《I Accidentally Stole a God》Don't Disappoint Me
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Imperial Scholar Shi put down his pen and rubbed his eyes. The flickering lamplight that had accompanied him through many winter years illuminated the wrinkles upon his face. Despite the weariness of age, the old scholar's eyes shone with life as he looked down at the words he had just now written in the margins of the ancient tome that sat on his desk.
"Perhaps with this…" he mumbled to himself absentmindedly.
Looking out his window, he saw ash falling upon the bluegrass hundreds of meters below his residence.
"Three lives wasn't enough."
His voice was barely audible as he slumped back in his chair and exhaled his final breath. Shortly thereafter, a young man entered the room, holding a slip of paper.
When he walked into the room, however, there wasn't a body in the chair of Imperial Scholar Shi. All that remained as proof of his existence was a silver-lined book that sat closed on his desk, as well as a similarly silver needle that laid on top of it.
The sound of crumpling paper disturbed the eerily silent room for a moment before the peace returned once more, lingering even as the man closed the door behind him, book and needle in hand.
~~~~~~~~~~
In Zhongtian City, a fifteen year old boy sat atop a high cobblestone wall. He gazed out upon the bustling Zhongtian City market, which was filled to the brim with peddlers, customers, rich young scions, young abandoned beggars and hustlers.
With the wind blowing through his hair, and an enlightened look in his eyes, the boy seemed to have a refined, worldly aura. An aura that was quickly destroyed by the sound of his grumbling stomach.
An obligatory pat of his wallet pouch informed the youth that he remained dirt poor, as he had been when he'd woken up that morning.
"I suppose it's time I get going then…"
The youth climbed down from the wall with practiced speed before making his way into the marketplace, assaulted by the warmth of hundreds of bodies packed in the tight streets. Fortunately for him, small in stature, even for his age, he found it easy to move through the crowd that others would feel stifled by.
Of course, he didn't stop himself from grabbing a few coin purses while he was at it. Unfortunately, most of the rich targets wouldn't come by until later. Early in the morning, he was only able to snatch enough to fill his stomach for the day.
It was in this fashion that he killed time. Wandering around, stealing anything that caught his eye.
So far, he felt his day was going nicely.
Soon, he found himself standing in front of a stall that sold medicine.
As a thief, even a skilled one, it was nothing uncommon to get injured while making a getaway. Because of that, if he ever made extra money he had made it a habit to prepare ahead of time and buy medicine.
Scanning through the store's wares, the youth didn't bother to linger his gaze on the medicinal pills for sale. They would without a doubt be too expensive.
There were, however, some poultices and ointments that were in his price range.
When the shopkeeper noticed the boy browsing, his eyes narrowed.
"What's your name, kid?"
"Ah, right... What should my name be today?" the youth muttered almost inaudibly.
"What was that?"
"Nothing, nothing," the youth gave a charming smile as he looked up. "Call me Song Yi."
"Little Song, then, what are you buying medicine for?"
"My master asked that I buy some for the household."
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Song Yi had been through this before. He was often questioned when he went to buy things. After all, the markets always had many thieves afoot, and shopkeepers were a sly bunch.
Often times they even had guards hiding to catch any customers with happy hands. Some merchants even chose to chop such hands off, and display them outside their stores as a warning.
"Well then, are you going to buy any?" The merchant's face softened, assured by this Little Song's unassuming face.
Song Yi bought a variety of bandage wraps and ointments, placing them in a coarse brown sack he kept tied to his waistbelt.
"Please come again," the man said as Song Yi turned and left.
~~~~~~~~~~
It wasn't long before night fell.
Now, the real fun could begin.
That was because, at night, the young scions and alcohol-laden married men were coming out of the woodworks for entertainment.
Absentmindedly, Song Yi rubbed his fingers on his palm, but that couldn't cease their itching.
With a grin, he set off in the direction of the pleasure quarters. A combination of intoxication and lust made for a relaxed vigilance, which made it the ideal spot to liberate some coin.
As he expected, there were plenty of boisterous men whom he couldn't help but think were begging to be robbed.
But today, there was something else that caught his eye.
It wasn't one of the usual drunkards, but instead a tall mountain of a man with a thick, black beard.
The man, under normal circumstances, must have looked intimidating, but at the moment it was clear that he was trying to act inconspicuously, which instead resulted in an almost comical appearance.
