“Respected, I almost want to be revered, that's what I'm chasing.” - Shia LaBeouf

Achieving consciousness for the 5th time now, I realize I’m upside down. Chained up by my feet, my arms pinned to my sides. With how much I get knocked about, I'm surprised I don't have a serious brain injury. Hanging upside down feels quite strange. All the blood was in my head. I had an awful headache. I look over to my left and see a man sitting by a fire.

“Nice to see you’re finally awake friend” He says as he takes a bite off a lizard leg. “Sorry for chaining you up like that. See I gotta make sure you’re not secretly a lizardman. I fell for it once with Mark Zuckerberg and look at where I am now, in the middle of a fucking desert.”

“Any chance you can let me down man? I'm pretty sure I'm not a lizard man.” I respond while coughing. Fuck my head hurts.

“I don't know man, lately these lizards have gotten pretty smart in impersonating humans.” The man stands up and starts coming close to me. “You see, if they eat our brains, they retain all of our knowledge, making it simple to impersonate humans. The only way to truly check if they're lizardmen is to scalp them. That's when their scales come out.”

He pulls out a knife while chuckling.

“Hold up man, I'm innocent, I'm not a lizardman dammit. Let me down!” Panicking I start shaking my body like a fish.

He comes closer and reaches to grab my hair when all of a sudden the chains on my legs give out and I come crashing to the ground. Adrenaline coursing through my body, I get up ready to fight. I look the man in the eyes. Holy fuck. It's Shia LeBeouf.

“Mr. LeBeouf? I'm not your enemy man. Calm down. I'm 100 percent human my dude.” I say while backing up with my palms facing forwards.

“Who sent you! How do you know my name!?!?!” He screams at me while taking aggressive steps in my direction.

“No one sent me! I know you from the TV, you disappeared like 2 years ago man. Can we talk this out?”

He doesn't respond and instead lunges at me with his knife. I slap the inside of his hand, grab, and twist, causing him to lose his grip on the knife. He swings at me with his other hand as I duck and sweep his feet out from underneath him. Getting him on the ground, I bring my hand around and lock his head in between my arms and my ribs. I twist myself and land on his back, choking him out.

I knock him out with a rear naked choke.

I guess he's gone insane. I see my pack and gear in a corner of the cave. I check to make sure he's unconscious and alive before I grab my gear and leave.

Following the wind, I make my way up to the mouth of the cave. I take a few sips of water and head off into the desert again.