《Mecha Dragons of Mars》Chapter 29: The Boom-Boom Bloom
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It was an extremely odd sight to witness as Boom-Boom slammed into the Uranusian. The figure had done nothing to prevent the collision, though once impact was made it again froze its magenetic pull. I watched in horror, however, as Boom-Boom, my beloved feline companion for fifteen years, seemed to instantly melt into the tentacles and myriad of green eyes that were the figure.
"Boom-Boom!" I cried out to no avail. She was already gone from sight.
"You're right," Cleetus said monotone beside me as he shook his head, "that was a stupid idea. Doesn't seem to have done much."
"You fucking monster..." I raised my hand to slap Cleetus across his cat-chucking face when suddenly, from below, we heard an unearthly moan.
It was the Uranusian. It was glowing and shaking uncontrollably.
"What is going on?" Asked Cleetus. How could I answer? As with the Martians, this was my first time encountering a creature from Uranus. We had no idea of anything about the race, let alone what the Uranusian was doing on Mars or how it became stranded for so long. But based on what we were observing, a cat making contact with it apparently set off some kind of reaction.
The Uranusian began to expand, almost like a hot air balloon being inflated. Then, from somewhere unseen, I heard Boom-Boom's voice: "Provider...help meeee..."
"Boom-Boom!" I exclaimed, but really only could do that. We were still quite high up on the mecha dragon, plus the physical reaction the Uranusian was having made me very hesitant to get too close.
Suddenly, the Uranusian exploded, shattering what once was one mass of eyes and tentacles into many smaller piles of eyes and tentacles. Though there was no blood or even body fluids of any kind, it was gruesome to behold, especially knowing my cat had been inside.
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But before I could speak or even dramatically scream Boom-Boom's name again, I saw something was happening with the various bits of the creature. They each appeared to be taking on a shape not unlike that of a cat, though at the same time, not quite right either- tentacles dangled randomly from the bodies and green eyes were in places they did not normally belong. The cat shapes were also larger and lankier than at least Boom-Boom had been; yet, in other ways, they truly did resemble my cat...
Then, at once, the different cat shapes seemed to observe us in the air.
"PROVIDER," they called in harmony, "LOOK AT ME NOW."
It was unnerving and very difficult for me to look at the Boom-Boom bloom, if only because I didn't know WHICH one to look at directly when they all spoke at once.
"Jesus Christ," uttered an equally disturbed Cleetus, "what the hell have we created?"
"PROVIDER, PET ME," the mutant cats cooed, "WE NEED COMFORTING."
"You need more than that," retorted Cleetus, "you need to not exist."
"Boom-Boom," I said hesitantly, "you apparently have fused with the Uraniusian...can you tell anything about it? What was it doing here?"
The cats (if one could call them cats) were quiet a moment. "I...I FEEL ITS MEMORIES. IT IS BOUND TO STAY ON SNOW OR COLD SURFACES. THAT IS WHY IT WAS TRAPPED HERE SO LONG AND WAITING ON A RESCUE."
"Makes sense," I replied, trying to stay calm, "are you...all...now bound by that same requirement?"
A few of the creatures tried to step off of the snowbank, only to start screaming and quickly draw back.
"YES," they all then said in unison.
"Well, that sucks," remarked Cleetus.
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"Is there anything useful you've gained from this unholy fusion?" I inquired, "Anything that might be useful in saving humanity from mecha dragons?"
The cats were silent a moment.
"WE NOW PEE SULFURIC ACID," a cat on the back volunteered. The others nodded in agreement.
I looked to Cleetus. "That's it!" I exclaimed, a tinge of hope to my tone. I was still sad to have lost Boom-Boom to this unusual bloom of creatures, but I was quickly recognizing it may have been a blessing in disguise.
Cleetus, however, just looked at me. "What?"
"Sulfuric acid- most metals find sulfuric acid highly corrosive! I bet that sulfuric acid has even more of an effect on mecha dragons than plain old water would!"
"Well, okay," Cleetus said slowly, "but...these things pee it. And they're bound to be on snow or cold surfaces. The dragons far away from here. How exactly does that help us?"
"Well," I tapped my head, " I assume if we could lure the other dragons here we could have the cats spray them with their acidic urine." I turned to look down at the horrible critters below. "Boom-Boom, you suppose you guys could start eating snow and really hold in your urine until I get back?"
The cats all clamored amongst themselves but with words of affirmation.
I smiled at Cleetus. "I tell you, this plan just might work."
"This is fucking gross though," he muttered, "alien hybrid cats pissing acid on mecha dragons to save humanity? Who'dve thought of that?"
I shrugged. "Some things are just meant to pee."
Cleetus groaned amd rolled his eyes at my lame pun.
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