《Trending News (According to Narrator)》001 Greetings

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Greetings, I am your humble host, Narrator, alongside my producer, Author (j0nn0).

Seeing as how you’re actually reading this, I’m impressed you got this far! There’s no way anybody would have clicked on this story commentary, right? Author had to have bribed you with cookies. I’m sure of it. There’s no other logical explanation.

Hmm… “No” you say? You’re actually here to enjoy a commentary by little ol’ me? Cool beans. Well, you’re in luck because I’m back in action now after a certain somebody has been neglecting his stories.

“Hey, Narrator,” my lazy producer drawls from behind his keyboard.

What?

“Get on with the bit already! Nobody wants to sit there and look at you ramble on all day long, especially me. Tell the audience what they’re in for already!”

You wound me, Author. I’m not the one who has trouble writing things, that’s your job to begin with. I’m just a figment of your creation and I was just getting to that part, anyways.

So, still with me, dear reader?

…No?

You are? Good, because I was just getting to the good parts. Ahem...

Welcome to RoyalRoadL.com, a community where one can read, write, comment, play games, or just kill time through imaginary constructs such as I, your host. Whatever your intent, I shall do my utmost to comment on any and every aspect of RRL that comes to my attention. Be it on “Semi-Official Groups”, The Group, forums, fictions, trends, commenting, or even the commentators themselves, I’ll be sure to give you my dollar on the subject… Why dollar? That’s because my two cents isn’t nearly enough to entertain a group like you, but that’s beside the point. I’ll just be here to ramble on and on about what’s happening in RRL, kinda like a blog really. Actually, I like the sound of that, “Narrator’s Blog”...

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Moving along, will it be biased? Very likely. I only have one information lackey and producer after all.

Will I be able to amuse you? I dunno, that’s entirely up to the fickle fingers of Author and your sense of humor.

Will I respond to just about any comment left below? Very likely.

When will I stop rambling on with these inane questions and stupidly long sentences that just seem to drag on and on across several lines of text, making reading this one sentence a hassle to read and even more annoying to keep straight in your head?

“Narrator, you’re doing it again.”

Ahh, deepest apologies. Now where was I? Right, the contents of “Trending News (according to me)” has a wide range. Do you need to read it all? No, but it would inflate my and Author’s ego a little bit to know that people actually read this stuff and actually care to comment. As for the next piece of trending news, I’m not actually sure about that. Author?

“Hey, don’t look at me. It’s stated in the blurb under “Spontaneity!” Whatever works, works, unless any commentators want something in particular. Right now, I’m thinking of covering the main points of RRL such as forums, fictions, and groups, maybe audience on the side though.”

And there you have it, straight from the horse’s mouth… Er, Author’s mouth.

See you next time on Trending News (According to Me). Narrator signing off.

“Is Narrator gone yet? Finally. What, you’re still here? What do you expect me to do? Dance? Sing? Light myself on fire and post it on youtube to earn a Darwin award? I’m just an author who likes wasting time on little enjoyable things in life… I think I’ll just get back to dealing with real life now. See ya in a couple days or less. It really depends on how up to writing I feel. Feel free to follow, comment, or deface my reviews wall as you wish… it’s not like I’m hoping for something to entertain myself with or anything. Really. I’m serious. Do something, or nothing and see that I don’t care about it.

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Thanks for reading all the way through, I guess, unless you just skipped to the bottom of course. See ya next time.”

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*Disclaimer* Spoiler : Trending News (According to Narrator) is in no way, shape, or form endorsed by the RRL staff and should be treated as such. I repeat, my and Narrator’s word IS NOT the voice of RRL or its staff and should never be treated as an official source, ever.

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