《Queen of the Sun (Book 1)》Chapter 14 • Illogical Emotions
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"Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife."
― Kahlil G.
Silence permeated the throne room. They looked to the frozen hyenas and the paralyzed Ensign and Lady. "Haven't they woken up yet?" Aidan asked.
The chestnut head kid perked up after him. "Are they dead?"
Crow replied, "They're vipers." Crossing his arms, he observed them closer. "Probably give them a few more days to completely purge the venom."
Lann'a patted the lifeless hyena on the head, "He was a good boy." she murmured under her breath, "He knew how to recognize sound signals like they were supposed to."
Another kid stroked the head of the second hyena like he has done so many times before, "This one bit me as a cub. I screamed so hard back then that he never so much as opened his mouth around me ever since."
River swallowed the surge of emotions building up behind her throat, "What are their names?" she muttered, leaning down close to them for comfort.
Both kids turned, pressing their cheeks against her neck.
"They have no names." Lana said tightly. "They weren't built up to form any connections. They were raised to become shields. Animal shields. No more than that."
River searched for Crow, "Can't you do something about this?"
He shrugged, "Not a healer."
Standing up, she said. 'Need I remind you that you're a behagthi, too?'
His features tightened, "I've not forgotten, starlight"
"Then have a try in fixing this."
He uttered a long-suffering sigh, "It's poison. Once it's in there, it's in there. There is no fixing it unless you're a viper."
"They told that you are a master of poisons." she stated, stepping up and gaining her ground to level gazes with him.
He canted his head to the side, stepping even closer to her, shadows darkening his gaze, "I create poisons. Make them in however manner I please. And the only manner I make them is in death. This is who I am. Crow, a master of death and poison. What would you have me do? Give them a faster death?"
She drew back from him, "No!"
"Then I sincerely hope you weren't asking me to kill them in mercy, starlight. I create. Not destroy."
She gasped, "Are you completely absolving yourself from the consequences of your creations? You killed thousands, if not thousands more. The shaman's prophecy proves this."
"No prophecy dictates of who or what I am. The actions of what others choose to make are not my responsibility." he gritted, "As I said. I create. Not destroy."
"You create to destroy." she retorted, "Don't you think your intent gives you some semblance of accountability?"
Aidan called from somewhere, "Guys, I've got an idea."
Crow continued to advance, snickering in her face. "You're a behagthi, an outsider. What the hell do you know? You are not from around here. You don't know what it's like."
"I'll have you know that this behagthi just saved your life. Or have you forgotten that, too? Oh right, maybe its because you're not from the sun tribe."
"Like I needed any saving. And just so you know, I don't need to be from the sun tribe to know how freaking stupid your plan was."
Color bloomed in her cheeks, "It saved your life, didn't it?" she almost shrieked.
"Starlight, that sort of singing would have startled anyone awake in their grave."
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"Don't patronize me. Is that any way to treat someone who had ju—"
A sharp tug pulled her back by the elbow. It was Lann'a peering up at her with the viper still coiling around her hips, she had a worn-out look and exhaustion hung like a heavy cloak around her.
"Lets not do this in front of the kids." Crow said, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Guys!" Aidan repeated, "I said I've got an idea. Head on over here!"
Crow strode to him standing next to the wolf, "Keep it down. I'm surprised more guards hadn't even bothered bursting in here with all the ruckus the lot of you were making." he murmured, "Whatever happened to them, anyways? You couldn't have entered in here without alerting some of the guards."
"Don't worry about it," Aidan said, tipping his chin up, arms closed. "Do you remember following their music in the dark when we were unconscious?"
Crow leaned into him after dropping a furtive glance at the children who were busy crowding around U'tu. "I wish I can't, but yes. I do remember."
The corners of his mouth tipped up slightly, giving Crow a sympathetic shrug and shook his head. "It isn't going to be anything like what they did. But I believe the wolf can replicate a similar enchanting music." he said, nodding to the wolf.
"Enchanting" he mocked.
River reached up and tugged his ear down sharply, eliciting a hissed growl from him. "Shame on you. We worked very hard to be able to do it together in just one night, mind you. We succeeded in what we set out to do, nevertheless, so you don't get to criticise, you jerk." she said under her breath before dropping a quick glance at the children who were animated at what U'tu was telling them.
Crow pierced her with his glare. "Are you sure? Because it didn't sound like you had any practice at all."
She rose up on her tiptoes, looking at Crow squarely in the eyes, "Try me one more time. See what happens."
Crow's eyelids fell half-mast, a smirk slowly rising on that damned face that was going to get jabbed by her damned fists of steel. "Fists of steel?" he repeated with his brows raised.
"I didn't say that out loud, did I?" she said, landing down on her heels, taken aback.
