《Why I am me》22. Worries of the future

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It was an uneventful evening after that discussion, quite literally. Neither Gabriel nor Arabelle talked wanted to talk about what happened and so they didn’t. After they finished eating, Arabelle simply took the plates back into the restaurant and Gabriel just sat there, waiting for her to come back out.

Once again covered in flour his sister came outside, but this time he didn’t mention anything and started walking back to the convent, not even waiting for Arabelle. She followed him quietly and they reached the church that way as well.

After reaching the church Gabriel held Arabelle’s hands for a moment, looked at her in the eyes for a few seconds and then let her go. He entered the building and went towards his shared room, while his sibling stayed behind for a moment and then entered as well.

Inside the male quarters

Gabriel was angry. Not at his sister, because of what she said nor at himself because he couldn’t do anything, but at life in general. Why did people have to judge others superficially? Did anyone out their judge people for their character and not for what they seemed to be?

But this thought only made him even angrier, as he understood very well that even though looks can be deceiving, they mostly aren’t and are a good guide to how to interact with other people. He had already acted that way and just now realized it, maybe it was instinct that acted up, feeling threatened by the unknown or a trait gained through personal experiences, traumatic or not.

He couldn’t do anything, nothing he was able to do would bring any real change. Maybe he could change the thoughts of one or two people, but the majority wouldn’t change their ways, it was unimaginable for Gabriel that these people could change.

- What are you thinking about Gabriel? – Kupi tackled his thoughts away for the moment, which was actually a relief at this point in time. Gabriel didn’t really want to think, but his mind was forcing him to think for a solution, his drive pushing him forward towards a path to nowhere.

- You know what I’m thinking about… - Gabriel commented, but with a smile on his face – thanks for keeping me here, down on earth. You know how I get when I see a problem…

- I do, I do. But there is no problem here, is there? Your sister told you to leave it to her, so trust her, she is your sister, for god’s sake. – Kupi exaggerated but his words did carry truth in them, albeit Gabriel wasn’t convinced. – You know, many times in life you’ll want to help people, but you have to learn that you can’t help everyone everywhere everywhen. It is just not possible. And so, in life, you have to learn who, where, when and how to help the people you care about. And right now, your sister doesn’t need help, she can manage it on her own. Trust me. – Kupi finished his speech and turned towards Gabriel, giving him a few pats on his back.

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But Gabriel had always been protective over his sister and customs were hard to change. And even though she had made a full recovery of the mana inside her brain, there was still a trace, and this kept Gabriel up at night. This made him remember David, who had given him some treatment ideas for his sister.

David… how would he be doing now? It had been a few years since they last saw him and maybe plants experienced time differently than bipeds. Would they experience it faster or slower than him, Gabriel thought to himself, without any idea of the answer.

- I’ll have that in mind. – Gabriel gave a short reply, not wanting to think about the topic anymore. – Anyways, weren’t you going to train me? Last thing you said was I sucked, so now tell me how to suck less.

- Straight to the point, I see. Your ego must’ve been quite affected then. If your will is so weak, how are you ever going to last my harsh and difficult training – Kupi dramatized and chortled afterward, at his own bad acting.

But he did have a training plan for me. Well not a plan, just some loose ideas which could be connected somehow to end up better than before. It started right at that moment, when Kupi gave me my first practice.

- You know that the children that go buy the weekly necessities usually come back around this hour? – Kupi started explaining and a sly smile formed on his lips after I nodded – Well I want you to change this – He takes a silver coin out of nowhere and shows it to me – chocolate coin for a copper coin of the bag of coins that they get lend.

I understood the idea of the practice, but not the details, so I inquired.

- Isn’t that stealing and as such bad? Why a copper coin and not a silver one, if I am going to put a silver one back? Do you really think I am ready for this? What will I do with the coin I take after this? – I fired question after question, but Kupi attentively listened to each and every one.

- Well, this is just a prank, you know, a copper coin won’t hurt anyone and that’s also one of the reasons behind choosing this one. – After a slight pause Kupi started walking side to side and continued – Also the weight of such a coin is very similar to this chocolate coin. If you aren’t ready for this then you may as well give up learning from me and as you are learning from me, I also need to get paid, so this copper coin will wind up in my hands after you finish this practice.

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I nodded in confirmation and agreement, with how things were going I’d need to hurry up and manage to find a way to create my own earnings, because a little bird had told me that the days of the stay of my sister and I inside the church were counted and if we were forced to leave, we didn’t have anywhere to go.

Even though the convent was a welfare organization it didn’t have infinite resources nor enough place to fit all the needy, they barely had enough for young children, and they normally were able to fit people living on the street, but the war that had happened a few years before my sister and I were born had left a lot of children without parents.

This happened either by their progenitors’ deaths or parents being forced to abandon their children in order for them to survive, resources were scarce, and children weren’t something the common person could afford, and such was the prevention of conception.

It is different nowadays, as some scientist managed to find a cheap, easy and safe way to prevent children with a mana-imbued substance which works quite well. I don’t really know how it works, but it does, and it has helped with population control quite a bit.

So, I expected our stay to end around after a year we got here and that meant that we had less than a month to prepare everything. Everything being housing, income, food, relationships and other minor things which would still take time to take care of.

And we had nothing ready. Well, it’s not like the situation was favorable at any point in time. First of all, we had to spend our first few months stuck inside the convent to learn societal rules and then we could barely go outside, but when we did, we always had to come with someone else to do something for them or the church. We barely had time for ourselves.

And… well I personally didn’t manage my time very well… in hindsight I should’ve spent less time learning about mysteries of the city or gods or stuff like that and instead prepare our life after we left the convent, like many other kids were doing.

But what’s done is done and with that thought in mind I walked towards the entrance of the precinct, and I see four kids coming this way with a lot of bags. Quickly I glance towards them to see which one has the money bad and after identifying this kid I start walking out of the church, towards the entrance.

We crossed paths near the entrance, and I quickly put the chocolate coin inside the bag and took a copper one just as fast. The three kids looked at me with disdain, but this was normal, as they didn’t like being close to me due to our physical differences.

After they had entered the main building, I looked towards the male quarters where Kupi was looking at me with a thumb up, showing his approval for my actions. I walked back towards him, and he received me with an open hand. I gave him the coin and then he grabbed my hips, which were at the height of his shoulders, as he was quite small.

- Good job Gabriel, tomorrow I’ll give you another lesson and a test and if you manage to ace it I’ll give you a first piece of my little secret.

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