The insects sang incessantly across town as the afternoon dragged on, just like every other day that summer. While the sun had begun to set and cool things off, the uncomfortable humidity characteristic to the northeast still clung to the air.

Levi draped himself over a bench in Dewitt Park. It had become a favorite retreat of his as of late whenever his presence in the shop was too much and caused Hugo to usher him out. Noelle had long since caught on to his common hiding places and had begun requesting meetings at them. Levi almost considered this considerate of her, but her acid tongue would always demolish any sense of goodwill the accommodating gestures built up.

Who was he kidding, he liked her acid tongue just fine.

Much like many other days, he was here by Noelle’s request. She had become an invaluable help to him, both for organizing the shop and for looking after Lorelei. Unfortunately, even with her help it was still a challenge to manage the witch, and it felt like this day in particular had been a failure on that front.

Levi glanced up at the sky as he watched the clouds idle by. It was nearly 8:15 PM and Noelle hadn’t shown yet. The normal response was to assume her work was causing her to run late, but there was a little voice in the back of his mind taunting him that she was dragging her feet showing up just to prove he would keep sitting there, waiting. At least Lorelei had already come back for dinner and was reading a book when he had left; his child-rearing duties for the day were done.

Motion and a wave of black hair dragged his attention away from the sky. Noelle had plopped herself down on the ground in front of the bench, preferring to use the seat as an armrest instead of for its true function. While she had tied most of her hair up into a bun, two larger strands framed her face and many smaller bits of hair were sticking out. Seeing that combined with the sweat staining her uniform and there was no doubt the weather was taking its toll on her.

“She didn’t want these,” groaned Noelle as she limply held up a plastic bag filled with feminine hygiene products. “Don’t you think this is all a bit overkill? You’d be better served getting Lorelei Maxi Pads.”

“She doesn’t want the organic stuff, huh?”

“Maximum overdrive.”

“I didn’t even say ‘Maxi!’ How many times are you going to do the same joke?!”

“Fuddy duddy.”

“Seriously? How old are you?”

Silence overtook the pair for a bit. Levi usually felt awkward when something like this happened, but with Noelle there was no issue. She was a bit like a cat, willing to be present but not requiring constant attention and stimulus.

Finally, she looked upwards at him and began to speak again. “I don’t think being overzealous with your purchases is going to get you anywhere with her.”

She was right of course. Levi had taken in Lorelei on an impulse simply because he was dissatisfied with how everything had played out. It had quickly become evident he was in over his head. Looking after somebody else was much harder than living to see another day on the battlefield, especially a child. If he was any good at looking after others he wouldn’t be the only person nicknamed “Survivor,” would he?

“I just...I don’t know how to approach her,” he said. “Talking to her can be really hard. I thought that buying nice things would be a good way to show that I care.”

“Only gold digging bitches are impressed by that kind of behavior,” snorted Noelle.

“She’s a kid.”

“Same difference,” she replied. “Point is, she’s not going to open up just because you feed her caviar and Dom Perignon.”

“I can’t afford that,” objected Levi.

“Quit ruining my joke! You were supposed to complain about the alcohol!”

“It’s not a joking matter.”

“Listen Levi, it’s not like she’s a bundle of sunshine with me either. She’s hurt and withdrawn and she’s not going to open up until she feels like it. All you can do is try to bond with her a little and be ready for her when she’s comfortable.”

He was taken aback. All this coming from a woman who was usually painfully blunt with him. This was just another surprise coming from Noelle. Not that it was entirely unexpected. This was a woman who put a berserk witch in a clinch and kneed her in the face, after all.

“I never realized you had such a grasp of childhood psychology,” commented Levi.

“I don’t,” said Noelle as she fanned herself. “I don’t know the first thing about people. All I can do is watch them like a hawk until I understand their behavior.”

“So you’re saying it’s strictly a predator-prey relationship?”

“Of course,” she giggled in a cute manner that Levi’s Noelle-experienced mind could only interpret as sinister. “That’s why I get along with Nyar so well. Isn’t that right?”

In response black wisp emerged from her boot. Noelle scratched it momentarily before it retreated back in.

“You’re still bringing Nyar everywhere?” asked Levi.

“He gets so lonely without mommy,” cooed Noelle. The wisp emerged again in response and entangled itself within her fingers. “Besides, he helps me de-stress. Do you complain when you see people walking their dogs?”

