The convention crowd started to thin out as Liam made his way towards the screening room. Clearly the Sparklefang crowd wasn’t as interested in this part of the convention, and so it felt more like the convention had in previous years when there wasn’t some mega pop culture event to draw people in.

It was enough to make him feel sad. There was nothing wrong with new people coming to a convention. He didn’t begrudge the Sparklefang people coming out to see their favorite actor.

At the same time, he’d seen how the vibe had changed at other conventions that’d decided they didn’t want to be a hole in the wall that catered to a niche fanbase anymore, and it usually resulted in a change to the whole convention and its culture.

He knew it wouldn’t be all that noticeable in the first couple of years. People would still meet the same friends they saw every year and the same traditions and parties would happen, but slowly and surely that old guard with their traditions would be pushed out or pushed aside by the larger crowds creating their own new traditions.

Liam couldn’t help but feel that the moment the convention organizers saw the kind of money they could make by inviting a big name star like Jacob Grey and getting people to come out in droves would be the moment the old convention they’d known and loved for so many years would be dead and gone. If anything that made him want to enjoy this all the more this year while he could still see the old convention before it’d merged with the new.

“You’re acting like a gatekeeping idiot,” he muttered.

“What gate would you be keeping? I don’t see any around here.”

Liam jumped, and whirled to face the source of that voice. His interest was immediately piqued. There was something about that voice that sounded… Inviting was the word that came to mind. Though he wasn’t sure that was entirely correct. No, she was…

Beautiful.

“It’s you,” he said.

“I’m me,” she said. Then she leaned forward and said something very odd. “You can see me?”

He looked her up and down. Took in her muscular tight stomach. He thought he could see the faintest outline of abs there. The two blasters at her side. The impossibly tight shorts that barely covered her. The tight crop top. The mess of curly red hair. The piercing green eyes, and…

Well, Liam figured he was getting away from himself in the manner of an author who was describing a woman with only one hand, or maybe with a piece of dictation software that meant no hands were needed at all.

“Who are you?” he asked.

She frowned and looked away. She seemed more upset by that question than he figured anyone had any right to be.

“I’m sorry,” he said, holding his hands up. “I didn’t mean to pry into your business.”

“That’s the problem,” she said. “I don’t know who I am.”

Liam blinked. And then it occurred to him what was going on here. He was talking to a cosplayer who was a little too into the role she was playing.

“Let me guess, you have a case of temporary amnesia brought on by an encounter with the vampire vixens from Planet X?”

Her reaction was immediate, pulling her guns faster than he would’ve thought possible, and it might’ve been unsettling if he thought she was wielding real weapons and not a couple of toy props that were inert except for the LED lights she’d somehow managed to squeeze in there.

Which, admittedly, was impressive. Not as impressive as her dedication hitting the gym to make sure she looked the part, but impressive nonetheless.

She pointed her blasters all around, scanning in a circle looking for a threat.

“Where are they? You know about them on this world?”

She turned back around and the guns were pointed straight at Liam. He went cross eyed, noting the glowing tips on the things.

“Whoa,” he said, leaning in close to inspect the blasters. “That’s impressive. And is that a sound effect you have going?”

He put his ear close to the tip, and it seemed to be making a cute ominous humming noise. The things looked way more impressive than any of the props they had on the old Vampire Vixens movie. He’d seen the real things here and there at various conventions.

He shook his head and laughed. “It’s amazing what props can do with LED technology and miniaturized speakers these days, right?”

He looked to the woman. She’d cocked her head to the side and stared at him like he’d suddenly grown a second head.

“Such bravery,” she whispered.

He laughed. “Yeah, bravery.”

Though she was still pointing those guns at him. Which made him a touch uncomfortable even though he knew they were nothing more than hunks of plastic, or maybe something exotic like fiberglass, and not actual guns. He reached out and brushed a finger against one, and jumped as he realized it was warm to the touch.

“It feels like your lighting kit is heating things up a bit,” he said. “You need to be careful with that. I know a guy who once had his proton pack catch fire because he was using 9V batteries to power the thing and it turns out you shouldn’t keep a couple of those in your flight suit pocket at the same time.”

