《D-INJECT Second Birthday》(Vol 2) Chapter 23: Where One Belongs
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Terra and I stood apart from one another, eyes locked tight by locks of concerning gazes. I didn’t know how to form the right words, let alone summon the courage to even speak. Finally I let go of everything and uttered the first thing that came to my mind.
"Terra… What are we even fighting for?"
Silence. Nothing. Not a word was uttered by Terra as her eye twitched. Her gaze darkened with clouds of rage. Before I could reconcile my words, her fist slammed into my face and I was knocked down. Terra began to encase her fist with stone as she approached me. Her teeth scraped against each other as her eyes widened with fury behind them.
"What reason? You want a reason!? How about the fact that this is our only home!? We live here Heaven! That’s as good a reason as any!"
I stood up off the ground. My face felt numb, without a shred of pain. My eyes glazed over Terra’s infuriated stare as she took in deep breaths. She could hardly contain it any longer as she threw a punch straight to my gut, followed by a hook to the face.
"Damn you! Damn you straight to hell!"
The sound of her strikes echoed in my ears. The weight of her words brought me, metaphorically, to my knees. Flora ran up and restrained Terra as I drowned out the weight of the world with my own thoughts.
"What is wrong with me? Hell, can you even hear me?"
Not a single response came from within my own head. Terra had managed to calm herself down, but only slightly. Her anger turned to a bitter sadness as tears hit the ground of the pristine ivory floor. She looked up at me with her tear soaked face and screamed out once more.
"Don’t act so high and mighty all the time! Just because you got your answers, doesn’t mean your search is over, and it certainly doesn’t mean we should all stop fighting! This is our home Heaven! We have no other place to go! Maybe if you thought more about how we felt instead of your own feelings you’d feel more motivated! It’s been three whole years, grow up and face reality! You aren't the lead in some fucking play! You're not some brooding tragic hero, you're a man! Or at least… I thought you were. In reality you’re just a simple minded child. It’s time to grow up, Heaven…"
Flora put her hand on Terra’s shoulder as she wept. My heart weighed heavy with the anger fueled words of the woman I called my friend. A friend whom I had never felt more apart from, especially in that single moment. I stood still as Terra walked away from me, never looking back. Not a single time did she glance those tear stricken eyes my way as she shrunk further and further down the hallway. The greater the distance between us, the vaster that ivory void around me became. I felt lost in an empty sea of white. A sea of absence. That was when it all hit me like a tidal wave and I slid against the wall, down to the floor. I realized that even after everything I had been through, I still had not changed as much as I thought. I still had such a long way to go before I was whole again.
*****
I finally proceeded to the Ark's training room. Genesis had been waiting there for me. His patience was wearing thin. I felt the slightest feeling of petty satisfaction from making him wait. He looked at me with cold, stern eyes as I entered the room. Silence surrounded us, save for the sounds of my footsteps echoing within the cylindrical room. As I approached Genesis, he uttered a disgruntled comment.
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"About time you arrived."
I said nothing as I stopped face to face with the black coat swordsman.
"I take it you're aware of the situation?" he asked.
"Bits and pieces."
A still silence wafted over us like a sheet as the conversation continued at an awkward pace.
"So you know that you broke your Second Seal?"
"Not that I know what that means."
Genesis nodded and sighed for but a moment, before giving me an explanation.
"It means you gave into your emotions, let your power consume you. The same thing happened to Terra when the police raided the Cocoon. She believes she can find a way to control it. I think that's foolish."
I said nothing and let my eyes do the talking as I stared the black swordsman down with the glare of a wild predator.
"You're still angry, aren't you?"
"I'm finding it pretty fucking hard holding myself back right now."
A slick and manipulative looking grin crawled onto Genesis' face.
"Do you want to fight me?"
"I have half a mind to break the Second Seal again. If there is one thing I remember from before, it's that I had you on the ropes."
