《Murder Eternal: Fate Unknown (Book Two)》Chapter 8: Meraine: The Cost of Fitting in
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So there Meraine was in yet another new school. Everything seemed like it would be O.K. She went to her classes and learned a few things she didn’t already know. Being a high achiever, Meraine’s grades had always soared. Her ability to read minds, shielded or not, gave her an edge. She could’ve misused it. She could’ve gotten straight A’s by cheating on every test, but she didn’t. She’d grown a certain affinity for the truth and this branched into all things. So she just couldn’t cope with cheating.
Though she did learn many things no one else could. She always knew when someone was lying. She was forever privy to the latest gossip, so in a way it seemed she actually could see the future. Since foresight allowed for change, none could prove her wrong. She used that to help her fit in. Though this practice was inherently deceitful, she had her father’s approval. She just wished she had her own. She hated doing that, but didn’t see any other way to feel normal.
There were a small number of seedborn kids in this school. They’d all formed a clique, assuming they were better than everyone else. Meraine was invited to join. It was the first time anyone her age offered acceptance or made her feel special in a good way. She took it. After all, she was 13 at the time . . . an adult by all modern standards. Out of necessity, humatran children matured much faster than that of their human counterpart.
Some didn’t understand why an adult still had to attend school. So they didn’t. They skipped; played hooky. The world outside was incredibly dangerous. Safety was an issue, but they said they “saw” that everything was going to be O.K., but their foresight was untrained. They were lying just so they could have a good time.
Meraine didn’t want to join them. She knew they were lying, but couldn’t prove otherwise without foresight. Sure, she could lie and say she saw death coming, but then she’d be lying too. Not only that but she’d be cast out from the cool crowd. Once she’d finally fit in, falling out seemed like a fate worse than death. So she went along with it all.
They wanted to go hover boarding in a nearby ruin from the Atra war. Of course, no one knew anything for sure, but a feeling of danger seeped in. Early on, Meraine learned this “sixth sense” stood as the only ability all humatrans had, seedborn or not. It was supposed to warn of impending danger. It was supposed to keep one safe. It didn’t work so well when ignored.
Meraine wanted to stop and turn around, but chose not to give her fear a voice. She was still too afraid of being cast out. After all, a sixth sense was never anything specific. It could be something as mundane as tripping and falling. People had them all the time for small things. Even so, the intensity of this one weighed down on all of them. Still it was ignored. They said over and over again, if only to reassure themselves, that they’d foreseen no problems. Even if they weren’t lying to themselves, foresights change. Foresights can be wrong or misinterpreted. The sixth sense never was. This was quickly becoming a very bad idea and they all knew it, but kept going.
Then one guy said, “Fuck it! So there’s gonna be danger! But what’s life without it? Huh? I’m gonna live in the moment! I’m gonna live life the way it was meant to be lived . . . on the fucking edge! Who’s with me?”
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His name was Rick and some were actually with him. Some weren’t. It didn’t matter. Unfortunately, for everyone else, Rick was also the driver. They’d reach the ruins, but at what cost? Danger didn’t always mean death. Meraine kept chanting that to herself over and over. She knew it wouldn’t actually change anything. Death was coming. She could feel it. Her sixth sense was screaming.
Then they pulled up to what should’ve been an abandoned ruin just like all the rest. This one was crowded by comparison. Then Meraine knew as if she’d just been slapped in the face, that these other people had accurate foresights. They knew they’d be there at that very moment and were going to act on their good fortune.
It was all so terrifying. She didn’t know if it was more or less so the moment she read her own father’s thoughts, because he was there too. He was there among about five other parents who were practically pissing fury and rage, but remarkably not at them. No. For them all they had was fear and she could taste it. It tasted sweet. She knew her own tasted far more juicy if only for her youth. She knew the second she started reading more malevolent thoughts this wasn’t an exclusive party. Others were here, with an undisguised intent to murder. Once their fragile minds were unshielded all the 13 year old “adults” in the vehicle were able to read enough of the same thoughts, justifying the fear their sixth sense was trying to warn them of.
