《A Robbery Of Goats》Chapter 8: Venomous Minds
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“Ah, I am not real, you say… May I ask what makes you think so?”
Rowan stared into Icid’s most front facing eyes.
“Logic dictates that you’re an NPC. That would simply make most sense given your actions.”
“NPC? A non-profit company?”
Icid rolled her many eyes and uncorked the regeneration pot.
“I know it’s pointless to tell an AI to ‘drop the act’. But pretending to not know what an NPC is, seems like quite the desperate denial of reality.”
Rowan weighted her options for a little, but decided they all would end up in the same place anyway.
“So I guess NPC means AI then?”
Icid tipped the flask, making its contents flow into the wound.
“Shouldn’t you be replying with a resounding ‘I am totally real, honest’?”
Rowan let out a relieved sigh as the pain finally started to lessen.
“Well then, let us have that hypothetical conversation. I am totally real, honest.”
“Prove it.”
“I can’t.”
…
“Listen Icid, doubting the reality of the world around you is always dangerous. But inside a simulation, it is the road to madness. We are dead, you might think of me as an AI, but you are simulated memories at most. In the end it does not matter if I am simulated memories or an AI pretending to be simulated memories. There is not much difference.
The problem comes when you start thinking of me or other beings around you as not real. Once you see nothing but actors, all there is left to do is burn the stage. This is the AFTERLIFE, everything is fake, so nothing is fake.
I can’t prove to you I have once lived, I cannot even prove that to myself. But I can tell you that I am real, even if there is no evidence to support my claims. Because I believe it so.”
They spent a long time in silence. Some of the cityscape flooded in through the thin cloth covering the wood frame, allowing some limited one-way viewing. The rough wooden roads rolled ever on, passing by unchanged for many miles.
This city contained very limited stone construction. Cloth and wood seemed to be the only major building materials, with bone a far third. The sounds of the city continued on, unchanging and unbroken, without reprieve. People talking, working, living, all slowly burning in the hot sun and dry dust.
Sometimes the creature that pulled the card would make a loud snort. It was a horse-like being. Although judging from its species name dustbuck, deer-like would be a better description. They were hardy things with loose hides, horns growing like spiralling scrubs and thick hair that coloured an earthy red.
Every single one looked starved, with the forms of their bones showing even through the thick skin. But this seemed to be the way these beasts are, regardless if they were well fed, always starving and dusty.
After a long, long time Icid finally looked up from her murmurings.
“I don’t believe you.”
Rowan dragged herself straight and tested her shoulder.
“So be it, there is nothing I can do to help with that.”
…
“Anyway, this regen stuff is quite a miracle in a bottle. My wound seems to be healing so fast I can almost see it.”
Icid glared at her with a noticeable amount of frustration.
“Well, it is literal magic in a bottle, so that is not surprising. Not th-”
She bit her lip and looked away.
“Not that you don’t know that already? If you were expecting an AI to admit it is an AI, then you were fighting a losing battle from the start, little spider. We will be in this cart for a couple of days. It would be beneficial to both of us if you engage in merry conversation instead of moping around.”
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After angrily clicking a couple of times, Icid put out a cloth on the ground and sat down. It was either that or hanging on the walls as she did not fit on the benches.
“That was quite a poor display on those roofs, you were a hair’s length from falling. The dustmites would have torn you into bits as soon as you would have hit the stream. I would have expected better from the highly experienced Rowan Walker.”
Rowan made a dismissive sound with her nose.
“Both this world and this body put me quite far out of my comfort zone. The muscle strength of these tiny legs is shockingly low and my small size makes me unsuitable for all-out combat.
It is taking me longer than I had anticipated getting used to the changes. Especially when it comes to parkour, apparently. But that will fix itself in time.
I must say you did well, although you legwork needs serious refinement. But you overall output was more than astounding. People tend to not be able to throw themselves over large gaps, it requires serious suppression of your instincts. It is probably a waste to ask, but… have you gone through some combat training before you got here?”
