Supreme Weapon Spirit: Legend of Maha

Author: LazyCreepyUncle

Chapter 10 - the Lazy Creepy Uncle

Although the moment was awkward, they still walked silently nonetheless. From a distance it almost seemed like funeral silence.

Maha looked at a tree far ahead as he walked…

10 Monkeys were playing on the tree. One got pushed off the tree by the biggest monkey. There was no pause. The other monkeys kept playing. The biggest monkey kept stomping on the monkey and killed it. The other monkeys kept playing. The dead body was left there. No one gave it a glance. Pedestrians walked around the corpse. It was as if it made no difference that death had happened before them.

Maha shuddered at the cold reception that the still warm body was getting.

“It's normal. The strong kill the weak. There's nothing we can do to stop it. It's not our fight.” Roland seemed downcast as he mumbled out those words. Roland's eyes momentarily lost all light as if he were possessed. Roland regained his senses and said “Forget what I just said. When you grow up, you must have enough power to overcome adversity, otherwise you will be crushed until you are a walking corpse of your former self.”

Maha didn't say a word. It felt too difficult to get his words out after hearing and seeing Roland. The dependable feeling wavered a bit.

A van suddenly blocked their way. The doors slid open, and inside was a space much larger than what a normal van could contain. A pot-bellied buddhist looking man with a pencil-moustache. There were lollipops on two cushions. The fat guy didn't say a word, but smiled widely, to a level that wasn't humanly possible. And waved them in.

Roland stepped forward without even thinking why, and Maha followed instinctively. The door slammed shut and the van phased through a nearby building and disappeared.

……

“You might be wondering why I brought you here. You can call me LazyCreepyUncle. I am what you would call the god of this world. Unfortunately, you were about to follow the previous stereotype of generic novels and repeat the same thing over and over with new people each time. I will not tolerate that. Therefore I have decided to divine a fortune for you two that will change your fate. Rea-”(LCU)

“-is that your true form?”(Maha)

“Before you ask, I'm not your creator. I can't give you hints now cause, that would ruin the story.

I gave you the power to scan, transform, and use your white qi to create anything you can imagine, or scan. Within reasonable limits of course. What I aim to create is a novel unlike the others that have a repeated revenge plot. How boring is that? We can't suddenly change either otherwise it would be too carefree like those Japanese novels. And in this world I can take any form I desire, and change identities at will.”(LCU)

“Then can you -”(Maha)

“Nope, if Aran remembers you, that will ruin the whole awkward entanglement for later on. That wouldn't be fun at all would it. Plus I'm already pissed that Dietarn decided to summon a Japanese person with cheats again. I just can't kill them quick enough and make it work with the plot. The darn old foggy won't kill the faker for tricking him, and I don't want to kill the Sage person he's important too! Argh!!! Candy?”(LCU)

“No thank you. Then in other words we are just actors in your book?”(Maha)

“Exactly, but don't worry, you'll forget most of this stuff when you leave my van. Now, eat the candy and we can begin our divination session.”(LCU)

By a force that they were unable to resist, Maha and Roland picked up the lollipop in front of them and began to eat it.

“Good… Good… too bad I can't capture this moment in picture. But I still have my book, eheh heh heh heh heh… I can see it now. Heroes force to eat uncle’s lollipop in a secluded van…”(LCU)

……

Once they were done eating, tarot cards appeared in LazyCreepyUncle’s hand. LazyCreepyUncle doesn't understand tarot cards though, so he make things up.

Shuffle.

Shuffle.

“Hmm… this card, it's the fool. It has the 0. That means infinite possibilities. This one flies to Maha, so Maha will change much…. I don't know much about tarot cards, so we'll replace them with Lazy Creepy Uncle’s Lazy cards.”

Shuffle.

Shuffle.

Whoops a card slipped out. Oh well we'll just change it to the fool.

“The fool, again, Maha you have a long journey ahead of you. The fool signifies a blank slate. One that can easily dyed into 50 shades of gre- I mean many different colors. A canvas that is sitting before you to paint your journey-”

“Hey what's 50 shade of-”

*snap*

“No talking while I'm divining!”

A lollipop flies into Maha’s mouth. Roland sits straighter but keeps his mouth shut.

“These 14 cards represent each of the 14 people you will meet that can add color to your canvas. The Valiant knight card. You've already encountered I believe?”

With a swish of the giant brush that appeared out of nowhere, the cards flew into a circle. They revolved for a while.

“Unfortunately, they each represent a hurdle for you to overcome. The Valiant knight. By being next to the sun, the moon becomes invisible. I believe you understand the meaning of that statement?”

“Next is the scapegoat card. Through a problem too great to handle, someone must be sacrificed. I believe you will find out soon enough. Remember, as the Fool, you have the ability to fool fate, and perhaps get a better end…”

…..

That was all of the conversation that Maha remembered. When he came to, he heard the revving of an engine. Maha turned to look. Maha saw a man who looked like an older version of him smile in a disturbing way, then drive off in his van.

Maha looked down and saw a lollipop in his hand. A very disturbing feeling, but not as much as the one he got while talking to the creepy guy. It wasn't just the candy, nor the shady van. The being himself gave off a shady feeling, the one you naturally get when the most disgusting tentacle is constantly ramming at you and touching you all over the place. Not in the good way either. The man seemed like the embodiment of tentacle rape.