He wore peasant's clothing, with a dark cape to cover most of his body. To anyone who looked, though, it was obvious from the way the man held himself that he was not a peasant.
The man only had a small bag hanging from his waist, clearly not holding many coins.
But still, Song Yi couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to this man, and that this was an opportunity. Besides, even if he were wrong, it was only a single day wasted.
Without further deliberation, he quietly followed the hulking figure.
Man and shadow, the two left the market's south gate and, after walking down a few alleys, ended up at an old and broken down inn.
After looking around to make sure nobody was observing him, though not noticing Song Yi hidden nearby, the bearded man dipped into the inn. Song Yi hesitated outside until he saw, through a window, the man on the second floor of the inn, walking into a room.
Circling around the side of the inn, Song Yi found another window on the same floor, which he promptly climbed up and into.
Taking care not to make noise, he walked to where the bearded man's room was, and knocked on the door of the adjacent room. When he received no response, he opened the door and entered.
He heard low voices coming from the bearded man's room, though the words were indiscernible. Moving to peek through a crack in the wooden plank wall, he managed to make out what they were saying. He controlled his breath carefully, trying to keep quiet.
Through the crack could be seen the solemn faces of three men. They all wore clothes similar to the bearded man. A fourth voice, the body of which Song Yi couldn't see, spoke.
"What's the need for all the secrecy?"
"You don't need to worry yourself about it. It's the empire's problem."
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"Fine then. Tell me the origins of this book."
The person speaking was not in Song Yi's vision, but the tone of voice sounded both youthful and arrogant.
"There is not much we can tell you, other than that this book has travelled a long, long way to arrive here. Naturally, our imperial scholars have tried to determine the origin, but all have met with failure."
"Why is it being gifted to me?"
"There was a note that travelled with the book somehow. Despite being written on seemingly ordinary paper, the note has survived for what we believe to be 500 years."
"Go on."
"The note said that the book was to be given to only the most talented disciple in the land."
After hearing those domineering words, the young man continued unabashed.
"And the needle?"
"It appears to be an ordinary needle, regardless of what method we used to study it. However, considering that it came with the book, we believe it to hold secrets that we are too weak to discover."
"How pointless," the youth muttered indifferently. "I can't say I'm particularly interested in this thing, but I'll take it regardless."
"The gifting ceremony will be held tomorrow in the town square, and the Emperor will hand this to you personally. We'll keep it until then for safekeeping."
Song Yi could no longer control his breathing. He quickly slipped out of the room and exited by the window he came in.
"He may not be interested… but I am." Song Yi felt his mouth water as he thought of all the meals he'd be able to buy if he could pawn off that treasure. Perhaps he could even buy a permanent residence.
After all, if it was related to the Emperor, and was as mysterious as they said, the book must be worth a fortune.
Though he knew it would be more dangerous than his usual antics, he firmly felt that the reward outweighed the risk.
He looped around the dilapidated inn just in time to watch a tall dark-robed figure leave. At a glance, he recognized him as the youth who he hadn't been able to see before from his hiding place.
After the youth could no longer be seen, Song Yi dropped himself face down on a pile of trash that the inn had thrown out in the side alley, tilting his head just enough to see the inn entrance.
Another half hour of waiting passed, the sun now hanging high in the sky. His patience paid off, however, when he saw three men walk out of the inn. One old, one middle-aged and one young. The middle-aged, bearded man was the one Song Yi had followed to this inn earlier, while the other two were the other figures he had been able to see before.
From what Song Yi could tell, the old man was most likely an imperial scholar, while the bearded and young man were a master-apprentice duo. Most likely a high-ranking duo at that.
The bearded man had a second inconspicuous sack hanging from his waist-belt, in addition to the small money-pouch from before. Naturally, Song Yi noticed this change.
"That must be where the book is."
The trio began to walk in the direction where Song Yi was hiding, taking care not to draw too much attention to themselves.
Song Yi wasn't sure why high-ranking officials would take such precautions in the streets of Zhongtian City. After all, few would be brazen enough to rob these people, let alone in broad daylight.
Of course, Song Yi considered himself to be among those 'few.'
He rolled himself off the trash pile into the middle of the road, falling right at the feet of the trio. Just as he'd hoped, the three stopped, preparing to walk around him. Song Yi faked an attempt to stand up shakily, impeccably imitated a drunk who had slept until noon. Halfway through his attempt, he suddenly fell into the bearded man, who glared at him with disgust.
