《Exploit》My Savior

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Do you know what it feels like to have someone pull your ass out of the fire? At first it feels pretty good. In the beginning it's a relief. Then you start to resent yourself for not being able to help yourself. Next you resent them for not letting you save yourself. The point is the human mind isn't perfect. We are all a bit selfish, conceated, and generally just assholes deep down.

As I'm getting the ever loving fuck beat out of me, I notice the sound of hooves in the background. It gets quite loud, and soon the beating stops, the bandits all appear to be retreating. That's right, I scared them away with my magical ability to take an ass-whooping. Kneel before the Mighty Justin. Cower before my lack of might. Fear my ability to uhh, do stuff. Alright, that last one wasn't that witty, but what can you expect? I just received a free ass kicking.

Anyway, during my internal rendition of my speech, some people come strolling up. Well, that's a bit of an under-exaggeration. Not some people, a metric fuck ton of people come strolling up. All well armed, all riding giant horses, and all looking like they could beat my ass seven ways to Sunday. Not that it would be that hard at his point, but I digress.

The man in the lead quickly dismounts and I'm immediately awestruck. Picture Prince Charming, but with better abs. If I liked the fellas, I'm quite sure my jimmy's would be rustling at this point. Looks aside, he's clearly the person in charge. He walks right up to me and firmly states, Stand back citizen, the knights of the realm are here to assist you. He shouts to the knights behind him, flank them, let no bandit survive.

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It's at this point where I should have said, thank you sir knight, or maybe something heroice, my life-blood thanks you. I didn't do either of these things. I just kind of looked around a bit confused, surprised that I didn't have a few extra holes in me, and frankly a bit disappointed. I mean, it's not like life is permanent, the last time I died I was brought to anothe world. Who's to say it won't happen again? Maybe life is just full of infinite worlds all full of them infinitely reincarnating. Damn that seems complicated, best not to think about it.

Prince Charming looks at me expectantly, almost hungrily. I can tell he needs approval of some sort, and I'd like to give it to him, I really would. However, I'm just not that great at praising people. Aside from a bump on the shoulder and a stern atta-boy. I don't really have much experience making people feel worthy. I guess I'll try my best. Thank you sir knight, I hope that I didn't inconvenience you, I say. Think nothing of it dear citizen, it's our job to clear out the vagabonds of the kingdom, he says. Come with me, we'll escort you to the nearest city and recover your stolen goods from those bandits.

Stolen goods, stolen goods. EUREKA. This guy thinks the bandits robbed me, that's why I'm carring a shoddily blanket with bare belongings. He thinks they took all my shit. I tell him that hopefully they can recover my gold and if so, I'd be happy to repay them a good portion of it as thanks. He hastily agrees, and we set of on our way to the nearest city. Hopefully his knights recover "my" gold, and I have something to pay these gullible sacks with.

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