My mattress felt extremely hard and my pillow must have shifted in the night because it wasn’t under my head. I felt around for it but couldn’t find where it was. Why the hell is my mattress so hard? It felt like stone as I searched around for my pillow. My stationary arm was numb from laying on it, so I rolled onto my back. The mattress was still hard and something dug into my back. Is that flickering candlelight?

With that thought, it all came rushing back and even with my eyes closed, I knew it wasn’t candlelight, but a torch. I let out a deep breath and kept my eyes closed. I was hoping that I could just go back to sleep, but it remained elusive. I slowly opened my eyes to take in my surroundings.

All I saw was roughly cut grey stone and fluctuating shadows. I would have to sit up to get a better view, but then my captors would know I was awake if they didn’t already. I sat up to more roughly cut grey stone and fluctuating shadows. This was because I was facing the back of whatever space the goblins were holding me. I spun around to the opposite direction and to the light.

My view was mostly more stone, but at least I had a few other things to look at. The space I was in was basically the end of a tunnel. Stripped branches of wood in a crisscross pattern and tied with some type of twine blocked any chance I had of leaving. On the right side was a small door that looked like it worked by lifting it up. Past the barrier and hanging on either side of the wall were two torches that were responsible for the limited light that I had. Most troubling though, right below both torches were Goblin Guards and they were glaring at me and I could tell by their postures that they were on edge and ready to move at a moments notice.

Each guard held a long spear and I glanced at the space I had in my small prison. If I were pressed all the way back to the wall, they might not be able to reach me, but I didn’t want to take that chance. I felt fine for the moment and decided to take the time to look through my menu screen, but just as I had the thought, a third goblin strode out of the darkness.

My two guards instantly stood straighter and gripped their spears tighter.

“Gubba, Gubba Gubba,” the new goblin said. I wondered if it was my lack of language skills that made all their words sound the same, or if they did all sound the same and they just used inflection.

The two guards responded similarly and then the new one turned to me. Most of the goblin workers I saw wore a dirty brown loincloth. The guards were comparable, the other differences were the spears or occasionally a sash or ripped shirt. This goblin wore a thick hooded robe that was a dark grey.

“I’ll only ask this once, who are you, what are you doing here and are there any others with you?” It asked in surprisingly good English. His voice was squeaky from the tiny vocal cords most of his people must have.

“You know English?” I asked, stunned from his use of my language.

“I don’t know what English is, but I speak the common tongue, which is fortunate for you, else you might be dead. Now answer my question.”

As I sat there thinking about what to say, I took in my surroundings. I could probably break through those week wood bars that these goblins set up. At least if my fight with the Platypus Bear is concerned.

I got stabbed in the shoulder.

“Oh, Fuck?” I looked at my shoulder and one of the guard’s wooden spears was still sticking in there. I should have been freaked out, but the fact was; it didn’t hurt that bad. I grabbed the spear and pulled in from the goblin’s grasp and into the cell with me. I ripped it from my shoulder and spun it around, then quickly struck out at the two guards.

I aimed at the guard that still had his own spear and then plunged my stolen one into his eye socket. The force of my attack broke through the backside of his head and the fountain of blood that erupted from his pierced skull extinguished the torch on the wall behind him. I stuck the other one in the neck, but he managed to lean back so the tip of the spear didn’t break through to the other side. He still fell to the ground dead quicker than a punctured submarine.

I started kicking through the wooden cage as the well-dressed Goblin turned to flee. At least I thought he was turning to flee. I did run back a few feet, but then he turned back at the edge of the shadows and I could see his arms moving around in an intricate pattern. I could also hear a low guttural chanting coming from his direction.

I broke the last bar in my cell and rushed into the room with the goblin just as his hands lit up with fire and he hurled it right at my head. I read his movements prior to the throw and I dodged out of the way. It was a powerful attack though and I could feel the heat as it passed near my head. I dodged with a spin like a professional running back at sprinted in his direction. He was only able to squeak in fear at my speed. I didn’t kill him though, I needed information, so I clutched him around the neck and lifted him off the ground.

