Ten thousand long years later and I still have no clue or leads about anything before I woke up in the hole in the ground in the middle of a desert. Now here I am in 2010 in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania living in an 8th-floor apartment of a building I own with every modern convenience I can get my hands on. I spend my days looking for stories to write and sell to online news sites and my nights binge-watching my favorite TV shows while munching on the most convenient food I could ever imagine.

Tonight, I threw together some waffle batter and heated some chicken gravy, and put some chicken in the new air fryer I just got. Just as I flop down on my recliner with a can of Dr. Pepper and hit play on my Dexter season 1 DVD I hear a loud knock at the door. Kicking the recliner back in the upright position I stood up with my plate full of waffles and chicken drowned in gravy and made my way to the front of my apartment and the door to see who it was. Beside my door is my stepstool and I slide it over under the peephole to look out into the hallway and see who is interrupting my delicious dinner. Outside my door are standing two of the largest men I have ever seen wearing sweatpants and tank tops and doing the best impressions of marble statues. Giggling to myself I hopped down off the stool and kicked it to the side of the door and opened it up with my free hand.

“What's up Hans and Frans? Are you here to “pump me up?” I said in a horrible accent.

Both men looked completely at a loss and the one on the left who was about 6 and a half feet tall said ever so eloquently “huh?”

“Wow have you never watched tv? Who are you and what do you want?” I asked, “I am hungry and my waffles are getting soggy.”

“Umm, we were at the penthouse and I wanted to know what exactly happened there and how you managed to deal with those vampires.” Said the one on the left who must have been in charge.

“Listen Hans you still haven’t told me WHO you are. I am guessing you are Tigger but beyond the clever nicknames I have given you I would like to know who you actually are.” I said

“I am Damon McLoughlin, leader of the eastern were packs and sitting member of the Covenant Council. This is my second and enforcer James Lyons,” he said, pointing at the other man with him. “Now who exactly are you Mara?”

“I am Mara. That is all you really need to know about me unless you do something that catches my attention then you won’t want to know me at all. So what exactly do you need to know and why is it that you think I need to answer your questions?” I said before taking a huge mouthful of chicken waffles and gravy.

“As a member of the Covenant Council, it is my responsibility to investigate supernatural incidents and report on them to the rest of the council. As someone who is obviously supernatural, you are beholden to the council and must abide by its rules or face the repercussions of your disobedience.” He said with the self-important tone of someone who is used to being in charge of whatever conversation or situation he finds himself in.

“Nah….” smack” I don’t” chomp “recognize” gulp “ your authority. I never agreed to it and I have no intention of being ruled over by anyone ever for any reason. However if it will get you to leave me alone and stop bothering me so I can get back to watching Dexter I will answer whatever questions I feel like answering for the next….” looking down at my Droid Incredible as I pulled it from my pocket “5 minutes, starting now.”

“What do you mean you do not recognize the authority of the council? You are part of the supernatural world and as such you are subject to the same rules as all supernatural beings.” Damon said.

“That isn’t one of the questions you want to ask about the penthouse but I will give you an answer. Nobody in your council has the power to enforce their rules on me. I have been around longer than any of them and I have been imposing my own rules on the supernatural world since your ancestors were eating villagers in remote areas throughout the world over ten thousand years ago. The rules are not made for me. The rules are made because of me and what I did to your people for thousands of years for stepping out of line and thinking they were better than humans.” I said “ 4 minutes.”

“That is just crazy and impossible. We would have heard of you before and there would be stories about you. You are just making up wild and insane stories to mess with me because it amuses you. We made the covenant and the rules we live by because humans have saturated the world and it is the only way to ensure our survival and anonymity, not because of one insane midget chick.” he said with obvious disdain.

“You have heard of me and I am not a midget. First off, that is a derogatory term and it's offensive to little people so don't be a dick. Second, I am almost 4’11 so I am just above the height of a little person. Third, you have heard of me but you just don't recognize me from the myths and legends because they always portray me as some sort of god or angel of death or some other nonsense. The only reason I am bothering to tell you any of this is so you will leave me alone. I know you tracked my scent here but this building is full of low-income families that I help to get out of bad situations usually caused by some sort of trouble made by a supernatural being like you or one of the other species in the city. I will absolutely not tolerate any danger coming near this place and will deal with anyone who harms one of my tenants slowly and painfully.” I said vehemently.

“That is not our intention at all in fact we are trying to prevent any harm from coming to humans whenever possible. We are…” he stopped as I interrupted him and said, “you have 1 minute left so you better make it good.”

“Fine,” he said “What are you and how did you deal with those vampires? That is really all I need to know.”

“What I am is hungry. There is nothing else like me so there is no answer to your question. How I dealt with the vampires is simple though. I killed them. Violently.” I said chewing on another bite of my food.

“What do you mean ‘I killed them.’ that doesn’t really explain how you killed a nearly immortal being with your bare hands while drugged and surrounded by four vampires.” he said exasperated.

“I. AM. IMMORTAL. I am stronger than a vampire. I am faster than a vampire. They may be nearly immortal but if you punch a hole through their chest or head they turn to ash. If you kick their head off their shoulders then poof, bye-bye bloodsucker. It’s pretty simple really. They aren’t that hard to kill when you compare them to some of the beings I have put down over the millennia.” I said, There was a ding down the hallway and I peeked around the corner to see the elevator doors open and my Angel stepped out carrying a couple of Tupperware containers. “Times up fellas. You can see yourselves out the way you came in. Buh bye.”

I looked back down the hall and said “ANGEL! What did you bring me to eat today? I am just finishing up a plate of chicken and waffles but I always have room for your delicious home cooking.”

“We still have more questions.” Damon said.

I looked back at him and said “I have answered all I plan to answer. You can leave now. Don’t make me tell you a third time because I do not want what happens out there interfering with the people who live here. They have been through enough.” I glared at them and made a shooing gesture with my hand.

Damon and James glanced at each other then Damon said “Thanks for your time I will follow back up if I have any more questions.” They turned and started walking towards the elevator, passing Angel who shied away from them as she made her way into my apartment.