《New Eden》Chapter 36
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Lili still hadn’t said much by the time she had finished helping Ian to his bed which, like all of theirs, was really just layers of feather-lined animal skins in an attempt at something more comfortable, and warm, than just tossing one of the blankets they had brought with them upon the floor. Instead of heading away again once Ian was seated, Lili just sat there next to him, her silence continuing as she stared blankly at some random spot on the floor of the shack.
“You mean you’re not going out there to comfort them after I had less than pleasant words for them?” Ian finally asked upon realizing that she didn’t seem to be in much of a rush to leave her own seat.
“My mind is doing enough to fill in the details of his vision. Not sure I really want to hear any more of them.” she sniffed slightly, though still didn’t turn to him as she spoke.
“You mean you’re also not gonna try and convince me I was too hard on them, after all?” Ian asked, though quietly, his own eyes staying on her, despite her continued downwards gaze.
Lili just sighed heavily before trying to find an honest response, “I don’t know. I guess, I just think that if I had any kind of power, or anything, I’d surely want to use it to help us find any way to cope with this whole situation, at all.” she admitted quietly, “But then I suppose that’s easy to say when it’s never going to be a decision I’ll actually have to make, myself.” she finished sadly.
Ian narrowed his eyes a bit as he reached up to gently touch her shoulder from his seat next to her atop the bedding, “We were pretty much convinced that the people we left behind were…gone,” he decided on, “so hearing about the crash can’t be all that has you this upset.”
She just scoffed as she shook her head, “Considering what you said this morning, I’m not even sure I can even try and make you understand, really.”
He just furrowed his brow once more before speaking, “What did I say this morning?”
“But then you said almost the opposite out there.” she continued with her own thoughts rather than answering him directly as she finally glanced over at him, “Which is how you really feel, honestly?”
“Which, what?” Ian asked, trying to follow along with her half-spoken thoughts.
“This morning, by the river, you sounded hopeful, almost happy about this…this baby.” she swallowed a bit as she got the words out, “Then, just now you seemed like you actually were very worried about it, said they needed to find a way to save it.” she choked a bit, “So, which is it?”
Ian swallowed a bit as he was then the one who turned his eyes downwards, “I wouldn’t say ‘happy’ is the right word, as much as hopeful.” he attempted to explain, “I mean, I sure as hell didn’t think any of us were quite ready to embark on parenthood, all things considered.” a slight pause, “But, if we are stuck here, which it seems is definitely the case,” another sigh, “Then we will have to think about the future, and a baby is the very definition of a future.” another pause as he tried to find the rest of his words, “But just because I think that the baby is hope for us, it doesn’t mean I’m not scared to death of something terrible happening between now, and when it gets here. I mean, if I didn’t think that it was a sign of hope, then I wouldn’t care at all, would I?” he finally finished as he allowed himself to look back up at her at last.
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Lili allowed the slightest smile as she moved closer to him, laying her head upon his shoulder, “I never pictured you as the paternal type.” she attempted a teasing tone as he slowly moved his arm to wrap around her shoulders.
“I wouldn’t go that far.” he tried to write off her statement, though his tone was more than a bit thoughtful.
“Really?” she glanced up at him out of the side of her eyes, “Cause you’re almost sounding like you’d like it to be yours.” she dared, trying to catch his reaction to the statement.
Ian just attempted a scoff, though it was obvious that her words caused another crack in those walls of his, “I think we should leave the mind-reading to the junior wizards, don’t you?” was all he managed.
Lili then just looked down with a bit of sadness returning easily, “I don’t know. I mean, compared to them, you really are the only one who does seem to be dealing with this.”
Ian just scoffed again, “I know Kyle has been a little…” he just shook his head, “But you can’t tell me that Mr. sensitive out there isn’t in your corner.”
Another slight sigh, “Well, Jared isn’t saying much about it at all. Just that he supports me. But, I’m pretty sure that support is due to his feelings for me, not due to any kind of desire to ever be anyone’s father. Especially considering his own father, and his own genes.” a slight sigh as she forced herself on, “And Kyle…He’s not saying anything to me at all, but…” she just sniffled as she turned her eyes further downward, “I’m pretty sure he hates me, now.” she whispered.
Ian’s breath caught a bit as he attempted, “Hate is a pretty strong word there, Lili.” he began gently, “You gotta remember. He just turned seventeen, and he’s never even been a kid, himself. This is gonna have him spun out for at least a bit.”