The man shoved Song Yi back to the ground "Begone curr."
"Apologies, Lord," Song Yi blubbered, prostrating himself.
What the trio didn't notice, however, was hidden on the ground beneath his torso was the unassuming brown sack that had been on the bearded man's waist only a moment ago.
As they walked past the grovelling Song Yi, the young apprentice of the bearded man spat at Song Yi, the saliva landing on his hand. With a pathetic smile, he pushed his forehead to the ground once more.
After the three men passed him, he wiped the back of his hand on the ground and stood up to walk the other direction, the sack in his other hand. Before he walked even ten paces, however, a blood-chilling voice called out.
"Wait right there!"
Without pause, Song Yi broke into a dead sprint towards his home, the marketplace.
"Thief!" the bearded man screamed, rushing in pursuit of Song Yi. "Chen Fu, go mobilize the district guards to catch that man!" he said his young apprentice.
They hadn't been far from the marketplace in the first place, but the bearded man behind Song Yi was twice his size. With every footfall that slammed into the ground, he grew ever closer.
"Return that sack right now!" he cried, clearly no longer bothered about making a scene.
It wasn't long before Song Yi reached the crowded market district, but even as he did more and more shouts could be heard as the bearded man encountered city guards who he ordered to help.
Without delay, Song Yi began to blend into the crowd. Contrary to his expectations, however, the guards hardly bothered to avoid running straight into innocent shoppers who happened to be in their way.
If Song Yi were like a fish in the sea of the crowd, the guards were like rhinoceros who violently shoved the water aside.
"You dare steal from Zhongtian Empire! Your head will be on a spike by dawn!"
More rage-filled cries fell upon deaf ears as Song Yi continued to weave through the crowds with feline dexterity.
The stones in the pavement below were a blur as he desperately searched for a route of escape. Some quick-witted bystanders, upon hearing the incensed calls of the Empire forces, attempted to grasp at Song Yi but, thanks to his short stature and incredible speed, most of them failed to grasp at even his clothing.
Soon, however, more armed guards poured out of side streets and into the marketplace. And as they did, more of the crowd became aware of what was happening.
Song Yi found his potential routes of escape becoming smaller and smaller, and on a few occasions was almost grasped by nearby citizens.
With ragged breath, this continued until he realized that he could no longer see a way out. The thunderous footsteps of the small army of pursuers drew ever closer.
"I never expected to die like this."
When Song Yi looked in his heart at that moment, he found only emptiness. He didn't even feel fear in the moment of his imminent demise, only regret.
He didn't regret stealing and hustling to survive as he had for so long. He didn't even regret stealing the book. What he regretted was that, in his final moments, there was nobody that came to mind. Not a single connection that tied him to this world.
"It seems my death will go just as unnoticed as my life." This was the thought that pervaded his sensibilities at that moment.
He began to slow down, having pushed his body long past its limit. The inside of his mouth was dry with the taste of bile. But then...
"Unacceptable!" His mind screamed.
He didn't know why he suddenly felt this way.
"Unacceptable!" Once more the passionate cry came, but this time he shouted the word aloud.
"What's unacceptable is that you've evaded for so long! This is the end of the line!" A gruff voice came from behind Song Yi, so close that he could feel the man's breath on the back of his neck.
"I will not die as an animal!" Song Yi roared with all his might.
He was young, he was naive, but more importantly, he was human! He himself did not know why, perhaps it was on principle alone, but he possessed an unshakable conviction now. This was the place where he had spent his life, but it was not where it would end.
His eyes snapped to attention once more as his feet picked up speed with renewed vigour. In a moment, he'd put distance between himself and the furious army once more.
His conviction wouldn't matter, though, if he couldn't escape.
When he reached the north end of the market, what greeted him was a wall of bodies, swords held at the ready. The citizens nearby had been shuffled off to the sides, packed in tightly, where they watched with fearful eyes.
There was no longer anywhere for Song Yi to hide. Behind him was an unstoppable force, and in front was an immovable wall. Yet he did not despair.
"If I say I will live, then what right do you lot have to kill me?!" he madly proclaimed with bloodshot eyes, sprinting even faster than before straight towards the swordsmen before him.
