The table in the common room remained very silent for a few long, torturous moments. Cat was the one staring at Peter, now, waiting for his response. His breath seemed heavier than before she “reminded” him of what he said, and the one arm that rested on the table as he faced her slowly began to draw back as he slumped in his chair.

“Wow,” he sounded. “I’ve...I...didn’t think that’s what happened.” Cat shrugged and retreated into the back of her seat. Part of her wanted to smugly rub his response in Hannah’s face, as if to say, “See? Told you!” But Peter seemed to be confused again. “Wait, why are you so upset about what I told you?”

When he looked at her, she returned to staring down at her legs. “Because I know you didn’t want anyone to know, especially me--”

“That’s not--it’s not that I didn’t want anyone to know, or--I just--I’m still processing....and I didn’t--I don’t know how to….” His words were so disrupted, as if he walked back what he said and moved forward at the same time.

Cat continued, “Exactly, and I’m the last person on the planet that you would have said any of that to if you were sober, so--”

“That’s not….” He sighed. “It’s not a secret, it’s not some--I mean, I guess it is a scandal--but it’s not that I didn’t want anyone to know, and it’s not that I wouldn’t have ever told you--or anyone.” Peter blinked. One of his hands swept some of his hair away from his forehead, pushing it back into its very specific place. Cat let his words pass over her, though. He didn’t mean that, he was just trying to make everything lighter. “I did not think that’s what I did….” She was about to ask what he thought he did, but he continued. “Okay--fine. Here.” He finally turned to the rest of the table, lips pursed, eyes directly in front of him.

“I guess this started--this started last year.” He spoke quickly, like he was ripping off a band-aid. “My little brother got a scholarship for soccer, and got accepted into this exclusive academy in the UK. There was this journal that did a small expose on him, and they interviewed everyone in the family to say how proud we were and all of that. They took photos of everyone together, all the pomp and circumstance. It came out in...September or something.

“Obviously, from that, with his name being published and everything, we got lots of...mail, messages, about it, sponsorships. But then I got a letter from someone....said he saw our photo in the journal, and that when he saw my picture that he knew we were related. He said he was an estranged relative, wanted to reconnect with ‘the family.’” Peter gestured broadly. “After he sent a picture of himself, I--could see the similarities, and--and he--” He let out a breath. “H-his name is…. His name was Peter Finley.” Despite his attempt to keep his face controlled and calm, his dimples revealed a heavy frown. “And he said I was named after him before he and my mom had a falling out.

“So I met with him, but kept it all a secret. When I asked my mom about my name, she got weirdly defensive, so I just--didn’t tell anyone. Then earlier this year, I caught him--Peter--in a lie, so I--this is going to sound weird.” Peter took a small break to breathe for a bit, furrowing his brows to find the right words. “I, um, hired a private investigator to look into him, and lo and behold, a couple months later, turns out he’s my biological dad.” The dimples returned for a flash of a moment when he gave a fake smile, but his grimace kept them around. “I confronted him about it--yeah. He claimed he wanted it kept secret so that I would get my trust fund when I turned 25. I thought he was--I thought he was trying to scam me into giving him a cut.

“We fought, and apparently--” Peter stopped again; he shuffled his feet, clenched and unclenched his fist on his leg. “Apparently that night, he….” Though he tried again, Peter shut his eyes tightly. Cat’s heart hammered in her chest as she watched him clench his teeth, the way his brows knitted together in that familiar agony she saw last week.

Somehow, she couldn’t really figure out when it happened, but her hand had made its way onto Peter’s fist, gentle, her thumb rubbing his back and forth. His hands were still so warm, even after being outside. Cat didn’t even realize it was there until he loosened his fist and opened his fingers, enough to accept hers into his palm. She stopped breathing altogether, now. He found his strength, collected himself while he squeezed her hand and continued, “H-he dedicated his suicide note to my mom and jumped off a bridge. And so my dad--” He shook his head-- “my mom’s husband, Joe, found out. So he kicked me out, threatened to divorce my mom--and as of...November 2nd, I was disowned by both of them.” His voice ended softer than it began; by the time he finished speaking, his grip loosened, and Cat suddenly became very aware of every nerve in her body, where they were, what was going on.

