Two hours later and I was still livid.

I tried to let it go, try to understand why Noah had responded the way he did. And I did understand, to a point. I had perhaps an additional twenty-four hours notice than the brothers, so that’s how much more time I would give them to adjust to the situation we found ourselves in. I wasn’t so blind as to think that if I ignored the problem that it would magically disappear or solve itself, like Noah and Jonah both seemed to be doing today.

I’d learned that lesson the hard way, more than once.

If there was a problem, whining would get a you nowhere. It wouldn’t change the situation, wouldn’t make things easier. Sure, there was a time to complain about it, but ultimately if that’s all you did, you’d never grow or learn or solve it for yourself. You’d have to live with the consequences of inaction.

I decided that the rest of today would be spent with inaction while I waited for Noah and Jonah—or truly, just one of them—to come to his senses. Tomorrow, I’d start to fight my way through the problem.

Somehow.

I sighed, running my hands through my tangled hair for what had to be the fortieth time, slouching down into the comfortable reading sofa. It was old, made of a beautiful rich leather, and I had dragged it into a far corner from its usual place to attempt to hide from anyone passing by casually. It would do no good if someone was actually looking for me.

Another lesson I learned the hard way.

“Eliza, I know you’re in here,” came a voice. It took me a second to recognize it as belonging to Adam.

Well, shit.

I sighed again, allowing myself to be overly dramatic for the rest of today. Was I usually such a damsel in distress? No. Did that mean that I didn’t have my moments?

Also no.

I closed my eyes, leaning my head back against the arm of the loveseat. My feet dangled over the other armrest and I tapped my foot mindlessly. I even threw an arm over my eyes for good measure a fraction of a second before Adam stepped around the towering bookshelf and spotted me.

“You can be so predictable in some ways, and utterly surprising in others,” he said. I could hear the amusement in his voice, and wasn’t in the mood to be laughed at.

“That so?” I deadpanned.

“Yes.” I heard him shift as he stepped closer. He wrapped an arm underneath my knees and lifted my legs to sit down on the other half of the loveseat, settling my legs over his lap. I shifted uncomfortably, not particularly thrilled with the intimacy of the seating arrangement. Not with our history.

He draped an arm casually across my legs. I left my arm across my eyes, ignoring the heat rising in my cheeks. Maybe if I didn’t look at him, he wouldn’t notice.

“Why are you hiding in here?”

“Does it matter?”

“I guess not. Unless you’re shirking your responsibilities to ensure our alliance with the Blood Moon pack. In which case, it’s back to work for you. Go wield your womanly charms or whatever it is you females do to trap unsuspecting, well-meaning gentlemen.”

“But of course not,” I said, voice dripping with sarcasm, suppressing a grin. I yielded, shifting to sit up. Adam kept my feet in his lap when I made to tuck them underneath myself.

Our eyes met. He looked away first.

“Why don’t you tell me what’s been going on?” he prompted, deflecting. I waited a handful of seconds to see if he’d add anything in the silence. He didn’t.

“Well.” I huffed out a breath. “It’s hard to get to know someone who is determined to avoid you. Times two, and it’s even worse.” I shrugged one shoulder.

“Did you try talking with them?”

“Obviously. Jonah won’t even give me the time of day. Which, you know, fine, or whatever.” I waved a hand dismissively. “He certainly isn’t Mr. Sunshine. I don’t think he’s actually looked at me for more than five seconds.”

“And Noah?”

I pressed my lips into a tight line. “He’s…kinder. More…sociable? Polite? I don’t know. He at least looks at me when I’m talking to him. But he’s not interested in entertaining the possibility that we might work together, if we actually gave things a try. It’s so frustrating! I mean…” I paused, pulling my legs out of Adam’s grip and standing to face the wall of books as I took what was supposed to be a calming breath. It didn’t work. My hands ended up in my hair again. I was going to give myself a bald spot if I wasn’t careful.

The entire situation was absolute shit.

