It was the fifteenth anniversary of the destruction of Earth and I felt like shit. It’dve been kind of weird if I didn’t, seeing as it was my blunder that led to the majority of humanity blowing up. Of course, none of the remaining humans- now colonists of Mars- knew I was behind that terrible accident; so as people made heartfelt tributes to lost loved ones or reminisced in small groups with one another about favorite vacation places they never more would see, I sat alone in the corner of Martha Ann and Dan’s drinking watery beer to drown out years of guilt and secret shame.

Well, hold up, I suppose to say I was sitting alone wasn’t totally true. Seated at the same table as me was my ever steadfast bodyguard, Cleetus Wu. And he made no secret of his anger about the act, even these many years later. "I don't know how it could've happened," he said to me, staring out at the sea of sad survivors, "but if I ever find out who was responsible, I'll murder that cowardly dog with my bare hands. They blew up America when they blew up the world, and no one disrespects the stars and stripes like that on MY watch."

But he was bound by order to protect me until otherwise told by his commander. Well, just so happens his commander was on Earth and became dust like most of humanity. It was a bit selfish, but I knew that meant I at least had someone else around, albeit always on the job. Much as I had originally longed to be alone, after the accident it was nice to know Cleetus was there, watching my back from enemies who had no clue I was the man they sought. I’d like to think the years of his protecting me from essentially no one had made us sort-of friends, though obviously if he ever knew the truth he’d knock my teeth out. And there were no trained dentists on Mars at that time (not having yet had any sent from Earth when the planet blew up) so I kind of needed all the teeth I could keep.

The anniversary celebrations- if one wanted to call them that- were always held at Martha Ann’s and Dan’s. Martha Ann had continued on with her plans of running a bar, though it did take her some time to get over the grief of losing her husband. She hadn’t really spoken to me much since that first day on the rocket ship, and I didn’t really have much to say to her. I had tried to make myself scarce to most people once we landed on the red planet anyway. Meant less awkward conversation or eye contact or risk of my slipping up and confessing to what I had done. But I could hear the whispers about me among the residents of New Earth One, the few times I did venture out:

“He must’ve really taken the loss of Earth hard. That’s why he’s so secretive and isolated.”

“He was someone important there, they say. That’s what he has security here. Thanks goodness for that, or else he’d probably be all alone.”

“Who the fuck still wears skinny jeans?”

So anyway, I was at Martha Ann’s and Dan’s, drinking myself away, fifteenth anniversary, like I said. Cleetus was munching on stale potato chips that expired years ago. Most of the pre-package food from Earth had. But even moldy, it still reminded us all of Earth, and that was sort of the point of the celebration.

“You don’t want a beer?” I asked him.

“On duty,” he replied. “Gotta keep alert should someone try to harm you.”

“I don’t think anyone will. Everyone’s busy reminiscing. Plus, like I’ve told you, this is hardly beer like we used to know. It’s literary water with wheat flavoring. You’ll keep your senses.”

One thing Martha Ann hadn’t really perfected, despite her claims many years ago, was making beer. But even incorrectly made beer was better than drinking nothing on this dark day.

Cleetus shook his head. “Can’t risk it. On duty.”

So I continued to drink alone as we sat in more or less silence. Cleetus and I, neither one of us were particularly good at small talk. We’d figured that out early on in our relationship and didn’t waste time trying to talk more than either of us felt like. As I said, he felt kind of like my sort-of friend, though a real friend would’ve had a shitty beer or two with me.

Suddenly, Cleetus’s head turned up as his gaze focused ahead. “It looks like Martha Ann’s walking over here,” he remarked, a hint of surprise to his typically deadpan voice.

Hell, as I looked out I too was surprised. The years hadn’t been kind on Martha Ann, but she was still a sight to see as she approached our table. She had all but avoided me for so long; sure, we interacted when I ordered drinks throughout the years, but that was purely professional. No chitchat, and she had always stayed behind the counter and walked away once the transaction was complete. To see her physically approaching me now was confusing.

Without a word, she pulled up a chair and sat down at the table, Cleetus on one side of her, myself on another. Cleetus looked to me with concern- he probably assumed this was the long-awaited enemy he was to protect me from but I shook my head no.

“Cole,” Martha Ann spoke, and there was an intensity in her eyes, “How’s the beer?”

“It’s cold,” I replied, giving the most honest and diplomatic answer I could think of. I didn’t for an instant think she had decided to abruptly be social with me just to see my thoughts of her products. And I was right.

“Isn’t this so sad, fifteen years has already passed,” she kept the intense gaze, “fifteen years of heartache, suffering, unknowing why this had to happen.”

I nodded slowly but knew better than to look at her directly.

“You know, fifteen years gives someone a lot of time to reflect, and, you know, there’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time.”

I took a sip of my beer. It was near the bottom of the mug and it was thick with undermixed wheaty flavor.

“Do you remember when we met?” Martha Ann turned her head, clearly trying to get me to look at her. I didn’t. She kept trying. “I remember you telling me you had a very interesting background. What was it you did on Earth?”

