." she thought she saw an agonizing shadow pass over his eyes but it was gone when it closed shut.
She heard an audible swallow from his throat as he pushed forward, resting his forehead on hers. With his other hand, he held the back of her neck in a cradle keeping her locked in place. The words that followed was told in a mind-speak that only her and Aidan can hear. I am not behagthi. I let them think that to improve my reputation. Once they knew I was one, more and more people kept searching for me, wanting me. And I hadn't disabused them of that notion because it wasn't anything new to be posing as a behagthi as means for improving business. Though the business kept growing and growing until I realized my poisons were most effective and by far the best that people trusted in it. I'm not the first to lie about being a behagthi but I'm the single one who built an empire out of it.
The wolf growled behind her back. How is this your shame? Sounds like bragging to me.
River elbowed Aidan in the stomach, "Don't let the stupid wolf criticise you." she said when she felt Crow's fingers digging on the back of her neck. "We don't know your whole story so we cannot— and will not be judging any of your life decisions. Isn't that right, Aidan?"
The wolf met her with silence. Instead she felt his other arm wrapping snugly around her waist, pressing himself against her back and resting his cheek on the top of her head. I'll have you know that I have never felt with my heart. I do not think I am able to. The thought of anyone knowing about this terrifies me. he whispered under his breath.
Crap, she thought, heavy on the realization that this was going extra further than what she was comfortable with. I didn't think this through. But before she could stop him from revealing any further, the elevator shook to a stop as it wobbled in a jerky movement mid-flight. The box they were in swayed as if it were held in a loose clutch and she felt their grips tightening around her, pressing themselves closer for a fortified brace suited to greeting a most violent death.
Aidan continued. Healers, weavers, heck my own damned parents put what the heart feels at such a high regard that I can't even imagine telling them that their own son —their own sun prince— is incapable of feeling with his heart or even following his gut. Every decision I have done I based on traditions, logic, and from the numerous studies I made from our museum library. I tricked my people into thinking I was who they thought I would be. I wasn't. I failed my sun tribe. I lied to them by omission. They're my people, mine to protect, mine to care for. And I know I should trust them. But I don't. I fear they might turn their backs on me in disgust if they knew. For a very long time, I wanted to tell them so badly that I don't want to be who they want me to be. But my fear of failing them is bigger than my fear of living a lie. I don't want to live a lie anymore. If this will be my final moment of living, then I won't be living it as a lie. I hate being the sun prince with every fiber of my being and I can't live up to its ideals. I cannot feel love, joy, affection, heck even courage is a foreign abstract concept to me. Everything I have done, I have done only through logic. Every reactions I made was a careful thought-out performance for my people and I never meant any of them unti—
Suddenly, the elevator began screeching loud like a banshee as it powered to maneuver through its usual path on the way down. The shrill grating sound of it was like nails on a chalkboard.
Crow gave a pained grunt before saying. My name is Crowunn de Montemorrn from the upper god tribe of the Undine Sea. Our family have been hiding under the snow tribe for generations, living among them for the fear that if we set foot outside of the snow mountains then the god tribe's retribution will rain down upon us. We are exiles. And have been living as exiles for centuries. I don't want to die as an exile.
River reached up to run through her fingers on his blonde sun-kissed hair, then she wrapped an arm around Crow's bent neck. "I hear you. I hear both of you. And don't worry about judgement here. None of you have to worry about that with me. We're all in the same boat because I'm also a liar and an impostor. I know those weren't easy to say, let alone form the words to speak it."
As Aidan was behind her, she heard him catch his breath.
Your turn. Crow's words were hard as steel, Confess.
"I want to—"
The elevator screeched to a resounding halt. The double doors almost immediately began straining to be pulled apart just as they had landed, "My sun prince, we brought help!" U'tu yelled from the other side.
She could hear Me'ren saying, "I thought I told you to replace the cogs in the system. It's decades old."
"I had it wiped clean just fine last month. It shouldn't have been a problem with its usual use." That was Na'reem sounding close to the doors. He was struggling to pull it open. "It isn't even meant to go beyond its usual capacity."
"You telling me we had a set capacity for this old thing and you never thought to tell us about it?" she heard Me'ren's muffled reply from outside the elevator doors.
"It's working fine as it should. I didn't think anyone but us would have used it considering the box itself looks like a fucking death trap."
"River and U'tu were on this box yesterday, Na'reem. What excuse do you have for not telling them? We had a meeting about this. Safety procedures and fault protocols are to be handed out before setting our clients to their destiny. Damn it, I'm setting another recourse about this for next week."
"How should I know they were going to bring additional crew?"
"For goodness sake, Na'reem. Sul'ahvi is the oracle of the future! It never occurred to you to go and ask him?" Me'ren shouted in frustration.
She felt Aidan slipped away from her, taking away the warmth of the sun with him. And she was cold. Doubly cold, especially with Crow seeping what's left of her body heat.
With one arm, the not-so-sun-prince pried away the door open like it was made of butter. Did he seem stronger? Or was he always like this? She watched his back expanding bigger as he took deep careful breaths.
Taking a peek to the side, she pushed past him and out of the elevator.
"Na'reem. Me'ren. It's good of you to meet us here..." Her words trailed off when she looked to see their slackened faces turning pale ashen as if they were being stared down by the wrath of God.
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