“It’s utter shit, isn’t it?” Adam asked quietly. I could feel his eyes on me as I fought my own brain, tried to reason with it. I had to remind myself that I was giving them until tomorrow. That they wanted this just as much as I did. And that they were surprised without warning, just like I had been. It wasn’t fair for any of us. And I had to give them time to wrap their heads around it. But that wasn’t what was truly eating away at me.

I finally turned to look at Adam as a bitter laugh escaped me. “I promised myself that I would never be anyone’s second choice,” I admitted.

The flash of hurt in Adam’s eyes was unmistakable. I ignored it. This wasn’t about us or about our past. It was about my now, and if he felt hurt by what he did to me years ago, then that was his own damn problem.

“And yet, here I am, not even being a fucking choice for someone at all! Let alone being given a choice myself! No one can reasonably say that picking between just two is a real choice. It’s not. And I try to make it make sense, even just a little bit. I try to reason with myself and with them. But neither of them will work with me. Because, to them, there’s a fifty-fifty shot they’ll be stuck with me, but won’t look past their own goddamn selfishness to see that I am in a significantly worse position than either of them are because no matter what I’m one hundred percent fucked!”

I had always prided myself on keeping my cool in front of everyone, no matter what bullshit was happening with the pack or myself. But I was beyond done with trying to keep my head down and trying to make sure I didn’t cause problems.

Nearly panting, my hand shot forward and grabbed a hardcover book at random. I spun, cocking my arm back and launching the thick tome across the library. It hit a bookshelf against the far wall, knocking a shelf’s worth of books to the floor as it collided.

Adam appeared in front of me, his big hands capturing my wrists and holding them up between us, resting against his chest. One of his thumbs ghosted over the back of my hand. I stared at nothing as I caught my breath from my outburst.

“I’m not saying that this makes anything okay,” he began, “but everyone makes mistakes.”

“Yeah, but—“

“Shh, hang on. Let me finish.” A pause. “Look at me, Elisandra.”

His use of my full name surprised me into meeting his eyes.

“Everyone makes mistakes,” he repeated. “Including those two who don’t know the gift they’ve been given. And, frankly, it’s their loss if they don’t want to take the time to get to know you. You’re so strong, and thoughtful, and it’s a damn shame that you’re going to be leaving us.”

“Please, the only ones who will miss me are my father, Asa, and Valorie.”

“Not true. I know, for a fact, that Stephanie adores you.”

I managed a weak laugh. “She hardly counts. She’ll grow up in a few years and want nothing to do with me when she becomes all angsty.”

“Maybe. But for right now, she loves you. And will be so upset when you leave.”

“Four people isn’t a lot of friends. Especially when one is your dad and another is six.”

“Well, then, count me in the group of people that will miss you.”

I pulled my hands away as I shook my head. “We haven’t talked in years, Adam. So it doesn’t count.”

“What about now? Doesn’t now count?”

“No.” Obviously not. Didn’t he see that? Or was he just trying to make me feel better?

“Why not?”

I gave him a hard look. “You can’t miss someone you don’t know anymore. We’re not friends. We haven’t been for years. We don’t talk, ever. And we just can’t ignore what happened between us and go back to being pals, Adam. That’s not how this works. As much as I pretend you didn’t, you actually hurt me. That’s not something that I can just choose to forget about. I can’t pretend that everything is fine and dandy. Because it isn’t.”

Adam took a step back, dropping my hands, and looked off to the side as he ran a hand down his face. “I know I hurt you, Eliza. God, I know I did. And I’ve been spending the last four years just hoping that you didn’t hate me.”

I crossed my arms across my chest and waited for him to continue. It took a him a minute. But I wanted to know what he had to say for himself. He’d declined the opportunity to explain everything three years ago when I caught him making out with a girl five years our senior. He and I hadn’t been official or exclusive, but it was a given between us.

At least, I had thought so.

“I seriously fucked up with Melissa. And I am so, so sorry that I hurt you. I never thought I would be that kind of asshole.” He took a deep breath, as though to steady himself for what he was about to say next. He looked at me then, eyes blazing. “I was scared.”

I scoffed. “Scared? Really, that’s your excuse? What were you so scared of, then?”

