《Rising of the Battlecook》From the Pit, Into the Stew
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– Sorry, I think I misheard you. Could you please repeat? – Katsumi laughed in disbelief.
– I picked you to become my champion! – Esidezhu raised their goblet.
– B-But wait, I was summoned to be your chef!
– No one said such, you just jumped to conclusions.
– Then what's up with that speech about our history? Was that just small-talk?
Esidezhu calmly drank their wine and signaled to a waitress for more. He rushed to the kitchen, returning with a brown jug and slowly filling their goblet. They drank that, then signaled for another round.
– Hey! – Katsumi raised her voice. – I asked you a question!
Quietly finishing their wine, Esidezhu grabbed the cage sitting on their head and held it before the girl. Taking a closer look, she noticed that the pig's eyes were fishy, devoid of life. Other than that, it looked normal.
– Before you can begin your work, we need to discuss three important rules.
Esidezhu raised one finger.
– First, you're my property. I gave you a second chance in life so what I say, you do. How you accomplish given goal is up to you. After all, you're the hero of your story. I'm just your guidance, a helpful spirit. Give us a surprise!
– What if I fail?
Esidezhu held out one hand, grabbing the air before her.
– What are you…
With a resounding gong, her soul was pulled from her body. She was floating. The other guests disappeared and only a blueish fire remained in their seats. All sounds stopped. Only she remained. And Esidezhu. She felt the cold hand on her hips. She was getting pulled into the huge mouth, that appeared even bigger and deeper than it was before. Darkness consumed the bottom of their throat.
– Hey, quit it dude! Oy!
She felt her soul being sucked down the bottomless throat. Her spectral body was disappearing and the world around her became more and more an indistinguishable blur.
– Okay, I get it! Please, stop!
With a whoosh, she was sucked back into her body. The other guests didn't have any reaction, as if only she saw her soul being devoured.
– Uh, I feel like throwing up…
Esidezhu raised two fingers.
– Second, my blessing is your only blessing. If someone offers you another, you refuse.
– What about when I sneeze and someone says 'bless you'?
– If it's an ordinary human, you kindly thank them and move on. If it's a high-level spirit, you refuse.
– Gonna' be hard to stay polite.
– Breaking this rule brings you the same fate as breaking the first one.
– Jeez dude, I get it…
Esidezhu held up three fingers.
– Third, you're…
They suddenly stopped.
– What, you forgot? – Katsumi crossed her arms.
– No… let's not spoil all the fun. I'm curious whether you'll try breaking it. But remember, if you try to defy my will…
– Okay, okay! I get it! You saved me from becoming a puddle of blood, you think I'm not grateful? Even if you hadn't sucked on my soul, I would help you out. It's just I don't understand your logic. I never had to fight my entire life! I only ever got beat up by other girls and that's it. But fine! You want me kicking some ass? Give a time and place, I'll do my best.
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Esidezhu finished their wine and leaned forward. Due to not bearing any facial expressions, only their gesture spoke of curiosity.
– I have high expectations for you, Miss Katsumi.
– Why thank you! I haven't won a fight in my entire life, but sure!
– Now… – Esidezhu slapped their hands together, creating a sound louder than thunder. – Begin!
Green circles appeared, shining with a blinding light. They were of a matter she didn't recognize. A matter of their own. As they fully engulfed the girl with one final flash, both them and Katsumi disappeared.
The feast continued onward with the same revelry as before. Esidezhu calmly continued their wine, leaning back in the throne. The pig with the peruke from before waltzed out of the kitchen and respectfully bowed.
– Master! I'm not one to question your will, but your last interaction made me quiet unwell.
– Well, her failure means just another soul for my belly. Nothing more, nothing new.
– No, my Master! What I meant was you forgot to tell her the…
– She doesn't need to know. The others before did and you know how they ended up. How we ended up.
– Yes. I'm sorry, Master. Allow me to bring you another wine…
– Kiyaaah! – she screamed, before water muffled her voice. – Help me! I'm drowning! Someone help me!
– Uh, lady? What are you doing in the fountain?
Katsumi opened her eyes to see a blonde boy look back at her with concerned eyes. She was sitting in the shallow water of a fountain. Getting out of the it, she tried shaking the water off, but instead just made the boy wet.
– Stop! What is wrong with you?
– Oh, sorry! I just got here… via teleportation, I guess.
She was in the middle of a town square. The buildings around her were different than what she was used to, most of them resembling what she saw in history books. The difference being, these were real and not ruinous.