She sucked in a breath, blinking in the rest of the scene. All their friends stared at their own laps, at the table, at their hands on the table. No one noticed. Cat immediately snatched away her hand to sit on it, hoping that maybe if she actually forced herself to be stoic and controlled like Peter, she maybe could be. But the minute she took her hand away from his, her body shrank on itself, the sinking feeling dragging her through her chair.

She could feel his eyes on her, watching carefully as he asked, “Is that what I told you?” Cat shut her eyes tightly, but gave the tiniest nod.

“More or less,” she squeaked out. Maybe if she was better at pretending, she wouldn’t have freaked out in front of him at Jittery Joe’s. Maybe he wouldn’t have had to live through all this again.

“I’m such an asshole,” Hannah muttered from across the table. She didn’t look at anyone, but her eyes were wide, guilty and sad. “I’m so sorry….”

“Sorry?” Peter echoed. “No.” He sat up with a sudden breath, stealing everyone’s attention as he addressed them. “This--this isn’t a secret. I just didn’t know how to bring it up.”

“You think you’re an asshole?” Cam asked, nearly ignoring what Peter said. “I was there when he said this. I literally slept through it. Jesus!” Now he covered his face with a hand; Peter’s continuous protests went ignored.

“And Cat!” Kelsey interrupted. Cat flinched, but looked at her, dreading. “Are you Fort Knox? Holy shit!”

“That--this--wow.” Hannah shook her head. “This--I’m so sorry you’re going through this, Peter….” The table’s reactions simmered a little, melting into a melancholy silence.

“Is there--anything else?” Kelsey blurted. “That you want to talk about, I mean?” Peter shrugged.

“I guess for context it’s important to know that my little brother, Oscar, is seventeen this year, and back from the UK. I’m not allowed to see him, though, because--” He let out a dry laugh, “Joe put a restraining order against me. Oh--and I have an older brother that I don’t get along with that lives across the country. Not much of a loss there.”

“The dreaded middle child,” Cam said with dramatization. It was enough to get Peter to smile a little. “Did you go by Peter before…? Or did you go by Jerard?” This time, he got the silent “J” right. Peter shook his head.

“I used to go by JP. But...after...yeah. Jerard is my dad’s--or I guess my mom’s husband’s Spanish name, so I’d go by JP to prevent any mix-up. But, yeah. Going by ‘Peter’ is...new-ish...since he died.”

Hannah stood from her chair suddenly, the ugly screech turning heads as she said, “I demand a group hug. Now.” Ugh. Why did anyone ever participate in those? Cat rolled her eyes as Kelsey and Cam stood from their seats. “Come on, everyone up. Everyone.” Peter reluctantly got out of his seat, but it took until Hannah’s voice lowered before Cat followed suit.

“Do I have to--” Before Cat could complain, Kelsey barreled toward her, arms open, and shoved her right into Peter with an oomph. Her shoulder crashed into his arm, and before she could even shout in pain, Cam appeared and squeezed himself right in front of Peter and wrapped his arm around Kelsey’s back. Hannah attacked from somewhere behind Peter, but now Cat was sandwiched awkwardly between Kelsey and Peter, her arms squished in front of her and one of her legs still trapped by a leg of one of the chairs.

“Group huuuug!” Cameron announced, muffled. But it wasn’t so much of a group hug, as it was Cat and Peter being squished together while Hannah, Kelsey, and Cam bound them like a boa constrictor. That was sort of how group hugs went, though. The idea and intention was really sweet, but physically, just not worth the elbows in faces or faces in faces or--really, if faces weren’t involved with group hugs, Cat might be more open to them.