“I was scared of how much I loved you.”

Every atom in my body froze.

“That’s not funny.” My words sounded far away to my own ears.

“I’m being fully serious right now, Eliza. Please. I know that I can’t undo the hurt I caused. I’ve been trying to figure out how to talk to you for the past two days after learning I would lose you forever. I didn’t…I wanted to…Fuck. I’m screwing this up right now.”

“You don’t say?”

“Hush. I’m trying here, okay?”

“It’s too little, too late, Adam,” I told him. I shook my head. “You just can’t wait until you’re about to lose someone to try to make things better. Do you know why?”

He didn’t answer me. He didn’t look at me.

“Because you never know when you might lose someone for good. Without warning. And waiting is cowardly.”

“So why didn’t you say anything?”

“Who said I had anything to say to you after what you did?” I stared him down, waiting for him to dare to look at me. “It seemed pretty clear to me that I certainly had nothing to apologize for. And it was also clear that you were done with whatever we had going on between us. What more was there to say?”

Silence met me as tears stung my eyes. Adam looked defeated, his shoulders sagging, dark brown hair falling in front of his eyes.

That’s what I thought.

If he had nothing more to say, then I was leaving. I wasn’t going to wait around until he finished moping over his own damn mistakes. And I certainly wasn’t going to come back here anytime soon if he knew to find me here. Not to mention his older brother, who I also wanted to avoid.

I turned, willing the tears to wait until I was back in my room. If I could make it there, I could cry over everything that was wrong in my life. No mother. No choice. No love.

Adam’s hand caught my wrist again, and he spun me around and pressed forward until I was backed up against a bookshelf, his body flush against mine. Heat rushed up my neck and into my cheeks.

“What are you doing?” I hissed at him.

“What I should have done a long time ago.” His eyes were shining. “I’m truly sorry that I hurt you, Eliza. I was scared of what I felt for you. I thought that if I messed around a little it would help me not feel so strongly. But it didn’t. And then when I lost you, it was worse. I told myself that I didn’t deserve you, not after what I put you through. So I contented myself to leave you alone and love you from afar. That maybe one day, when we were older, I’d earn your forgiveness.

“And then I blinked. And now we’re twenty-two, barely adults, and I no longer have the time to wait for even a chance with you. And these past two days have been tearing me apart from the inside. And I just…”

He tilted his head forward. His nose stroked mine, gently, as we shared breath. Both of our hearts were racing; he was so close that I could see his pulse in his neck.

“Please, please, Eliza.” I wasn’t sure what he was asking permission for, but I wanted to grant it, even though I knew that I shouldn’t. Couldn’t.

“This is not a good idea,” I whispered. It wasn’t worth the heartache. How did he expect this to turn out, anyways? With his father breaking off the alliance he needed so his son could be with me instead, and risk losing the respect and protect of the Blood Moon pack? Even if I gave in just for now, allowed us to explore whatever was left between us, it couldn’t last. There was no chance for us anymore. It was too late.

“Why not?” Somehow, he inched closer, and I pressed my back into the bookcase.

“This won’t end well, for either of us.”

It took a lot of self-control for me to push back on his chest to create some distance between us.

Why did he have to wait until everything was out of our control to admit to everything?

His eyes searched mine for a moment before he took a step back, nodding.

“You’re right.”

“I wish I wasn’t,” I said unintentionally. But, still, it didn’t matter. “Maybe the next time you break a girl’s heart, don’t wait around until it’s too late.”

He jerked away as if I had slapped him.

“Don’t try to seek me out again,” I added. “I have enough to worry about without wondering if you’re waiting around the corner for me.”

I didn’t wait for his response. My heart couldn’t take it. Tears filled my eyes, blurring my vision as I made my way out of the library by memory alone. I turned left, aiming for my room, when I collided head-first with a tall, sturdy someone.

Pain exploded across my nose, and I reeled back, covering my face. At least I’d have an excuse for my watering eyes now.

Two hands grabbed my upper arms, steadying me as I leaned forward.

“You okay?”

I looked up into Jonah’s face.

Great.