She looked even more curious now. “Proton pack? Is that some sort of exotic weapon on your world?”

“Only if you’re fighting a real nasty focused, non-terminal, repeating phantasm class V full roaming vapor.”

“Nothing you’re saying is making any sense,” she said.

“I guess we’re even then,” he said.

She glanced around. “What is this place?”

He glanced around as well.

“Come on,” he said. “You’re here at the convention with the rest of us. Why don’t you drop the cosplay routine? We could just chat?”

“Convention. I see. I would have you humor me. Pretend I don’t know anything about this world and the convention you speak of?”

Liam sighed. On the one hand it was always annoying to run into a cosplayer who thought they were the character, though he had to admit she was a better actress than most he’d seen. On the other hand she was pretty enough that he was willing to forgive a lot of eccentricity.

“This is what we call a convention here on earth,” he said. “A place where people gather to talk about things they like.”

Her face screwed up in confusion. “And you like the vampire vixens on your world? Is their propaganda so weaved into your world?”

“I mean it was a pretty fun movie back in the day,” Liam said. “Obviously you agree since you’re dressed like one of the smugglers from near the end.”

She looked down at her outfit, and then back up to him.

“Or are you just a model who was hired to do a part for the weekend?” he asked.

It wouldn’t be the first time a convention hired a model to dress up like something geeky when she wasn’t actually interested in any of it. Though he doubted that, considering how good she was at acting the part.

“I am in great danger,” she said.

He frowned. “You are? Like are they not going to pay you or something if you break character? I’d figure with all the money they’re making from the Sparklefang stuff they’d have plenty of cash floating around.”

“I can’t tell you any more,” she said. “Just that I’m in great danger. I feel a bond with you. You must come and…”

And then something happened that really had Liam wondering if he was losing it, or if he was being used as a guinea pig for some new piece of technology. She seemed to glitch and pixelate, suddenly looking worried, and then those pixels melted away and exploded in a shower of light dust.

Liam stood there staring and looking around. There had to be a projector somewhere that had created that effect.

“Okay, very funny. Who’s fucking with me? Is this some new hologram technology or something?”

He tried to push down on the unsettling feeling in his gut that everything he’d just seen was all too real.

Which was impossible. He’d never seen hologram technology work like that without being on stage. If there was a holographic technology like that out there in the world he seriously doubted it would be in use at a small convention like this. He didn’t care how much money they were getting from the Sparklefang people.

When he didn’t see any obvious projector, and no one came out to tell him he was on a prank show, he looked around nervously one final time and figured it was time to get the hell out of there.

“You must come find me…”

The voice drifted through his head, and he shook it. Was he losing it?

Because he knew there was an alternative to the prank theory. It was possible his brain thought it was all real, but it was still all in his head. Which was an even more unsettling thought.

He’d heard of people who started to hallucinate and hear voices, and he’d also read that it usually started in the early to mid twenties for dudes, which was right where he was.

Which wasn’t the kind of thing he needed to be worried about when he was trying to enjoy himself at a convention, dammit.

No. It had to be a hologram or something. He wasn’t hearing voices in his head, and women didn’t magically appear and disappear in splashes of holographic light.

He wasn’t sure how they pulled it off, but he also wasn’t going to stick around long enough to find out and wind up on some stupid reality show. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d heard about some assholes doing something like that at a con, though usually those videos involved someone in a really impressive costume doing a jump scare.

So he booked it to the hall where they were holding the Vampire Vixens retrospective.

It didn’t look promising when he got there. There were a couple of booths advertising the stars complete with pictures from back when they were in their prime and now, showing that the years had been hard on a few of them and kind to others. Either way, in every case they were a lot older and more wrinkled and a far cry from the forever young Hollywood hotties who’d starred in that cult movie once upon a time in between their jobs waiting tables in LA.

None of those booths held any stars at the moment. Liam figured it was too early in the day for them to make appearances. It was also possible some of them were only appearing on the weekend and hadn’t even flown in yet, which was pretty typical.