– Uh, kid, can I ask you something?
– If you come any closer I'll scream!
– What year are we writing?
– Which calendar?
– Uh… the average one?
– Lady, I tried to be nice but you're scaring me!
His skin was caramel brown, a bit lighter than his eyes. He wore an average white shirt and a black cape on his back. His brown pants were baggy and his black shoes muddy. The top of his head almost reached Katsumi's collarbone.
– Sorry dude, I didn't mean to scare you. Truth is, I'm a…
She scouted the distance and saw a magical sight. The crowds consisted of not just humans, but mythical creatures too. Dwarves stood behind vegetable stands, orcs loaded a wagon with boxes and doglike painted the walls of a house. With every creature leaving the square, another of its unique type appeared.
'Did I get reincarnated into a fantasy world?', she thought to herself, before screaming into the skies with clenched fists.
– YEEES!!!
– I'm sorry, this was a mistake, goodbye! – the boy tried to leave, but Katsumi grabbed him by the shoulder.
– Oyoyoy, stop right there, kiddo!
– Let me go!
– Hush, quiet! I finally merged into the crowd, don't let the fanboys notice me now!
– What? What are you talking about?
– I'm a hero! – she leaned awfully close to the boy with a glittering smirk. – I'm here to save the world!
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– Wait, really?
– Yeees, yes. I uh… I'm here to fulfill a god's task!
– Seriously? What god?
– Uh, he's a…
The image of Esidezhu slowly consuming her soul flashed through her mind.
– He's a cool guy.
– If you really are a hero, prove it!
Katsumi stepped away from the kid with a blank expression. Esidezhu didn't tell her anything about the blessing she got, but also nothing about what her exact purpose is. It was time for the 'Katsumi Magic'.
– I can lick my elbow without help.
– Prove it!
She licked her elbow.
– No way!
– That right! – Katsumi nodded loftily. – And that's just a small percentage of my power! I'm Momo Katsumi! What's your name, kiddo?
– I'm Enque Aeren of the Celestial family, honored to meet you! – he kneeled down, putting one hand on his heart.
– Heh, that's what I like to see.
– How may I help you?
Her smug smile disappeared as an opportunity revealed itself.
– Yeah, about that, I'm kinda new to this place. You could say I don't know a thing about it. Mind giving me a tour?
– I'd gladly do that, but I'm on a quest myself.
– What quest?
– It's something personal... – Aeren's tone changed as he lowered his head. – Not nearly important enough to compete with the plan of a god. It's something stupid, but still important. To me at least.
The kid's shyness surprised Katsumi. He looked like any other kid, yet his stance had a sense of duty hidden deep inside it. In a weird way, the kid reminded her of herself and how it sucks to be responsible at a young age. Sympathy ignited in her hearth.
– Alright! Let's do this shit!
– Pardon? – the kid asked, scared by Katsumi's sudden outburst.
– You heard me right! Lead the way, I'll help you on your quest!
– W-Wait, really?
– Sure thing! You're still too young to go adventuring alone, but with the guidance of a hero, you'll sure accomplish your goals. I promise. So let's do this shit!
– Thank you! – Aeren hugged Katsumi, catching her off-guard.
– Hey, kid! – she looked away, her voice wavering. – Your head is between my boobs, but okay…
With the boy's lead, she began her journey through a crowded street of mystical beings. The houses around them resembled those of medieval ages, towering into the skies with their white clay walls and brown wooden frames.
– This is the city hub.
– Looks dope!
– What does 'dope' mean?
– Oh, sorry. It means 'cool'.
– What's 'cool'?
– Just forget it…
– It's fine! I'm a foreigner myself. Pretty sure you wouldn't understand most of my slang.
– Wait, you're not from this city? Yet you're leading me like a pro… fessional.
– Well, I didn't have money to sleep in an inn and had a hard time finding a safe bench. You'd be surprised how beautiful the city is at night.
– You slept outside? Just how old are you?
– Fifteen, but I can defend myself!
– With what? You don't even have a weapon!
– I have one, it's just… you'll see.
– No need to be shy! Even if your weapon's small, it's still more than I've got. I'm kinda screwed when things come to a fight.
– But you're so agile! And your tongue is so long!
– Well… thank you?
They soon stopped before an unusual looking inn. It had the same look as the other houses, only difference being the use of stone in the walls and a much cleaner look. A sign of two clashing swords hung above its entrance.
– What's up with this building?
– This is a hub of the hero guild. Our new home.
