《I am My Own Disciple》Chapter 6: Can a Phoenix See Its Own Shadow?
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(Yazhu Qiang)
My name is Yazhu Qiang. To my friends I am Qiang-er, to my teacher I am proof of her complete transformation, and to my teacher's teacher I am “spear-guy.” I just don't get Ju Ping. He's a genius. No one in the village could possibly question that. He is as gifted as the dojo master despite being a young child, and seems to have absorbed alchemical knowledge just from going out into the woods and experimenting. Everything he does seems to be effortless and yet he's also such an idiot.
Take for example school. We all expected him to skip grades based on how much his father was boasting about him teaching himself to read. Who had ever heard of such a thing. Then he shows up, bows low to the teacher and takes a seat in the back and just stares at the teacher. His tests come out—average. Better in reading and writing but horrible in math and with odd eccentricities in his knowledge of history but so many holes. You'd think he raised himself in the woods with his knowledge of recent history. The worst part is he thinks he knows everything. You just can't teach a guy like that except he pays perfect attention and seems to always be ready to try.
None of us can accuse him of being the teacher's pet, though, because if the teacher ever asks him to do something he's always quick to refuse so he has more time to practice martial arts. His speed cleaning of the classroom is admirable in its speed but every once in a while the teacher manages to corner him and force him to go back over spots he went over hastily.
I think the person who understands him best is my teacher Meifen. Did you know she used to be the most unpopular person in school? She was teased, bullied and accused of being all sorts of awful things at night. I don't think they're true, but I wonder sometimes. She's strong, though, so strong I can't picture her ever letting anyone push her around. Yet I know it happened. I saw it and thought at least I don't have it that bad. I was the second biggest pushover in school and the delinquent's errand boy.
Meifen was saved by master. She says it was because the bullies were misuing a knife. That sounds like him. He wouldn't notice people unless they had something to do with teachers, martial arts, or warfare.
I once saw him running into town with Meifen trailing behind them. I asked what was going on, and she told me that he found a Haderoth arrowhead. It wasn't enough metal to make something useful for, but he found it thrilling nonetheless. Meifen had a smile like she was happy for him too.
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In truth, Meifen, especially a smiling Meifen, scares me far more than Ju Ping. With Ping you're probably all but invisible to him, but Meifen notices things. One day she decided to clean up the school and challenged all the delinquents at once. She fought them all and won and from then on ruled the school as the queen. Except she was a benevolent queen who forced the delinquents to stop bullying others and even to make restitution to some of those they'd bullied. She didn't accept restitution for herself, though. The strangest thing was from then on for two months she started training the bullies. Not just her bullies but mine and even older kids.
I asked her once why she did that and she said her master ordered her to do it. She chose to go through with it in the least unsavory manner she could manage. I hadn't noticed until that moment in truth she burned with as much hatred then as she had when she first began her campaign of terror on her former bullies.
She still wanted to destroy them and the only thing standing between her and them was their family's money, the teacher who supported them, and her master's command. I don't think Ju Ping understands how awful bullying is. I don't think he has the capacity to understand what it means to be a victim.
When Meifen began to teach me she said I would continue until I wanted to stop. Then she turned me into a walking bruise. She is merciless but afterwards she treats my bruises and cuts with leftovers from their pharmacy. I bet Ju Ping doesn't even notice these bits going missing. To him, the world must be such a magical place. There is an ocean of wealth in every field and no one can hold a candle to his prowess. He even has Meifen, the school's empress, following behind him and assisting in everything without a word of complaint.
I hate it when I get like this. We're all born for different things. I want to be an adventurer one day and leave this town behind for the wealth, power and world we hear whispers of from travellers passing through. Comparing myself to Ju Ping is a trap.
Still, it's so hard sometimes. This afternoon, Meifen asked me about boys and how to get their interest. I knew who she meant. I could have tried to sabotage them. To misrepresent things. To claim that I was an expert and could easily help her.
I didn't. I said it as I saw it. I owed her that much.
“I don't think I can help. If you're talking about Him then you'll need to ask a weapon or a martial arts manual what would interest them. I think me and him just are too different.”