It wasn’t uncommon for the “talent” to breeze into a regional convention, make an appearance for a few hours on a Saturday, make a few thousand dollars signing autographs, then peace out and be home in California by the end of the day.

Nice work if you could get it, even if it did involve being a washed up actor or actress who was mostly remembered for something they’d done decades prior.

Liam stared down at the program he stole from Rick. He wished he could see the look on Rick’s face when he realized it’d been stolen.

“Okay, so the screening room is…”

His face fell as he realized what the “screening room” actually was. He’d been in that room often enough for very small convention panels over the years, and the place wasn’t exactly a giant theater.

He looked up and saw the Vampire Vixens poster out front, the later variant from the DVD reissue and not the classic theater poster and VHS cover. Which seemed like a sacrilege at a convention honoring the memory of the movie.

That room was tiny. Like it barely had enough space to fit ten people. The “theater” was a bunch of metal folding chairs, no padding, and a digital projector attached to a laptop with a bored convention volunteer sitting there playing Skyrim on the big screen.

So much for the convention glorifying the memory of one of Liam’s favorite pieces of ‘80s schlock cinema.

“Um, is this the Vampire Vixens showing?” Liam asked.

The volunteer jumped and whirled around, which almost sent the laptop he’d been using to play the game on the “big screen” tumbling to the ground. The dude looked entirely too young to be a fan of Vampire Vixens From Planet X!, and Liam reminded himself he shouldn’t be a gatekeeping asshole.

“You’re here to see the movie?” the kid asked.

He sounded surprised someone would actually show up to watch the movie, and maybe a touch disappointed as well. Like he didn’t want to give up his prime gaming time on the projector.

Well that was tough shit, because his prime gaming spot was about to become Liam’s prime location for watching one of his favorite movies, dammit!

“Yes, I’m here to see the movie,” Liam said, arching an eyebrow. “Is there a problem with that?”

The dude licked his lips as he looked at Liam. He looked like he was sizing him up and trying to figure out whether or not it was worth potentially losing his volunteer status to tell Liam there was a problem with the projector, or whatever the hell lie he’d have to tell to get Liam out of his hair.

“You’re seriously here to see the movie? Like you actually want to watch this stupid vampire flick?”

He sounded like he couldn’t believe there was any world where someone would voluntarily watch Vampire Vixens From Planet X! Which insulted Liam, but he supposed this kid was young enough that he couldn’t appreciate the classics.

That or he was young enough that he came from a time when naked women were plentiful on the Internet and he didn’t have to resort to ‘80s schlock cinema to fuel his teenage hormones.

Hell, Liam came from that time too, but there was something about this movie he’d always connected with. Like he was connecting with his teenage hormone driven forebears by sneaking a VHS on an old forgotten TV in the basement.

“Yes, I’m here to see this movie. Is there going to be a problem with me being here to see this movie? Was this time reserved for watching the movie, or for you to play Skyrim?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to the Sparklefang Q&A?”

Liam rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry if I’m interrupting your gaming session, but that doesn’t change the fact that I want to see the movie. This is a classic of ‘80s trash cinema, and I need to see it up on that projector on time or I’m going to have some words for the people running this convention.”

Was he being a little pushy? Certainly. Did Liam think the guy deserved it with the way he was trying to get rid of him because he’d interrupted a gaming session? Definitely. This room was reserved for convention goers, and not for this dude to get his game on.

The volunteer looked down and muttered a couple of things under his breath that Liam knew he wouldn’t care for if he could hear them.

Which only added to the annoyance he already felt that they were having this screening in a tiny room with what looked like the cheapest projector possible. Like it was projecting in an ancient 4:3 aspect ratio, even, and looked like it’d been picked up thirdhand after doing time in several school systems with lower budgets who were still projecting PowerPoints from the ‘90s via a VGA cable because they couldn’t afford anything newer.

Not that he cared. This might be on a shitty projector being projected onto an even shittier screen, it looked like they were using a dry erase board that was normally reserved for corporate retreats considering there were still faint outlines of business speak the cleaners couldn’t erase entirely, but that didn’t change the fact that what he was getting here at the convention was a hell of a lot better than his “home entertainment center” in his apartment.