– Oh my god, I'm gonna' have such a huge fangasm! This is exactly like the beginning of my favorite manga!
– What's a 'manga'?
– Kid, you have so much to learn! – Katsumi squealed in excitement, before being shoved by an unseen figure. – Oy, watch your step, dumbass!
It was not just an ordinary man, but one and a half in size. His skin was grey and he had no hair, just tattoos running through his body in a curious pattern. He snorted before giving the girl a frustrated look.
– You got a problem?
– A problem? Yeah I got one! – she stepped closer to the titan, puffing up her chest. – You think you're the hot stuff, eh? Just because you're taller than me? Well guess what, buckaroo! Next time you push me I'm going to…
The titan gave her a gentle slap. It was so soft, that one could call it a pat. Katsumi froze as if that small puff paralyzed her entire body.
– Uh, Miss Katsumi, are you alright? – Aeren worried, before Katsumi turned to him with a teary smile.
– Yep. I deserved this.
The interior of the inn was beautiful in its own simplistic way. Facing the entrance was a desk, behind which girls in uniform greeted visitors and handled the paperwork. Left to that was a bar-like area, where heroes could sit by small roundtables and discuss their adventures, while waitresses rushed to them to please their needs. Finally, stairs led up to a wooden terrace from which they could observe the entire room and enter the private area.
Katsumi and Aeren sat down in a corner of the room, observing their surroundings.
– This is so cool! – Katsumi's eyes glittered from excitement. – Look at all these buff dudes with their huge weapons! Oh god, I think I'm going to faint…
– Why are you more excited than me, Miss Katsumi?
– Ah come on, kid! If you're serious all the time, you're not living life to its fullest! Come on, pick one you like!
– Well, I like that lady with the white uniform. I think she looks cute.
– I'm pretty sure she's just a waitress.
– And? I just said she's… okay! – Aeren blushed, making Katsumi smile.
As she was observing the room, something strange appeared in the corner of her eye. She tried looking at it, but it didn't move, staying there in her vision.
– Hey, Aeren, do I have a bug in my eye?
– I don't see anything.
– No! Look – she pointed at the left corner of her eye –, there!
As she said that, a screen popped up displaying the following message:
/// Congratulations! ///
New Class Unlocked: 'Cook'!
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Sod's Law (Dropped)
This fiction has been dropped, you're more than welcome to read it anyway (there is sort of an ending). But you have been warned... Sod's law is a more extreme version of Murphy's law. While Murphy's law says that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong (eventually), Sod's law requires that it always goes wrong with the worst possible outcome. For example, concepts such as "bad fortune will be tailored to the individual" and "good fortune will occur in spite of the individual's actions" are sometimes given as examples of Sod's law in action. This would broaden Sod's law to a general sense of being "mocked by fate". In these aspects it is similar to some definitions of irony, particularly the irony of fate. - Definitions of Sod's Law on Wikipedia. The protagonist, as many before them, and many who followed, thought they were just entering a VRMMORPG (Virtual Reality Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing-Game). Unbeknownst to them however, was a short paragraph in the Terms & Conditions, that, upon agreement, would actually transport them to a fantasy world, loosely based on the game they thought they were entering. - Something anyone could be forgiven for, no-one reads them after all. In this new world, they discover that people are born with “Traits”, a System recognised, ability, skill, or talent, that they are born with. Sod's Law was not a trait they, or anyone else for that matter, would want. Pure madness follows. Yup, this is about a character transferred to a fantasy game-world with the worst luck imaginable. This is my first fiction so I apologise for any grammar and spelling mistakes that may be made. Hopefully it is readable, and if so please tell me! But if it's not, also tell me, but in a constructive way if at all possible? Due to the nature of the “Trait” the story will be dark in places, with plenty of gore and profanity, hence the tags. There may also be scenes of a sexual nature, but nothing full on – sorry guys but you'll have to go elsewhere for that.
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The goblin god summoned a champion that will save his people from the abuse of the world. Will he be able to unite all the goblins to fight as one And conquer the world of Gaia!? Or will he fail just like any goblin, helpless in such harsh world..... Gaia..... a wondrous world with many magical creatures, such as Dreadful dragons that rule the sky, fearsome beast that roam the world, different races that battle for supremacy! Lastly the Titans! a race whose power rivals the Gods! How can he survive in such a vast and brutal world? Guess you have to read to find out. This is a fan fiction somehow related to re:monster although I don't have any plan in making him OP. But he will be OP in a different way.
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