A few of the men forming the barricade chuckled, while others stared in amazement at the insane youth that rushed them. Regardless of their reactions, all of them lifted their weapons.
It was mere moments before Song Yi found himself within range of the human wall, and he pulled back his right arm to punch out at the man before him.
Just before he could swing, the man in front of him stepped forward as well, raising his sword.
But just as the man attacked, he promptly tripped face first into the ground.
The eyes of his comrades nearby went wide with shock.
The bystanders cried out in disbelief.
The army on the other side had already stopped in their tracks, not wanting to crash into their comrades. They, too, wore expressions of confused rage.
Not waiting for any of them to come to their senses, Song Yi lept over the fallen soldier and rushed through the tiny gap that had just been made, breaking out to the other side.
During the altercation, what nobody present noticed, was a single cobblestone behind the fallen soldier that jutted out of the ground a few centimetres, sinking back down into place shortly after Song Yi's escape.
Of course, the men didn't stop chasing Song Yi simply because he'd broken their encirclement. If anything, they were more enraged than before.
Song Yi continued to run desperately for another kilometre before he finally saw another large crowd of people. Without a second thought, he ran straight into the throng.
In no mood to loiter, he maneuvered his way to the front of the group, where he saw a man who looked to be in his early twenties sitting behind an ornate table that hosted a long scroll.
"Name?" The man asked without bothering to look up.
Song Yi had no idea what was going on, but to leave this group of people meant certain death. He could already hear soldiers trying to muscle their way in on the fringes, as well as the dismay of those they pushed.
After a short moment, he answered the man honestly. Of course, he used the name he'd come up with that morning. He didn't know his true name.
"Age?" The next question came after the man wrote down Song Yi's name.
"Fifteen."
The man continued to record the data.
"Have you applied to any other schools before?"
Not knowing what he meant, Song Yi replied with a simple no.
"Follow the path behind me through the gate until you come to a courtyard. Wait there patiently," came the emotionless instructions.
Song Yi looked behind the man properly for the first time, seeing the ornate iron gate that contained behind it extended fields of lush green grass and colourful flowers, with a white stone path leading up over a hill, where it could be seen no more. The gate had a sign at the top that read: Discipline, Diligence, Decisiveness.
This had been his destination since escaping the marketplace.
With a deep breath, he passed through the gate.
The entire time, the man had never bothered to look up at the dishevelled state that Song Yi was in. However, those in the crowd did.
"Who is that kid?"
"Why does he look so beat up?"
"Where did he come from?"
Soon, the soldiers who had been chasing made their way to the man at the desk.
"Where did he go?!" one of them barked.
"Where did who go?!" the man replied, sounding bored.
"Short kid, looked half dead."
When the soldier said that, the crowd immediately understood. Some spoke up and explained.
Immediately, the soldier began to run in Song Yi's direction once more. Just before he could pass through the gate, the man called out from behind him, looking up for the first time.
"Those who pass through the Gate of Virtues without permission will die." His voice, just as before, contained no hint of emotion. His words seemed to him to be natural, a matter of fact.
To the soldier, though, those words were nothing more than a joke. After all, he had dozens of people behind him.
What was more, he had been ordered by his lord, the highest military authority in Zhongtian before the Emperor himself, to kill the thief.
He was familiar with this gate and knew that, under normal circumstances, he should never enter. But, given his current backing, he didn't hesitate before stepping through the gate. He wore a cocky grin as he glanced back at the man who had just spoken, only to see him looking away once more.
Furthermore, he saw looks of horror on the faces of his comrades behind him.
That was the last thing he saw before his head fell off his shoulders, meeting the ground with a dull thunk.
After recovering from the shock of seeing their comrade cut down with such incredible speed and efficacy, one of the other soldiers, much more respectful now, bowed towards the man who was once again looking down at his scroll waiting for another youth to come up.
"Elder brother, please pardon me, but we have orders from Grand-General Wang to apprehend and execute that boy."
"Oh, is that all?" The man yawned. "Well, even if your Emperor himself showed up he would not be allowed through this gate without permission. That said, if that boy entered here only to evade you lot, he will most certainly be back out within two days, no more than three. You may do what you like then."
~~~~~~~~~~
Unseen by any of the people present, even the man behind the desk, a black-robed figure sat on a rooftop overseeing the crowd and gardens behind.
"Song Yi, eh?" the figure chuckled.
"I hope you won't disappoint me…"
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