Valentine’s heart breaks on a Thursday. It’s early fall, the nights have grown cold, the leaves just starting to turn. He’s lost track of the exact month, the year. He only knows the day because of his class schedule; Thursday is the day that his independent study block coincides with Gee’s lunch hour. It’s the highlight of his week.

Valentine’s waiting for Gee in their usual corner of the outdoor amphitheater just outside the cafeteria. He should be studying while he waits but instead he dozes, eyes half shut as he leans back against the brick wall. It’s been a long morning and Gee’s almost always running late these days.

He startles awake to a hand on his shoulder, gentle but firm.

“Hey Val,” Gee’s smiling at him, the one that’s just for Valentine, the barest upturn of lips, eyes crinkling in delight.

His eyes.

They glow. Instead of his usual black-brown they’re an unnatural gold, like sunlight through amber. Gee’s talking a mile a minute, half tackling Valentine as he gathers him up into a crushing hug. None of his words register past the roaring in Valentine’s ears, the rapidly growing anxiety fluttering in his chest, making his fingers go numb.

One of the last procedures performed on participants in the DEXO program in preparation for their exodus into space has the noted and curious side effect of permanently changing a person’s eye color. The process is rumored to involve exposing them to massive doses of radiation and magic, but it’s proprietary and like everything else about the program it is heavily obscured from its participants. Supposedly it’s a preventative measure to keep all their augmentations from mutating the wrong way, spiraling out of control and turning them into monsters.

It’s not foolproof, no such promises have been made about any part of the program, but it will give them a solid base of protection against whatever they might run into as they flee the only planet they’ve ever known. It will be the turning point in their lives, the one thing that will definitively set them apart as other and not entirely human anymore. They will no longer be able to hide how they’ve been changed.

Valentine finally snaps out of his stupor and roughly shoves Gee back. Gee isn’t the least bit phased by this, more than used to Valentine’s tendency towards prickliness and sometimes extreme dislike of overt displays of emotion.

He laughs, delighted. “Come on Val, can’t I get at least one hug? I made first class! I mean, shipping out is more than enough but I’m going to have subordinates! Me! In charge! Can you believe it?”

It is objectively good news that is worth celebrating, the best news really. Almost everyone in the program will ship out sooner or later but to receive a ranking of first class means that Gee will have one of the highest positions of authority on both his flight out and the future settlement he’ll be a part of despite the fact that he’s still a few years off from the age of majority.

Valentine’s practically gasping, not able to take in enough air and he’s not sure if it’s just because Gee still doesn’t know his own augmented strength and that hug did some serious damage or if it’s the crushing realization that he’s run out of time pushing him into a panic.

Valentine’s plan of the last several years has come to nothing. He has no hope of catching up to Gee now and his best and only friend is going to leave him behind. He’s run himself ragged and taken unthinkable risks, done everything he could so that they could ship out together. Gee’s friendship has been the only thing that’s made being a part of the program tolerable, the only thing that’s given him hope for the future.

He’s going to be alone, again.

Valentine clenches his jaw and pushes himself to his feet, blinking furiously against the hot pricking of tears in his eyes. He fumbles for the strap of his bag, roughly swings it up and over his shoulder.

“Val?” Gee looks up at him from where he’s crouched on the ground, the beginnings of concern wiping the smile off his face.

His eyes continue to glow. They always will now. They look really cool. Valentine hates them.

He sniffs, trying to at least keep his shit together until he can find somewhere to be alone. He forces a smile and it hurts. “‘Grats Gee, you’re gonna do great. I gotta-” Gestures helplessly as he sniffs again, face hot and tears imminent. Fuck, he’s got to get out of here. “Class. Later.”

Gee scrambles to his feet before Valentine can take two steps. He grabs Valentine’s hand, the one that’s not currently got a death grip on his bag strap. He tugs, gentle but firm, causing Valentine to half trip, half turn. Gee reaches out to steady him, placing both hands on his shoulders.

He’s got that pitying look on his face, that one that Valentine absolutely can’t stand, especially not today.

“Oh, Val.”

Tears spill down Valentine’s face and he hates everything. He hates how his best is never enough, how he can’t even keep his shit together long enough to congratulate his best friend. His best friend who now feels sorry for him, because he’s a pathetic, miserable mess.

Valentine snarls and shoves Gee as hard as he can. Caught off guard, Gee stumbles backwards, eyes wide with shock.

Valentine turns. He runs. His bag slams against his leg, he shrugs it off in a fury. He doesn’t need it anymore, what use are classes to him now?

His lungs are on fire and his throat’s raw and he can’t stop the tears and all he can taste is salt.

He body slams his way through a series of doors, barreling his way through the buildings that stand between him and the outer gates of the compound. Several of these doors are alarmed but he barely registers the sound over his harsh breaths and the slap of his shoes on the pavement.

He catches his hip on a pushbar which spins him just enough to trip over his own feet and he goes sprawling out onto the pavement. He skins his knees, his palms.

He loses time between his fall and being hauled off to the infirmary. He vaguely registers the dressing down he’s being given as they debride and disinfect his wounds but he’s miles outside his own body and it all feels like it’s happening to someone else, some other poor fucker that’s ultimately doomed to be alone.

The lecture ends with him being told that he’s confined to quarters but what does he care, the whole place is a prison anyway. The only thing that made it tolerable was Gee, and Gee—

Gee ships out before Valentine’s confinement is over; he doesn’t get to say goodbye.