Chapitre Dix-Huit

Espérer

Mallory

Three years prior to the day, the Armand house had been alive with hope and joy. Mallory had been in the throes of birthing pains. Jehan paced in the other room while the midwives tended to her.

Mallory would never forget that look on Jehan's face when they told him the news. When the mid-wife held their baby out to him and said, "It's a girl!" Both of their hearts broke.

Jehan didn't take the girl from the mid-wife's arms. He hung his head in shame and stormed out of the room.

That was the day Pauline, their sixth daughter, was born. While Jehan had always been kind to her, Mallory couldn't help but wonder if deep down the girl had always sensed her father's resentment.

A resentment which she hoped would soon disappear once he was presented with new hope.

And so it was that with anticipation she entered his study and interrupted his work. "Pardon me, my lord."

Jehan looked up at her from his papers, the quill still in his hand. "Yes?"

"I bring good tidings, dear." Mallory walked over to his desk, took his left hand and placed it on her womb. "I'm with child."

Jehan's hand slowly slipped away from her and down to his side. "Are you sure?" he asked, returning his eyes to his work.

"I am. I've not bled in over two months."

Jehan signed the parchment before him and folded it up. "Well, that's good, then. Pauline will soon have a little sister to play with." There was a sadness in his eyes, the same disappointed sadness Mallory was so accustomed to seeing. After their fourth daughter, Alaina, was born he had always spent the first six months of her pregnancy just assuming she was about to have another girl. Then, in the last few months, he'd become hopeful that he might finally have a son. It was this hope which had caused him greater despair, six times over.

"This one is a boy, my lord," Mallory said. Jehan looked up at her with skeptical eyes. "I can feel it in my bones, this one will be your first son."

"How can you possibly know that?" asked Jehan, but before she could answer he continued, "My dear wife, I've never blamed you for a moment for never bearing me a son."

"Never?" Mallory crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Well... fine, that's a lie, but I know it's not your fault. You can no more decide to give me a son than I can decide to give you... the moon."

"This one is a son, dear, I know it."

Jehan stuck his quill into the ink-well, folded his hands on his desk, and asked. "How? How do you know?"

"I prayed for an answer with the priests," said Mallory. "They placed a bottle of salt-water on the altar and prayed with me, 'Lord Lyr, if the child of this womb be a boy may this water be fresh when this woman drinks it. If the child be a girl may the water remain salty.' Then, when their prayer was done, I took the bottle and drank."

"It was fresh water?"

"It was." Mallory took both of his hands in her own and looked into his eyes. "My love, you're finally going to have a son!"

Jehan rose from his chair and pulled her into a tight embrace. By his uneven breath she could tell that he was starting to cry, but he didn't want her to see his tears.

His voice was just above a whisper. "I... I couldn't be happier..."

"I know," Mallory said. She kissed the tear off her husband's cheek.

For the next few hours after that Jehan was more affectionate with her than he had been in months. Perhaps even years. He held her hand and kissed each of her fingers. He spoke only sweet words to her. He ran his hands through her hair and laughed with her. It was as it had been during their courtship.

And his affection wasn't just for her. He ran and played with their girls again, as if he saw in them more than just a reminder that he had no son.

When his energy left him he fell onto the grass with them and laughed.

"Papa! Get up!" said Pauline, nudging him.

"Sorry, little one," said Jehan. "Papa's too old to play as much as you do."

"Papa isn't old!" she said.

"Is so!" said Alaina. "His hair is gray and whiskers grow on his nose!"

Jehan chuckled. "Alaina's right, if not overly-honest." He patted Alaina on the head. "But soon you'll have someone new to play with."

"What'sat mean?" Pauline asked.

"Mommy's having another baby," said Maika.

The girls all looked to their mother for her to confirm this news, and she nodded to them. "But this one will be a boy."

"You're going to have a little brother," said Jehan.

Pauline and Alaina smiled widely, equally excited for their new brother to arrive. Maika and Giselle on the other hand just stared at him with skeptical eyes. Much like their father, they had hoped and been disappointed enough times to doubt any future promises.

Bless their hearts, they didn't yet know that this child was a promise from Lyr. Once they understood that surely they would have enough faith to believe a son was soon to be born.

But Mallory had no time to explain this to them at the moment. From behind her she heard, "Ahem."

She turned her head to see a man in his mid-forties standing behind her. His black hair was cut short, with gray at his temples. A scar ran along his cheek, and he walked with a crutch because his left leg was missing.