Neither of Rick’s parents were present. That meant he didn’t give a damn about anything else. Without a word he stopped and backed up. He didn’t right the van. Something told him he wouldn’t have time for that. That something was right. The foresight the would-be murderers saw included the escape attempt. They were ready for it.
There were already vehicles blocking Rick’s exit. It didn’t help that Meraine and a few others were screaming for him to go back and save their parents. He was well past caring about anything but his own skin. Meraine knew it. Hell, if they’d bothered to try they’d all know it. Rick wasn’t blocking anything. If Meraine or any other “friend” was standing out there Rick wouldn’t have picked them up. He wasn’t saving all his friends. No. He was saving himself. His friends just happened to be along for the ride.
He wasn’t thinking about any death but his own. Even so he should’ve been a damned sight more careful. The vehicles blocking their path had left an opening. They weren’t simply being nice. They were guiding the stupid teens. Rick didn’t care. He took it. Even though Meraine suddenly knew better and screamed for him to stop. Just as all the other screams, Rick was beyond listening.
A few seconds later he backed over the dog the murderers had tied up and left on the road. It wasn’t luck that the tire split the dog in half. It was planned. All Rick felt was a bump in the road. He thought nothing of it. All that changed when the youthing process began.
It was the whole plan. Fuck up the driver. Take the van. Kill the kids. It was working beautifully . . . all except for the anomaly. Meraine wasn’t sitting shotgun, but neither was she sitting in the back. She’d already taken the wheel. As she did so she screamed at Lori, who was sitting shotgun to slam on the gas that Rick no longer cared about. Lori didn’t do it. Her mother was out there, but she was simply too scared to act. So she turned to Rick and screamed, “Hit the god damned gas!” If he understood nothing else through the pains he understood the need to get away, so he did it.
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It wasn’t as if Meraine hated her father or wanted him to die, but she knew without foresight that this wasn’t about them. They were too old. They couldn’t give the youth the murderers craved. No. All they had to offer was DOE. Even if that wasn’t true, they couldn’t help anyone if they were dead. So she acted. That was all well and good but it wasn’t working.
It was next to impossible to follow the road leaning over to drive full speed backwards. So they swerved not into a tree but more ruins. It must’ve been the base of an old skyscraper with the top portion melted away. Not that it mattered. They hit it and it didn’t budge. Instead they did.
Everyone was flung backwards. Especially Meraine. No one was strapped in, but she was the only one not actually sitting. She hit a few seats on the way back and then slammed into the back doors which had already caved in from the impact. She fell to the floorboard unconscious.
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Meraine woke up in a hospital bed. She felt pain, all manner of drugs notwithstanding. The nurse had to put her back out. The next time she woke she was alone. The pain was still there but now more of a throb, but one that rippled up her spine. She had to get a grip on what happened and the best way to do that was to start invading people’s minds.
She heard too much of nothing. This was a hospital. People were everywhere doing everything all at once. Most had nothing to do with her, but there was one that did and it came from another patient. It was someone she knew. It was Lori. She was saying, but more likely thinking, cryptic things.
“I’m so sorry. I had to do it. I had no choice. I’m so god damned sorry.”
Meraine wondered who she was talking or thinking to. There was no response. She just kept going, repeating unguarded for all the world to hear just exactly how sorry she really was for doing whatever it was she did. She was punishing herself. Then someone else’s thought interrupted, but it was more likely an actual scream. This one was similar but even less controlled and interrupted by constant crying. She could only make out a few things.
“Wha . . . No . . . He . . . He can’t be . . . Little Ricky . . . No . . . Fuck you! Get . . . Get your hands off me! I’m . . . I’m going to fucking kill her!!! HE CAN’T BE DEAD!!!”