"Perhaps. But the last time you won against me was by the pure luck of your Mind Gate opening at just the right moment. Your powers may have grown, but you've gotten sloppy. You still can't even recall the feeling of your Mind Gate."
"What difference does it make?" I responded through clenched teeth.
Genesis then unsheathed his claymore and held it down at his side. The ring of metal on leather resonated throughout the chamber in a faint hum.
"There is only one thing left for me to do. If you want to control that power, I will have to bring you to the state that forced it open. I am going to have to push you beyond your limits. Do you understand that? I am going to break you both physically and mentally, reduce you to your most basic and primal of instincts. Three years ago will be nothing compared to this fight. Are you sure this is what you want?"
I quickly summoned my blades, strength flooding my muscles. Anger pumping out through my heart and tainting my blood with a burning desire to rend flesh. I glared at Genesis with a sickening smile.
"I'd like to see you fucking try."
"Then come at me with everything!"
"With pleasure!"
I ran towards Genesis with great speed. My swords digging into the ground behind me sparking trails of light and dark. I swung my blades up from the ground as I drew close, aiming for Genesis' head. In an instant, he blocked both strikes. My dark matter would not be able to erase his sword because he used the Mind Gate to protect it. Genesis pushed me back and swung across my gut. Blood seeped from the thin cut left in my abdomen, which quickly regenerated. I dashed forward and leapt into the air. My body spun as I came crashing down on top of Genesis. He blocked my propeller like weapon strikes and forced me back once more. His defense was almost indomitable. He really wasn't holding back. His real strength was leagues above my own. I leapt back and stared Genesis down from a good few feet away. I began to mutter to myself, hoping my Second Personality would finally speak to me. Not a single word from Hell slipped forth from my conscience. I was truly alone in that battle. Whatever it was that the Second Seal did to me, it suppressed my Second Personality. I couldn't let things stay like that for long. I had to figure out something if I was going to take down Genesis and emerge victorious.
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I decided to get creative. I focused my light matter into my heels. Before long, I discharged the energy that built up at my feet and rocketed towards Genesis. Genesis readied his guard as I shot forward like a missile. My body twirled in the air with my blades fanning out. The repetitive sound of clashing metal and raw energy rippled through the room. I landed on my feet and instantly kicked off the ground, hoping to go for Genesis' throat. My strike was in vein as Genesis deflected me once more. I felt my body shifting to the side from the block. Genesis took this opportunity to drive his foot into my gut. My body was sent flying by the force of Genesis' kick. I managed to correct myself midair and blasted myself forward, using the same trick from before. As my body hurtled towards Genesis, I cut into reality with my dark matter. I slipped into the nothingness as my dark matter blade flew towards Genesis. As it passed over his head, I appeared from within the weapon and struck at him with my light blade. I landed my first hit. My light matter sword struck Genesis across his face. He stumbled back a few feet clutching his wound as blood dripped on the ivory floors. I took advantage of the situation and ran at my opponent. Several successful strikes were laid into Genesis, before he returned the favor tenfold. He swung his claymore up from the ground and launched me into the air. My body went numb for a few moments and Genesis leapt up to greet me. I came to my senses just as he left the surface. I rained hell upon him in a flurry of light and dark beams. As I unleashed an unrelenting barrage on Genesis, I failed to notice the jagged blade of Serpent creeping up on me. Genesis had fired the weapon like a missile from his Mind Gate. Serpent pierced my shoulder and I hit the ground. Genesis landed and attempted to slam his claymore into me. I rolled to the side and kicked Genesis in the face before leaping back to my feet. The two of us ran at each other once more and crossed blades. The power of our strikes connected and we were launched back by the force. We slid on our feet and were now further apart. Genesis seemed cockier than ever.
"Here we are again. Nothing has changed since the last time we fought like this."
"Shut up."
Genesis simply grinned as he vanished from sight in an instant. I quickly turned and blocked his strike only to watch him vanish once more. Feeling his presence, I stepped back and let Genesis fall. He dashed away once more and appeared in the distance.