“Combat training, like karate and stuff? We had to do some introductory lessons in high school, but other than that, not really.”
Rowan looked around the cart and probed the floor a couple of times.
“No, not karate. More like... kill or be killed combat training. The real stuff, bone breaking holds, effective chokes, knife deflecting and other useful things like that. But that you haven't is not surprising.
It at least gives us another thing to do for the next couple of days. Luckily the floor seems quite sturdy.”
Icid stood back up, eyeing Rowan suspiciously.
“What do you mean ‘Luckily the floor seems quite sturdy’?”
Rowan gave a smile full of teeth.
“Before ‘that’ I will need to have something cleared up. Last time, when I asked you 'why you wanted to come along' you answered ‘because it sounds fun’.
That might work for following a stranger into trouble, but as you have noticed my occupation tends to attract danger. I highly doubt you are still here, pulling bullets out of my back, because ‘that sounds fun’.
I want you to know, that you can get off here if you want. If you keep your head down for a while, you will be able to get away with it.
Lock yourself up in a shady inn for three months and then come out under a different name. With medieval level technology, they don’t have many options for finding you. I can give you most of the coin we have. If you live frugally, it will last a long time.
You don’t have to do this, the stealing, the fighting and the eventual murdering this road will end up at. Our last twelve hours were only the tip of the iceberg, the real journey has not even started. It is still early days for you, you can still get out.”
All eight eyes rolled forward to gaze into Rowan's black lumps of coal.
“I don’t want out.”
Another dismissive sound escaped Rowan's nose.
“That is all well and good, but that leaves me with another problem. I do still not fully understand what you what. Or to phrase it differently, what do you hope to gain from our cooperation?”
She wavered a bit, her eyes rolling back to their original positions.
“Well eh… Money, I guess-”
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With a sudden burst of motion Rowan dove and slid under Icid abdomen.
In a single motion, she grabbed slightly behind the cephalothorax and jammed her hooves into the floor. As the force tilted her forward Icid’s entire body started to roll over her abdomen, lifting her legs off the floor.
“Kyaaaaaaaaa!”
Boff- Icid toppled onto her back, allowing Rowan to lock her hooves around her sides. Icid’s legs flailed, but were unable to make the 360-degree bend needed to get at the attacker. Her arms fell short too, and could not reach over her cephalothorax while she lay stretched out.
“Now Icid, money is quite a nice answer.
It is a partial truth. That is why it works well as a lie. It also isn’t a glamorous or moral answer, which helps to make it convincing. But you had to go put an ‘I guess…’ behind it.
People who do something for money, are sure they are doing for money Icid. You won’t get an ‘I guess’ with them. Money is cold and calculated, to do something for gold and riches leaves no room for doubt.”
“Get off, you garbage feeder! Why the corpse flies did I need to get suplexed for that lecture.”
“First off, a suplex is a backwards throw, this did not even resemble one.”
“I don’t care!”
“That is obvious, dear.
But secondly, if you are going to come along, you will need to get some rudimentary combat training done. Preferably, I would have someone drill you on the entire ‘art’ for a handful of years. But I lack the resources and can use the extra hands.”
“I did not consent to this, let me go!”
Rowan's eyes went stone cold as she produced a small chuckle. Then in a flash, she jumped between the flailing legs and ended on Icid’s rump.
Before Icid could react, Rowan had wrapped her claws around her soft neck. The carriage went quiet as the flailing stopped.
Icid hesitantly swallowed as she slowly turned white. Rowan moved closer till their foreheads touched.
“Consent?
You decide to be taken under the wing of a criminal, and then you expect to be asked when you want to train or not?
Let me make something very clear, Miss Icidae Salt. Right now, you are a liability to me. That chase would have ended in a fraction of the time if hiding had been an option, instead of dumbly outrunning the guards.
But you can’t be trusted to hide, to know where to regroup to or be capable of not drawing attention to yourself. To disappear in the middle of a chase is an art that needs to be taught.