“…I was an explosives expert,” I softly replied, the beer mug over my mouth. I knew exactly where this was going, and I had always feared this day would come. Fuck.

“Sorry, that was muffled, but I think you said ‘explosives expert’.” She glanced over at Cleetus. “You were there too, back in the day, weren’t you? Didn’t you hear him say that?”

At least Cleetus made eye contact with her, but he said nothing.

“And then you said something about fireworks? Wasn’t that right? It’s what I recall, anyway.”

Mary Ann was met with silence.

“Well, I recall it clearly. And then mere seconds later, what do we see but Earth explode? Weird, huh?”

“Yeah, weird.” My beer mug was empty now.

Martha Ann leaned in close, making it hard for me not to look her straight in the eyes. “You had something to do with Earth exploding, didn’t you?”

We stared at each other for a few moments.

“I’m confused,” I admitted, “was that a statement or a question? I don’t know if I’m supposed to answer or if you’re rhetorically stating your thoughts.”

Martha Ann let out a frustrated sigh. “Oh, sure, you can make light of this all you want. Our loss was your gain, wasn’t it? That’s why you got the nice house and the large property on Mars, isn’t it?”

“The house is actually shoddily built,” Cleetus suddenly cut in, “It’s more or less fallen into disrepair, other than half-heartedly repair efforts throughout the years. It really wasn’t much of a gain, if it was meant as one.”

“And the terraformed grass that covers most of my land is actually toxic,” I added, “killed the cow soon after we got here. Poor Bessie.”

Martha Ann just shook her head. “Oh, a dead cow. Boo hoo. My HUSBAND is dead. All these people, their FAMILY and FRIENDS are dead. Most of HUMANITY is dead. And it’s because of you, isn’t it?”

“See, that was more clearly a question,” I noted, “it had that upwards sound at the end.”

Martha Ann was clearly upset. Can’t blame her, it was the fifteenth anniversary of Earth’s demise and she was on the right track that I was the sad sack responsible for that. But now, directly confronted, I couldn’t admit it; the guilt was heavy, but my survival instincts, it seemed, were stronger. I was not yet ready to directly admit my wrongdoing.

“I know I’m right,” she repeated. “I’ve been thinking about it for years, mulling it over. It all makes sense.” She turned from her spot at the table, out towards the crowd of celebrants in the establishment.

“HEY EVERYONE,” Martha Ann yelled loudly, attracting the attention of all present, “COLE RAPP HAS SOMETHING HE WANTS TO SHARE WITH US ALL.”

Yeah, no, I didn’t. I didn’t move.

“Come on, Cole,” she egged me on, the anger in her tone ever present. “Tell them and me, right now- DID YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH EARTH EXPLODING?”

A hush fell over the crowd.

I set my beer mug down on the table and rose to my feet.

…and promptly walked in to the men’s room, locking the door behind me.

“YOU CAN’T HIDE IN THERE, YOU COWARD!” Martha Ann yelled through the door, banging on it with her fists. I could hear the murmurs of the crowd, but nothing too discernable other than uncertainty. I had no intention of going back out there, not with the set-up I had been put into. The bathroom had a window just big enough for me to open and slip out of, which I did as I started the walk back to my home, conveniently located next door.

Yeah, I know, it wasn’t much of a solution or really an escape plan, living next door to my accuser’s venue. And of course, Martha Ann was right, it was me who had blown up Earth. But I had never truly been confronted about my actions before then, plus I had just had three mugs of poorly mixed beer; I was not thinking in the most logical of manners anyway.

All that mattered was that I had gotten out of that awkward situation. At least for the time being.

As I stumbled my way towards my property, the night sky was full of stars. The stars, you know, they somehow looked different on Mars than they did on Earth; it was a sight that always fascinated me, even those many years on. As I walked I stared up at the sky, the bar and its crowd behind me a good thirty or forty feet.

But then I had to rub my eyes. In the sky, it looked like there was something moving. I could not tell just what it was, other than it was blocking out the stars and drifting up and down as if it were a like a bird flapping its wings. But there were no birds on Mars. And this thing was big- it was no bird. In the air there was a strange creaking sound, I thought it similar to back in the day when I had a car and the brake pads were worn thin. Real screechy and real odd to hear.

As the weird figure in the sky passed over me I followed it as best I could with my eyes. It seemed to be heading into New Earth One- but why? What was it?

Then, it was over Martha Ann and Dan’s, and…

Out of nowhere, fire shot out of the sky. A long, hot, wave of fire, and it seemed to totally engulf the bar from corner to corner.

And I just stood there, stunned, not believing what I was seeing and knowing better than to get close.

The air was quickly filled with the screams of everyone still inside the building as well as with the crackling sound of the flames burning away at the structure. The figure in the sky continued its rain of fire for what seemed like ten seconds, and then took off further into the settlement, a strange roar now accompanying the screeching.

I ain’t no firefighter, so I’d have been of little use should a rescue effort have been needed. But it was too late for heroics- Martha Ann’s and Dan’s was just a pile of ash and embers.