Aidan leaned in to whisper next to her ear, "He can hear your thoughts as well as I can."
"Who can do what now?!" she asked in disbelief.
Before they could reply, the wolf gave a painful howl that stretched across to complete a haunting lullaby.
Crow dipped down close to her other ear in a voice that dropped to a nighttime whisper worthy of sensual delights. It almost made her miss his actual words, "Now that isn't certainly a music I usually enjoy but it sounds more palatable than what you were doing."
Instinctively, she turned her head to face him, deciding she could tell him off. But as he was stooping down, her forehead knocked off against his square jaw. Then she was suddenly a hair's breath away from his mouth that had a full bottom lip, promising all kinds of softness and savagery, she thought, as she took in the tall imposing sight of him under the soft light of the four moons. For about a second her irritation melted away like a drop of snow melted by the sun. He had that sort of quiet domineering power that can make anyone feel small and inferior next to him and somehow the very thought sent a delicious shiver down her spine.
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He smirked.
And she stood there dumbly staring at him.
I should be offended. I'm not gonna let this jerk walk over me like I'm supposed to be stepped over and done with. I'm not a doormat. I trained for this. I have willpower. I can be assertive. I am assertive. Crap, he can hear my thoughts. Can he hear me right now? she squinted at him.
"Bailey!" a kid squealed in glee. "Morpheus!"
Suddenly, every kid was hounding over the snickering hyenas and praising them in excitement. Most of the kids couldn't reach to pet the hyenas so they showered their praise to the giant wolf who lapped it all up when he rolled to his back, tail wagging. That's when the kids started climbing on top of him. Lann'a was already ahead of them, having managed to be there first because the giant viper took her on its back, twisted its tail end then jumped way too high upwards like it was on a springboard. The two landed squarely on the wolf's chest without a hitch and the wolf hadn't seemed to mind a viper hovering on top of him.
She couldn't believe what she was seeing. It was that very viper that had recently defeated him with its deadly venom-filled fangs not too long ago. Between the viper and the wolf, the aggressiveness from minutes before was non-existent.
Aidan had a cheeky grin, "Guess they named them, after all. Even if they weren't told to."
U'tu hadn't followed the children's heat of excitement. Instead, he walked up to Aidan, giving him a hug. "Rules are stupid."
"You should know." Aidan said dryly.
"What?" the kid smiled, "You told me to break it."
"Just that one time." he said pointedly.
"You told him to break rules?" River said, "You aren't supposed to do that. It sets a dangerous precedent." Pointing to Aidan, "You know what? Shame on you. You're supposed to be an adult. Mature responsible adult. Don't go telling kids to break rules. And don't go endangering them, either."
"Don't judge me," Aidan held out his hands palms out in surrender, then shrugged. "We couldn't have been able to reach the snow tribe behagthi this much early if I hadn't persuaded anyone to break the rules."
"The name is Crow." he bit out.
Her skin prickled in awareness when he spoke behind her like a larger than life fortress wall. He was too close. Too near. She had to fight the urge to lean back into him ever so slightly just to get a lungful whiff of him. He smelled like cinnamon spice baked into an apple-crusted pie, fresh out of the oven and she wanted more. She let out a shaky breath, willing her irritation to grow back because she can't be melting like this.
No, she really can't be thirsting over a guy who has 1000% more testosterone than an average teenage boy band. Sure, them boys can grow a beard but not one of them had the intimidating silent authority quite like Crow wielded. Them boys wore their eccentricities like a badge of honor but Crow lurked on a deeper sadistic level. He wore his pain like a cloak of armor around him, keeping everyone out and pushing them away with his feral savagery. The damned snow tribe behagthi took to the dark shadows like it was his birthright. How messed up is she to even find that attractive?
More importantly, she told herself, how can I turn off this thirsting instinct? Because I certainly am not doing it on purpose.
How in the multiple universes can she even begin to un-install her instinct for men like Crow? Come to think of it, she had seen villains in superhero films who held close resemblance to the damned behagthi but none of them came close to making her feel this way. The man insults her, puts her down, and disrespects her. Dr. Malia needs to haul ass this way so she can de-construct this problematic thirst.
River's feelings were overwhelming, and it needed to stop. Whatever choice she has to make, it has to be logical. Whatever choice she needed to make, it has to fall in line to her own well-being so she can make better choices for everyone and her future.
She won't be able to make informed decisions if she is constantly overwhelmed by completely illogical instincts.
If she doesn't put a stop to it soon, Crow was going to be a weakness. Her weakness. And she can't afford to be weak when so many are looking to her for strength. The prophecy needed to be fulfilled so she can go back home. Going back home meant she can go into setting right whatever trouble has happened to Rover. She needed to fix it with Rover.
She had to.
But then what?
What else needed fixing?