It went on like that. She was being restrained. Meraine heard other things after that. People were talking who seemed to know what that was all about. After a while she was able to glean at least part of the truth. Aside from the obvious . . . Rick was dead. Unsurprisingly, she didn’t miss him. He was a trouble maker and usually made sure he wasn’t alone once caught. Apparently it paid to have a fall guy, but not anymore.
The woman was his mother, who like her husband, was a normal humatran. They had no abilities. It explained why they hadn’t seen any visions, which explained why neither of them were present at the ruins. They were here now visiting Tamara, his sister, who was also in the van and injured. In a rare, painless, lucid thought, Meraine marveled at the births. Both Ricky and Tamara were born twins. Both were seedborn and both were somewhat advanced. The miracle, which led to the anger, was that their mother was still alive. She had twins and survived, while Meraine’s mother had only her and died. It just wasn’t fucking fair! These thoughts seemed to multiply her pain so she tried to keep them in check.
Apparently, after Meraine was knocked unconscious, Lori reached across Rick and opened his door. Then without another thought she put her back to her own door and used both feet to literally force Rick out of the van. It wasn’t much of a struggle. She seemed to know just where to push. She seemed to know just which parts of his pain wracked body hurt the worst and then kicked. Soon he let go even of the steering wheel and fell out of the van. He struggled to get back in, but Lori had already hopped over to the driver’s seat and slammed the door, intentionally or not on his outstretched hand. It was in an effort to make him let go, which he did.
Tamara’s thoughts were obsessed with the act and in detail. According to her, Lori hadn’t even looked down at Rick’s screams or even when she’d slammed his hand. It’s like she knew. It’s like she had a vision of how things would be, but none of them knew. As tough as they all acted, not one of them was anywhere near practiced enough to plan like that or be anywhere near that heartless. Right? Tamara’s thoughts really weren’t all that rational. Rage overwhelmed her, completely unable to recognize that Lori’s actions saved everyone else.
After that Lori simply righted the van and drove away. There wasn’t much of a chase if any. Meraine couldn’t help but wonder, if Lori was so heartless, why was she so tormented? If she had such a powerful foresight why didn’t she just talk Rick out of playing hooky before it all began? Why didn’t she read these thoughts if everything was so damned planned? Every thought she had from Lori in the van was engrossed in a damn crossword book. Rick and others bugged her about it, but nothing fazed her from the puzzle. All her concentration was on it as if it was the most important thing in the world. At the time Meraine simply thought she’d opposed the outing just as much as herself and ignoring everyone was her own personal form of revenge.
Then another question arose. Why didn’t Lori just do as she demanded? Why didn’t she just jam her foot on the accelerator? Wouldn’t that have saved everyone? There were too many damn questions. She had enough to deal with already. She didn’t need this god damned mystery. She didn’t need this fucking drama. She certainly didn’t need whatever was going on with her back. Though that wasn’t all. She was bruised up in many other places. She didn’t remember much, but figured she’d been tossed around like a rag doll.
Try as she might Meraine couldn’t glean a single thought about her father. She wanted to believe as she had before, that they were of no concern. That it was only the kids the murderers wanted. She wanted to believe he’d already come to visit her and was now just letting her rest. Of course, he wasn’t in the hospital. He’d probably stayed all night and needed to go home to rest or gather some of her belongings . . . necessities like toothbrush and toothpaste. That had to be it. But she had a sinking feeling that wasn’t it at all. Thought she’d heard nothing, her sixth sense was tingling at the impending bad news.
What did that mean? She was literally surrounded by bad news. Her sixth sense could be referring to anyone of them, including herself with her back obviously fucked up like it was. She had a feeling it wasn’t referring to any of that. A part of her already knew her father was dead, but she wouldn’t believe such a thing without proof. It hurt too much even to consider.