She sniffled again and took a breath, “And I’m the oldest out of all of you, and a woman. Shouldn’t I be the one dealing with this the best…not the one who’s taking it the worst?” she added more quietly, “Yeah, I’m really cut out to be a mother, aren’t I?”
Ian pulled her a little closer as he kissed her hair, “You’re terrified, Lili, and understandably.” another squeeze, “But I’m pretty sure that’s exactly the reaction you should be having, right now. And you can’t hate yourself for that.”
That was when she finally looked up at him with a shake of her head as well as what was almost a smile, “Is this really you?”
“Pardon?” he asked, a little caught by that statement.
“Is this really you?” she repeated as she moved closer to wrap both of her arms around him there atop the covers, “Is this really the man you’ve been hiding inside all these years?” she whispered as she placed the briefest kiss upon his lips before awaiting his answer.
“Is that a trick question?” he returned, attempting to sound unruffled by her question.
“You hid him very well.” she allowed another small smile, “No wonder it took ten years for me to find him. It’s your own damn fault, you know.” she teased softly.
Ian allowed his own slight smile, and something very near to a blush, which was rare for him to ever wear, “Does that mean you intend on punishing me?” he smirked.
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“Punishing you, huh?” she allowed the slightest giggle as she moved to pull him into an even closer embrace.
“Well, Jared did say it would hurt if I decided to try and be naughty.” Ian returned as he moved to gently nip at her neck once more.
“Is that a request for punishment then?” she teased as she placed her own kisses over his neck.
“I have a feeling it would be a really good kind of pain.” he nearly growled as he moved to push her down to the bedding, forcing back his own slight wince as he moved to lay above her, where she easily parted her legs to allow him to lie even closer to her own body as his lips covered hers passionately once again.
Jared took a deep breath, still turned away from where Kyle remained in his seat, somberly watching the scattered blades of grass sway in the cooling breeze. Finally, Jared turned back to look at him and steeled himself to speak up once again, “So, I guess the question I’ve gotta ask is, have you been doing this since we left the ship? Doing this to us?” he clarified more quietly, his own tone wrought with caution.
Kyle just glanced up and scoffed bitterly, “I thought I just explained to you that it’s harder with you. I can’t just do it like I did it with them.” another shake of his head, “Considering your own abilities, I probably can’t even do it to you with eye contact now. I’m sure you’ll be able to block me, or whatever, now that you know that the possibility even exists.”
Jared sighed a bit before responding, “Ok, so you probably haven’t used it on me before, but…” he simply glanced back toward the shack.
“I just told you I’m more terrified of this ability than you are of your stuff. And you think I’ve been using it on them?” Kyle returned with disbelief, “Yeah, cause you’ve all been catering to my every whim and desire, haven’t you? Hence Ian getting so pissed at me he was threatening both of us earlier. Come on Jared, does that sound like I’ve been putting the whammy on him, really?” he scoffed again as he shook his head once more.
“And Lili?” Jared dared.
“Yeah, she seems real thrilled with me too.” Kyle added with another scoff.
“I mean, before today.” Jared forced the words, his voice shaking a bit as he did.
Kyle let out another loud sigh of disbelief as he also stood, “Are you fucking serious?”
“It’s an understandable question, Kyle.” Jared managed to get the words out, though apologetically.
“Understandable?” Kyle retorted angrily, “Understandable that you’re basically asking me if I’m a rapist?”
“I didn’t say that.” Jared was quick to deny.
“Yeah, not out loud.” Kyle growled back.
“I’m sorry, Kyle, but if you can do these things…” Jared just shook his head, his own eyes downwards, seeming to feel guilty for even asking, but needing to know.
Kyle just shook his head again, seeming to force back several emotions at once, “Considering the shit-storm that our lives have been since leaving the ship, and how guilty I already felt about us ending up here, and the way I’ve already been punishing myself,” he glanced down at his still sore injuries, “do you really think I took time out to hocus pocus my way into her pants? I mean, really, Jared? Is that what you really think of me?” Kyle asked, failing to expertly hide his own hurt right then, despite how well he normally was at doing just that.
“I’m sorry Kyle, really.” Jared told him, his words seeming sincere, “I just, I had to at least ask.” was the only excuse he could come up with at that point.
Kyle just turned away, still biting back his upset, “And now you want me to help you figure your shit out?” the younger of them scoffed, though sadly.
Jared took another shaky breath as he tried to find any way to smooth over the more than awkward conversation, “Maybe we should concentrate on helping you, first.”
“Oh we’re back to how much help I need. I see.” he returned with a quiet sarcasm.