“Dogs aren’t anti-magic alien dark matter masquerading as a cat.”

“Fine!” she said with an emphatic harumph.

Oh geez, he might’ve actually made her angry there.

“Speaking of stress,” he began, desperate to steer the conversation off its current trajectory, “you look like you’ve been through the wringer today.”

“Ugh! I know!” she yelled a little too loudly. “It’s all of these damn summer couples. Everywhere I go there’s stupid kids dressed in low cut tops and booty shorts flirting all over the damn place. Have some propriety!”

“You’re the same age as them!”

“Yes, but I have standards. All of these floozies flaunting their T&A all over the place are disgusting! There are much classier things for a woman to show off!”

“That being?”

“Why don’t you tell me what you like the most, Levi? Be brave.”

Levi held his tongue for a moment. This was a test, he was sure of it. Fate had presented him a branching path, and depending on his choice he would live to see tomorrow or die a horrible death. He knew he couldn’t answer with the obvious choices because it would refocus Noelle’s ire onto him, but being too offbeat with his answer would just demonstrate he was bullshitting.

It was a dilemma every man faced at least once in his life, and one that he had encountered on the battlefield many times. It was because of this that Levi knew what it was he had to do.

When your back was against the wall, only the truth would suffice.

“The curve of the back and the shoulder blades,” he answered, voice filled with confidence. “There’s nothing better than looking at a nice pair of shoulder blades, it’s like gazing at a perfectly sculpted marble statue. So many people don’t take care of their bodies and try to hide it, but the shoulder blades always give it away. It’s like a guiding light for us men.”

“I feel the same about the neck and the collarbone,” answered Noelle as she unbuttoned the top of her uniform to fan herself.

She felt the same! That meant he’d survived! Yahoo! Thank you shoulder blades!

Relieved, he looked down at Noelle, confident he could meet her gaze. He had passed the test. There was nothing left for him to fear.

She had undone the top few buttons of her uniform, exposing the upper portion of her torso in the process. A crystal of sweat gleamed in the setting sun as it streaked down her neck. Crawling down her defined muscles, it pooled in her sternal head, perfectly drawing attention to the shadows caused by her collarbone in the fading light.

Yeah, the neck wasn’t too bad either.

His eyes traveled back up to her face, only to be met with a smug grin. Nyar had fully emerged as well and was staring at him (as well as Nyar could with no discernable eyes) silently.

Levi put his face in his hands. He’d been played! Of course it had all been a setup by Noelle, and he’d taken it hook, line, and sinker!

“Man is truly a beast not deserving of pity,” she taunted as she continued to smile at him. “Though when it comes to you, I actually feel bad. Why is that?”

“Because I have the innocent heart of a young boy?” Levi asked tentatively.

“Actually it’s because I view you as totally gormless worm shit,” said Noelle, her smile warping into a foul grimace. “I can’t blame a brainless animal for falling victim to its biology, can I?”

Another dig from her. Levi had gotten used to Noelle’s uniquely belligerent manner of self-expression over the last few months, but it still caught him off guard sometimes. He sighed as her frown went back to an amused smile. Even though she was a harsh mistress you could see through her bluster to find the playfulness laying underneath once you knew her well enough.

Noelle was dangerously endearing sometimes, he’d have to be careful around her lest he lose his head.

“Anyways, about Lorelei,” she started, changing the subject, “you should invite that kid along this weekend. Derek? The one who goes through all the bliff mags.”

“That slang isn’t even from this country!” Yeah, she was endearing alright. “Besides, the kid doesn’t know anything about magic. Did you forget Talise is taking us part of the way with the ley lines?”

“Then wipe his short term memory. Are you already forgetting you said Emily could come? What’s the issue with one more person?”

“Why are you so set on this?”

“Because Lorelei gets along with him, even if she won’t admit it. I doubt she wants to hang out with the adults the entire time. Besides…”

Noelle trailed off, looking reluctant to speak again.

“Besides what?” asked Levi.

Noelle grumbled under her breath before continuing. “Emily let slip about the trip when she bumped into my parents. They rented a huge cabin for everyone and all that. The trip’s been hijacked, sorry.”

If Noelle was apologizing then it was serious. Levi hadn’t met Noelle’s parents but the stories were enough. He pinched the bridge of his nose in anticipation.

A camping trip from hell was right around the corner.