Which wasn’t much, considering all his money at home went into his gaming rig and equipment for livestreaming.

He moved into the room and took a seat, never breaking eye contact with the volunteer. The folding chairs were as comfortable as they looked, but he’d take it. It was better than standing, which is what he was pretty sure his friends were doing right about now.

The Sparklefang Q&A seemed like the kind of thing that would be standing room only.

“Um, so are you waiting on something?” he asked, looking around at the empty room.

“We’ve still got five minutes until the movie is supposed to start,” the guy said, smiling in a way that said he was enjoying being maliciously compliant.

Well then. Liam figured if this volunteer was going to be a prick then he could be a prick right back at him. The plain fact was he’d already won, and if this dude managed to chase him off then that’d be giving up the win. So he crossed his arms and leaned back.

“Take your time,” Liam said. “It’s not like I’m in any hurry to be anywhere.”

Liam glanced at his watch and then pointedly at the volunteer. The dude rolled his eyes, and Liam resolved that he was going to have a word with the convention organizers even if this asshole ended up showing the movie.

Finally the five minutes were up, and the dude double clicked on the movie player. The credits started to roll.

Liam grinned and pulled out a trail mix snack pouches he’d thrown together before coming to the convention.

Anyone who’d ever been to more than one convention knew to bring their own snacks. Otherwise they risked getting their bank account bent over and roughed up while the convention had its way with their debit card. The volunteer hit him with another annoyed look, but there wasn’t any rule about bringing in outside food and drink so this guy could go fuck himself.

The movie opened on a scene that was permanently etched into Liam’s brain. He could recite this part of the movie from memory. Actually he could recite the whole movie from memory, but this part stood out in particular.

“Are you sure it’s safe to be out here?” a cheerleader who was supposed to be a teenager but looked like she was at least forty said as she stared into the darkness.

“It’s perfectly safe!” the other cheerleader, also a “teenager” who looked like she could apply for an AARP card, said as she stared into the darkness.

Liam bit back his reflexive comment. He wanted to shout out “they’ll drop a safe on you!”

It didn’t make sense, even in context, but the audience participation commentaries were so full of in-jokes eating their own tail that most people had forgotten where or how they’d started at this point. He used to go to those screenings on the regular when he was still in college at a place where there was a critical mass of Vampire Vixens fans that made that sort of thing possible.

He’d figured if ever he was going to find a place again where people did the whole audience participation thing then it’d be at a convention where they were having a side convention dedicated to Vampire Vixens From Planet X! He could only hope there’d be bigger crowds later in the weekend. Fridays were usually slower, after all.

“I don’t know if we should be out here,” Cheerleader One said.

That’s how everyone always referred to her, because that was her name in the credits. The actress had gone on to do mostly forgettable roles in other B movies before having a far more illustrious career in some of the late-night offerings Cinemax put on the small screen back in the ‘90s after ten o’clock.

“It’s perfectly fine,” Vampire Cheerleader said. That was what everyone referred to her as, and how she was listed in the credits.

That was the big surprise in this scene. A surprise that’d been pulled off fully a decade before they did the same thing for the opener in the Buffy TV series. There were some who said Joss Whedon had been making a not-so-subtle nod to Vampire Vixens with that scene.

Assholes on the Internet, being assholes on the Internet, were a little less charitable in their interpretation of the scenes being so similar.

“Don’t you want to go meet the guys?” Vampire Cheerleader asked. “They’re waiting for us!”

“I don’t know,” Cheerleader One said, biting her lip. “What if we don’t need the guys to have fun?”

Vampire Cheerleader moved in on Cheerleader One. Liam rolled his eyes. This was shlock cinema of the lowest order. He knew the only reason they put a scene like this in was because it was an accepted law of shlock cinema in the ‘80s that girl on girl action put butts in seats.