Half the reason I let you close is because you are interesting. And if properly trained you are likely to develop further. But do not confuse, being allowed you to backtalk me, into getting the idea in your head that we are equals. I am in command, and you will follow orders.”
Rowan's voice had become nothing more than a growling whisper at the end.
“Throw me off, little spider.”
…
“Throw me off, or else.”
She leaned in, her sharp claws slowly digging into the flesh. Icid produced a shocked rasp with her throat and started an uncoordinated struggle.
Latching onto Rowan’s arms, she tried to pull the claws off her neck.
“Useless movements, my arms carry the weight of my body along the axis of gravity. From that position you only pull them more down.”
Slightly more desperately she tried to throw her body left and right, but she was unable to get Rowan to budge. She slowly became a porcelain white as she tried to breathe with half of her air pipe closed.
Tears welled in her eyes as she flailed around.
“Oh, come on! Are you going to be like when an actual enemy comes for you?
Completely locked up because of a smidgen of aggression?
Bite me, claw at me, use your legs, use your threads!
If you don’t even plan to fight, there is nothing I can teach. Like this, in the road we are going down, you will be dead in a week.”
Slowly Icid’s pupils started to dilate as her fear started to mix with anger. She wrapped both of her arms around Rowan’s left and then pulled it closer.
Almost instantaneously her fangs flashed outward as her head lunged forward. Rowan aggressively shifted her weight to the right, pulling her hand free.
“Good, that is a start-”
Boff- four legs connected with the left side of her head, sending her toppling even further to the right. Icid carried her momentum through and rolled over her other legs. Bringing her back to a standing position with Rowan lying below her.
“Good, that works for getting me thrown off. But what do you do now, dear?”
Icid produced a couple of angry clicks, but otherwise stood indecisively. After waiting through a couple of seconds of hesitation, Rowan sighed and rolled sideways. This knocked the bi-claws out of the ground counter to their functional direction.
With a couple of long strides, she circled behind Icid’s abdomen and leapt on her back. As Icid tried to turn Rowan moved her arms under her armpits and then folded them back, clasping them together behind the neck.
Icid let out an animalistic hiss as her eyes turned completely bloodshot.
“Good, let us return to my earlier question. What do you hope to gain from our cooperation?”
After a couple furious ragged breaths, Icid answered.
“The power to harm those who wronged me. To wrench out the eyes of little AI goats who don’t know their place.”
“Ah, now that is an answer I can work with. But is that all?
Vengeance is a fine motivation, but you don’t strike me as a person wholly consumed by it. There is too much 'want' left in you for that.”
Another pause, longer this time.
“Respect and loyalty…
I want people to bow, willingly, like knights before their king.
Glory, castles, dresses, crowns, lovers, friends, servants... I want it all.”
…
“Go ahead and laugh, I know I sound like a psychopath. I don’t even know where I got the idea from, it just was… there one day.
This is what you wanted to hear right? This was the whole reason you attacked me so aggressively.”
“Oh, my dear Icidae, if only you were like this all the time. I would go on my knees and propose to you right now.
If we would be capable of bottling whatever ludicrous stimulant your body loads into your brain when you get angry, we could be billionaires by tomorrow.
Now Icid, for the last question. Do you want me to teach you?
It will hurt, mentally and physically. I will break your body and mind, turning it into a lethal weapon. You will gain comrades, become friends with them, love them, and then you will see them get killed before your very eyes.
Moments will come when allies will have to be sacrificed and brothers left behind. There is no telling what other terrors may befall you. Once you say yes there is no longer a going back.
I will drag you with me, regardless if you scream, cry or beg me to stop. This is my last warning. I can get you what you want, but beyond this point there is no return.
Icidae Salt, will you be my apprentice?”
“You don’t scare me, goat.
I will be your apprentice, I decided so the moment we first met.”
Rowan grinned widely.
“Excellent, let me show you an actual suplex then.”
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