Then a nurse came in. Surprised she was awake, she turned tail out the door to tell the doctor. She didn’t need to read her thoughts. That’s exactly what she said she was going to do. Meraine figured that would take a while. In her experience doctors weren’t all that prompt. So she settled in for the wait. She was grateful for the distraction from foreboding thoughts about her father, but now she was engulfed in silence once again. But not so much. Hospitals were full of noise, but that was all ambience. If she could sort through the thoughts which normally bombarded her, then hospital sounds wouldn’t be any problem. But that was the problem. She wanted them to distract her and they weren’t. So she kept her mind searching for thoughts pertinent to the tragedy that put her here.
Lori was still beating herself up over the event, but she’d been given something to help her sleep and it would soon overtake her. She needed it. Not that Meraine could know, but she had the distinct feeling her father was there too. But no! She couldn’t let herself think like that. Not damned yet! Fuck the damned sixth sense! She refused to give up hope. So she turned her attention back to Tamara. She was still enraged at Lori, but even more so from the confusion. She wasn’t sure about much of anything.
She was injured. She was delirious. She blamed that on, of all people, Meraine! What the fuck did she do? But she found out soon enough. She had indeed become a rag doll. She was flailing as she was thrust backwards. It’s where all her bruises came from. But not everything she hit was part of the van. No. Some of it was flesh and blood. Meraine had apparently, unknowingly tore off a sizeable chunk of Tamara’s face. She was reaching for any kind of handhold and her fingers dug into her cheekbone and tore her skin backwards. It was a ghastly thing she’d done, but accidental. She lifted her hands to her face and saw that though cleaned, there was still blood under the fingernails on her right hand. She hadn’t noticed that before, but if she had she would’ve thought it was her own blood.
A certain amount of guilt arose from the knowledge of what she’d done. It could be fixed and apparently had with stitches, but there would always be a nasty scar. There was also significant blood loss, not to mention pain. Tamara would be disfigured and probably for life. Not that modern technology couldn’t fix such things, but who had the money for it? She didn’t know much about Rick and Tamara’s family, but she knew they weren’t rich. The birth had been allowed over the guarded Atra seed not with money, but in payment of a debt. Years ago, the twins father had saved the life of the man who oversaw the seed. It was common knowledge.
The other two students in the van, Terrence and Julian, must not have been in the hospital or they’d been released. She hoped they were alright. As much as that was true she wished they were here, if only to visit. Not that she was terribly fond of either one, but they would serve as a continued distraction. Not to mention she could learn more about what actually happened, instead of the lies she’d surely be fed.
Meraine longed for visions. They’d tell her if her father was alive or not. They’d tell her if she’d be alright herself. They might be able to tell her what exactly was going on with Lori. She wanted to know at least that much. She liked Lori. She was cool and contained. Not like the others. More like Meraine herself. She wanted a friendship with her and she supposed she had one, but friendships never lasted long with her so she was taking things slow. She was also doing everything she could to hide her secret. Everything always fell apart once that was brought to light.
But now she just didn’t know if Lori was a friend worth having. What with her killing Rick and all. Of course she hadn’t really. Meraine doubted the dog could’ve made Rick DOE, but she’d left him for the wolves. It was to save everyone else, but did that make it O.K.? She just didn’t know. This world was full of murder and death, but didn’t that make it all the more important to protect ones friends? What kind of friend was Rick? He was looking out for himself and himself alone. Maybe no one else knew that, but she did. Did Rick even qualify to be called anyone’s friend? She didn’t know. All Meraine knew for sure was that he was no friend of hers.
Even so, Lori seemed genuinely remorseful for what she’d done. Honestly though, who was she crying for? Meraine had been listening to her thoughts for some time now and never once did she mention Rick’s name. If Tamara’s thoughts were any indication, Lori knew exactly what she was doing as if she’d experienced a very powerful forethought. If true, that was very strange. No one so young has powerful, clear visions. She’d been told the well trained mind of a seedborn humatran receives their first strong foresight between the ages of AA20 and AA25. From then on they come more often and more powerful. Everything before that was weak and generally unclear. These were more like hints of things to come and rarely useful. Not that she could know, but it seemed common knowledge.