Even if the scene starred cheerleaders who looked like they should be running the PTO bake sale for the high school rather than cheering for said high school’s team. It’s not like the filmmakers were striking a blow for equality when they shot this scene. It was strictly there for the male gaze, but it’d also been reappropriated and re-contextualized enough that it had become a campy piece of cinematic gay iconography over the decades.

Still, he felt a little embarrassed to be sitting here watching this scene. Videogame Dude was rolling his eyes and clearly annoyed that he was stuck running the projector for this. It was almost enough to make Liam want to get up and leave.

“Is this the screening of the Vampire Vixens movie?”

Liam turned towards that voice, and boy was the girl that voice was attached to a total knockout! She was also familiar. She wore an outfit that was a dead ringer for a Galactic Enforcer uniform from Vampire Vixens, only run through the lens of someone trying to do a gritty modern reboot of a classic B movie from the ‘80s.

He’d seen her out in the dealer hall when he was trying to pull Rick out of there, and thought they’d maybe had a moment he couldn’t capitalize on because he’d been too busy trying to get Rick the hell out of there before they all got kicked out.

She looked damn good in that formfitting outfit, and Liam found himself wondering if he could commit a Galactic level crime in the next couple of minutes that would have her dragging him back to a detention cell for a little bit of fun like what happened when the Galactic Enforcers did that sort of thing to the poor unsuspecting humans in the movie.

“Are you looking for Vampire Vixens From Planet X!?” the volunteer asked, suddenly sounding a lot more interested.

“Yes, that is the entertainment I’m looking for,” the girl said, smiling at the dude. Though there wasn’t the considering look there she’d given Liam when she locked eyes with him. “Is this the right room?”

“Totally,” the guy said, looking her up and down appreciatively. “Are you a fan?”

That got Liam’s hackles up. It annoyed him on a primal level that this guy would act annoyed about Vampire Vixens when Liam was trying to watch it, but suddenly the guy was a huge fan when there was a pretty girl in an amazing cosplay standing there acting interested.

“Thank you,” the enforcer said. “I’ll sit in the back and watch this entertainment from your world, if you don’t mind.”

Interesting. So she was another cosplayer who was in character all the time. Liam shrugged. Whatever floated her boat.

Though he did look around to see if there was any sort of hidden projector. Running into two women in incredibly accurate costumes who took those costumes a little too seriously had him thinking there really must be a reality show filming at the convention this weekend, and they’d decided to fuck with him in particular.

Though he didn’t see any obvious hidden high tech. Not to mention fancy new holographic technology seemed out of place considering the ancient projector they were using for this screening. Though he didn’t want to think about what that might mean.

“Oh I don’t mind at all,” the volunteer said, a goofy grin plastered on his face. “Would you like me to start it over from the beginning?”

“No, that won’t be necessary,” the enforcer said.

She didn’t seem to realize the dude was eye fucking her in a way that should’ve invited offense. Instead she hit him with a bland smile that didn’t quite connect with her eyes as she moved to sit in the back of the room.

Liam thought about going over to introduce himself. After all, he figured any woman coming to a screening of Vampire Vixens From Planet X! was a woman he wanted to get to know better.

But he didn’t. He worried that if he did go over and talk to this girl in the middle of a screening she might think he was a creeper the same as Videogame Dude. He figured she was probably getting all kinds of unwanted attention, and he didn’t want to be the kind of asshole who added to that burden.

Then she turned and smiled at him, and there was something so genuine about that smile where it hadn’t been genuine with Videogame Dude running the projector that it made Liam think again.

He turned around and tried to get his breathing under control. It wasn’t fair that a girl could look at him like that and twist his insides. Not to mention causing other parts of his anatomy to stand up and take notice.

He forced himself to calm the fuck down. He wasn’t going to be that guy, even if she did seem like she was smiling an invitation at him across a small dark convention screening room.

He had a movie to watch, and he wasn’t going to be the kind of jackass who bothered the pretty cosplayer who was trying to do the same thing. No matter how much he wanted to ask her who her favorite character was, or why she thought this movie was so much better than Sparklefang.

Great. Watching one of his favorite guilty pleasure movies had just become an exercise in pure torture.