“I didn’t mean that.” Jared swallowed again.
“Odd how it sounded that way.” Kyle scoffed again.
“I mean,” Jared began as he took another step closer, “If you’re more afraid of your stuff then I even am, and understandably,” he added, “maybe we need to help you before we help me. I mean with your powers.” he remembered to add.
“Did you read some book on that too? Odd, I don’t remember there being one.”
Jared sighed again as he moved to stand next to him, “No, I mean, first we need to figure out exactly how this works, and if anything else comes with it. Like, I know of at least two things I can do, and Serena seemed to have control over more than just the computer, but, other people, in a way, too.” he added, again trying to pull those visions back to his conscious mind in any way that made sense, at all.
“All I know is that I wanted them to think what I thought, and agree with it, and act on it.” Kyle shrugged, his anger seeming to subside slightly under the weight of his honest desire to understand his own abilities, as well, “And I concentrated, and they did.” he added more quietly.
“And we also know that it works different with me, cause of my abilities.” Jared added as he took a seat on the log near the fire once again.
“And?” Kyle pressed as he also moved to take a seat.
“So, I wonder if that’s the key.”
“If what’s the key?” Kyle returned with a furrowed brow.
“From what I understand of the vision, because they weren’t adults, the other E-children, they had to make a collected effort to stop Serena. And I’ve only been an adult, myself for a few months, and, as stated, I’ve been fighting it all along instead of embracing it. And, in your own way, you’ve been at least putting up a partial fight against your own abilities. So maybe it is that we need to work together to unlock them all, whatever they may be, and in turn, try to get some kind of mastery of them. Does that sound like it could be accurate?” he asked more quietly.
“You’re the psychic.” Kyle shrugged again.
“Come on, Kyle, work with me here.” Jared returned, only a slightly scolding tone to his words.
“So, how?” Kyle finally gave in with a slight sigh.
“Well, let’s start with, if you can put thoughts in other people’s heads, does it work the other way?”
“Other people being able to put thoughts in my head?” Kyle raised a brow, “Considering I barely got past your psychic hoodoo, I really doubt it. Not to mention, the lack of another person with my ability, to put said thoughts there.” he pointed out.
“No, I mean, what you were doing was placing compulsions in your team’s minds, right?”
“More or less.” Kyle returned skeptically.
“But what if we’re just talking about thoughts themselves, not necessarily compulsions?”
“What? You mean like you think of a number and I….ten?” he suddenly changed his sentence. Jared just raised a brow, “Ok, weird…did you do that?”
“I think you may be a two way radio, Kyle.” Jared allowed a slight smile.
Kyle just allowed a nervous chuckle, “What? Now you can put thoughts in my head even easier than I can put ’em in yours?” he asked a little worriedly.
“No, I don’t think it’s me putting them there. I mean, I pretty much said, out loud, that I wanted to try seeing if it worked the other way, and I think then you just, like read the thought, just to see if you could. Which was what we were talking about, right?”
“You think I can read minds now, too?” Kyle asked with a combination of awe and worry.
“You tell me.” Jared stated simply, as Kyle looked up at him.
“Black? Kansas? Blueberry Muffin?” he asked the last with a bit of furrow to his brow.
“Don’t you miss those too?” Jared couldn’t help smiling a bit.
“Ok, now this is just freaky.” Kyle shook his head again.
“Welcome to my world.” Jared shrugged in concession.
Kyle took a deep breath, “But I’m not even eighteen yet, and that was…so easy.”
“Well, I did kind of let you in.” Jared admitted, “Try now.”
Kyle looked at him a long moment. Another moment passed as he scowled, “Absolutely nothing this time. Well that lasted long.” he grumbled.
“I think my hoodoo can shut you out, if I’m thinking about it, anyway.”
Kyle just shook his head again, “This is just fucked up.” Kyle stated simply, lacking any better description for the phenomenon right then.
“But, if we do go try and find this ship, there’s no way all of us can go.” Jared began softly, “Lili definitely shouldn’t go, and Ian shouldn’t be alone out there without a telekinetic backup plan, but Lili shouldn’t be alone back here without a doctor, either.”
“Ok, valid points, but not sure how we got from there to here.” Kyle furrowed a brow.
“What I mean is that I need to be with Ian because of what I can do, and I need to be with Lili cause of what I know. Only, being in two places at once is a power I have yet to master.”
“Ok, all true, but…”
“But…” Jared began quietly, “with this thing that you can do, my brain, and what’s in it, that actually could be in two places at once…now that we’ve got the right kind of radio.”
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