《Divine Macabre: The Philosopher》The Deity of Wishes (Part 5)
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Edward ran straight ahead, just ran. He didn't know what to do, he felt hopeless, and guilty. After a few minutes of pointless running, he stopped somewhere in them middle of an empty space, far away from any home. He leaned against some lonely tree and gritted his teeth out of rage. He was furious at himself.
‘Can I really never truly help him?’ he thought. ‘No matter how many times I chase away the thieves, they come back anyway. No matter how many times... whatever I try, he still blames himself... For what? Why couldn't they just invent this fucking medicine and be happy? Why... nobody could? And now... he even hurt himself like that... And I couldn't do anything about it... I can't do anything about it... I can't spare him the pain...’
‘There is always a way, Edward of Rebellar. But is your faith in it strong enough?’
Ed was paralyzed. He felt a mysterious, heavy and dark aura in the air, so strong that it made him suffocate. He didn't know who was talking to him. He started to look around nervously.
“Who is here?!” He shouted.
‘Oh, you people... You always have to yell "who's there?" when someone appears?’ The voice giggled. ‘Edward, I know your thoughts. Surely who I actually am does not agree with your image of the world.’
“So who are you?” he asked warily and looked around again.
‘Interpret me as you wish; a devil, a deity, a god, a magician, or perhaps a hallucination. To be honest, I don't care much about what you call me.’
“God...?” At that moment, the golden-haired man remembered the Followers of the Light and their legends. He smiled, but his eyes showed that he was terrified. “You must be joking. You really think I'm going to believe that?”
‘I told you, I don't care what you think or believe. I came to you with a proposal.’
“About what? Listen to me, you're probably someone from some shitty sun god cult, who's trying to prove the devil's returning and his faith. Am I wrong?”
‘What?’ He laughed with a disgusting voice. ‘Doubting mortals will always find an explanation for everything. You despise religions, I know that, and I know why. That's why I chose you, because you are an extremely interesting person.’
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“So why don't you tell me who the fuck you are?” He was more and more upset.
‘But I have already said: the Followers of the Light think I am the devil who fulfils the wishes with my dark powers, others think I am the great spirit who can make the most secret dreams come true, and you think I am... some shithead who tries to prove that the faith of light is real.’ He giggled. ‘Do you see how many interpretations there are?’
“No...” Edward started shaking his head.
‘Is it possible that I just ruined your worldview? I'm sorry, really. I could leave you in that sweet, contemptuous illusion that there are no gods. In fact, I will not tell you whether there is a god or not. I exist, but do I have to be a god? So can god exist then? Philosopher, you've probably thought about it.’
“Stop playing with me!”
‘Oh, I think I've just messed a bit too much with your head. To be honest with you, you're one of the most interesting creatures I've ever met. So, I came to you with a proposition: would you like to play a game?’
“A game?” he asked seriously. “The fulfilment of a wish? I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in such a thing. I don't have any dreams, I don't need them. And I won't trust some shitty ‘god’ that came out of nowhere.”
‘Geez, you know what? You could at least have a little more respect for me, since I'm above you all. But what do I expect from a “I hate everything” type of atheist? Edward, are you sure that you don't have any wishes? Maybe your wish would be... the happiness of your brother, whom you cannot protect?’
Ed took a deep breath in concern. He couldn't answer at all. The following thoughts were tangling up in his head: ‘How does he know?’, ‘Is this really a god?’, ‘It's impossible, he doesn't exist...’
‘How do I know? Am I really a god? It's impossible that I exist?’ He repeated his thoughts. ‘Edward, I do exist! If I didn't exist, I wouldn't be here. After all, philosophy doesn't allow the existence of something that doesn't exist, does it? It's irrational. But you still haven't answered me, are you so sure you don't have any wishes?’
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“Are you really not joking...?” he asked, in an empty-sounding voice, even though he was terrified.
‘The proof was that I could hear your thoughts. Unlike you people, I don't lie. At best I can ignore the question, or answer it unclearly, but I will answer your question with the utmost sincerity: I’m not joking. Think about it, wouldn't you like to give your brother something that really can heal Hemasitus? Wouldn't you like his friend's sacrifice not to have been in vain? Wouldn't you like to help him?’
“So I understand that if you were to give it to me... I would have to join this ‘game’.”
‘Indeed. After all, there's nothing for free, and don't think you’re the only one I chose. There are many interesting souls on this globe, whose hearts hide beautiful and dark dreams. And like every game, this one also has rules. You will have to get something that will entitle you to make a wish.’
“Entitle? Isn't it enough that you chose me? “
‘It is not, it would be too easy. Each of you will have to find at least one of my seals, of which there is a total of twelve. Once you have one, you must fight to keep it.’
“And then?”
‘Those who have managed to keep the seals will be summoned to one place, where a decisive battle will be fought over who will make a wish. All in all, I won't tell you the details, because it would be, of course, too easy. You will have to find out the rest yourself. In this world, it is not only you and the other chosen ones, who know that. There are people who have been preparing for my arrival for years, there are also people who control the course of the whole game. Find them, and they will certainly help you.’
“It sounds like an idiotic game from some kids’ story...”
‘See, this is an idiotic game from some kids’ story.’ He laughed. ‘So how about it, Edward of Rebellar? Do you want to give your brother what he was looking for with the late Ian Visivio Jenkins? You would also have a chance to meet your friend.’
“Mateo...”
‘Exactly, that Matevigo. I've made assaulted your poor brain so much that you probably can’t think straight now. It's not like I feel bad about it. But if you're confused, I should leave you alone to put it all in order. But hurry up with your decision, you have time until the next evening. Think carefully - will your disbelief in my existence win, or will you want to free your brother from the pain of being a hopeless pile of meat? Choose wisely, Edward. Your enemies do not sleep.’
The voice became silent and the heavy atmosphere began to fade. Ed grabbed his head with his hands, and laughed. He laughed at what had just happened.
“Wonderful... Really... Wonderful!” He laughed at himself. “God exists...” He burst out laughing. “WHAT AN IDIOTIC THING TO SAY! WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE IN, EH? WHAT IS THE TRUTH?!” He was shouting at the sky as if he was expecting an answer. But he didn't get it.
He started walking back. He tried to arrange all of this in a logical way in his head, but he could not. It was true that his lack of faith came from disgust and contempt. He despised religions, he also despised the Followers of the Light ... but now he did not know what to think. He experienced something that wasn't normal, wasn't explainable... His views slowly broke apart under what had happened a few minutes ago. He walked and thought, thought and thought... because that was the only thing he could do now.
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