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She was disappointed but not truly surprised. She understood what I was talking about and forgave me for badmouthing him after only one particularly rough spar. When Ju Ping arrived I took my frustrations out on him. For once it seemed to work and he was caught off guard by a blow from Meifen.
I think the problem with the two of them is that Meifen won't correct him, and he thinks he doesn't need correction. It won't affect their martial arts, but one day Meifen will follow him into a dragon's den and only he will walk out. I don't know how to stop it.
A year ago, Meifen finally finished opening her Lower Dantian. She told me about it. It was the most excruciating experience she'd ever had. Like her veins had turned to liquid fire and the pressure was a half step to bursting when it all pooled together and transformed from pressure, heat and pain to liquid Hao Meifen. When it was over she opened her eyes to find Ju Ping holding her hand. He was smiling up at her and asking her how it went.
I know he cares. I know he wants to do right by her even if he doesn't care in a romantic sense.
I just don't know how to fix him and I don't know how to save her.
She saved me. She is my Ju Ping. I need to help her.
But how?
Suddenly, I see a light flashing across the sky. It's almost too bright to be a shooting star, but then it dims and fades as it descends. It's falling...onto the Ju house? What in the world?
***
[Somewhere in the East of Lorraine]
The Magical eddies around the Nexus point freeze. Then stream up in an unnatural pattern. I look up and see an opening in the world cracking apartt as the very sky is torn asunder for a split second. Then it's over and the magic drifts down like snowflakes having lost their target. There's something new in the world now, though. I can only see the faintest trace of its tail, but the waves of its passage are coming. I need to ensure the Coven is ready for what this brings. Hopefully someone saw where it was falling towards.
Nights like these make me wish the old Archmagister didn't die so suddenly. Who could have imagined a single 1 aria incantation could cause a stroke and rob the life of the Midnight General. I could really use your wisdom, Teacher.
***
[Somewhere in the Glass Islands]
I crack my eyes open. The peaceful night has been shattered. It was such a wonderful night. I suppose I should check on that. I crane my neck, but cannot spot anything. Huh? I guess I didn't sense it from nearby. Then from a nearby island? No?
The voice of wind speaks and reminds me how often my kind forget that the world is not just around them but above them. I raise my chin and it strikes me as obvious as sledgehammer to the face. How could I have missed this change? The whole tapestry of fate is shifting. It's happening again. Just like 10 years ago.
I sigh. There's more work to be done. I make note of where it's heading. Somewhere in West Shu Han. Very well. I'm glad at least this time I have a lead. I stand up on legs that have grown from pins and needles numb to full on screaming bloody murder. Then I lift myself up into the arms of the wind and command it to carry me forth in the direction the sun rises from.
***
[Somewhere on the Neverending Plateu of Sahelia]
“God dammnit. I'm tired. Wipe your own fuckin' butt for once.” I scream out to the sky. It responds with more droplets of piss.
The opening is closing. Good, at least he's not sending several things like that time on the lesser world of Baí Zé.
Wait, there's something funny about the flight pattern. Hey, it's not headed for me. It's going towards Cathay. Northern Cathay would be my guess. Hah? So you've finally found another sucker to con into playing your game so you can spend more time gaming.
I wonder if I should go there. Maybe help out my young Kouhai. Show them the ropes and make sure they can't get themselves killed too fast. It would be a shame if they die too quickly. That would mean more work for me rather than him splitting the workload.
***
[Somewhere in ?????????]
It has happened again. The angels have parted the waters of heaven once more. This time only one thing fell. I can feel myself salivating. I hope it is an angel, but I doubt it. Most likely it is another divine artifact. The balance of power will no doubt be broken once more just as it was 60 or 70 years ago.
Perfect. Chaos and conflict with weaken them and provide me an opening to claim my prize once more. They still have not found a way to counteract such a simple flaw in their society. There is no need to fight them head-on. They will simply not be able to compete with us through the eons and then one decade they will simply vanish.
Times to prepare. Perhaps I should send someone to gather information until I am ready. Someone who will not be in danger of assimilating. Vairochana has been well-behaved recently. At worse, our collective will lose an expendable spy.
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