"You are still the same pathetic kid you were back then."
"Shut up! You don't know anything about me!"
I ran at Genesis with everything I had. He barely lifted his arm in order to block my strikes. Genesis was the one foe that always infuriated me. He was always stronger. Even after three years, he was still the stronger of the two of us. He always looked down upon me. He always stood above everyone on his pedestal, like he was Lockhart's favorite pet. I hated it. Everything about him burned at my insides. In that moment, I truly hated another human being and wanted to become his demise. But, no matter how much I tried, how hard I fought, Genesis would always prevail. As Genesis deflected and parried my attacks, he snuck in a slash from his claymore that knocked me back several feet.
"Is this it?! Is this the best you can muster!?"
I let out a raging battle cry as I surged forward. I ran blindly ahead and hoped to strike Genesis down with meaningless strikes. Tactics were slowly drifting away as my mind gave way to madness. Genesis sent me flying back as he deflected my less than tactical maneuvers. I growled through clenched teeth as I stumbled back to my feet again. I slowly began to walk towards Genesis, firing beam after beam at his powerful stance. Every projectile dissipated at the hands of his swordsmanship. I screamed out in rage as I ran at him once more, only to be sent hurtling back towards the wall.
"Fight dammit! Fight me with all you have!"
I cried out in a bloodletting scream towards the heavens as I arose. Petals of red vitality flew from my maw as if my screams were more bestial than human. My right eye began to spark its flame once again. Emotion was taking hold. Slowly but surely I would fall to the pain. I tried to pull myself from the abyss and focused everything I had on a single thought. The Gate began to open in front of me as I let out all the rage pent up inside. I can still remember the words Genesis spoke to me as I began to open my Mind Gate once more.
"That's right. Remember that feeling. Remember your pain, your anguish! Cling onto it as if it were the last thing keeping you alive in this world! Embrace that pain and fight!"
"Come on… Come on… Come on! Don’t close! Don't fucking close!"
Needless to say, my Mind Gate did not stay open. I was bent over my knees in complete exhaustion. The pressure was too much. Forcing that much concentration for what seemed like an endless period of time was beginning to take its toll on me. Unfortunately, Genesis could not afford the much appreciated luxury that was mercy.
"Again," the swordsman commanded.
"What?" I muttered as I lifted up my head, my bi-colored eyes glaring right at Genesis.
"Again," Genesis repeated and the pommel of his blade slammed into the back of my head.
I growled again as I began to drool like an animal. I slowly lifted myself up off the ground and tried once again to open the Gate.
"Focus, you need to be able to imagine the weapon in your hand,"
"I'm trying!"
I tried my best to focus on a single image. A single weapon. Nothing came to me. All I could think about was the anger welling up inside me, waiting to be released. My rage was like a pressure tank. It would swell and swell until destroying everything, including its container. The Mind Gate stayed open for even less time than my first attempt. A frustrated yell escaped my lips for a brief moment. I opened the Gate once more, attempting to focus on it and it alone. It was futile. The Mind Gate closed as quickly as it opened. I yelled out once more in total frustration. My anger was reaching critical levels, and Genesis made the mistake of continuing his badgering.
"You are never going to be able to get stronger if you don’t focus, Heaven!"
I tried again to open my Gate. The same result awaited me as it flickered away into the emptiness.
"Keep trying! Don’t stop! You have to get stronger if you want to survi-!"
Before Genesis could finish his sentence I lifted up my hand and struck my palm out towards him. A beam of dark matter flashed past his neck in that split second. Genesis’ eyes were wide with sudden surprise as his ears were deafened by my screams.
"Shut the fuck up!"
Genesis was stunned. He didn't expect that shot to hit so close to him. He knew I wouldn't miss the next one.
"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I don’t want to get stronger!?"
