A Dark Time

Etham Bannecath

“Uuugh, my head.” I manage to utter. My head, no my whole body is killing me. How much did I drink? Wait, did I drink? I thought Hassel drank the last of it? I twitch my arm and pain arches through my being.

“Argh, aaaagh.” My screams echo through the burnt room. Only silence responds. Flashes run rampant through my mind, following the shock of pain. Of the guards, dr Errhart and the flames. The tank naturally came back last. I try to push myself up again, but I immediately collapse into oblivion.

An unknown amount of time passes before I wake up again. Strangely enough, most of the pain is gone now. I manage to stand up with only some slight stinging on my arms. My eyes burn but other than that, they are bloody useless. Everything is pitch black. I manage to get up without too much swaying, though it's starting to diminish I hesitantly take a step forwards, splashing and cracking glass under my foot.

Reaching the wall is a good plan. I’d be damned if I can remember or even imagine where I am standing in the room. I slowly and calmly walk forwards, only putting my full weight on my foot if there is no glass under it. So, I only lightly stub my toe against another tank. “Pigs on a pony! Au!” Still, I have sensitive toes.

I feel over the tank, trying to decide with direction its facing. The tanks are all in rows facing the entrance. So that will help me getting out of this room and find some help. And why they switched off the lights to this room. Hm, it’s facing my left.

I turn left and walk forwards again. My steps are a bit more hurried this time. I trip over the charred remains of the desk and I manage to only just stop myself falling by grabbing the desk. “Oh no, no, no.” I whimper as it creaks and gives way. Pushing myself off from the desk only made it collapse quicker.

“Gods damn it.” What idiot puts a desk, a wooden desk no less, in this room. We even have a dedicated section for offices and everyone that needs one in the facility gets one. I swear, when I get out of here I am going to tell the directory board of CARC to get that idiot fired. What was that idiot called again that worked in this room? Stennard? Well, I am going to get him fired. How in the hells did he even get the desk here?

Well, I am still in absolute darkness, I grope around the remains of the broken desk to see if anything useful is hiding in them. “Au.” I flinch surprised. Something cut my hand. I could try and reach for it again, but since I can’t see it, it will probably cut into my hand again. But damn me if I don’t want it. I pat the ground near where I cut myself with my hand, and then big pats of course. Hopefully it won’t slice me then.

I probably should be concerned with the cut I got, but I just can’t be bothered. With all else that happened you know. And it’s only a cut, I have certainly felt worse things since this happened.

I have it! I think it’s a pocket knife. I’m keeping it and putting it safely in my pocket. Shame that I have barely any use of it now. What could it even be used for currently though? I still can’t even see it! Anything is pointless in this blasted darkness. Well, I have one thing that I can do and that is finding the door. Hopefully it’s only this room that conquered by the abyss.

Let’s see. Do I remember where the desk was compared to the door…? Maybe? Hopefully? No…? Oh joy. Now comes the next question. Do I want to lose the desk and maybe, quite unlikely, find the door? Sure, I guess I would be able to find the wall with some hassle but the desk is an important room mark you know. Leaving it just seems… Unsafe.

What am I saying. I am a Bannecath. And while that doesn’t mean much yet, I hope someday it will. So why not start now? Goodbye desk. You probably beautiful pile of rubble. Thank you for the knife.

“By the gods, I hate this.” Do you know that sensory deprivation can drive a man mad? Apparently, people who can see their arms moving in front of them in utter darkness, which is an illusion by the way, are sooner susceptible to madness. I am sure the illusion thing is fictional though. Do I seem mad otherwise? Not to me.

I try to walk around the debris on the floor to continue in the line I first hit the desk with. Don’t worry, sounds complicated but basically it just boils down to continuing. Why I myself wouldn’t understand it is beyond me however. Just continue. That’s all you can do.

If only there was some blasted light and then all this would be so much easier. How is the rescue team even going to find or see me without a light? A light would also get rid of this suffocating feeling that comes with the void. I just need some of that oh so blessed light. But I swear, unless my eyes are blind, I am doomed to these hollow halls. And I can’t accept that.