This one wasn’t that bad, for that. But her head was shoved into Peter’s chest, and one of his peacoat buttons was right by her eye, as if threatening to stab it out. If she tried to turn, Kelsey’s nose would poke out her other eye, so she stayed still, like a deer in headlights while her friends started to spew words of support to Peter, everything from “you’ll be okay” to “we’re your family now, fuck them.” Peter laughed; Cat could watch his Adam’s apple bob, being this close. She could smell his laundry detergent, undertoned by his natural musk--and, of course, the slightest bit of chlorine. She’d smelled this scent before...but she couldn’t put her finger on where. Maybe he wore a cologne that she’d sampled at the mall, or showered with body wash she’d smelled before. It suited him, whatever it was; light, hardly detectable. Oddly comforting.

“Okay, I can’t breathe,” Peter said through strain. “Cat’s elbow is in my diaphragm--!”

“Sorry….” But as she apologized, their friends released them, smiling, patting Peter on the shoulder, stepping back to give them room to move.

“Thanks,” Peter said when they all finally had a suitable amount of space between them. “I don’t know why I didn’t say anything sooner. I actually...kind of feel better.” Oh? Well, that was nice. As the group slowly spread away from the table, all standing in a circle, Cat shyly looked around their friends, waiting for someone to dismiss her from this intervention.

“Do you wanna go out?” Kelsey asked suddenly, gesturing to the group. “Maybe get some drinks? First round on me.”

“Oooh!” Hannah agreed, pulling out her phone, “Let me call an Uber.”

“I don’t want to go quite as hard as I did last week,” Peter said weakly. Cam agreed with a chuckle.

“Just a couple. Maybe karaoke,” Kelsey said, waving a hand. Cat wanted to laugh, but she just pursed her lips.

“Sorry, I’ve got to get to bed. You know...work...but take a shot for me.”

Hannah, tapping her phone with frustration, sighed. “I’ve got no service in here. I’ll have to go outside. Cat, we’ll make sure to plan the next outing for like a Thursday night, okay?” After a quick wave, Hannah started her way to go outside, and Cam waved goodbye to follow.

“Yeah, next time,” Kelsey agreed. “Maybe next week. We can do a Friendsgiving thing or something.” And with that, she started her way to the door, too.

Cat was about to step away, to go back to her dorm to just eat a granola bar and go to bed, but Peter hesitated. His bated breath froze her in place, but when she looked up at him, he seemed to struggle forming what he wanted to say.

“I, um….” He glanced over his shoulder to their friends, who hadn’t noticed he wasn’t with them yet. “Just wanted to say thanks--for keeping it all to yourself.” Peter’s eyes took their time finally meeting hers. She shrugged and fought the urge to look away; for whatever reason, no matter how soft his expression, it always felt too heavy. He studied her face quickly as his words finally found their way out of his lips. “You weren’t my first choice of people to tell, no--but...now that I know...how...you….” As she found it easier to watch him, he seemed to find it more difficult to keep looking at her.

“How I can actually keep a secret when I’m asked to?” she finished for him with a raised brow. Peter shrugged.

“Well--” He glanced over his shoulder for a moment to see Cam standing by the door, hand on the handle, watching them. Cat’s heart skipped a beat. “If I ever need to tell someone something, and for them to keep it a secret, I think I’d opt to tell you first. You’re...reliable.” She had no idea why, but for whatever reason, it made her cheeks burn to hear him say that.

“So next time you get disowned for being a bastard, I’ll be the first to know--when you’re sober?” She wasn’t sure if he would, but Peter actually let out a laugh at that.

“Sure. Next time.” He finally took a step back to start his departure, but Cat was the one to hesitate now.

“Peter,” she called before he could turn away fully. “What did you think you did that was so bad?” When she asked this, he seemed to slow down; he looked at her, but his gaze rested on her lips, watching her form the words.

“I, uh--” It took a while, but his eyes finally looked up to hers; Cat held her breath. He gave a small shrug, a sheepish smile, and just said, “It doesn’t matter. This worked out alright.”