"Blaise," Mallory said, greeting her husband's spymaster.

"My lady." Blaise bowed his head to her. "I need to speak with you and your husband."

"Of course," said Mallory.

Jehan gently pushed his daughters off him. "Sorry, girls, I have work to do."

Pauline and Alaina let out disappointed groans as their father and mother left with Blaise.

The three of them met in Jehan's study and locked the door. The last to enter the room, Blaise turned and said, "I have a letter here." He held a rolled piece of parchment. "I thought you'd want to see it."

Jehan took the letter, unrolled it, and went white as he read its contents.

"What does it say?" Mallory asked. She pushed herself up onto her toes to try to see what was written there, but Jehan rolled it back up.

Blaise, apparently not catching Jehan's not-so-subtle hint that he wanted whatever this was hidden from Mallory, blurted out. "It's an anonymous letter saying, 'I know what you and Obert are hiding.' Then it demands gold to keep the secret."

Jehan crumpled the letter in his hand.

"Obert?" Mallory asked. "Who's Obert?"

"He's... a bishop I know," said Jehan. "I've worked with him a few times to try to hunt down witches and witch-born in the Empire..."

Mallory nodded, though she knew he was hiding something beyond that. Surely that was not the full story. "And what is this person claiming they know you're hiding?"

"I was confused by that too," said Blaise. "As far as I know, everything you and Bishop Obert have done together has been public knowledge."

From what Mallory could tell, Jehan refused to look at her as he said, "I... I have no idea what they're talking about."

She saw her husband's fist clench and the parchment crumpled softly from the sweat of his palms. What was he hiding even from his wife and spy-master? The thought of how weighty the matter must be to warrant such secrecy caused her to cringe.

"Then... it's a bluff?" asked Blaise.

"Yes." Jehan crumpled up the paper. "It's a bluff. For now, pay them off, but have your agents try to find out who's responsible for this. Keep a close eye on house Loup and house Renart."

"Why them?" asked Mallory.

"Have you already forgotten what happened to Corina?" Jehan snapped.

Mallory bit her lip and looked away from him. Her hands folded in her lap, and she tried to withhold her tears.

Jehan sighed. "My lady, I'm sorry. That was unkind of me. What I mean is... Corina died while attending the ballet with Leon Renart. I'm still not entirely convinced Duke Renart had no hand in that. He may be trying to ruin me."

"If it's just a bluff, why are you paying him?" Mallory snapped back. He winced at her question. Good. Let him feel just a hint of the hurt he'd caused her. He was a good man, but at times she reveled in muzzling him when he snapped.

"In case he intends to spread a lie." Jehan wrung his hands as he spoke, and his eyes were constantly roaming the room. "I need to know what his game is. Then I can endeavor to prove that whatever he tells people about me is false."

"I see..." Mallory glared at him, hoping that her piercing gaze would dig up whatever else he was hiding. She wanted to give him the chance to come clean about whatever it was that made him turn pale when he read that letter.

"I have to go visit the bishop," said Jehan. "Maybe he has some idea what slanders this blackmailer intends. In the meantime, Blaise, do as I said."

"Yes, your grace," said Blaise.

Jehan kissed Mallory on the cheek. "My dear, I'm off to visit Obert."

"Be safe," Mallory said, hugging herself.

Once Jehan had ridden away, Mallory searched out Blaise. She found him leaving the room where he met with all his agents.

"Blaise, I have another task for you," she said.

"Yes, my lady?"

"I want you to assign agents to find out just what it is that my husband and the bishop are hiding."

Blaise glanced left and right, making sure no one else heard her request, then leaned in close to her and whispered. "I cannot betray my lord..."

Mallory hissed back. "Blaise, you will do as I say or I will inform my husband of your fondness for young men, do you understand?"

"My lady..."

"You know how the Church feels about that," said Mallory. "And you certainly know what my husband would do if he found out that his own spymaster was a-"

Blaise cut her off. "I'll do as you say!" He buried his face in his hands. "By Lyr! I've resisted the temptation for years and my sins still haunt me!"

"And because you have repented, Lyr will not condemn your soul to ruin for it," said Mallory, placing a hand on his shoulder. "But that means you have to deal with the consequences of your actions in this lifetime. This is one of those consequences."

"I... I understand..." said Blaise.

"Be glad, my friend. You could have suffered far worse than this. Lyr forbid the police found out!"

Blaise shuddered. "I'll find out what they're hiding and report back, my lady."

"Thank you."