She’d also been told the same went for telepathy, only strong, clear reads started between the ages of AA15 and AA20, roughly. Hers were powerful from AA5. She knew why, though. It was compensation for her lack of foresight. It was nice to have the answer to at least one of her important questions.
So then wasn’t it impossible for Lori to have had such a vivid foresight? Of course, everyone in her clique claimed to be experiencing exactly that, but they were all lying. Most of them didn’t even bother to train their minds past what was required in class. Every school had a special class for building the mental state of ability laden seedborn humatrans. Like Rick, most didn’t bother too much. So they wouldn’t receive their first strong foresight until they were about AA30 or so, if they lived that long. These abilities helped keep kids alive. Normal humatrans were always more vulnerable, even with their sixth sense, which was often ignored or thought to be an unimportant false alarm. She’d already experienced a prime example of that.
Anyway, Meraine always assumed Lori was lying too. Was she telling the truth? She never trained very hard, but then neither had Meraine. She figured she didn’t really need to. Her telepathy was already very powerful and there wasn’t any hope to learning how to see the future. Either you had it or you didn’t. That was the lot normal humatrans suffered from every day. She could relate.
Sometimes there were miracles. No one seemed to know why, but sometimes a normal humatran would suddenly gain abilities. It was the hope of everyone who wasn’t enhanced. Sometimes it even happened to adults. Meraine herself hoped for that, but without knowing why, everything hinged on luck and hers was always bad.
Lori was a mystery and Meraine always needed answers. From that moment on she dedicated herself to finding out just exactly what Lori’s secret was. She wasn’t entirely sure she would’ve done that normally. Fuck that. Of course she would. Helping her forget about her father’s fate was merely a fringe benefit.
The doctor came in. Meraine turned to look and regretted it as her spine protested. All her detective work had gotten her mind off more than just the future. Then the light came on and straining wasn’t quite so necessary anymore. At first Meraine thought she was a nurse. It was liberating somehow to find out the doctor was a woman. But it was small comfort. The gender of her local health care worker was the least of her concerns at the moment.
She spoke in an unnaturally cheery tone as if everything were fine. As if everything that just happened to her patient was normal. Meraine supposed, maybe for her it was, but if that were true, why was she smiling? Did she have some sort of disease?
“Hey there, my name is Doctor McPhereson, but you can call me Sarah, if it’s easier. It is for most people. I’ve been looking after you since your little accident. You are, um . . . How do you pronounce your name? I don’t think its Mary Anne. Right?”
Meraine moved to speak, but found that her throat was dry as if she had chalk down her throat. Something raspy came out that started with an M. To her credit Dr. McPhereson, Sarah, was patient enough not to interrupt. Meraine tried again. It was a little easier this time, but still not quite right. The third time wasn’t the charm. It was still raspy, but audible enough to understand.
Just to make sure, Sarah said, “So . . . Mer Rain. Right?”
“Y . . . Yeah. Wh . . . Why?” Meraine said nothing else but pointed at her throat.
“Yes. Sorry about that. I really wasn’t sure how to say your name. But it was important that I got you to try and speak. For the most part it’s just the medicine. I know it sucks. It’s all chalky. But it really does help. I know you’re aware that you’re back hurts. Right?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, you’ve hurt more than just that. From what I’ve been told, you’re head slammed into the back door right along with the rest of you. Don’t worry. You’re going to be fine. I’ve looked at your chart and know that you’re seedborn. That’s great. I wish I was, but we all can’t be that lucky. Anyway, I’ve found that most seedborn patients with head injuries immediately worry that they’ll lose their abilities. Don’t worry. You haven’t, but if you’ve been practicing you already know that. But we did find something strange. We’ve done a CAT scan on you. And x-rays. Other tests too. Well, no one is quite sure what makes abilities work. Sure, everyone knows they come from being born over Atra seeds, but no one knows why exactly. We still don’t, but you’re brain doesn’t look like the other ability laden humatrans I’ve seen. It’s hard to tell really, but your brain is, how do I put it . . . working overtime.”