Aha! I am touching the wall! No man was right by being left. To the right we go. I am not as much walking alongside the wall as keeping my hand on it to anchor me to reality. That’s how I picture it in my mind at least. Far more exciting to say than just that I fear losing touch with the wall. Sure, I should be able to easily find it again but this abyss… Irrational fear lingers within.

Forget it all, stuff it in the deepest pit of hell. I have no use of fear! You feel this? I am touching the wall! That means I will get out of here! You hear me Errhart? I will survive this hell hole you left for me. And the best thing is that it would happen all the sooner with some damned LIGHT! Suddenly it feels like a tide of energy pours out of me, leaving me somewhat exhausted. Then a foreign spark blinds my eyes, and like the contrast between heaven and the abyss it hurt them.

“Au! What in the…” I curse and stagger backwards. But there is a floating fire here! A floating fire! I can shatter tank sure, maybe my private working out sessions helped. But a floating fire! There are no reasons for any of these recent happenings Well, what that idiot Errhart did probably has a reason but that’s innate. Considering we are in a facility researching arcanium, that would seem like the most obvious choice. But if arcanium is the cause of this then why hasn’t it happened before…

The experiment. Don’t tell me they went on with it. But if they did… then it seems they managed to create something more than a fire. A grin splits my face at the possibilities. My theories, once merely that, can now be proven and acted upon! Oh, my dreams have been granted. And only at the mere cost of some lives! Hopefully Errhart being one of them. Really, if everyone had just listened to me and weren’t unfaithful bastards I say they’d all still be alive.

Giddy, I look up at the flame that has given me both hope and salvation. It is an unnatural flame and it shines with a baleful permeating light. The base is a inky black, almost as if the fire is burning the dark itself. From it rise pink flames, dark from where they come from the black flames but they gradually turn lighter. The fire ends with light blue tongues of flames. The light it shines is either pink or blue but I can’t seem to see it as one or the other. Truly mysterious.

Anyway, I can now roughly see the room but the light gets too faint for details. I move over to the door, which luckily isn’t too far away from the light. The door is a black mess but it still sits quite sturdy in the doorframe. Not strong enough to hold against continuous bashing though, because it flies right off. And thus I am free! Free from this room anyway.

The corridor is dark and blackened. A disgusting, retching foul stench wafts in from the hallway. The smell of burnt flesh. Oh, damn it. I wish I could close the door but you know, bashed open and all at. Maybe place the door back into its frame? Hm, it just doesn’t look that… sturdy anymore. It would still work as a door, well if you are not too picky on being able to open it, but the plastic was all horribly melted and some places were even burnt through. Luckily there are other options for smart me.

I walk back to my broken tank and dip my shirt in its liquidly stuff. I then quickly cover my mouth and nose with it, making the smell somewhat bearable and the air breathable. I peer into the corridor but it's mostly all dark with a few very faint embers still glowing. So not only the sleeping room is burned, though that doesn’t surprise me at all considering it crept in from outside the door in the first place. The corridor is still too dark though.

I glance back at the little flame. First, I look for something burnable that hasn’t burnt yet in the room. I didn’t even bother looking near the tanks and immediately went over to the ruined desk. Hm, I guess the table leg isn’t all that burnt? Welp, it will have to do.

With the table leg in hand I walk over to the little flame. I poke it, but the leg goes straight through it. If I can’t move it, then I’ll just set something alight that I can. I stand there waiting for the leg to catch fire for what felt like fifteen minutes. I suppose I can stand here waiting for a bit longer, who knows what kind of fire this is. But I am just not that patient.

“Welp, guess I don’t need this anymore.” I throw the leg away. “Oh, fak it.” I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? I then shove my hand into the flame. “Aaaagh!” I scream. A grin splits my face. Just kidding. I weirdly enough feel nothing, no heat and no pain. But aside from all the… Well, I guess I can call it magic. So aside from all the magic and burned facilities, it is kind of lonely here. Still, I’d rather be lonely than discover that dr Errhart is alive. But hopefully not everyone is dead. But if they are then I won’t have to share any of the remaining food until we are rescued…

Oke, back to the light. The small flame is heatless but all the fire does is flicker. I was hoping to see if it would move but alas, it didn’t. Guess it’s time to try and blow it away. I take in a deep breath and then ferociously try to blow the damned flame away. The flame burns stoically as I slowly sputter out. Yeah, that’s not happening. It didn’t even flicker and just seems to laugh at me. I made you damnit! Hey… If I made the first one… I got to try something.