Analyze

Goblin Shaman

Level 10

“Now, I’ll only ask this once. How in the fuck do I get out of here?”

“Gack,” the Goblin Shaman said and I realized I was holding his neck too tightly, so I eased up a little.

“You shall never make it out of here you filthy creature! If you kill me, Rah’men leader of the goblin clan, my subjects shall hunt you to the end of your days.”

“Your name is Rah’men?”

“Yes! And if you don’t release me-”

“So you’re Goblin Shaman Rah’men?” I asked, interrupting another rant and chuckling to myself a little.

Goblin Shaman Rah’men’s eyes grew wide. “You mock me? I will feed you to my God and he will rend your flesh for all eternity!”

His hands lit up with fire and I crushed his neck to stop the attack. Damn, what do I do now?

The melee was loud and I could already hear a commotion in the darkness of the cavern. I needed to get out of here. I flung the body of Goblin Shaman Rah’men away like soggy noodles, grabbed the other guards spear and ran into the darkness since it was the only way to go. Hopefully, I could find another passageway so I wouldn’t have to deal with any more goblins.

I quickly came up to another torch hanging on the side of the hallway and standing in the center of the orange-red light was a group of about ten goblin soldiers. They were lined up across the small cavern path with their primitive wooden spears pointed in my direction.

Standing behind the first line of goblin spear users was another goblin that seemed to be directing their actions and at the end of its spear was my knife. I was going to see if there was a way to get around this threat, but I wanted my knife. I rolled my shoulder to check the pain level from being stabbed and found that it was painless and when I looked down, it had even healed already. Sweet!

I was about to run into the fight, but I hesitated and then decided to give them one more chance.

I slowly stepped forward from the darkness and entered the sphere of light like an impregnating sperm.

“That’s my knife,” I said, pointing toward the weapon in question. “I want it back.” I stared at the goblin that held the spear it was attached to. He had an extra sash of cloth draped across his chest. I guess this made him more important than the others so I hoped that he could understand me.

“Gubba patubba,” he said and the goblin guard second to the left slowly moved forward. I guess he didn’t understand.

I waited for the goblin guard to move a little closer. Only sending one guard forward was a severe tactical mistake. I would allow me to strike without worrying about the others and it opened a hole in their line. I was glad that I didn’t just run in there attacking, this was going to make getting past them that much easier. I stayed still as the goblin moved forward. When he was about half the distance from where he had been to me, I rushed in to attack.

My movement was swift and I only needed to take a single step forward to plunge the spear deep into the head of the goblin. With my speed and momentum, the spear pierced through its brain and protruded from the other side. I lifted the back end of the spear and dug the tip into the ground. With my momentum and the springy wood of the spear, I vaulted over the goblin corpse and into the open space it left behind. I slid along the stone for a couple feet like Jet Li did once upon a time in China. Once I stopped, I twirled and struck with the other spear I was holding. I aimed at the line of goblin spearmen who had barely even reacted. My aim was true and my spear shish-ka-bobbed three of the goblins right through the cranium. Whether there wasn’t enough force or the spear wasn’t long enough, it didn’t protrude from the third goblin’s head. Fortunately, the third goblin’s head did knock into the fourth one and all the goblins except the one on my other side and the one with my knife fell in a heap.

I grabbed the one that was on the opposite side of the heap – the one on the other side of me when I landed – and I twirled him around by his pointy ears and launched him at the one with my knife at the end of his spear. I picked up the spear he dropped as I grabbed him by the ears and stabbed them all until I was sure they were dead.

I looked down at the creatures laying in holey pile over an expanding pool of blood. The Goblins were sapient creatures and I just slaughter some of them without blinking. That was easier then I was led to believe.

If the experience left any permanent psychological damage, I decided to deal with it later. I grabbed the spear with my knife and decided to leave it attached for now since it was secured firmly on the stick. I then grabbed one the torches off the wall so I wouldn’t be running around the dark anymore. It’s time to see where this rabbit hole leads.