Chapter 22

The book closed with a soft thud. A young girl, short dark hair and deep green eyes, lay on a bed, surrounded by machines making all kinds of obnoxious beeping noises. As bad as the noises were, the tubes that came from them, now uncomfortably lodged in the girl’s body, were worse. She knew that their removal wouldn’t relieve her discomfort for long, because she’d be dead…

She glanced over at the flowers by her bed, lilies, her favorite. Her dad hadn’t visited her once, she’d almost given up on him until he’d shown up, out of the blue and brought her these. She hadn’t known about her mother, that her ailment had been genetic and that her dad knew this would happen. She hadn’t known that this would be the second time her father would have to watch someone he loves die, it didn’t excuse his cowardice, but it certainly explained it. She didn’t dwell on it with him, she was just glad to have her dad back. She’d been sick nearly her whole life, getting worse and worse by the day. Initially her dad had regulated her entire life, the same schedule day after day, but, when she’d run away, he dropped all of it.

She’d been found half dead in a bus stop bathroom, desperately clinging to life. There’d been a blizzard and her decision to seek shelter had been the only thing that kept her alive. A young doctor found her and brought her to this hospital, informed her father, but he’d refused to come, that is, until a few days ago.

“How are we feeling today Jennifer”? The young doctor wore a long white lab coat, he had curly brown hair styled evenly to the side and eyes such an odd shade of blue they were nearly grey.

“Aside from the whole dying thing, I’d say I’m doing pretty good.” The doctor smiled and leaned over to check the readings on the machine, but Jennifer stopped him, “I… I made a decision.”

“Oh”? The doctor raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah… I think I’m ready… to die.” The young doctor froze, and his eyes scanned her slowly, his hands shook.

“Jennifer I think tha-” She raised a hand to stop him,

“And I’d like to specifically request that my heart go to your sister, the nurse she… she told me that was an option.” She’d never seen someone so stunned before, the doctor stammered for a moment before finally rubbing his face with his hands and taking a seat in the corner of the room.

“She shouldn’t have told you about my sister, and she certainly shouldn’t have given you any ideas about you potentially donating your heart.” His tone was strict, but he couldn’t be as mad as he’d wanted to be, the nurse loved his sister almost as much as he did, nothing he said would’ve stopped her.

“Don’t get mad at her, she just did what she thought was right… I can respect that. But I’ve made up my mind, so don’t you dare try to talk me out of it”!

When Jennifer had first entered the hospital she had continually made a fuss about leaving. Every chance she got she’d demand to know when she could go home, how long the tests would take, when she’d be off this machine, but, a few months ago… Death is frightening especially for someone so young. She’d refused all councouling, denied every Priest, Rabbi or Holy man that set foot through her door. The young doctor had vented about this to a colleague who, listening intently to the situation, produced a book from his locker and handed it to the him to give to Jennifer. He said that everyone has a story, and sometimes they need a little help finding it.

The young doctor glanced over at the book sitting, closed, on her lap.

“You finished the book”? He asked, wanting to change the subject.

“Nope.”

“Nope”?

“I didn’t finish the last chapter.”

“Don’t you want to know how it ends”?

“Naw, I’d much rather make up my own ending. I may not like the author’s ending, but I know I like mine. And, as long as I don’t read his, I’ll only ever have mine.” The doctor and Jennifer talked for hours after that, ensuring that Jennifer fully understood what was about to happen, contacting her father and getting a start on the paperwork.

After the doctor left Jennifer sat alone in the room, her eyes wandering. Outside the door she saw the young veteran, must be a tuesday, she smiled. He’d lost his leg over seas and, after returning to the states, began physical therapy to master the prosthetic, his dad worked in the hospital so he stopped by every tuesday to grab lunch. He’d been one of the first people to talk to her when she arrived, he had bright orange hair and a wicked sense of humor, refreshing for a girl who lived most of her life alone.

Out the window she saw another old friend, a tiny little bird with bright feathers of all different colors. Jennifer always thought that they looked like a little coat and bowtie, the image made her smile.

She’d made so many more friends, but she knew she may not see them all today. That made her sad, but in a happy sort of way. What’s happier for lonely people than knowing that they’ve made so many friends that they may not be able to say goodbye to all of them?

She wondered if they’d be proud of her… Proud of the decision she’s making. She thought about all the kids in her neighborhood growing up, how mean they’d been, she wondered what they’d say if they saw her now. She wondered about her mother, the woman she’d never met… What would she think of the person her daughter’d become? But all those questions really didn’t matter anymore. Jennifer knew one thing for certain, and she picked up the hand mirror by her bed and raised it in front of her face. Taking a quick glance around to make sure no one was watching, she removed the tubes from her nose. With her face now clear and entirely her own, she met her own gaze and smiled. She was proud of the person she saw, proud of the person she’d chosen to be.

THE END