I try to ignore the smell as well as I can as I walk back into the corridor. The smell is getting ever so slightly easier to stomach, mainly due to the odour drifting in the sleeping room. I hope I’ll be able to adapt to it before I am stuck in perpetual submersion.

If I want to continue I do need some more lights. And if I want to make some more lights I must figure out how to bloody make them. It can’t be that difficult though. Remember who I am? I am the very reason I am here. I am important due to who I am. Truly, I doubt anyone else would have been in my circumstance if they weren’t me. And that fact should be known if I am going to figure this out. I am meant to survive and conquer magic.

I am Etham Bannecath, the son of a shop owner and a loving mother. I found my dream and future with arcanium and I will continue with magic. And I will survive.

So… How did I do it again. Ha, all that bravado and then this. Quite funny. Ah, anyway. Think back. I was getting fed up with it all. You can barely do anything if you don’t have any light. I pat my pocket, feeling the pocket knife in it. I guess I can have a look at it, this magic stuff isn’t going to happen too soon.

“Oh, look at this. Fancy.” I mutter to myself. This is an official CARC pocket knife. I didn’t think they handed these out anymore. Shame that its only cheap Chinese work. To be fair though, with the cost of everything else, I wouldn’t care either how good such a knife would be. But in this case the quality of the knife is quite poor.

I don’t know what I can use the knife for yet but I put it back into my pocket. Thank this blessed light though. And here’s to making many more. The creation of the first spell was linked to my emotions I’d guess. It can’t be a coincidence that I was getting angry and formed that flame after my outburst. It also is quite suspicious it formed at the word ‘light’. As good a start as any I suppose.

“Light.” Nothing happens. “Light!” Still nothing. At least my rescuers should be able to hear it, if they are down here yet. “LIGHT!” I shout to the top of my lungs. It isn’t working. So, it didn’t just happen because I shouted light. Would have been nice if it was that easy.

Ha, I remember something. That anger wasn’t the only thing I felt. That loss of energy, I can still feel it. That is the important part, that’s what I need to achieve if I want this magic. And the gods be my witness, do I want it.

I imagine the power in my grasp. “Light.” Not confidently enough? “Light.” It can’t be related to confidence. Confidence, yeah that would be stupid. Can’t be with mathematical formulas, I mean how would you even know what formulas to use at the start? Oh yeah, don’t drift off. The word ‘light’ should work and you were trying to reach your power. This does happen often though. I always had a concentration problem I think. My mother once told me… “Etham! Attention.” There I did it again.

Magic. Exploring my hidden depths. If I have any. But let’s be generous. How much time have I already spent trying to touch my source? Oh, cool name, good going Etham. Anyway, I must have been doing it for quite a while. But my sense of time is worthless. It has gotten boring non the less… but it’s magic. How many children’s dreams would have come true if only they were in my position? Okay, their dreams would be slightly insane, but magic makes up for that. Mostly.

I think it’s time for a break. I have all the time in the world. Well, that depends if the energy came from me, that I’d be the source, or from this place. I have no experience with this energy whatsoever. All the actual research I did was on arcanium so I can’t say. If I am to leave this power behind when the rescuers come… I don’t know if I then should go with them.

But that’s something for then. Now I will take a walk around the room again. With light this time, ha. I guess it looks the same as before. Darker as the little flame barely illuminated half the room and the tanks weren’t helping but it looks like when the guards were waiting for that Stennard guy to throw me in a tank. Yep, except for the lack of lamps and my broken tank, nothing changed. Boring.

I walk out into the corridor again. I try to keep my mouth and nose covered but I lower them accidently when I get distracted. I had totally forgotten it when I was looking for my magic. But the foul stench is still there, oozing in from the corridor. Who knows what poor bastards are out there. The guards and Stennard honestly. They certainly aren’t in the sleep chamber. A simplistic name ‘sleep chamber’ but that’s what the facility map calls it and it isn’t used often enough to get nickname. I imagine I will be in this room a while.