Was she going to wait for another problem to fall down on her lap so she can fix that, too?
Wake up River and look around you, Dr. Malia had once told her, the world is burning for each and every one of us. We are drowning in rivers of blood, oceans of tears, and storms of ancient old. But guess what? The same thing had happened during the Black Plague. It happened in World War 2. And it certainly happened to cavemen who didn't know how to light a fire during the fiercest winter. People are always going to need help. Always.
An angel don't be rescuing souls on a broken wing. Build your wings first and fly free. Fly high enough so you can swoop in to lift them off their sorrows. But always remember that you must fly first.
Are you flying, River?
"I will stay." U'tu's stone-cold announcement broke through River's past memories. By the look on the kid's face, she knew he would remain unbending.
Aidan dragged a hand through his sun-kissed dirty blonde hair, "I am prince of the sun tribe, U'tu. I cannot risk my people in a dangerous war by stealing their children."
"You won't be stealing no one. They will come with us. On purpose. Willingly. Without a doubt about it. I beg of you, my sun prince. Please consider how they must be living right now and how they have been living under the iron fist of Ensign Rolland and his lady. They are orphans. No one wants them. No one will even be looking for them when they're gone. And the ones that do know of kids are incapacitated in stone."
"And what if they wake? Once they wake up from their slumber, they will alert each and every snow tribes in this cursed mountain and the sun tribe goes to war killing hundreds if not thousands more than last time. We don't have the luxury for war, U'tu. Not without the God tribe."
"Are you saying these children are not worth the cost of war?" Aidan turned a helpless look to River, but she continued. "These kids are getting hurt, damaged, and oppressed ever since they had set foot in this stronghold. You are not avoiding a war, Aidan. You are already in one." At that, U'tu clasped her hand in solidarity, pressing his hand into hers as though it were possible to absorb her strength by only a mere touch. "We are fighting for their freedom from torture or any degrading treatment at all. They have a right to life and education— and you will very well be delivering those unto them or so help me I will do it myself if I have to."
"It is known in the prophecy." he gritted out, "The sun prince ushers the tribe into a pillar of greatness. The Great World dictates it to be so. And the elder shaman has heard it. Heck, every tribes of the sun has heard it. They will not watch their prince rejecting Brumcia's laws. I will not be the sun prince that ushers the tribe into a pillar of ashes."
River bit out, "How can there be greatness if there are children suffering for it?"
"They are not my tribe."
"Are you kidding me? By that logic, I would have abandoned your ass if I had known that not being part of your tribe discredits any show of support."
"I never asked you to come with me. You did that all on your own."
She leaned so far into him, "I was trying to help you."
"You were helping us to help yourself." he spat. "Don't think I don't know."
Her jaw fell open. "From the moment I arrived in the sun tribe, people have been telling me who I am and what I ought to do right off the bat. But guess the fuck what? You don't know me. None of you do. No sun tribe and no prophecy tells me who I am. Part of the reason why I agreed to help you was because you said there was a whole lot of people who was going to be in a whole world of trouble if I didn't help. Plus, I never asked to solve your problems. I never asked to be behagthi."
"And I never asked to be the sun prince." he yelled at the top of his lungs, breathing hard. "From the moment I arrived in this universe at the time of my birth, people have been telling who I am and what I ought to do. You think you got it bad? I don't know who I am besides being a sun prince. I don't.. I never asked to be one."
She sobered. When he said it like that, her heart ached for him. "Do you want to be a sun prince?"
He fell in silence, gobsmacked. "No." he said, sounding defeated. "I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy."
"Well," she threw a helpless gesture, looking away "It sounds lame, anyways."
A humorless chuckle. "It does sound lame."
She peered down to U'tu who stared back at her in full wholesome courage and faith. Suddenly, a hit of realization broke through her. She never knew that the day would come for her to be making such a promise. But there she was. About to make that promise.
She was raised to be a practical, no-nonsense country girl by her grandfather but his better half, grandmother Willow, had planted seeds in her to believe in fairytales. And so, she looked to Aidan, never quite believing herself that she was about to say a nagging promise that had disillusioned billions of people back in her world.
At the risk of sounding like a fairy princess, she iterated her words to match U'tu's courage and faith with as much sincerity, "You can be anyone you want. Whoever you choose to be or whatever you choose to do, I will be there for you." she quickly followed it by adding, "So long as whoever you are or whatever you choose to do doesn't hurt anyone or degrade them in any way."
Aidan opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came from it. He observed the children walking closer to rest their hands on U'tu's shoulders. There were so many of them that they resolved to hold onto each other, piling around U'tu and River in a crescent moon to ogle at Aidan as a group.
Emboldened, she added. "Unless it's En'tum. Fuck him. He can eat shit."
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