Meraine gave a quizzical look. Though she pretty much knew what was going on she didn’t want to let on. Nothing good ever came from doing that.
“I know. You’re worried now. But don’t be. You’re fine. Well, you will be. You’ve probably already guessed that your back is broken. You’ve shattered some vertebrae. We can fix that. It’s a pretty normal procedure. Of course, you’ll have to go into surgery first. More than one I’m sorry to say. The first is rather urgent and is scheduled for an hour from now. I put it up on the board as soon as I knew you were awake. You see, you’ve now got about 25 to 30 bone fragments of varying sizes just floating around in there. They move when you move. They dig into your muscle tissue and cause you immense pain. You’re on a pretty high dose of pain killer right now, but you still feel pain when you move. Right?”
Meraine was tired of trying to talk and despite what Sarah was saying she was getting worried. All she could do was nod with a somber look.
“Don’t worry. We can make you good as new or near enough to it. But first we’ve got to find all the little pieces and remove them. It’ll take some time and we’ll have to put you out during the surgery, but believe me you don’t want to be awake for it. After that we’ve got to replace the missing vertebrae with cal-citrate implants. Your body will think they’re the real thing. But it will take you awhile to heal. We’d like you to stay here for another two weeks at least. A month is preferable. From then on you’ll have to take things very easy while you heal up. It could take up to six months for you to be as good as you were. I know that’s a long time. I know the dangers your age group faces every day. To be laid up for that long a time is extremely dangerous. Well, we here don’t want anything bad to happen to you. We have security measures available for you. I’ll give you a pamphlet to look over if you like. Would you like that?”
All Meraine did was nod her head again.
“Now for the part everyone hates. Paperwork.” Sarah gave a disgusted look as if she’d just eaten a lemon whole. It made Meraine smile. It was nice. She didn’t think anything or anyone could still make her do that. “We’ve got to get some consent forms signed. Feel free to look it over.” She handed the indescribably boring legal documents to her carefully. “Now we know from your record that you’ve got a father, a Gary Talbotte, who looks after you. We’ve tried to call him, but there’s no answer. We need him to sign these forms so we can get things moving. Don’t worry about the upcoming surgery. I can reschedule it if you need more time to get him down here, but it’s best to get this thing done. The longer you wait the worse things get. Do you have some means of reaching your father that we aren’t aware of?”
Meraine said nothing. She knew her father was dead. The mother fucking sixth sense was never wrong. If he was alive, there wasn’t anything in heaven or hell that could keep him away from her side. Tears began to form, uncontrollable tears, but still she said nothing.
“What’s wrong Meraine? I promise you, this is a basic procedure. We just need your father down here to sign. You will be alright.”
Then it came out in a dry croak. “B . . . But he . . . he won’t.”
“Who? You’re father? Have you had a foresight? Do you know where he is? From the accident we’ve had some reports of missing parents, but I didn’t want to assume your father was one of them. It’s best to think positive. Do you know what happened out there? What can you see?”
Then it came out more in a painful, scraping scream. “Nnnnothhhing!!!” Then she gave a sudden yell from the pain.
“It’s O.K. It’s O.K. Everything will be O.K. It’s not an easy thing for people your age to get visions. Let me contact the police and have them send someone out to your apartment. Maybe he’s there. Maybe he just hasn’t heard yet. O.K.?”
“Nnnot Thhhere! OOOooaaAAA!! Fuck!”
“O.K. I need you to calm down. So where would he be?”
Then Meraine said one last word before everything went black. “Rrrrottting!”
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Bunkercore
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