So… ah yes, the corridor. I’ll take a walk around. Walking always helps me to get a thoughtful head. There should be a door to storage on the wall opposite. It isn’t that useful now without any light in there but it’s good to remember. I don’t know where the nearest facility map is for example. They are supposed to be at key points in case of emergencies.

Luckily, I will always be able to see the door to the sleep chamber, due to the only light coming from within there. The only that can happen by trying to find the storage door is getting my shoes black. What? “Why…” I swear, I won’t ever say something that provocative ever again. Because do you know what just happened? I tripped over something. Yeah, with the light on the background I can see the outline better. A corpse. Ugh, let my stomach rest a bit.

I… I think I’ll take a short rest in the sleep chamber before I take care of this. And make no mistake, those bodies have to be taken care of. Ah… I never thought of myself as squeamish you know? And I still think that but it is just that I couldn’t have ever expected it to feel like this. Nothing can show you your mortality as well as another’s death. Those that inflict it either nether think of death, those delusional few, or are waiting for it to reach them. And everyone fights at that last hour of reckoning.

Anyway, I’d say that movies and the internet just can’t properly portray what it is like. To see a past human being. And that is also certainly different from animal bodies. I sigh as I consider it all. I haven’t often see a corpse. Only few people in our current day society can say they have regularly. Doctors and such being the normal cases. Not that I should search for them either. But, I rather be better prepared you know?

Come on Etham. Get back there and take care of those bodies. You can throw them in the back tanks. If you can see what you’ll be doing there that is. Just do it already. I may not have done much resting but the longer I delay, the more the smell is going to stay.

I walk back into the corridor. Oh. Guess I have to drag those bodies back inside. I am surely not going to carry them. These are my only pair of clothes for now and I don’t want whatever is left of that mess on them. Let’s just hope the bodies don’t break apart when I drag them. Knowing my luck, that’s precisely what will happen. I guess I should also try to keep them away from whatever of that liquid is still left. I am not looking forward to it but if I get desperate enough I might have to. I’m hoping the rescuers come before that.

I stop in front of the dark silhouettes. They aren’t recognisable anymore. It’s for the better though I wouldn’t mind kicking that tall guard a bit. Oh wait. Yep one of the corpses is about the height of the tall guard I’d say. Oh, I really want kick it a bit. But then I’d get my clothes dirty and who knows how big a pain getting it all inside will be then… Fine, I’ll leave it be. He’s dead anyway.

Ugh. He’s heavy. Remember Etham, you are not doing it for the corpse, you are doing it for yourself. Here he goes. His left arm feels a bit weak but I am sure it’s fine. Through the door you go. All the way to the back. Hey, there is another guy in that tank there. Oh yeah, that injured man. I hope he didn’t feel a thing.

Yep. I should have remembered. There is a ladder here that goes to the top of the tank, where you would generally get in or out. The question then is, how do I get this corpse up there? If I have to, I’ll carry slash drag it up there again. I already bound my shirt around my head and if I have to I could try to wash myself. Fine. With a grimace I place my arms under the charred bulk.

Up, up, up it goes. Only to fall again. With a small splash I push it in the tank. Then it just sinks. Well sink… I don’t know what kind of liquid this is, might even be a gel though it doesn’t look like it, but the corpse stops sinking as it reaches an upward position. To be fair the tanks aren’t that wide but I’d still expected it to slump down at the bottom. Now it looks like it is still sort of alive. Yuck.

And now for the other one. I’ll spare myself any conscious thought in the action, I’ll try to do this on autopilot. But this might give me more space to consider what I am touching… Or even worse how ridiculous the situation I am in is. Or how hopeless. I am back at the short stairs leading up to another tank in the back of the room. Maybe concentrating on this horrid task is not so bad.

Finished. It looks creepy enough, seeing those dark charred shapes in the shadowed back. Hm, I can still feel the exhaustion from the magic, though its far less than before. I can hardly describe how this exhaustion feels because it’s not the same feeling you get as when you are tired or ran a lot or something. No, it’s more like some parts of your body are stuck in this perpetual cold. It’s only later that you realise it has gotten less severe.

