Differences Become More Obvious

(Samantha)

Spoiler :

So Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and all the rest of the various seasons greetings depending on your culture ;)

You may object but the flash backs shall continue anyway Muhahhah! Well actually they may end sooner then I expected but I think there is a reason for them...(there has to be or else all my writing has been pointless)

Lucy continued to look at us with an undisguised sneer then, she seemed to come to her own conclusions and smiled as she said to me.

“So you have been helping the fat useless lard with her homework? How sweet?”

Had she always sounded that patronizing? I had always known she wasn’t a nice person, I referred to her as evil, in my head all the time after all, but wasn’t this reaction a bit much. I looked at my mother with a frown on my face.

“Mom did you hear that?” I asked a bit concerned.

“Lucile it isn’t very lady like to use such course language.”

My mother said immediately without much energy.

Look, I thought to myself, I know you are probably tired but shouldn’t you use at least a bit more effort in defending her? Not being lady like had practically nothing to do with the real crime after all.

I felt peeved but I kept silent, knowing from past personal experiences, that when my mother sounded like that, not only would further requests for action do nothing but let us hear a few more unenthusiastic reprimands or perhaps equally weak requests for the inflictor to apologize, but also even though she occasionally said the words, I felt that in the end Lucy was incapable of remorse.

However I still had a burning desire for justice in my heart so I looked to my father with my final hope in my eyes. To my disappointment though not to my surprise, he had a blank almost bored look in his face and it seemed having entering last he ‘apparently’ didn’t hear anything at all.

So in the end I didn’t say anything, though he was usually somewhat more effective in disciplining us then my mother, he usually acted more on emotion than truth and Lucy usually could lead him by the nose.

Out of concern I lastly looked at my sister, and saw that she had her usual slightly smiling, glossy eyes expression that I had seen on her face many times before but until now it had never registered as off. She didn’t say anything, and just sat there, I noticed that the hand that held the writing implement was now relaxed and that the notebook she was using was leaning to the side seemly forgotten.

For the first time I felt real burning anger at the rest of my family, and unlike the times in the past where I felt something similar I found that I could not swallow it down and pretend to ‘forget’ about it.

Besides the anger there were other repercussions when before I had really looked forward to their visits and had greatly enjoyed myself and felt less lonely while they were here and I now found myself almost in a state of misery.

I never really noticed before how many times, they apparently felt that they had to insult my sister Ramona. Of course Lucy was the worst, but now and then my mother would out rightly agree with her, or give her own ‘helpful criticism’ and my brother and father would give ‘advice’, that unlike my mother’s ,sweet but cutting subtle comments ,was nowhere near as well disguised to hide the insults and braggery that all the comments really were.

After a while, in a situation that I am used to, though one that has never ceased to annoy me, (do I really lack so much in having a presence even a negative one?) they eventually turned their attentions back to me.

Immediately their expressions turned from ugly to well ‘sweet’, except maybe my dad, for that guy seems to have practically a poker face nearly 24/7.

They asked, how I was feeling, they asked how my school work was going and they even asked such menial things as ‘what’s you’ve been up to?’, Fine, alright, and watching movies was basically my reply. Their obligation done, they then focused on what they really wanted to actually talk about which was of course themselves.

I admit I am exaggerating a bit here and there, and being a little harsh. Even still, none of what they then said was out of my expectations or even my most conservative guesses, and I soon ‘secretly’ became a little –well ok I shall admit it quite bored.

I had never really thought about it until then, but other than our shared interests in athletics and the great outdoors I and my family didn’t really have a lot in common. For one thing they were all majorly competitive, even my brother though I am not sure he would be so in his natural state, he was such a people pleaser that in the end only what they wanted for him mattered. So basically they all did their various competitions mainly for the sake of winning.

While I did athletics it was firstly for health, secondly because I found it slightly entertaining and lastly because I felt like I didn’t really have much to do. Ok, I will also allow that I am more similar to my brother then I would like to admit, and thus I also like ‘doing things for the sake of pleasing others’ but I would also like to think that I have far more of a backbone.

Everytime I am asked to do something I usually actively work to make a decision on whether or not to do it, after weighting the pros and cons. While my brother, well I this is just my prospective, keep that in mind, but my brother seems to submissively go along with anything just so long that the person who asks him is either A older and or B in a position of authority.

This is of course with the strange exception of my sister Ramona and a few sad unpopular people that he shuns for not being a part of his crowd.

Anyway, as I was saying I was starting to get bored at their retelling of their lives since their last visit, basically something that could have easily been covered without the necessity of a visit if they had just added a bit more words through the messages and emails they had sent me.

So eventually even they got tired of hearing themselves speak, and after saying their goodbyes and wishes for me to get better soon, they left without so much a glance at Ramona.

I turned and looked at her concerned, wondering if we should get back to homework, or something else, at the same time wondering if being treated that way had hurt her feelings when Ramona suddenly blinked then said.

“Oh darn it, I just realized that I should have asked to go back with them, if I had gone home early I would have saved on bus fare.”

She cared more about saving money than she did about our family’s near abusive treatment of her. Hearing this, there was nothing I could do but burst out into laughter to the point that I became out of breath. Sadly my exuberance also partly triggered the reason for my hospitalization and the pain quickly killed my humor and I continued my panting for a completely different reason.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and at the same time cool warmth within my heart that made all the pain and causes of fade away greatly. I looked up and saw Ramona looking at me with a familiar expression of concern. Touched, I gathered the gumption to ask.

“Why didn’t you fight back?”

She acted like she didn’t understand what I meant but when I insisted of awhile she gave in. The reasons why she had kept her silence were simple. Didn’t I notice that if she talked usually they would start putting her down even more? And then didn’t they usually get angry and start pointless loud arguments that didn’t get anywhere?

If she already knew the results why should she bother wasting her energy to provoke them? Besides wasn’t that kind of violent atmosphere nonconductive to creating a healing environment for a sick person?

Besides, she may be able to silently take some insults but even she had her limits giving herself the freedom to respond would definitely stretch her inner limits o the point of bursting. She would probably end up in a shouting match where the conclusion would most likely earn her a punishment such as a grounding, or even worse mom could shut off her internet.

Now what could I possibly say to that?