Genesis was speechless. In that moment, the differences between our pasts began to show themselves through the cracks in the glass that was our second lives. It was as if my so called friends had all but forgotten how I became a Demon, what I had to go through and the things I saw. Those days were still burned into my head, haunting me like ghosts from a transcendent plane of suffering. They were specters that played the role of nothing more than grim reminders of the day I lost my freedom. My body became wrapped in chains and I was at the beck and call of so many others. I was sick of it. I couldn’t take it any longer. I had to say something and make one final stand, make them all see that I am not nearly as crazy as they thought.
"All this time, everything has been decided for me! Did Lockhart ever think for a minute that I didn’t want to be saved three years ago! I’d rather be in the next life with my real Father instead of the ghost of him that lives inside my head! Instead this is what I get! A second chance where I have to fight day in and day out for my survival! How has this saved me!? How is this salvation!? How is this a good fucking life!? Answer me!"
"Heaven, you are right. I don't truly understand what you went through. But what about Terra or Fl-."
"Don’t say anything, about Terra! Her, and Flora, all they have is fucking pity for me!"
"Heaven… If we don’t fight, then all of this ends. We want to protect this life because it is better than the one we had."
Genesis continued to try and force his perspective. The perspective of all Demons. A wasted plan. It fell on my deaf ears.
"Jesus Christ! Don’t you fucking get it!? I’m not you! I never will be you! We’re you even listening!? I’d rather be dead than fighting these pointless battles! I never wanted this, it was forced on me because you thought I was someone worth saving!"
Genesis tried to defend himself, but he couldn’t. It was impossible. He, Terra, and all the others came from a vastly different world. Even still, I knew they’d listen if I were to let it all go. I took some solace in that as tears slowly began to fill up in my eyes and descend down my face.
"I thought if… I thought that if I pursued Nina all these years, and learned more about her, I would figure out why she killed my Dad. But nothing happened! My answers just fell into my fucking lap one day and now I... "
I could barely form words anymore as I collapsed into a heaping mess of sobs and incoherent babble.
"Everything just led to more unanswered questions. Nothing stayed simple. It all became a tangled fucking mess of secrets that I still haven’t solved, after three whole years. When Nina attacked Ministry Square, I felt almost relieved. I thought I could just sit back and watch this place burn… I thought I could leave the source of my pain behind… But it is never that easy is it…?"
I felt the pit of guilt widen ever so suddenly in my stomach as I struggled to form my next few words. With a heavy heart, the thoughts buried deep within my mind poured out my gaping mouth like a black river of vileness. Thoughts of pain and misery cascaded outward, creating a web of words weaved by an aching heart. Everything was crashing down at that moment, and Genesis still tried to intervene.
"Heaven…"
"Don’t say anything!"
My eyes flashed with murderous intent as I glared straight into Genesis’ eyes.
"I know how you fe-!"
In seconds I was on him. My fingers grasped around his throat and squeezed as I dashed forward. I slammed Genesis into the wall and continued to choke the life out of him. I summoned a weapon to my hands and held it to his throat. I could see the smile on his face as he was inches from being impaled on my blade.
"Don't even think about saying you know how I feel!"
Genesis began to chuckle to himself as he eyed the weapon that was pressed against his flesh. Something about it brought joy to that reclusive heart of his.
"What's so funny?"
"Look at your sword."
I shifted my gaze to my sword arm. There, lying within its grasp, was an ornate longsword. The blade sheened in the light of the room. It’s cross guard swirled like a wave of gold that brushed down the handle and lined the pommel. A single vein of gold ran down the center of the blade, adding an alluring flourish to the weapon. It was a truly beautiful weapon, one that I was somehow able to conjure up.
"Heaven, what is it you want?" Genesis asked as I continued to hold my blade to him.
"Peace," I responded, finally lowering my sword arm.
"I hate to break it to you, but you are going to have to fight for that peace."
My head lowered with a slight scowl.
"I know…"
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