I think I’ll try this magic again. If all this is the price for this magic, I would even have offered more. I remove my shirt from where I wrapped it around my head to cover my mouth and nose. Yegh, ah that’s hard to bear. It will pass hopefully, now that I removed the corpses. Though there should be a third. That’s for later then. Now I am going to sit down and try to discover my ‘source’. What a cool name.

And I sit there for a while, ‘meditating’, but nothing comes to me. No feelings, magic or ideas spring up. I actually don’t know for how long I have been sitting here. Time just seemed to phase past me. I don’t feel hungry yet if that counts for anything. It’s actually kind of nice, like everything is still. Like I have all the time in the world. I could do this for a while… It is really relaxing…

Later…

The room starts shifting from one side to the other again. As if reality is unsure how to stand. Or maybe it's just me. Probably, this trance can't be helping. I was about to fall asleep but this sweet peace lured me into rest instead. It's hard to describe what it feels like. Perhaps that clarity people have when they are woken up in the middle of the night, they might respond to anything you ask but that clearness is illusive for they will sound fall asleep and forget it all again. You might however become confused as to what is a dream and what is not. I do know for a fact that I do things differently then. Like reaching for a piece of light.

I jump in the air as a shock runs through my system. “Uah! Uh.” A cold flash goes through my whole body. And I was just starting to get into meditation… I think? It’s actually all hazy, I can’t clearly remember myself meditating, maybe something about a star? I have no clue, I must have fallen asleep I guess. While I don't know how much time can have passed, I do however feel quite rested. I can barely notice that seeping cold anymore, not even if I try to.

But that shock that broke my concentration, from where in hell did it come? The bare snippers I can still recal aren't getting clearer, if anything they are getting worse. There is that lingering otherworldy taste on my mind, but who knows if I am not imagining that. Whatever the case, I felt something else at the end. That throb and the following cold. A grin splits my face.

I am sure I am taking great liberties in the steps of reasoning but I have just this feeling that it was a, hopefully my own, source. Magic is far too exciting for me to dismiss something such as this too easily. Who knows how this energy works? I wonder, is this energy released from arcanium itself or is the arcanium a catalyst? Should really get to my notes in my office. And the only sane way to get there is by having more lights.

I move into the corridor, everything still in that unnatural shine from the light of the fire that reaches here. While it isn’t comparable to the normal facility lamps, it does give the world a very clear definition of clarity.

I know that forcing a repeat of something that occurred intuitively is near to impossible but I have to try something you know. First I’ll try to get a clear mind while meditating. I will sit here until I have it, whether I shall notice or not. Slowly, my mind begins to lose its grasp on time again. Very slowly, which is ironic due to what it is that goes slowly.

Funnily enough, in the middle of my current effort to access magic, I notice two things; that I seem to be more lucid now even though it roughly feels the same as when I got it right the first time. And second, that I actually manage to attain it! Within this blissful enlightenment, I try the boundry before the sleep. It’s what worked last time. And as if stretched too thin, the moment snaps and I shoot back to my earthly self. “Woah.” I cry as I spasm for a second, falling back in a toss of limbs. That… was unpleasant. Even more so than the shock the first time. And they felt different as well, this one like I was pulled back instead of through of something.

Should I continue on? With trying to access magic that is. You know what. This time, I’ll just continue on until I have it. No pioneer of anything did it without going on. No man discovered flight without jumping from a height. Let go and be free, this world is just you and me.

I push myself back up and get back into a meditating position, similar to my other two tries. I calm my mind once again, quelling the turmoil the previous snap brought to me.

And I meditate there for an unknown length of time. It isn’t until a while later until I get that feeling of complete loss of time again. Now however, I go in all the way instead of trying to control it from the outskirts.

Like some foreign prince does it feel as I tread these dream like halls. In my mind, real but not in the least physical, is a torrent of chaos. Chaos that can be everything, is everything and was everything. A dream has no flow of time, it merely changes. One step doesn't always lead to another. So, for an unknown reason I take a leap. A new world streches itself back in place. Power in a new form.

A star of power shone unlike the flame, in my minds hazy eye. With a touch it spun and twisted, then flowed gently to my very fingertips, my eyes and my heart. I must use it before I lose control again. And thus, like a great and first born god, I told my power a simple command., “Light.” And my grin shone brighter than this new flame could boast.